DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2014

24

Apr

Suki Waterhouse and Cara Delevingne Erotica of the Day

Suki Waterhouse, who has sex with Brad Cooper….and Cara Delevingne, who has sex with Micheelle Rodriguez, got together in what I assume was a “We are under 25 year old models who like fucking 40+ celebrities” group therapy session….where they produced some armpit licking porn…as part of their 12 step treatment program to such a strange fucking fetish…because 40+ year old celebs are old and boring…while these young models could be fucking anyone….even each other..which is why these pics are weird.

Posted in:Cara Delevingne|Suki Waterhouse

2014

24

Apr

Shanina Shaik for Free People of the Day

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Shanina Shaik is some portuguese water dog model with a great ass, who I assume was a fisherman before being sold off to the evil billion dollar panty corporation…who have lent her out to other panty corporations because they probably manufacture their bullshit for them in their sweatshops all you middle american assholes who like Victoria’s Secret support when you buy their shitty overpriced smut that you think will make you look like one of their models…when really all it does is smell like a poor Indian child’s tears and sweat…

I also assume, that despite not being with Leonardo DiCaprio, who I don’t think loves the ethnic ones, is not quite a hooker yet, even if all modelling has a whole lot of prostitution to it….

Catalog Pics are always dull…but here they are anyway.

Posted in:Shanina Shaik

2014

24

Apr

Tamara Weijenberg for Marie Claire Spain of the Day

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Tamara Weijenberg is a model and she is in Marie Claire Spain… I don’t know anything about her, from what I have found out with my extensive research…she’s from Amsterdam, she’s tall as fuck, and she poses in bikini bottoms, which apparently, is totally enough for me to think she is relevant enough to promote for free…

I mean this bitch isn’t’ even going to tweet me a thank you, or email me a thank you for helping put her out there. There will be no gift basket, no love letters, no invitation to her fucking birthday party…she won’t bake me a cake, or send me a pic of asshole, it’s all fucking take take take with these fame whore bitches…well one day…some dude will take what he wants from them….and that person won’t be me, because I won’t remember who this Tamara chick is in 5 minutes and I have better things to do with her…like nap.

Posted in:Tamara Weijenberg

2014

24

Apr

Iggy Azalea Thickeness for Revolve Clothing of the Day

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Iggy Azalea booked a campaign for a pretty major clothing company…because that’s what happens when you become relevant…

Relevant for being a viral video making, female rapping hit, even if the level of authenticity to what she does is practically non existent…

You see, she was pretending she was this hard-up australian hooker, before coming to America where she just happened to get a record deal…because moving to America is so fucking easy for hookers, but more importantly, so is landing record deals, everyone’s got one who’s ever wanted one…right?

There’s a backstory, that I assume involves fucking the right black man with her thickness, that is trendy….because most hookers don’t line up this for themselves, because most hookers end up in the fucking fucking ditch somewhere…..

Either way, here’s her campaign…and it sucks…considering her music videos are a whole lot more porny….

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Posted in:Iggy Azalea

2014

24

Apr

Jennette Mccurdy’s Side Profile of the Day

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I know very little about Jennette McCurdy…her face is too mangled for me to really bother with…the kind of babe who looks like she was hit in the face with a school bus, you know swallowing her face, looking’ like she’s got no chin, something I find disgusting….to look at but that she’s clearly not aware of, thanks to all the positive affirmation she gets from all her fans, that leads to her not realizing she’s garbage…

I know she’s on some kids TV show and that creepy dads like you like her…because their kids make them watch these shitty shows…or because they just like watching kids shows…

I also know she leaked erotica…in efforts to get noticed, to pull a Miley, to generate scandal to make people care, when it should been a sex tape…and not PANTIES but there’s still time for this little attention seeker and her parents who made her into this revenue generating machine….

Here are some pics….

Here she is singing or something…

Posted in:Jenette McCurdy

2014

24

Apr

Laura Haddock Bikini of the Day

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Laura Haddock is in a bikini…and I am posting it…because like every site that has copied my format over the years…bikini pics get hits and even if you you don’t know who she is – and don’t need to know who she is…the paparazzi have snapped her on the beach, possibly because she hired them, possibly because she’s she’s married to a guy from Hunger Games…not Philip Seymour Hoffman, that guy from the Hunger Games, despite obesity, is no longer hungry or playing games, motherfucker is dead…and this Laura Haddock…she’s in a bikini…

Fascinating, Life Changing, Stuff…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Laura Haddock

2014

24

Apr

Chanel West Coast’s Got an Ass of the Day

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Chanel West Coast is some manufactured porn looking rapper, who sounds like a bootleg Iggy Azaelea who I guess sounds like a bootleg Lil Kim, up on some Nicki Minaj shit, where all the fat ass, thin waist white girls get all famous and shit because they either fuck or like fucking with black dudes…who make records for them…She’s singed to Young Money…and she’s got a ridiculous ass…she’s really interchangeable with so many of these girls before her, but I love a fat ass, and more and more girls have these fat asses thanks to hip hop, hormones in the food, and instagram, so whenever they are posted on Instagram, whether they are capable of rapping or really anything other than having a fat ass or not…I watch…

Here’s her music video…

Posted in:Chanel West Coast

2014

24

Apr

Iza Goulart’s Boxing Erotica of the Day

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My friend got mad at me for saying Iza Goulart’s got a man face and that her fitness has being going into her testosterone reserves and killing off things like estrogen…helping her avoid annoying womanly things like her getting her period…

But the fact is, all these tall BRazilian models, except maybe for indigenous Adriana Lima who they found in a hut in the woods, have man faces…

Which coincidentally coincides with the fact that Brazil has the most Trannies per capita…

Leading even an amateur journalist like me to put two and two together…and what it comes down to is born with a dick that was removed or tuck to save the family from a life of poverty or not…I’d still fuck her, or let her fuck me, but only after she does this boxing routine on my dick to see if I still feel….

Posted in:Iza Goulart

2014

24

Apr

Nina Agdal’s Boring Bikini Campaign of the DAy

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You want to know what fucking sucks?? Catalog pics of a bikini model in a bikini…not because I hate bikinis, or bikini models in bikinis, but because they are always fucking boring…because shit is for a catalog and not a bikini model fetish site…where there’s any concept of strategy in making shit interesting….

Whether it is retard head Nina Agdal, the hooker who broke down so many barriers like so many hookers before her, you know booking SI Swimsuit for free, without having an Athlete boyfriend…or any other of these bitches…shit is not inspiring and more just marketing for them to find rich husbands like so many hookers before her…

Boring.

What could they do to make it better? Maybe a little Pornstar Experience…that is hooker talk for ANAL!!

Posted in:Nina Agdal

2014

24

Apr

Ashely Tisdale’s See Through of the Day

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Ashley Tisdale has a weird fucking fan base…because every time I laugh at her shitty plastic surgery, or the fact that she’s left out of most conversations involving the Disney Sluts you Want to Fuck because she’s built on some Sarah Jessica Parker facial platform…people go fucking crazy…

It’s like they don’t understand that the reason I singled this bitch out was because she won some MTV award for being the hottest girl of the year, only for anyone with a brain to know that shit was paid for and a fucking scam…

So unless she’s in a sex tape, I am hardly interested, even her white t-shirt with no bra hustle bores me, even when you can make out her nipple, because this level of famous should be fisting her own ass on webcam to pay her mortgage…

I guess none of this really matters…I mean the real issue is I just spent 2-2.5 minutes writing about Ashley Tisdale, and as a grown man who didn’t watch High School musical with my kids, or lust after the cast because my wife wasn’t fucking me at home, that’s too much fucking time to spend on her….

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Ashley Tisdale