DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2014

14

Apr

Lake Bell Topless in Esquire of the Day

Lake Bell is some New York city rich kid, who I am sure I have heard of, but has barely done anything significant enough for me to notice, at least not in the mainstream, so I wikipedia-ed her to see what her deal was, and it turns out she’s 35, which may be old as fuck, but apparently not too old to show her tits in a magazine, and along with a bunch of shitty acting jobs, she writes and directs and stars in her own movies, which despite being some narcissist hustle, I kind of respect that she’s taken on the industry with her own resources, without them, and that may make her a bigger star than working for the hollywood assholes, it’s a DIY strategy that I like…but maybe I’m just distracted by her nipples in Esquire…

Posted in:Lake Bell

2014

14

Apr

Miley Cyrus Dancing with her Sister for Instagram of the Day

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Miley Cyrus is a good influence on her tween sister. It’s like she’s paving the way to erotic stripper dancing, making it okay for her when she comes up to do something a little more hardcore now that Miley’s exhausted the options. Not to mention, she’s coming to age in a broken home now that Achy Breaky and Stripper mom are split up, and that alone can make for some good times when coupled with trying to outdo the sister, a drug addiction from having too much money and being raised in Hollywood, and all the other good stuff that comes with the recipe for disaster that comes with being Noah Cyrus…

So here’s part one of the demise…the instagram twerk.

Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2014

14

Apr

Cameron Russell and Sara Sampaio Models Bikini of the Day

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Cameron Russell and Sara Sampaio are some Victoria’s Secret and Sports Illustrated bikini modela…and here they are modelling bikinis…shocking…it’s their fucking job..that’s what they fucking do and what they are meant to do…and what they are trained to do and what they are in contract to do…and it’s at the point of barely being interesting in terms of the shoot itself, or even just being girls in bikini…but whatever..I’ll still look because I can and really have very little else to do right now

Posted in:Cameron Russell|Sara Sampaio

2014

14

Apr

Nina Agdal Behind the Scenes Pics of the Day

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Nina Agdal is in some behind the scenes for some photoshoot that I didn’t bother researching because I research is for nerdy weirdos and I don’t really care for Nina Agdal, not even when she gets nude pics of her from dudes she fucked in Miami posted to the internet, because people fuck, and this model, despite being a big name, doesn’t make much money, is no different than most hookers out there, and really may even still hook to live the lavish life while trying to recruit gay celebrity husbands like Adam Levine, who she turned out to be not good enough for, which is pretty bad, considering he’s the worst, so bad that I can’t even look at her objectively, all I see is maroon….and it’s the fucking worst.

Posted in:Nina Agdal

2014

14

Apr

Rita Ora Topless in Elle of the Day

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Rita Ora is the Rihanna replacement.

I’ve never heard any of her songs, or maybe I have, but they haven’t been sold off to the radio stations like they were Katy Perry, Rihanna, Gaga and all the other very mainstream acts that get a ton of fucking airplay, not because they are good songs, or people call in requests, but because it’s a fucking business and the radio is designed to sell tickets to shows, you know the frontline, forced content on people, media that doesn’t care about what’s best for any of us, despite being such a big part of our life, unintentionally, but still in every store we walk into…

That said, Rita Ora was signed when Rihanna was acting all crazy and could have ended up dying of a drug overdose…but has since calmed down and is making everyone money, putting this one on the bench until they need to bring her out, and I guess while she waits she gets topless in magazines, and she’s got big tits, so that’s not a horrible thing…probably much better than any of the songs she sings..

Posted in:Rita Ora

2014

14

Apr

MTV Movie Awards of the Day

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When you are in your 40s. MTV and their bullshit awards that mean nothing in the grand scheme of things, just don’t matter, but they still happen, like clockwork, because there is a lot of money on the line…it’s great place for brands and movie studios to advertise, and send their talent to appear at, you know it reaches the younger audience…who still watch MTV…and I guess when you’re starved for attention, or into making money off fame, because with fame comes money, it was the place to be last night…and we’ve got all the pics…even if it looks more like a fucking nightmare to me…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:MTV

2014

14

Apr

Ellie Goulding for Cosmo of the Day

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Ellie Goulding is always on the fucking radio and I hate her stupid voice…but I guess that stupid voice has raped my mind enough for me to look at these pics of her in what may be a see through top and think…she’s not a dumb looking as she sounds in that fucking gotta let them burn brain washing song that is always on the radio and that I shouldn’t even know exists, but thanks to the media raping us everywhere we go, I do…but when nippleless tits in magazines make an appearance, I guess, it all seems ok…it’s all part of the illuminati brainwashing strategy.

Posted in:Ellie Goulding

2014

14

Apr

Kid Saves a Drunk Dude and Other Videos of the Day

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The video of a drunk guy trying to get through a fence as hard as he can, is pretty fucking amazing on it’s own, but even better when a kid shows him the way out, that obviously isn’t quite as complicated…

If you don’t like that, here’s some Fire Walking Gone Wrong…

or a Naked Man in the Street….

or a Naked guy dragged out of Walgreens…

Posted in:Videos

2014

14

Apr

Anastasia Ashley and Jiff Pom Longboarding is the Highlight of the Day

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In a crazy, money and fame obsessed world, where everyone is out trying to fuck each other, or fuck each other over, for their own personal gain, every once in a while, a sweet video of a pomeranian and a pro surfer who you know for her hot ass in a bikini, comes out to remind you that the world’s not all that bad…even if it’s fuelled by fame whoring dogs and social media sites worth billions, it’s the #selfie generation, embrace it, have sex with it, because it is our reality, and sometimes things like this happen, and you realize, that it’s not all bad, in fact some of it is all kinds of amazing….

Posted in:Anastasia Ashley

2014

14

Apr

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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I am in Florida.

I hitched a ride with a retired cocktail waitress who must be on a pilgrimage to die…because after 24 hours straight in a car with her blasting religious Jesus music, driving ridiculously fast while popping prescription pills and at one point masturbating…twice..

I figured Florida is a good place to stare at girls in bikinis until getting arrested for being a sex offender and getting off for killing a black kid in your gated community, before drowning your kids so you can party your face off, before eating some homeless person’s face off…

Here are some links…

10 Ways the NBA Playoffs are Like Mad Men…
GO

The Best 4 Seconds Ever on Shark Tank
GO

Leonardo DiCaprio Dancing at Coachella
GO

Kate Upton Wishes She Had Smaller Tits
GO

Mila Kunis is Pregnant at the MTV Awards
GO

A Bunch of Huge Fucking Tits
GO

Edita Vilkeviciute Full Frontal
GO

Cell Phones in the 90s were Exciting
GO

Annie Trailer for You Perverts…
GO

These Girls are Fucking Crazy…and More Importantly…Fucking Dirty…
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS