DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2014

10

Jun

Josephine Skriver’s Topless for Porter of the Day

Josephine Skriver is a model who got naked in PORTER magazine…but didn’t show her nipples because that is probably against her Victoria’s Secret contract, seeing as she walked their show last year, and that shit is a model’s dream…that you don’t want to throw away…because you’re who life depends on it, I mean even your dating life, because when you work for Victoria’s Secret, they decide everything for you…it’s part of protecting a billion dollar brand’s image,

That said, Porter Magazine, is not a fashion magazine, it is basically a catalog disguised as a fashion magazine for an online retailer…and I guess topless is OK for them, but nipples, that shit can offend their Christian market and doesn’t drive sales of vintage clothing, but I guess topless still happened, even if I don’t consider a bitch toppless unless my dick is between her tits…but that’s just me.

I guess the biggest story to know about her is that her mom is a Lesbian, which I assume means she’s good at eating ass..bonus!

Posted in:Josephine Skriver

2014

10

Jun

Nicki Minaj Topless in Pills and Potion Video of the Day

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Nicki Minaj may be a phoney clown who tried to scale back on the clown- in efforts to be considered a legitimate artist, and she did that by pulling back not he clown make-up lady gaga nonsense, and when with a more natural look, that allowed her to focus on what matters, her big tits, that she shows off every chance she gets…you see because when you get naked, no one gives a fuck about your past nonsense, I mean they don’t even care if your song is good, if the video involves a series of clips of her hiding her nipples, hand bra-ing them shits, when they aren’t nipple taped, we can mute and focus on that…

I mean whatever is going on here is better than any of her old shit that was a pawn to make a lot of people a lot of money…and I guess she’s still making people a lot of money, since all I see is Beats by Dre product placement…so this is a song about a mobile speaker shaped like a pill with bluetooth capabilities…sick…one giant ad filled with tits..

Who cares. It’s happening in our pop culture…Weird.

Posted in:Nicki Minaj

2014

10

Jun

Kelly Cunningham Naked Polaroids for Joris Zvaal of the Day

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Kelly Cunningham is a useless bottle service caliber nude mode just trying to get famous and here she is nude for a photographer I’ve never heard of named Joris Zvaal…I googled him and couldn’t find much…but he’s ok – even though he made me take down the pics because Kelly Cunningham doesn’t understand if you get naked on the internet and you pretend to be a model…you end up on this site….

The fact is that I’ve posted every girl before she was famous since I started and girls like EMILY RAT-COW used to tip me off on pics as they came out…because everyone in Hollywood reads this fucking site you dumb bitch…

You can see the pics:

HERE
HERE
HERE
HERE

Now I don’t really know who Kelly Cunningham is, and either does she, but I’ve seen her naked before…and she could be Emma Roberts’ mom, since that is Emma Roberts’ mom’s name…but I have a weird suspicion that she’s not..she’s likely just another fame whore trying to get famous who can’t afford criticism because she is already so broken – hence why she wants fame.

One thing I do know, and that I am certain of, is that she’s got a hipster bush, which to me is all it takes to make her matter…in my eyes. I love bush. I live for bush. My first logo for the site in 2004, back when Kelly’s daddy issues were just budding….was bush.

I’m a veteran at the shit…Sure guys I know hate bush, and most girls I know hate bush, but there’s something totally natural about bush, that reminds me a girl isn’t trying to hard to be all dolled up like a Kardashian or a Jersey Shore girl, cuz pubic hair adds some flavor and smells, and a whole lot of personality and more importantly, something to braid my beard into when it comes to pussy…

So to that I say: #savethebush

It’s just too bad that the girls who are saving the bush are all misguided feminists and I am their enemy for calling them out on being no better than a worthless porn slut getting fucked up the ass for 1000 dollars…you’re the same attention seeker…filling a void…

Now I am sorry that when Kelly reads my posts, she sees everything she hates about herself. You know a girl resorting to getting naked to try to get ahead. A fake feminist who is uneducated and doens’t know what’s up. Hoping one day she’ll get cast as Barista #5 in next season’s GIRLS….it’s her big break…that or writing a piece for Jezebel or Thought Catalog on the feministic traits of a girl who sucks dick to get ahead when not getting naked…because naked is feminist for embracing her body…not seeking male attention…like I see….

Maybe my site is junk food and she objects to being served at McDonalds, because she asked me to take down the pics but she’s not prime rib….unless VOGUE is CASTING the September issue at whatever retail outlet this trash works at…you probably won’t be seeing much of her ever…

SEE THE PICS
HERE
HERE
HERE
HERE

I tease you to make you stronger!

Posted in:Kelly Cunningham

2014

10

Jun

Kino is the Yoga Girl of the Day

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Kino is a Yoga girl who posts hundreds of videos of her doing yoga that no one really watches, but that I am glad I found because it turns out watching girls do yoga is pretty fucking erotic…

I would probably already know that if I got off my ass and joined a little hot YOGA class like a normal pervert who understands hot yoga is filled with aspiring skinny girls who want to be able to bend and gay dudes…leading to pussy in your face, and great opportunity to leverage into pussy in your bed…

Sure, the only problem with Yoga girls is having to listen to them talk about Yoga ,which I guess is what makes these videos are tolerable, cuz you can mute them and don’t have to listen to her planning her next Costa Rican Yoga retreat…cuz clearly she takes this shit seriously…when really the only good thing about it is that she can lick your balls when fucking her doggy style…

Either way, She’s insane…

Posted in:Videos

2014

10

Jun

Abby Brothers Naked for Brooke Frederick of the Day

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Her name is Abby Brothers, she’s a model who has been around for a while. I’m sure I’ve posted on her in the past but can’t really be bothered to figure out where…because ultimately, it doesn’t matter…because I’m staring at her tits and when that happens nothing else matters….she’s amazing, and right now the only thing I can fixate on, don’t talk to me…I’m trying to focus here.

The great, fun, amazing, inspiring, semi erotic pics of Abby Brothers and her topless friends were taken from some photographic genius because she gets girls naked together named BROOKE FREDRICK ….I’ve never heard of her before, but I have got a boner looking at at least one of the pictures which I guess makes us life long friends..

I don’t know the contact of this shit, I just know it’s good and both people are affiliated with my friend Vivianne …who I plan on having a slumber party where I try to recreate this photoshoot in my basement apartment when she’s in Montreal next week…cuz that’s just the kind of friend I am…

Here are the pics…

Posted in:Abby Brothers

2014

10

Jun

Raquel Zimmermann by Henrique Gendre of the Day

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Raquel Zimmermann is a Brazilian model….she’s over 30, which I guess means she’s dead and communicating with us through Ouija board, and by Ouija board I mean tit pics, because tit pics, bring any tired slag back to life, even if her tits aren’t that great, especially when those tits are model tits, because I guess 31 isn’t too old for it to be weird to look at, before being so old that it is ok to look at…I guess it’s one of those as long as she doesn’t have kids she can carry herself into her 40s gracefully, if taking nude pics is considered graceful, which to me it is, since that’s the only thing I am into these days, all that celebrity bullshit, red carpet bullshit always loses to a nice nude photoshoot…I guess I am hug concept and artistic like that…or maybe I just like tits…

I’ve POSTED HER TITS BEFORE, SHE’S NOT NEW TO THIS

THe photographer’s name is HENRIQUE GENDRE and he makes an old star model…seem worthy again…even if you have to focus only on the nipple to appreciate it …good job.

Posted in:Raquel Zimmermann

2014

10

Jun

Kait Schram for American Apparel of the Day

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I generally don’t love giving companies free exposure, but I doubt me celebrating one of the American Apparel models they probably pulled out of their store to get naked and throw in a campaign is really going to have any impact on their overall sales – it is just showing support to a brand that doesn’t support me….however I do it for the girls…

The fact is this Kait Schram may be a nobody hipster who has probably booked a few decent hipster campaigns, that she did for free…but she’s getting slutty and naked for some creeper…for no real reason…other than having nothing to do…and that in and of itself…is worth celebrating..if posting pics of hipster tits is really considered celebrating…I guess when you have no friends and don’t leave your house it kinda is…but enough about you…here are her tits…doing the American Apparel, it’s ok to be naked hustle…cuz everyone is a model thanks to social medai…even real girls

UPDATE – KAIT SCHRAM IS A SIGNED MODEL WITH FORD. SHE WENT TO A CASTING. NOT A DOV CHARNEY EMPLOYEE MEETING. AND I AM IN LOVE WITH HER.

Posted in:Kait Schram

2014

10

Jun

Camille Rowe in Lingerie of the Day

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Camille Rowe is a french model, who in being from France has DONE A BUNCH OF TOPLESS SHIT … Because in France, topless is the equivalent of wearing shirts, and anal is the equivalent of giving someone you meet in a club your number… They just do things differently and seeing her fall off that path of nude model…to become a reputable, Victoria’s Secret contract girl, making all kinds of money annoys me.

You see, I’m not her drug dealing boyfriend who sees her making 1,000,000 dollars a year as a good thing, if anything it is horrible news, because the second she gets paid, the less naked she’ll get even if it’s no big deal, and the more annoying she’s going to become..

There’s this fine line of almost making it, but still too poor to remain hungry, that this girl has surpassed and these corporate pics, just prove that…She’s a fucking titty sell out…

Here are the pics.

Posted in:Camille Rowe

2014

10

Jun

Greer Grammer Celeb Daughter Tits of the Day

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#450311930 / gettyimages.com

I think it is important that we cover Nepotism titties at least once a week. Whether it was Lily Allen topless in 2010 yesterday, or Ireland Baldwin pretty much everyday, there’s something magical about the specific breed of human that grows up with famous, self involved, coke addicted, slut and hooker fucking dad’s who have a lot of money to throw at their little princesses, in totally irresponsible ways, because ultimately, they are still kids and never grew up too…and ultimately, they are babied by everyone around them too..

It’s like, being raised in a rich, luxury filled crackhouse with crazy people, drawing you right into the scene when you come of age, because it’s really easy fucking money when everyone opens the door to you knowing you are Frasier’s daughter…not that Frasier really matters today, but he did in the 90s when she was growing up, and he’s still got stupid money to throw at her… making her a brat, who knows how important it is to have no soul and get naked or show titty if it means getting noticed…

I am fan of this breed of human, I think they come with far more crazy than their parents before them..and that to me is amazing….enough…to want to be around…and by be around I mean to stare at their titties..

#450317540 / gettyimages.com

#450324250 / gettyimages.com

Posted in:Greer Grammer

2014

10

Jun

Quinta Witzel Titties for S Magazine of the Day

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I don’t really dig this model one bit. She looks like a man, and not in a Brazilian, tall and broad hard faced and probably a man kind of way. You know sometimes Trannies can be substantially more feminine that actually women, because they try harder…this one, Quinta Witzel,

But I do like the shoot, because it has Disney toys integrated, something you’ve probably used in your bag of tricks when luring girlfriends into your van at the school yard…you fucking weirdo…

Or maybe you’re just into Disney because it is the happiest place on earth and more importantly, the only girls who will ever fuck you are the kind of fat, cat owning girl obsessed with all things Disney and donuts, because that’s what white trash fat chicks in their early 40s who have never been married are into…I know this because I spent 2 months in Florida.

Either way, Quinta Witzel, is pushing 6 foot, still a model, and showing her tits in S Moda, which in and of itself makes her hard, not so feminine features totally acceptable…because so many girly girls aren’t showing me their tits right now…meaning Quinta Witzel just won motherfuckers.

Posted in:Quinta Witzel