DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2014

24

Apr

Jennette Mccurdy’s Side Profile of the Day

I know very little about Jennette McCurdy…her face is too mangled for me to really bother with…the kind of babe who looks like she was hit in the face with a school bus, you know swallowing her face, looking’ like she’s got no chin, something I find disgusting….to look at but that she’s clearly not aware of, thanks to all the positive affirmation she gets from all her fans, that leads to her not realizing she’s garbage…

I know she’s on some kids TV show and that creepy dads like you like her…because their kids make them watch these shitty shows…or because they just like watching kids shows…

I also know she leaked erotica…in efforts to get noticed, to pull a Miley, to generate scandal to make people care, when it should been a sex tape…and not PANTIES but there’s still time for this little attention seeker and her parents who made her into this revenue generating machine….

Here are some pics….

Here she is singing or something…

Posted in:Jenette McCurdy

2014

24

Apr

Laura Haddock Bikini of the Day

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Laura Haddock is in a bikini…and I am posting it…because like every site that has copied my format over the years…bikini pics get hits and even if you you don’t know who she is – and don’t need to know who she is…the paparazzi have snapped her on the beach, possibly because she hired them, possibly because she’s she’s married to a guy from Hunger Games…not Philip Seymour Hoffman, that guy from the Hunger Games, despite obesity, is no longer hungry or playing games, motherfucker is dead…and this Laura Haddock…she’s in a bikini…

Fascinating, Life Changing, Stuff…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Laura Haddock

2014

24

Apr

Chanel West Coast’s Got an Ass of the Day

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Chanel West Coast is some manufactured porn looking rapper, who sounds like a bootleg Iggy Azaelea who I guess sounds like a bootleg Lil Kim, up on some Nicki Minaj shit, where all the fat ass, thin waist white girls get all famous and shit because they either fuck or like fucking with black dudes…who make records for them…She’s singed to Young Money…and she’s got a ridiculous ass…she’s really interchangeable with so many of these girls before her, but I love a fat ass, and more and more girls have these fat asses thanks to hip hop, hormones in the food, and instagram, so whenever they are posted on Instagram, whether they are capable of rapping or really anything other than having a fat ass or not…I watch…

Here’s her music video…

Posted in:Chanel West Coast

2014

24

Apr

Iza Goulart’s Boxing Erotica of the Day

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My friend got mad at me for saying Iza Goulart’s got a man face and that her fitness has being going into her testosterone reserves and killing off things like estrogen…helping her avoid annoying womanly things like her getting her period…

But the fact is, all these tall BRazilian models, except maybe for indigenous Adriana Lima who they found in a hut in the woods, have man faces…

Which coincidentally coincides with the fact that Brazil has the most Trannies per capita…

Leading even an amateur journalist like me to put two and two together…and what it comes down to is born with a dick that was removed or tuck to save the family from a life of poverty or not…I’d still fuck her, or let her fuck me, but only after she does this boxing routine on my dick to see if I still feel….

Posted in:Iza Goulart

2014

24

Apr

Nina Agdal’s Boring Bikini Campaign of the DAy

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You want to know what fucking sucks?? Catalog pics of a bikini model in a bikini…not because I hate bikinis, or bikini models in bikinis, but because they are always fucking boring…because shit is for a catalog and not a bikini model fetish site…where there’s any concept of strategy in making shit interesting….

Whether it is retard head Nina Agdal, the hooker who broke down so many barriers like so many hookers before her, you know booking SI Swimsuit for free, without having an Athlete boyfriend…or any other of these bitches…shit is not inspiring and more just marketing for them to find rich husbands like so many hookers before her…

Boring.

What could they do to make it better? Maybe a little Pornstar Experience…that is hooker talk for ANAL!!

Posted in:Nina Agdal

2014

24

Apr

Ashely Tisdale’s See Through of the Day

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Ashley Tisdale has a weird fucking fan base…because every time I laugh at her shitty plastic surgery, or the fact that she’s left out of most conversations involving the Disney Sluts you Want to Fuck because she’s built on some Sarah Jessica Parker facial platform…people go fucking crazy…

It’s like they don’t understand that the reason I singled this bitch out was because she won some MTV award for being the hottest girl of the year, only for anyone with a brain to know that shit was paid for and a fucking scam…

So unless she’s in a sex tape, I am hardly interested, even her white t-shirt with no bra hustle bores me, even when you can make out her nipple, because this level of famous should be fisting her own ass on webcam to pay her mortgage…

I guess none of this really matters…I mean the real issue is I just spent 2-2.5 minutes writing about Ashley Tisdale, and as a grown man who didn’t watch High School musical with my kids, or lust after the cast because my wife wasn’t fucking me at home, that’s too much fucking time to spend on her….

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Ashley Tisdale

2014

24

Apr

Ashley Benson Singing for her Fans of the Day

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Ashley Benson is singing on Instagram, because she wants everyone to know that she’s more than just the fat girl in a bikini from Spring Breakers…

I think the whole instagram movement is funny.

People post the most ridiculous shit about themselves, including but not limited to their last shit, or in Ashley Benson’s attention seeking through songs, or taking her extensions out…

Posted in:Ashley Benson

2014

24

Apr

Kate Mara Throwback Adam Fedderly Shoot of the Day

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Kate Mara is Rooney Mara’s sister…

I think she’s more successful than her sister…but I haven’t heard from either of them…

Here she is in some throwback pics from ADAM FEDDERLY a photographer I’ve never heard of…and shit is up on some hipster erotica kick that I am all about…because hipster porn is the future of my masturbation…

Posted in:Kate Mara

2014

24

Apr

Jessica Lowndes in a Bikini for Like it is Wear a Bikini Attention Seeking Season of the Day

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Her name is Jessica Lowndes. She is from Canada. I am from Canada. Which means I have probably fucked her mom. Who know’s maybe I am even her dad because Canada is one of those places where everyone knows everyone, we meet at the Igloo convention where we drink Maple Syrup and play hockey, and I seem to know all the fame seeking shitty people, who either work on making themselves famous, or work on making they kids famous, because it’s too late for their old, beat up, hooker pussies…and what it comes down to is that I’d still fuck this Jessica Lowndes in or out of her bikini like I was her dad, even if I was her dad, since I may be her dad…

Posted in:Jessica Lowndes

2014

24

Apr