DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

20

Aug

Sofia Vergara Trying to Stay Hot of the Day

You know that Sofia Vergara is so committed to staying hot that she’s got a basement lab where they kill orphans for her to drink their blood…but she doesn’t post those witch sorcery shit…that would make people think she’s weird…but she does post pics of her doing pilates or whatever this demonstration of different sex positions you can her in…but in her defence every picture of a girl is her showing off a different sex position…this may not be hot, but you’ll probably jerk off to it..

Posted in:Sofia Vergara

2013

20

Aug

Trucking Gone Wrong of the Day

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This video is straight out of a bad comedy…but is in fact real life because I guess wherever this truck driver is from, they don’t train you to factor in the height bridges….and it’s kinda hilarious that this fuck up would happen…it’s gotta be staged…

If you don’t like that…here’s a drunk guy who got naked in some schizo episode from smoking weed

If you don’t like that….here’s a drunk guy in a flood….

Posted in:Videos

2013

20

Aug

Aubrey O’Day Sympathy Post of the Day

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I am there for Aubrey O’Day when no one else cares…which is right now…she’s does the reality show circuit and groupie-ing black rappers as hard as her titties possibly can…

Sure I hate her and think she’s a useless slob as much as the next guy…and I think she’s a still a fat, dumpy slob who doesn’t deserve any fame…but she’s less fat and dumpy because she’s been working out, and photoshopping herself skinny…which I guess makes her and her hard attention seeking nipples a little better that watching her emotionally eat her way through fall the fuck off..

Posted in:Aubrey O'Day

2013

20

Aug

Doutzen Kroes for Vogue Spain of the Day

1 Comment »

Doutzen Kroes is naked in Vogue Spain, which I guess is interesting enough to look at, mainly because she’s not naked in Vogue Africa, because Africans is normally what she gets naked for…but maybe she only does that if they are DJs who can get her pregnant…

Posted in:Doutzen Kroes

2013

20

Aug

Chrissy Teigan Skittles Porn of the Day

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Chrissy Teigan is some fat Sports Illustrated model who always talks about food as fat girls who don’t know they are fat do…she’s the kind of girl who as her belly hangs over her pants but talks to people about how she doesn’t have to work out cuz she’s naturally beautiful…even though she’s not..it is one of those positive reinforcement situations gone wrong…where it gives a girl an ego, that tricks the rich dudes around her enough to marry her, and get her booked doing Candy commercials, when really Candy is the last thing she should be eating, but can be eating cuz her professional gold digging has gone heavy equipment and is now gold mining…

That said, I consider Chrissy Teigan a friend of the site.

Posted in:Chrissy Teigan

2013

20

Aug

Kelly Brook Likes This Angle of the Day

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I think Kelly Brook has found her angle that works for her…and I am sure it has taken her years and years and years, because she’s old as fuck, of selfies trying to figure out just how to pop them titties to get the most impact, the most celebrity dudes to endorse her, and get the most she possibly can from her tits…and I guess as a seasoned titty veteran, this is what years of her titty work has lead to…this is like watching a master in action…letting his skills shine…only…the showing of her tit version..which takes little to no skill whatsoever…

Posted in:Kelly Brook

2013

20

Aug

Catherine McNeil in Lingerie for Esprit of the Day

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Catherine McNeil is some fake lesbian from Australia who was dating some MTV host which allowed her to be a public figure and thus book modelling gigs and for some reason the fake lesbian game doesn’t bother me, because I know even real lesbians aren’t actually lesbians, but misguided jaded girls who fear the cock, despite fucking girls who act like they have a cock, with rubber things that look like a cock…

Thanks to her dyke antics she’s booked some Esprit lingerie campaign, and these are the pics of her in panties, which are a lot like pics of her strap-on, even if she’s the one who gets fucked by a strap-on as she counts down the days before establishing herself so she can go back to the cock…at least that’s my theory.

Posted in:Catherine McNeil

2013

20

Aug

Izabel Goulart’s Workout Pic of the Day

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I don’t know when my love for skinny girls, I’m talking emaciated half dead, weak and unable to say no or run from my predator instincts, all eating a stick of gum and diet coke for their daily calorie intake, turned into being into healthy and fit girls who don’t do drugs, or smoke, or eat processed food…but it happened….

It probably has something to do with Anorexic chicks not getting their periods and thus not being fertile enough to be considered women despite the vagina hanging out their weak body…and Izabel Goulart, ex Victoria’s Secret model, rocks her fitness game on instagram hard, making following her and jerking off to her pics a little easier and worth doing…here she is in Today’s fitness.

Posted in:Izabel Goulart

2013

20

Aug

Olivia Munn Dislocates her Shoulder of the Day

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This video would have been way better if she died at the end. Not because I like when people die in videos, in fact I normally hate it, but Olivia Munn is the devil, or a bitch who has sold her soul to the devil for some low level fame, and I think the world would be a better place without her.

All this to say, too bad she didn’t die at the end….this is staged…like put out hoping people post it and it goes viral…because when my friends dislocate their shoulders they usually scream…

This would be a tragic video for the people who have castings with her next week, because she normally uses that arm to jerk them off, but the good news for them is that she’s pretty well-versed and will be able to jerk them off with her mouth….so injury or not…she’ll be ok…which is too bad, because I wish bad things on her….

Posted in:Olivia Munn

2013

20

Aug

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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Vegas has a way of stealing your soul, which is a good thing, because based on last night, the women who lost their souls 30 years ago when they moved here to be Showgirls but have since been chewed up and spat out a bunch of times over…are pretty fucking affordable to fuck.

Here are some links…

Maria Menounos in Wrestling Hot Pants
GO

Dick Van Dyke’s Flaming Car..
GO

Girls with Tramp Stamps
GO

Selena Gomez Winking…Is Not as fun as her Asshole Winking
GO

The Smallest Car in the World
GO

Babes in Bed
GO

Victoria Beckham in Vogue
GO

Boat Rescue Fail
GO

Naked Girls – So Many Naked Girls….
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS