DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2015

16

Jan

Shay Mitchell for Yahoo Style of the Day

Shay Mitchell is some very famous, yet still not household, celebrity on some popular show, who I guess is trying to not be the Tori Spelling, unable to ever branch out from that popular show, and one day being forced to whore herself on reality TV, because in her racially ambiguous mind, she’s an actress…and she’s got Oscar wins in her…she just has to get cast…and as another one of these Canadians girls just trying to make it…I’m excited to see it all collapse, because…I like when they come crawling back and end up working the bar where you drink so you can discuss their 2 million instagram followers…and how it all means nothing..

But before that happens, she’s on some media campaigns, doing any media she can, because it’s time for her to take this celebrity and lock it fucking down…pantsless for Yahoo!

Posted in:Shay Mitchell

2015

16

Jan

Kelly Brook’s Bikini Ass of the Day

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If you’ve ever got drunk with professional Irish Rugby Players, you will know that Kelly Brook is a fucking joke amongst the league…apparently, she’s a Rugby groupie and has fucked all kinds of Rugby players over the course of her whoring…..and they just go off, even showing you nude pics of her that are passed around the league, laughing about how fat she is….I mean they just think her move to America is as silly as anyone who knows who Kelly Brook is, because she’s not that hot, she’s hopeless, her acting career probably won’t happen…she’s just too old…and as much as she tries…she just doesn’t have it, but she does have tits, big tits, and tits is all that people care about…

I guess she’s trying to curve that interest to her ass…because it is the fat ass era…I mean that’s how I explain this selfie…

What I can’t explain is why I just analyzed her selfie…

Posted in:Kelly Brook

2015

16

Jan

Kate Beckinsale’s Skinny Bra of the Day

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Her name is Kate Beckinsale…and the people who love her…absolutely love her…it’s like they saw her in some low level movie called Underworld, and their virgin socially awkward loser instincts took over and decided she was a girl they would love until the end of time….

Since I am not a virgin loser, I am someone with a virgin loser job, I mean blogging about these idiots is fucking lame…more lame than being these idiots…but funny enough…I am more about hating everything obsessively, that obsessing over bullshit like videogames, nerd shit, sci/fi fantasy and the girls who market themselves to that…

But I do know who she is, because she’s a single mom, her daughter is probably 18 now, and she still looks like that…and for someone from the UK…that’s just a freak of fucking nature…

So here’s a shitty intentional see-through…that is hardly a see-through…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kate Beckinsale

2015

16

Jan

Jodie Marsh is Amazing of the Day

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Her name is Jodie Marsh, she was a UK Glamour model when UK Glamour models thought they mattered, and I assume they still think they matter, but clearly they don’t matter, but they do have big silly fake novelty tits…we call them clown tits…and cheesy fucking tattoos and horrible leathery tanned skins…that screams she either was a man, or a stripper, but was neither….but for some reason, I am all about this…I think it’s hilarious, like she obviously knows she’s not hot, and is just a caricature of something hot, and that in and of itself makes her amazing…

TO SEE HER PAPARAZZI BIKINI
CLICK HERE

Posted in:Jodie Marsh

2015

16

Jan

Jessica Lowndes Still in Selfie Bikini Shoots of the Day

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Canadiana trying really hard to be famous because she got a Work Visa and even work in America, on a TV show, that may not have been a really successful TV show, but was still a fucking TV show, and that’s better than anything any other Canadian has done, except maybe Mike Myers, Pam Anderon, Jim Carey, Donald Sutherland, and The Rolling Stones…

She’s managed to figured out, or just not accept that she’s a one hit wonder, and that she may never end up on TV again, which is OK, since the younger kids don’t watch TV, they watch social media…and what people love on Social Media, because we are all exhibitionists…is bikini pics…self shot bikini photoshoots…

I mean she bought the tits with her 90210 money, she’s on that stripper level of attention seeking and she might as well use them….

That looks like John Lovitz…Go Canada.

Posted in:Jessica Lowndes

2015

16

Jan

Natasha Galinka is a Babe of the Day

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Her name is Natasha Galinka and she’s a Russian goddess…but maybe I am just saying that because I have a Russian girl fetish…I like everything they represent….and every Russian girl I’ve met has been pretty straight up about and cold about our “relationship”…and what it represented to them….

I remember Natasha from America’s Next Top model, I had an 18 year old girl who used to make me watch it with her…then she’d give me blowjobs…while her dad was asleep in the other room…it was 2008…a simpler time…

Either way…Natasha was was robbed by some hispanic girl, because first generation hispanic girls are insane, their fan base insane and passionate about all things hispanic….and recently green carded Americans from Russia become a target…if they let her win, it would have been some gold war shit…but I guess she’s still around…and she’s doing hot pics….and in a lot of ways…I feel like the winner in all this is you….because you can jerk off to her.

Posted in:Natasha Galinka

2015

16

Jan

Kendall Jenner is a Columinst for the Wall Street Journal of the Day

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When the Wall Street Journal hires Kendall Jenner as a correspondent, you know that the nail is finally in the coffin of media, and that we’ve all gone down the clickback, instagram celebrity, road of what is relevant…

The media has always been dictated by the advertisers, but when you have to hire a bootleg Kardashian, raised by the vapid whore family…as the voice of a generation…even though kids her generation hate her and what she represents…it’s almost as bad as putting her fat sister on the cover of Vogue, instead of some import car magazine she belongs on…

This is what Kendall and her hired Ghost writer had to say:

“I feel like I grew up too fast a long time ago. Having older siblings, you grow up around adults, so you mature more quickly. I saw my sisters and parents working every day, so I was pretty much brought up to be a workaholic. But I just turned 19 a couple weeks ago, and I’m scared to be 20—it’s the first step out of being a teenager.”

Here are her being the social influencer that WSJ wants as part of their team to get some level of relevance…..Instead of breaking important fucking stories..

Garbage..

Here are some old pics of her because why the fuck not…

Posted in:Kendall Jenner

2015

16

Jan

Iza Goulart’s Fitness Porn of the Day

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A video posted by Izabel Goulart (@iza_goulart) on Jan 13, 2015 at 1:29pm PST

Iza Goulart is the master of fitness porn…you know exhibitionist videos for her instagram showing off just how fit, ripped and amazing she is….almost giving me a boner, even though my boner is broken, because strong women excite me, especially when they are lingerie models…

I guess she does this to show the haters who call her too skinny, that she works out everyday to justify the millions she makes, while Brazilians around her are dying from poverty…you know to ease her guilty conscious…

Or maybe, it’s just a fetish she knows guys get off to…and she likes the views it gets…it makes her feel more than just a half naked model..she now has an actual purpose…

Either way, it’s good….makes me want to get arrested for jerking off at the gym…but girls at my gym…never look like this..

Posted in:Iza Goulart

2015

16

Jan

Critics Choice Awards of the Day

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I think it is safe to say that there are not enough awards celebrating people who have already won.

You know the majority of these actors work 20 weeks a year…and the rest of the time, they’ve got very little to do…

So why not dress up, get your hair and make-up done, and pretend you’re important…or whatever…because thanks to whatever scam you’ve pulled off…the general public thinks that you are…and with nonsense like this…they just keep fucking encouraging you and telling yo you that you’ve done right, you’ve done good, that your role in some bullshit made up movie inspired some kid to beat cancer…you useless fucking distraction from the real problems…because everyone wants to be famous…except me..

Here’s a round up of the pics featuring Leslie Mann, Jen Aniston, Genesis Rodriguez and Angelina Jolie…