DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2023

19

Jan

Asshole Behind Thong Thursday of the Day

You gotta wonder if the asshole behind thong was a known design flaw when rolling out the thong, like did the thong manufacturers get complaints from moms who wore thongs around their kids’ friends realizing that they were showing off their second fuck-hole, so they’d write strong worded letters, maybe even commission a lawyer to run a class action lawsuit, because they were promised they were underwear and not fabric that barely covers the shit hole…..

Or was the asshole behind thong a known design feature….

I guess it depends who you ask, but in this parasite controlled society of perverts who love eating eachother’s fecal matter by licking asshole….to spread the parasites…its’ obviously a design feature….

Plus, you can show asshole without feeling exposed, slutty, or NUDE….and everyone likes a good asshole, even a bad asshole, because that’s what the parasites spread through feces WANT us to like….TASTY.

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Posted in:Asshole Behind Thong

2023

19

Jan

Bella Thorne in Pink of the Day

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Bella Thorne is the Disney kid who had to break free from Disney to keep her influence on her fans as they outgrew Disney.

Too much was invested in her fanbase to let them run off and support other people and I guess the crackteam of Disney market researchers figured they’d pretend they dropped her, put her out to the world, let her become an influencer or social media personality who is in the mix with the other gutter social media people, only to do better than them, since she was on Disney first….

She’s transitioned that into being some kind of porn star who doesn’t do porn, but sells nudes, but doesn’t get nude, it’s really a fucking weird situation but she gets fucking paid.

I don’t find her hot, she’s a little clunky and her outfit reminds me of a Drag Queen show that I wouldn’t be jerking off to like an irresponsible parent taking his kid to storytime not realizing that the whole drag movement is adult content due to sexual themes….but when you have Disney kids selling non nudes as if they are nudes you gotta wonder if they really care about an 18+ to enter the strip club, or are they just trying to destroy a generation of young people with all that internet porn.

So yeah, she’s looking like a clunky drag queen, this isn’t hot to me, you can see her nipple barbell through her fetish gear, and it’s all pretty uneventful but better than nothing, I guess.

The good news is there’s a barely a nip slip circulating, so that’s something…not great, boring, played out, tired, exhausted, depressing, but STILL a nip slip on a DISNEY kid, that’s gotta count for something.

Posted in:Bella Thorne

2023

19

Jan

Titty Drop Thursday of the Day

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Titty Drops are just a reminder that if you’ve got tits, you might as well pull them out on the internet in a fun and exciting way…

You can set the titty flash to music, put in slow motion, or even just simulate slow motion by moving in slow motion….so long as the tits fall out of the shirt, like an unboxing video, but instead of it being a shipment of random products a sugar baby got from some cuck losers into FINDOM, it’s unboxing tits….

I think the evolution of Titty Drops, or the next step in unboxing tits, is unboxing box, so maybe they’ll work on labia drops, but I guess you need some mutant blown vaginas for that….but where there’s a WILL there’s a way.

In the meantime, I’m good with tits being flashed by the female hive mind.

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Posted in:Titty Drop

2023

19

Jan

Salma Hayek’s in her Bath Robe of the Day

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Somewhere out there, there’s a motherfucker who’s number one fetish is jerking off to Salma Hayek in her bath robe. so he’ll be happy to know that his dream girl in his dream outfit has happened for him…and he probably doesn’t care that this is so photoshopped she’s basically an AR filter from SNAPCHAT….I mean, maybe this is a dude using his HAYEK filter, making everyone a HAYEK to be jerked off to by the unsuspecting HAYEK fanboys that we all know still exist because they haven’t been able to move on…STUNTED.

I’m more into her big old lady tits that haven’t been cancelled despite her husband’s luxury brands doing weird ass marketing campaigns that made the world question whether they are actually in the business of luxury fashion, or if other things are on their shipping containers…CONSPIRACY TIME!

The good news is rich Mexican, before being the Rich Mexican /American celebrity in the movies, before being the Rich Mexican American Celebrity in France married to an even richer motherfucker, still has her tits, CANCER hasn’t gnawed away at them yet, despite her age…so that’s a celebration….worth celebrating…

Posted in:Salma Hayek

2023

19

Jan

Tanline Thursday of the Day

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Summer means many things to many people, but to me, it means TANLINES….I mean it also means that one stripper who left a period stain on my sweatpants all those years ago, but that wasn’t really her real name.

I may not be a beach bum or pirate of the Caribbean sitting at a beach bar offending the patrons with my drunkeness, but I fucking should be….and I may not leave the house because I am lazy and don’t have to….but I do hate winter and I do love summer…and since summer means tanlines to me….I love the tanlines….

More importantly, since tanlines don’t need the sun, in this fucked up Sci/Fi world we live in, we don’t need summer to get them….

Even more importantly, since no one needs to leave the house, the tanlines are just presented to us on the screen, you don’t even have to venture out looking for some bitch in a bikini that is skimpier than her usual bikini, or better, sunbathing with her tits out.

This internet things definitely got some value….at least in the quest for tanlines..or as I call it the endless summer that doesn’t need summer.

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Posted in:Tanlines

2023

19

Jan

Nicola Peltz Panty Selfie of the Day

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Nicola Peltz posting aggressive panty selfies like a low level instagam model trying to find a sugar daddy or subscribers to help her pay rent only unlike the low level instagram model looking for someone to save her, Nicola Peltz is already rich, taken care of, connected, dialled in, married to David Beckham and Posh Spice’s kid…so her panty flash is strictly attention seeking.

I’ve always said that the rich ladies who get the shit plastic surgeries to stay hot are not all that different than the crackhead strippers who manage to get the shit plastic surgery to make money…

The poor and the super rich are not all that difference because neither have anything to lose….

So this young billionaire’s hot daughter, who has been in movies, who is in the scene for a while, who doesn’t really need anyone’s attention because she’s hot and has it all is just as whorish as a young, single broke girl with a dream…maybe it’s human nature, maybe it’s human nature for me to keep zooming in on her vagina to see if I can see labia…

Posted in:Nicola Peltz

2023

18

Jan

stepLINKS of the Day

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Always take your vitamins….there’s a pandemic out there….and by vitamins, I mean suck random butt plugs presented to you along your many adventures, because you never know what kind of parasite you may get, it could be a good one….a friend for life…to keep you entertained and to make bad decisions for you in the journey you call life.

It’s funny to see that everyone is mad that all the memes about the Tennessee cop getting railed by her co-workers are about the Tennessee cop getting railed by her co-workers and not about the co-workers railing her….it’s like people can’t understand it takes 5 to gangbang a chick…and to only focus on the chick in the gangbang is slut shaming when maybe it’s slut celebrating…since she’s the one taking 5 dudes and focusing on the dudes in the gangbang is pretty gay…

Here are some stepLINKS…

Paige Spiranac Goes Premium!
LICK HERE!!!!

Sophie Rothschild In Her Lingerie!
LICK HERE!!!!

Madonna Plays Truth Or Dare With Amy Schumer, Lily Wayne and More
LICK HERE!!!!

Em Rata Booty in a Tight Dress
LICK HERE!!!!

Sydney Paight Nip Slip on the Red Carpet
LICK HERE!!!!

Paige Lorenze is the Tennis WAG
LICK HERE!!!!

Sommer Ray’s Fitness in a Thong!
LICK HERE!!!!

Alexis Ren Has Something To Say
LICK HERE!!!!

Madonna is Creepy in Religious Vanity Fair Series
LICK HERE!!!!

Southern California Whale Giving Birth
LICK HERE!!!!

Cat Who Opens Microwave Gets Outsmarted
LICK HERE!!!!

Kid Playing with Gun on TV
LICK HERE!!!!

Ivan Provorov Gets In Trouble for Not Wearing Pride Jersey!
LICK HERE!!!!

Debbie St. Pierre Is Not Into Little Men!
LICK HERE!!!!

NKOTB Says he Was Forced to Hide Being Gay – We All Knew
LICK HERE!!!!

Hunting Behavior of a Red Fox
LICK HERE!!!!

Fox on the Trampoline
LICK HERE!!!!

Encounter with an Anaconda
LICK HERE!!!!

Mikayla Demaiter, Glamour Model or Hockey Star?
LICK HERE!!!!

Channing Tatum on the Lie Detector Test
LICK HERE!!!!

Three Lions Attacked by Hippo
LICK HERE!!!!

Mother Bald Eagle Protects Eggs
LICK HERE!!!!

Gisele and Joaquim Valente Go for a Jog!
LICK HERE!!!!

Anna in the Net!
LICK HERE!!!!

Kate Bosworth and Ryan Phillippe Star In THE LOCKSMITH
LICK HERE!!!!

People who Creepily Look like Artworks in Museums
LICK HERE!!!!

Retriever Throws Laundry on the Floor
LICK HERE!!!!

Get Some Hats..
LICK HERE!!!!

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Where the WHALE’s AT…..MAKE ME RICH OFF THE BACK OF THESE CAM GIRLS
LICK HERE!!!!

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From the Forum

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Olivia Wilde in Leggings
LICK HERE!!!!

Kendall Jenner in One Piece
LICK HERE!!!!

Kristen Bell in Leggings
LICK HERE!!!!

Madonna Does the Last Supper like a Satanist with Some Trashy Models with Tits
LICK HERE!!!!

Emma Roberts Sheer Dress
LICK HERE!!!!

Sommer Ray in Tight Pants
LICK HERE!!!!

Sofia Richie in Leggings
LICK HERE!!!!

Margot Robbie in Oversized Mom Pants
LICK HERE!!!!

Hailey Bieber in Bike Shorts
LICK HERE!!!!

Ashley Benson in Leggings
LICK HERE!!!!

Rowan Blanchard in a Tight Dress
LICK HERE!!!!

Alison Brie in Leggings
LICK HERE!!!!

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From stepSMUT!!

(LINKS BELOW ARE NSFW!)
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Finger Banged
LICK HERE!!!!

Big Boob Shine
LICK HERE!!!!

14 People Having a Shit Day
LICK HERE!!!!

Amateur Flesh Mila
LICK HERE!!!!

Possessed!
LICK HERE!!!!

Pyjama Pussy
LICK HERE!!!!

Dildo Ride on the Water
LICK HERE!!!!

Blonde in the Shower
LICK HERE!!!!

Not a Fan of Facials
LICK HERE!!!!

Leather Recliner Time
LICK HERE!!!!

Retard Corner
LICK HERE!!!!

Big Boobs on a Nerdy Girl
LICK HERE!!!!

Butt Plug Insetion
LICK HERE!!!!

Busty Alyssa has her Tits Out
LICK HERE!!!!

Dick Sucker
LICK HERE!!!!

Dildo Bike Rider
LICK HERE!!!!

Itna Has Flowers and Tits
LICK HERE!!!!

Blondie Fucks
LICK HERE!!!!

Public Beach Fuck
LICK HERE!!!!

Lesbian MILFs
LICK HERE!!!!

Amateurs Fuck while Roommate Moves In
LICK HERE!!!!

Masturbating Nerd and her Wand
LICK HERE!!!!

Madison does a Dick Suck
LICK HERE!!!!

Dildo Leg Spread
LICK HERE!!!!

Cum Masters
LICK HERE!!!!

Blue Haired Takes Dicks
LICK HERE!!!!

Lingerie Dildo Ride
LICK HERE!!!!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

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FOLLOW ME INTO THE DARKNESS ON SOCIAL MEDIA:
INSTAGRAM | FACEBOOK | Patreon! | SNAPCHAT | Follow
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Posted in:stepLINKS

2023

18

Jan

Kate Bosworth Nip Slip of the Day

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I don’t know why Kate Bosworth has been in my top 10 celebrities worth fucking or jerking off to, mainly because I think all celebs are trash, I think nerds who make hit lists or rank girl lists are lame as fuck and most importantly, I have no standards and I’d fuck basically any and all celebs without any real discretion, consideration or ranking….but for whatever reason when I hear the name Kate Bosworth, I think, “I like Kate Bosworth”…I can’t even know one of her movies, I’ve never jacked off to her, because I don’t jerk off to celebs, they are garbage….but she’s a skinny blonde chick, now old, but she wasn’t always old and even as an old bitch she’s held up alright…..

That was until finding out she was dating Justin Long, the mac guy, who repulses me and basically has murdered anything I’ve appreciated about Kate Bosworth over the years…

Yes, Justin Long is the kind of dude that makes a bitch’s sex appeal dead to me….and normally I don’t care about the dudes in bitches, so long as I’m not sucking out their cum….but in this case, I do.

Tiny Tits being flashed though, CHECK EM OUT…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Kate Bosworth

2023

18

Jan

Sydney Sweeney’s in Bed UpSkirt of the Day

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Sydney Sweeney is the most overhyped celebrity that I haven’t really heard much about in a few months, but there was a window in our lives that was just so excited by Sydney Sweeney, presumably because she has tits bigger than her head, which is a good thing, because you can use those tits to block out her head if you were to have her upside down, not that she’s hideous or a full butter face that you’d need to brown paper bag, but she does look a bit like a mouth breeder inbred with ceiling eyes, which can be creepy.

Well, she’s back, in her bed, legs up, pantyhose on, tits forgotten and not on display and when you’re the hottest thing, or one of the hottest things created in Hollywood, that’s something worth lookin’ at….even if there’s no tits, which is really what she’s all about and why we even know she exists…and really any celeb producing, uploading a promoting their own upskirt pics is the kind of celeb we should care about, it takes the effort out of creepin’ on them.

Posted in:Sydney Sweeney

2023

18

Jan

Workout Wednesday of the Day

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Stay fit bitches…maybe not too fit…because too fit can be terrifying, but it’s still better than being fat….

Maybe I’m more into staying emaciated and starved the fuck out, you know like 90s models, while retaining your tits than fit, but I figure exercise is part of the process of negative caloric intake..

The point is that no one worth fucking is into fat bitches….unless they’ve been through too many hot model bitches and want to diversify without going gay or to transgendered…

Dudes fucking the fatties are doing it because they have no other choice, it’s fuck a fatty or fuck nothing…and people want to fuck something….and those are the lower tier people fit chicks don’t have to fuck since they are fit….

So to live the sugar baby dream, or to find love with a lifestyle you feel you deserve, or to get jerked off to by dudes who fuck fat chicks and wish so much that they could have a chick who is built the way they are supposed to be built before all the fat but instead are forced to fuck fatties if they are EVEN lucky to get a fatty now that fatties have egos too…find that calorie deficit.

Fit girls are hotter, more energized, better fucks even if they are lying there taking it in a way like “you’re lucky to be here since I’m not a fat chick and you kinda seem like a dude who only gets fat chicks, so do the work”….and sure they aren’t sucking dick like its the last donut in the box they are sneaking at midnight like fat girls traditionally do….they’re just overall less miserable to look at and to be around….especially since they are becoming a myth…..

Here are some workout sluts.

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Posted in:Workout