DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2014

08

Dec

Edita Vilkeviciute Topless for SSAW Magazine of the DAy

Edita Vilkeviciute is a Victoria’s Secret model who is clearly capable of posing in amazing nudes, like in these pics by Hasse Nielsen, but who is totally misused by the brands, because they don’t see a good set of tits, willing to be exposed for money, when they are staring them in the face, mainly because America is still very Christian, uptight and more into violence than sex….but at least Edita Vilkeviciute stays true to her roots by doing things like this…otherwise I could never imagine sucking her tits like she was my mom….something I don’t actual do, but love telling girls I do, especially while sucking their tits like they were my mom, because it upsets them.

Posted in:Edita Vilkeviciute

2014

08

Dec

Kendall Jenner for Love Magazine’s Advent Calendar of the Day

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Kendall Jenner’s christmas in lingerie dancing to shitty music for THE LOVE MAGAZINE ADVENT CALENDAR …that you know they don’t give a fuck about casting Kendall Jenner, other than the fact that she’s super fucking famous and that she will market the fuck out of this Santa in lingerie performance, because it adds legitimacy to her modelling career, and legitimacy is all she craves, seeing as for the rest of her life she will always be in the shadow of her sister’s fat ass, because her ass is so fucking big, she can’t help it, and because…that’s just what her career is based on…even if she has a different name….

All this to say, I’ll watch any 18+ year old dancing sexy for Christmas, because I like to think that’s what Christmas is all about….the sex.

Isn’t that what it says in the bible? When you realize that Mary wasn’t a virgin and that Jesus is in fact a bastard baby porn in a shed…

Not that it matters…because nothing matters…especially not this..

Posted in:Kendall Jenner

2014

08

Dec

I’m Dreaming of an Emily Ratajkowski Filled Christmas of the Day

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I am pretty sure I posted the pictures from this Holiday shoot for Yamamay Lingerie, who probably paid Emily Ratajkowski over 100,000 dollars to participate in the shit, even though she’s not tall enough to be a model, but she’s relevant enough to get the pay day, because thanks to the interent posting all her nude pics, and people being responsive to those nude pics, she’s made it.

So girls, don’t be scared of nude pics, look at what nude pics do for Emily Ratajkowski…

And Emily Ratajkowski….is no longer Emily Rat Cow…because I get her hustle and after meeting her at Art Basel, I felt like she was actually good people…and her face was far less bird-like or offensive, and her lips looked far less fake, and her short little body was short enough to feel like in a lot of ways, her scam worked and that she probably doesn’t deserve what she’s got, but she’s got it, so good for her for pulling it off…and those tits….well they are just awesome…so there you have it, if you’re nice to me when I meet you, I stop hating. Maybe I do have a soul

Posted in:Emily Ratajkowski

2014

08

Dec

Nicky Hilton Miami Beach Bikini of the Day

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I made friends with a paparazzi on South Beach and he told me that no one gives a fuck about Nicky Hilton….he said she can walk around topless or in bikini and no one will fucking notice her…or even care if they do see her…to which I said that no one has ever given a fuck about Nicky Hilton, she was just the whore’s sister, who fucked around with her enough to be a bit of a name, but who never really mattered and still doesn’t matter…because of zero personality….which was about the point I realized I’ve been doing this shit too long…I should have zero opinion on Nicky Hilton or how legit she is….but then when I see her uninteresting ass…I can’t turn away…I’m so torn as a man….

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Nicky Hilton

2014

08

Dec

Ariana Grande’s Deleted Instagram Pic of the Day

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The rumor is that Ariana Grande posted this picture on her social media and then deleted it because it was too racy and her team probably made her do it, unless of course it was all a strategic play to rope in some foot fetishist, which apparently are a very loyal group, who buy albums and concert tickets and merch for the right foot…or heels…or to have a really easy to market story for a sleepy monday because all press is good press….like all pics of legs in heels are good pics…even if the legs are sloppy and disgusting…because I find anything and everything looking at, even if it’s a waste of time, since everything is a waste of time….see how philosophical I am….

Posted in:Ariana Grande

2014

08

Dec

Diora Baird Underboob of the Day

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Diora Baird is some 31 year old actress from Florida, who moved to LA and had her big break while working as a clown at Kids parties, a lot like a pedophile I once knew, who ended up getting arrested working as a clown at kids parties, which is pretty much the same as fame…

She ended up doing Playboy, and other movies like the remake of Texas Chainsaw Masssacre…and now she’s posting bikini pics on the internet with a boy I cropped out, because I am not into underboob and toddlers, who I assume is her son, because why the fuck else would she be busting out her tits with some little kid…unless of course she’s still got the kids’ party clown in her…

Either way, tits and bikini.

Posted in:Diora Baird

2014

08

Dec

Cameron Diaz Face of the Day

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Whenever you are feeling down and out…maybe a little confused and like your life has gone to shit…because your life is shit…you can always just do what I do…and look at Cameron Diaz’s recently engaged cunt face…looking like a melting pile of shit that’s done more coke than it’s done cock, and then ask yourself why her boxy menopausal body is still getting cast as the babe in romantic comedies….is it because only 40 year old divorcees watch that shit? Or is it because she’s got a good scam going on and has fucked the right decision makers…or does it have to do with Hollywood totally losing touch of reality and aging with the talent…instead of keeping things current…who knows really….what I do know…is that her face…and whatever is going on with it…is jokes…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Cameron Diaz

2014

08

Dec

Nina Agdal is a Monster Doing a Photoshoot of the Day

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I saw Nina Agdal at one of these Miami parties, she was probably a foot away from me, but figured I wouldn’t tell her who I was, because obviously she knows the site, it’s a big deal, and I target her as one of the overrated models I make fun of…

Turns out that I am right, because I am always right, and she is totally overrated, and making fun of her is totally justified, because her and her downs syndrome face…are also attached to a massive body, all big, awkward, not sexy at all, bitch faced twat, who thinks she’s a big fucking deal as she runs around drunk like some kind of a-lister…because her boyfriends are rich and I guess she’s living the celebrity life, which is better than being back in Denmark….where she belongs…right.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Nina Agdal

2014

08

Dec

Jena Malone in a Bikini of the Day

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Jena Malone is one of the hundreds of models and actresses who didn’t ask me to have lunch with them during Art Basel…because they were too busy staging bikini photoshoots for the paparazzi because that’s what people do in Miami when they hit the beaches instead of the more private hotel pools…or beaches north of South Beach…

Not that I care about having lunch with Jena Malone. I don’t even really know who the fuck she is. But I do care about staring at her ass in a bikini, because I care about staring at all girl asses in bikinis…it’s kind of my thing…even when the girl in the bikini is garbage…a no name and even a tranny – I don’t really discriminate…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Jena Malone

2014

08

Dec

Lana Del Rey Panty Flash for Galore of the Day

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I drank the Galore Magazine party open bar dry the other night in Miami. Lana Del Rey wasn’t at the event, and no one was particularly nice to me because I guess I make fun of their models, while giving them free press, since I have a lot more traffic then they do, I just don’t have the cool factor that they have, and the it girls like Lana Del Rey don’t want to flash their panties at me…but who needs that approval, it requires sucking too much dick, it’s much better to be the abrasive asshole that I am, drinking open bar dry while telling the models I will make them famous, if they send me nude pics of themselves, which they all do…because that’s how the industry works….

All this to say, Lana Del Rey isn’t hot and unless these pics were her sex scene or her Eli Roth / Marilyn Manson rape scene , I’m not really interested…but I’ll post it anyway, I have nothing better to do, even though everything is better than this…especially staring at South Beach girls in bikinis…

Posted in:Lana Del Rey