DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2015

06

Mar

Gigi Hadid, Barbara Palvin, Lottie Moss and Emily DiDonato in a Shitty Campaign of the Day

This is a cheesy fucking shoot…they got “it girl” Gigi Hadid, who in being an LA Rich kid has managed to brand herself to the world as a relevant model and I guess you can’t hate her for that. I mean modelling is pretty vapid and stupid, but you might as well spend your time getting paid by idiots who keep telling you how hot you are, it’s good for your self esteem and better than just living off the trust fund doing coke…it’s like make your own coke money or some shit…

She’s with Barbara Palvin, who is a Victoria’s Secret model, apparently disgusting in person….but she was the diversion of Bieber fucking Miranda Kerr…Kate Moss’ sister Lottie is also in the mix, I don’t think she’s 18…and the group comes together with Emily DiDonato, who banged Jake Gyllenhaal and who is thus dead to me…

I mean this shoot could have gone anywhere, and all we got was cheesy hipster inspired shorts in one spread eagled shot…what a waste…

Here are the pics..

Posted in:Barbara Palvin|Emily DiDonato|Gigi Hadid|Lottie Moss

2015

06

Mar

Georgia Fowler Nipples for a Bikini Campaign of the Day

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Georgia Fowler is a New Zealand model, who unlike the hobbits that normally run around in New Zealand, is tall and amazing…

She’s been modeling since she was 12 years old….she’s 22…and she’s booked this campaign with what I assume is a bikini company, but can’t be too sure if it is a bikini company, because I am too busy looking at her nipples in said bikini, reminding me of an early 2000s fetish I once had for Micro bikinis from Australia, that were the trashiest, skimpiest, see through when wet that fat old ladies would wear on vacation and submit pics of them wearing…full vagina exposed…amazing right…but not as amazing when it is done in a “classy” way…with actual models…because nipples on the beach, nipples in bikinis, nipples in general are a good times…and we should encourage this kind of behavior from all brands and all women…alike..because they are just nipples…but amazing…

Posted in:Georgia Fowler

2015

06

Mar

Chanel West Coast Has No Nipples While She Models Lingerie of the Day

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Chanel West Coast is one of those Iggy Azalea, Charli XCX, white female rappers with a fat ass who no one really cares about, except maybe for 15 year old suburban girls who hang out at their local mall…only unlike the other two, this one hasn’t quite hit famous yet…but she’s trying and I guess not hard enough..because she’s from LA, those other bitches are imports…she’s been on TV, those other bitches just sucked the right cock…not to say Chanel West Coast hasn’t sucked the right cock…but based on her record sales she hasn’t….

I don’t know all that much about her, maybe she’s super fucking famous, I didn’t really bother googling her and all I’ve said is speculative. But I will say that based on my knowledge of all things…a good place to try to fix the gaping hole in her career is that when she does hot shoots like this…she doesn’t photoshop out her nipple.

Guys like nipples, girls like nipples, everyone has shown their fucking nipples, and those who don’t just can’t be taken seriously or seen as committed to the cause…especially with an ass like this..I mean it’d be so easy to transition over…so should really work on that…unless she was born without nipples, or had them surgically removed like Angelina Jolie…and these nippleless pics are just how her alien tits were designed….in which case…weird…

Posted in:Chanel West Coast

2015

06

Mar

Reese Witherspoon’s Mom Ass in Leggings of the Day

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The only thing I find semi-interesting, and I say semi-interesting because I am being generous in the way I describe my interest in anything Reese Witherspoon, seeing as I don’t give a fuck about any of these people, especially old, chubby, moms married to their really rich agents…after a divorce with some pretty boy, party boy, she got knocked up by on pretty much her first movie…

So the only thing I find semi-interesting about Reese Witherspoon, now that I’ve made it clear that I don’t give a fuck about anything Reese Witherspoon….is that she’s played this morally sound, good southern girl in her public image to get people to like her, meanwhile she was letting dudes cum in her on set of Cruel Intentions, she left said dude for her agent instead of sticking it out with him, and she’s a fucking celebrity which in and of itself is Satan’s work according to the bible…

She lives in a lavish home, has lots of money, and acts in movies to be idolized by people everywhere, who should be idolizing god….according to her church…

I guess the salvation in this all is that she will be going to hell…based on her beliefs…but before she does…you can stare at her mom ass in leggings, butt I have no fucking idea why you’d want to.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Reese Witherspoon

2015

06

Mar

Xenia Deli in Underwear of the Day

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Xenia Deli is a model that consistently reminds me of a roast beef sandwich pussy…for obvious reasons…her name is fucking Deli..which I guess also reminds me of old fat Jewish men with mustard stains on his shirt after a lunch meeting…and what it comes down to, when you look like Xenia, her name doesn’t matter, and even if it was a name she got for having a meaty pussy, I would be still down in eating it, or having it smother me and rock back and forth on my face..dripping off my chin and onto my shirt…because pussy is created equally…and I love all pussy…even the gross ones…not so much the infected ones, but in my old age I’ve realized…a slit, or a mangled fleshy mess…is still a fucking pussy and when it comes to fucking pussy…its all fucking great…

Here she is in Calvins.

Posted in:Xenia Deli

2015

06

Mar

Hipster in a River of the Day

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I call any girl who doesn’t look like an actual model a hipster model. It is interchangeable with Instragram model, but with less followers, because the photoshoots they put together are more on a school project, doing it for practice, pretending it is art kick, than for an actual brand or campaign. It is like the soul purpose of these shoots is for Instagram and Tumblr, and it amazes me how obnoxious people are when peddling these out there with the “Shoot today, shooting today”…it’s like no you aren’t, your friend is taking pics of you for instagram because you have nothing better to do with your time thanks to your fucking trust fund….

The good thing is, a lot of these girls get that the key for their self produced shoots to go anywhere is getting naked or half naked…because it’s edgy and art…right..

I guess what it comes down to is that this is the future, real models and actors don’t matter…motherfucker..it is all about you..

Her name is Heather…you can follow her on INSTAGRAM …I suggest telling her you want to be her manager…or agent…you’ll probably get a blowjob out of it…and we all like blowjobs….especially from aspiring models.

Posted in:Hipster

2015

06

Mar

Canada Fame Whore Goes Hiking in LA of the Day

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Here is a Canada Fame Whore that I think should remain nameless, because it is funnier like that. I’ll give you hints as to who she is, but before I do, I want to make it very clear that she does not matter….

She left Canada to be on some 90210 the remake, that show got canceled to no one’s surprise, it was a horrible fucking idea…and after being on the show, the 5 minutes of fame disappeared, but she stayed in LA to pursue her dream, because why the fuck not…

I’m sure she went to castings, got nothing, and figured she’d do the instagram whoring, figuring she already had a head start thanks to being on TV…

So she got some breast implants and copied the instagram whores before her…”oh I’m in a bikini, here’s a mirror selfie, watch me workout, let me make my booty pop”…kind of thing…and here she is working out…because I like fame whores, even if she’s a miserable fucking person…trying too hard…she’s slutty about it and that’s good.

Posted in:Jessica Lowndes

2015

06

Mar

Iza Goulart Fitness is Still Happening of the Day

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A video posted by Izabel Goulart (@iza_goulart) on Mar 5, 2015 at 3:55am PST

People are so repetitive, so obvious…it’s like we get it Izabel Goulart, you work out…you show off, skinny bitch, showing the world how fit and strong you are because you make over 1,000,000 dollars a year being skinny and fit, and if you weren’t skinny and fit, no one would give a fuck about you…

We get it Izabel Goulart, you are trying to give meaning to your vapid, superficial existence. Your contribution to the world is to tell other girls they aren’t fat and strong enough. It is done in a form of “trying to show people workout moves”…but in the 15 second video Instagram allows, just comes across as bragging…”Look at what I can do because I have nothing to do all day when I am not working, so I might as well work out so that I feel like I matter”….

And it’s pretty amazing…

I am sure more dudes jerk off to these videos, that people who get inspired to get fit or to try her moves at home…because the world is filled with perverts who jerk off to social media. That’s 90 percent of the reason why it works.

Posted in:Iza Goulart

2015

06

Mar

Graffiti Artist in Toronto and Other Videos of the Day

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Drunk Squirrel

Indianna Jones Plane

Friendly Australian Car Accident

Road Rage in California

Wrong Place / Wrong Time

Shop Keeper Jump Kicks a Girl Out of His Store

Flip Flop Wearing Vandal

FHRITP Troll of the Day

Posted in:stepNEWS|Videos

2015

06

Mar

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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I am sure funnier things would happen in my life if I left the house…but instead I am forced to smell smells that no human should smell, I’m talking eggy smells…radiating out of my wife…in a 400 square foot apartment…that I can’t escape because it is frozen outside..

I guess the highlight of my night was planning an elaborate live broadcast suicide, but it would require work…and if I liked work I wouldn’t be doing this…

All this to say…no one sent me a pussy pic last night. I think I’ve peaked.

Here are some stepLINKS in the Morning…

11 Year Old Dresses Like Christian Grey from Fifty Shades of Grey
GO

Miss USA Behind the Scenes
GO

Eating 26 Ghost Peppers
GO

The Climbing Cat of Russia
GO

Ana Braga in a Bikini
GO

Lion Opens Door in South Africa
GO

Michelle Lewin Big Tits in a Bikini
GO

Hot Mug Shot of the Day
GO

Chris Brown’s Baby Momma was a Whore
GO

Boyfriend Performs WWE Moves on His Girlfriend
GO

Jennifer Nicole Lee is a Famewhore in Skimpy Clothes
GO

Dark Places Trailer
GO

Cell Phone Batteries are Explosive
GO

Mirror Selfies
GO

Man Kills Neighbor – Brings Dead Body to his Lawyer’s Office
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS