DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2014

27

Aug

Liv Tyler Ibiza Bikini of the Day

Liv Tyler was in Ibiza…on a yacht…because she was an unwanted rockstar daughter, who was lost, but then she was found, given tons of money to make-up for guilt and lost time, thanks to her whore groupie mom, before being sold off to modeling agencies and talent agencies to live out her dreams…because when your dad fronts Aerosmith, even if he doesn’t like the acknowlege being your dad…opportunities happen…

She’s old, I didn’t like her when she was an “it girl”…but I do think Daddy issues are cute enough for me to want to buy her used bikini on ebay, if she’s sellin’ it…

But then again, I’d buy anyone’s used bikini off ebay…if only I wasn’t broke.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Liv Tyler

2014

27

Aug

Hailey Clauson for Vogue Spain of the Day

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I’ve heard that Hailey Clauson is some fat hipster wannabe Kate Upton…that in person she’s some kind of monster, all big and scary, looking like she’s out to eat her way out of everything….but I don’t really see it….

I just see tits on a girl who had the balls to sue Urban Outfitters when she was 17 for sexualizing her, in some strategic publicity stunt that I guess worked, even though if I was a brand, I’d never hire her…she’s a liability.

She’s booked Vogue Spain, making moves and I guess a legit model…and I don’t really care because she’s not naked like she’s supposed to be…and when they aren’t naked…they don’t matter.

Posted in:Hailey Clauson

2014

27

Aug

Selena Gomez Dance Off of the Day

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Selena Gomez is dancing in a bra top, in her car, showing off her fake tits because that’s why she got them, even if they are smaller than most fake tits, they still have the same impact and effect on a girl who get’s them mind….

I have been with countless fake tit girls and all loved showing them off, letting you touch, or staging dance-offs as the new challenge to take the internet by storm…turning the entire world into one horrible high school class…filled with the famous, overly positive cheerleaders…and luckily ample autistic school shooters….

TO SEE PICS OF HER HIDING HER FACE BECAUSE SHE’S DRAMAIC CLICK HERE

Posted in:Selena Gomez

2014

27

Aug

Alena Blohm in LOU Lingerie of the Day

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Alena Blohm has ruined all the other girls for me.

I have officially broken up with all my imaginary model girlfriends, who don’t know I exist, so that I can focus my love on her.

I feel like when you see God…or the closest thing to God…you must fully commit to the cause – even if it doesn’t see you back, because the power of the universe will draw her to you…

This is the closest thing I’ve ever had to a spiritual experience, only with more half nakedness that makes me focus on her genital..and my intense interest in suffocating on them…

Serious fucking babe.

Posted in:Alena Blohm

2014

27

Aug

Alessandra Ambrosio for Vogue Brazil of the Day

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Alessandra Ambrosio was part of this Brazilian photoshoot that took place during the Worldcup, which I assume is the only time she goes back to Brazil, you know because she is contractually obliged to make an appearance for her people…and she took it to the streets, where she gutter ratchet – chola herself up…despite being totally so far removed from the streets of Brazil, that this is almost mocking all the poverty with her silly posing, living the glamourous millionaire model life…

I like how they threw the gutter kids in…nice touch.

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio

2014

27

Aug

J.Lo and Iggy Azalea Compare Photoshopped Booty of the Day

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Here is an artist rendition of J.Lo and Iggy Azalea made by what I assume is either some well paid staffer or a creepy fan, who really feels like showing the world that his big booty babes are actually lean, round assed, brozed godesses, instead of like the dumpy pig fucks that they are.

It’s like these pictures are a collective 50 pounds lighter than the original photo of the 300 year old J.Lo and her younger fat ass cohort she’s obviously partnering up with, because den mother knows how to stay relevant and to alpha the younger cunts trying to move in.

She is the period that all the other periods in the room sync up to…

I don’t think this can legally be called a picture…because it’s 95 percent CGI. Like a police sketch, only in this case, we are all the victims.

Posted in:J.Lo

2014

27

Aug

Bai Ling’s Ice Bucket Challenge of the Day

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Bai Ling is the original BAE……

Bai Ling is 50 years old…but like all Asians, especially the ones who work at the convenience store by my house, are still totally worth fucking as they spend their family fortunes living lives of luxury in the Western world, but always willing to give a handjob for 50 dollars or less….it’s a cultural thing…

She was the Original Courtney Stodden, or equivalent fame whore, who never really did anything specifically, but who always walked the red carpets…pulled out tits…and got herself noticed for the tabloids…but no one knew why she existed.

I liked to think she was a thai tranny hooker who did well for herself and made it in America….because she’s not home working the sweatshops

She is more likely a rich kid from China doing nothing in America..but publicity stunts no one really notices, involving hard nipples, white t-shirts, ALS, and water….

I’m so into this..dumpling filled with crazy…that was a Chinese food reference…I’m feeling clever today.

Posted in:Bai Ling

2014

27

Aug

Police Disturbing Dude Getting Head…and Other Videos of the Day

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Bus Driver

Wolves get Cuddles from People…

Fuck Her Right in the Pussy Lives….

Shit Bucket Challenge.

Fishy Freeway

Homeless Dog Gets Saved!

Posted in:Videos

2014

27

Aug

DrunkenStepfather Trailer Park Boys Giveaway of the Day

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The Trailer Park Boys are a hometown favorite. You know, Canadian white trash idiots showing the rest of the world what Canada looks like, and acts like, making everyone think that all Canadians are like the trailer park boys…I guess making a mockery of us…and I guess doing a lot better at it than me…

People love their shit…they’ve never asked me to be on their shit…but they did offer you guys tickets to their premiere of their new movies and since I never give you assholes anything, I figured I would post this – giving you the option to go to the premiere.

All you have to do is comment or email me at info (at) drunkenstepfather.com.

Here are the details…

Giveaway: Must be a US resident / 2 tickets to LA (Sept 3rd) or NY (Sept 12)
Leave a COMMENT in the DS posting about the TRAILER to enter

Sept 3rd – LA premiere + after party of “Swearnet”
Sept 5th – Netflix premiere of “Trailer Park Boys” season 8
Sept 12th – Nationwide release of “Swearnet”

The Trailer Park Boys are one of the most successful Canadian comedy exports EVER, but in Swearnet, when they lose the rights to the Trailer Park Boys franchise, they find themselves being just out-of-work actors, struggling to pay the bills. In the wake of losing a coveted TV network deal, the guys stage an all-in comeback by launching Swearnet.com (a real life active web channel), a balls-out, offensively extreme internet channel that is complicated by their post- fame lives, at-odds relationships and trademark hilarious hedonism.

Posted in:Giveaway

2014

27

Aug

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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I have a new fetish…

Telling girls that I am going to mould them to be a blow up doll, and having them fall for it and agree to cover up in plastic wrap…

It’s surprisingly very fulfilling…

Here are some morning links…

Anais Zanotti Big Ass in a Bikini
GO

Paula Patton’s See Through Dress
GO

Jennifer Lopez and Iggy Azalea Photoshopped to Shit Pic
GO

17 Hilarious Cakes from Doomed Relationships
GO

Lonely Kids Waiting for School Buses…for the Creepers
GO

How Cherries are Harvested…
GO

Suge Knight Ain’t Talkin…
GO

Teens React to Drunk Driving
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14 Ways to Take Hide and Seek to the Next Level
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The Weirdest Performance Art..
GO

Bella Thorne is a Young Hot Babe
GO

Miley’s VMA Date Wasn’t Even Homeless
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS