DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2014

23

Jul

Jennette McCurdy Slutty for Instagram of the Day

I don’t know who Jennette McCurdy is. I’ve seen her fucked up face around the last little while and the only thing interesting about her is that she posts slutty pics to her instagram for attention – which are a lot better when her face is cropped out of it…

Her captions are pretty genius…

#nofilter #datass #fapfapfap #eww #boysaregross

The triple FAP…screams “I’m a child star on a kid’s show trying to break free from that by being slutty and an exhibitionist thanks to having a stage mom who taught me how to whore when I was young, cuz if you look at my face, you’ll see I have no business being anywhere near a camera…unless it’s for porn!”….

I like it…

Posted in:Jennette McCurdy

2014

23

Jul

Hilary Duff’s Bed Summersault of the Day

No Comments »

Scientologist Hilary Duff posted this video of her “waking up”…that I assume was meant to be cute and funny…you know inviting us into her home to watch her get out of bed and start her day…only to disappoint because her summersaults in and out of the bed…are fully clothed…in jeans…I mean…make this exact same video in skimpy panties and we’re onto something…doing it like this is just plane dumb….but probably still a fetish to at least one of you weirdos…

Posted in:Hilary Duff

2014

23

Jul

Selena Gomez in a See Through Bathing Suit with Implied Lesbianism of the Day

1 Comment »

Doing what I do, I realize that there are far more important things going on in the world – than just this celebrity gossip, who is dating who, smoke and mirror bullshit people care about because it’s shoved down their throats and they are trained to care about it…

You know instead of trying to make yourself famous, or to make a difference, or to make money to live like you’re famous…you’re obsessing over Selena Gomez turning 22…

THere are real issues going on…

So when my friend MADE THIS TOP 10 SELENA GOMEZ BIRTHDAY BIKINI AND 10 THINGS YOU SHOULD CARE ABOUT MORE …I was happy to see, I am not alone in hating celebrity, finding celebrity a vapid group of retards that produce shitty content and that divert from real issues in life…to focus on their spoiled brat luxuries…

The uprising is now…just as soon as I’m done staring at her little implants in a sheer bathing suit…unfortunately the highlight of my day…because I don’t need to worry about worldly issue or my own success when I can just stare at 22 year old hard nipples in a white bathing suit – reminding me of the time my friends sister was in a white bathing suit at their pool and she was walking around unaware that it was see through…showing us all her nice inny pussy…giving me something to jerk off to all through high school…leading to my love of all things white bikini….

Here she is showering for the paparazzi with Cara Delevingne…

TO SEE SOME THAT TOP 10 a href=”http://famousmisfortune.com/index.php/2014/07/23/top-ten-selenas-22nd/” target=”_blank”> CLICK HERE

Posted in:Selena Gomez

2014

23

Jul

Irina Shayk Flashing Pany of the Day

No Comments »

Irina Shayk was on Extra or some other low level show that is desperate to talk to any and all low level famous people because they are on 5 days a week and no A-Listers really participate in their bullshit…not that I really know what Extra is up to, I hate that shit. I just know that Maria Menounos’s anal loving Greek ass isn’t on it anymore, now it’s just Saved by the Bell’s Mario Lopez…which makes sense because hispanics in their 40s are probably the demographic of the show anyway..

That said, Irina flahsed panties, because if you’re going to be on TV, do your best to get noticed, it was just 5 years ago she was a Russian girl who had dreams of America…flashing panties for 4 dollars an hour…this isn’t much of struggle or stretch for her…if anything her whole career is based on panties..and getting that career..also based on panties…so I guess it’s just falling into place and reminding girls everywhere…show your panties…starting today, by emailing me…

So much white…not very period friendly…risky….I like it.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Here are her feet for the foot fetishists

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Irina Shayk

2014

23

Jul

Hana Jirickova for Vogue Russia of the Day

No Comments »

Her name is Hana Jirickova …she is a Czech model. Her biggest flaw in being Czech is that unlike other Czech girls…she’s not shooing porn for 100 dollars a scene. I am talking some of the most incredible looking girls who are making very little money to fuck on camera are Czech…yet this one has gone off to do Vogue…but at least she’s showing some nipple, because without nipple I would feel as though she completely lost touch with her hooker roots…

That said, she’s pretty fucking perfect and I am in love…like I am with all these girls…because I am easy to please thanks to my fat wife ruining women for me, before realizing if I detach myself from hating her, her disgustingness has made me love all women…one of those they are all better than her…she is the problem…save me…situations…

Posted in:Hana Jirickova

2014

23

Jul

Lindsay Lohan’s Selfies of the Day

No Comments »

Lindsay Lohan posted a couple of selfies that no one really cares about…because she’s Lindsay Lohan…and doesn’t really matter..

She’s expired. You know once a great thing, then an interesting thing to watch crash and burn and fade into obscurity, only to make the occasional re-entry, each time with less star power than before…because the world is a fast moving place…

Sure sometimes, when the scandal is hot enough, the tits are exposed, the sex tape is released, or she dies, we’ll stop to look…

But to track her like this was 8 years ago and celebrity internet blogging was new and exciting, and Lohan was the focal point, is just not ever going to happen again…but I’ll keep on looking every once in a while – because I believe she can turn it around…and win an oscar…if she wasn’t such a horrible fucking person…

Not because I care her new boyfriend is named “Philip” and she was kissing him on a yacht…or because I ever liked any of her movies…but because…#tits.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2014

23

Jul

Naya Rivera Gets Married Whole Lea Michele SHows Her Nipple of the Day

No Comments »

So I posted these Lea Michele pictures yesterday, but because I don’t give a fuck about Lea Michele or her weirdo face that should have never been on TV, even if it can sing, but should have just been on the audio track while an actual babe sang…so I didn’t go through every single one to see if there was a fucking nipple in it…

While there’s a nipple in it…but it’s hardly a good nipple…because it’s set next to her weirdo face…that I hate…

It’s like how can I want to suck on something when my eyes can’t help buy focus on that flawed facial structure…my brain wondering how that happened…genetically…when it should be thinking nipple…

In other news, Naya Rivera married her rebound co-star from Glee who I assume needed a Green Card…after dating him for 3 months to show her fiancé “Big Sean” that once you go black you can go back…and more importantly…that their love wasn’t real as he was off fucking sluts in every city….

I think I just reported my first news story…I’m getting the hang of this…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE BIKINI PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Lea Michele

2014

23

Jul

Horrible Twerk Video of the Day

No Comments »

I don’t know when this was shot. I don’t know if it has already gone viral. I just know it exists…and it is fucking horrible…the kind of thing I would erase from my memory, because there is so much better noise to fill my brain with…but at the same time…it’s pretty fucking awesome…in the worst way possible…

Posted in:Videos

2014

23

Jul

Adriana Lima and the List of Models for the Pirelli Calendar of the Day

No Comments »

Pirelli has been putting out these calendars every year for the last 100 years – that feature top models half naked posing with tires, shot by the top photographers – because tires and luxury fashion may not go hand in hand…but dudes who like tires like topless models…and models always look better when shot by good photographers…so it may not make that much sense, they are Italian…they don’t need to make sense..especially when they’ve proven to work…

That said, Pirelli’s 2015 Calendar will be shot by Steven Meisel.

Vanity Fair Italia, released the cast and crew of the Calendar – including Isabeli Fontana , Candice Huffine, Adriana Lima , Karen Elson, Gigi Hadid , Sasha Luss , Joan Smalls, Raquel Zimmermann and Natalia Vodianova . The theme of fetish with latex and corsets. Works for me..

I’ve stared at least all of those models topless for fashion at least once before…except Candice Huffine – she’s plus sized and we want none of that…

But I guess this is for a Calendar…an obsolete form of date tracking…it’s called a fucking iPhone..

Where’s the Pirelli calendar app? That’s what the people want…none of this hang on your garage nonsense…

Posted in:Adriana Lima

2014

23

Jul

Martha Hunt for Seafolly of the Day

No Comments »

I fell in love with Martha Hunt back in MAY…when she did this TOPLESS PHOTOSHOOT …but then I forgot she existed…until today…when it all came back to me…

You see these bitches are all interchangeable. There are so many of them. We are so over-exposed that they all kind of blend into each other to the point where their names don’t matter…they don’t matter…their tits don’t even matter…but I’ll still look at them…and pretend I care…as they sell bikinis…for some random ass brand….

Posted in:Martha Hunt