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2014

09

Dec

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley for Harper’s Bazaar of the Day

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley is my favorite…not because she dates bald asshole rich actors in great shape…to trick bald guys into thinking they have a chance…which they don’t….

I just like that she’s got this classic look, maybe even a little snobby look, like she wouldn’t give me the time of day, even if I was her client on a job, because she’s above that…I’m into girls who hate me…

I also like that she gets naked when she doesn’t have to…

I don’t like that Harper’s Bazaar Neglected that skill of hers…

Assholes.

Posted in:Rosie Huntington-Whiteley

2014

09

Dec

Tegan Desmond for Novembre Magazine of the Day

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Her name is Tegan Desmond…which is a total fucking porn name…but is apparently an Australian model who gets topless name…which is actually porn to me…so it all makes sense my probably autistic mind….

You see Australians are all kind of on a porn kick. They get drunk, they scream at you with their trashy accents, they sound like some kind of pirate criminals trying to steal….but they are hot as fuck, at least until they turn 30, which is when the sun damage rapes their face, which is a year after I wish they raped my face…beach life baby…

Either way, here are her tits, by Nicolas Coulomb for some magazine..

Posted in:Tegan Desmond

2014

09

Dec

Alyssa Milano’s Thickness of the Day

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I don’t really know what is going on here, but Alyssa Milano is dressed like a fat girl at Comic Con, in a costume and all, like some kind of fantasy wizard princess girl from some faraway fantasy land, using her tits and corset to couter balance her obesity, all in efforts to make nerds everywhere cum their pants to feel better about their fat selves….

All this to say…she’s the one who needs some fucking magic potion to drop the pounds, but if you’re a tit guy – who can crop out the rest of her disgusting, or an ass guy who doesn’t care that this is a dumpy old ass filling up spanx….you will probably like this

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Alyssa Milano

2014

09

Dec

Hailey Baldwin for Love Magazine’s Advent Calendar of the Day

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Hailey Baldwin is one half Brazilian, one half Stephen Baldwin…and she’s also recently turned 18, so old enough to come out as Bieber’s girlfriend, not that she has yet, but that I assume she has or will because at 17, it made him a criminal and now it just makes her the fucking criminal for falling into his very uncool trap…but he’s still Beiber, and she’s still some rich girl who rolls with the Kardashian/Jenner sisters, who clearly doesn’t really get what’s going on, but is skinny enough to be cast as a model and connected enough for people to think she’s worth using as a model, because we all know if she was Hailey anything else, bitch would be working at the FroYo bar with all her other tween friends…and not doing lingerie Christmas for a fashion magazine….

Posted in:Hailey Baldwin

2014

09

Dec

Genevieve Morton for Galore of the Day

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Genevieve Morton and I became friends because I called her fat.

Proving that teasing the girl in the school yard because you want to bury your face in her huge tits and possibly cum inside her enough to knock her up and have her forever committed to you – all thanks to a lapse in judgement that made her forget she only likes billionaires, it’s a bikini model thing…makes them like you and it also motivates her to get in better shape so that people don’t call her fat.

Basically a win on all fronts.

Here she is from a shoot I didn’t see that dropped a few weeks ago for GALORE

Posted in:Genevieve Morton

2014

09

Dec

Karrueche Tran in Staged Paparazzi Pics of the Day

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Karrueche Tran is Chris Brown’s girlfriend, or ex girlfriend, or maybe she has nothing to do with Chris Brown…like the poor back-up dancer who was in a murder suicide thanks to her crazy fucking rapper boyfriend who apparently thought she was cheating on him and that’s enough reason to teach her a lesson by killing her than yourself, instead of doing what I do and ruining their life for years and years…it’s more effective than turning out the lights…either way…tragic…and I hope girls out there stop going after people for the wrong reasons, but instead go for them because they are nice….

Not that that has anything to do with Karrueche Tran, I mean other than she’s the girl who fucked Chris Brown, despite his abusiveness, like she was the girl who died, but that could have been a spun story by Rihanna’s camp, like she could have been the one slamming her face into the wall.

Either way, what a hot little body in this see through outfit…right…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Karrueche Tran

2014

09

Dec

Weird Green Pubic Hair in i-D’s Fashion Film of the Day

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Fashion….Art…bullshit excuse to put together some meaningless video with absolutely no storyline for pretentious assholes to pretend they understand the commentary the artist is making about the sate of the world…or love…or whatever….

I know artists and I know they are a scam and they just commit to their bullshit hard enough for the idiots around them to buy into it as some top tier next level thing….everyone is looking for what’s next…

And really, I am not a hater, since Art is the number one way to get girls to dye their pubic hair green and show their tits…which happens to be something I am very into …that I didn’t know I was previously into…

Posted in:Videos

2014

09

Dec

Chelsea Handler’s Ass on Instagram of the Day

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Chelsea Handler keeps on flashing her ass and tits – because she is no longer on TV and figures she can do whatever the fuck she wants – so why not make it little exhibitionist publicity stunts that involve her fake tits many people have already seen or her bare ass that is too old to really not be in a pair of SPANX, but that I guess she’s using to her advantage as some kind of comedic hook, or some bullshit…but I’m more into her rubbing her dirty cooch all over a park bench, and not because it’s unhygienic for her, I know her shit has seen some shit, but it’s unhygienic for the homeless guy who has to put his face on that later….

Her new name is Chelsea Handler – Dirtier than a Park Bench…

Posted in:Chelsea Handler

2014

09

Dec

Miley Cyrus Gets Cougared by Paris Hilton of the Day

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The story that really isn’t that interesting – is that Miley Cyrus was completely wasted during Art Basel – to the point where the Bathroom attendant wouldn’t let her into the hotel bathroom, or kicked her out of the hotel bathroom, before Miley snuck back in and locked herself in a stall with her friend, probably doing whatever drugs they could find…she’s a white trash millionaire…what the fuck do you expect…I mean roll through any trailer park in america and offer some toothless meth head a million dollars a month or more just for spending money and see what happens…

Now I don’t know who was locked in the stall with her, I don’t know what drugs they were doing, but it must have been luxurious, you know seeing as you have to lock yourself in a public piss covered toilet to do it…but the rumor that is obvious but still funny, is that Paris Hilton was all over he all night, probably trying to eat her pussy hoping it would give her powers, youth and relevance…or maybe Paris is just a dirtbag brat who fucks everything she likes…but more likely, she’s just more into associating with what she thinks is important…

Who cares…well I guess it seems like I do…

Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2014

09

Dec

Diana Moldovan Titties for Vogue Brazil of the Day

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Apparently this Diana Moldovan is some Romanian model, who I guess got out of the family Gypsy business and became a model…because that’s the only options when you’re a Romanian…and thank god for that, because being from a poor, war torn communist country…and given a taste of the most luxurious life…you become very willing to get naked for your photographer, or really do anything he says, so that you don’t get deported and can still make you 10,000 – 100,000 dollars a day.

I’ve never heard of her, but in my defence, I’m an idiot who has no idea what’s current…or relevant…I just see tits and say to myself “this matters enough, I’m gonna post it”…is this internet journalism? Am I a hack? Or maybe I’m a prophet sent here to bring you model tits…I don’t fucking know…I just know these are the pics..

Posted in:Diana Moldovan