DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

15

Aug

2014 Pirelli Calendar Preview of the Day

Patrick Demarchelier & Peter Lindbergh shot the 2014 Pirelli Calendar, which in the past has been pretty fucking hot, naked, slutty…but this year seems boring, tame, and a total misuse of a ton of fucking models who I’m sure have all been totally naked so many times before and who should be totally naked this time together…because that would be new, that would be exciting enough to try to masturbate to, but instead it’s just set up like a shoot your mom got at Sear in the 90s for your dad before he left her for the secretary, wearing her Calvin Klein jeans and a white button down shirt half open, because your mom was a cheesy bitch who always dreamt of being a model…

Worst preview ever…I mean seriously people, step your fucking game up.

Posted in:Pirelli Calendar

2013

15

Aug

Kelly Brook Posted Some Hot Pics to Instagram of the Day

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Kelly Brook is an old sloppy big titty bitch…who manages to pull off these decent photoshoots so that every dude who sees her falls in love with her and thinks she’s a amazing…without taking the time to look at what she looks like when she’s not photoshopped to shit….

You see any girl with stupid sized tits, especially when they are real, is going to hormonally be fertile as shit, which Kelly Brook has proven with at least one pregnancy that ended in “tragedy”…and with being fertile as shit..comes sloppy asses, thighs and cellulite..

I like tits… I just think tits get too much hype, so much hype that chubby girls get famous for them. That never made sense to me…I have a friend who only fucks fat girls for their tits, and would say “She had huge tits” and I’d say “She had huge everything bro, especially an appetite, I mean shit…she’s huge”….I guess I just don’t love big tits more than I love skinny chicks…

We live in a world where there is so much more than tits…like asshole, you know it is the window to a girl’s soul…

To see some big titty sloppy legs that aren’t photoshopped CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kelly Brook

2013

15

Aug

Courtney Stodden’s Bikini Gymnastics of the Day

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Courtney Stodden posted this very important and relevant tweet last Friday…and HERE ARE THE PICS

Nothing like a 30 year old stripper or escort pretending to be a teen and really milking it, even though she’s got clown sized novelty titties that no teen would ever get…

IT’s all fucking lies, even a joke, but lies I don’t mind because they come half naked and struggling hard for attention as the media eats up every fucking piece of her bullshit, because they got nothing better to talk about…A joke maybe, but we all know it’s going to end in a sex tape, it’s just a waiting game, and I dig that…

TO SEE THE BIKINI PICS OF HER DOING CARTWHEELS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Courtney Stodden

2013

15

Aug

Ashley Benson’s Slutty Photoshoot Continues of the Day

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Ashley Benson is still milking this bad girl, Spring Breakers bullshit, because it is the only thing that put her on the fucking map….only this time she’s doing it for fashion magazine Nylon, that at one point in time was edgy, kinda like Harmony Korine…but I am sure this bitch doesn’t know that…She’s just milking the candy-coated, corporate and commercial version of those things, now that they have one thing in mind and that’s monetization…it’s the key to ruining anything that had anything good to offer the world…but at least they have her simulating sucking dick, even if this kind of behavior, as Miley always reminds us, is the new Disney behavior…thanks to people like Lohan who have made DUI’s and drug addictions the norm….and I’m not complaining, because the more sluts the merrier…I mean get them in when they are young, make crotchless panties the new top 40 and sign me the fuck up…

Posted in:Ashley Benson

2013

15

Aug

Hilda Dias Pimentel for Fizzy Mag of the Day

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The name Hilda…has never been so hot…but in the name Hilda’s defence, it has never been hot…if you know what I mean…

Her name is unfortunately Hilda, the kind of name you would strategically change if you had good management, because it isn’t all that marketable or exciting…but luckily for her, she is…

From Brazil, built like a tall hipster…posing like a tall hipster…in what is semi-erotic and even soft core porn, if we were still in the 80s….cuz thanks to the internet, the only think we consider soft core is when they use condoms…or they edit out the pop shot…

Posted in:Hilda Dias Pimentel

2013

15

Aug

Zippora Seven Naked Photoshoot of the Day

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Zippora Seven is some model who has been around for a long enough time that I recognize her crazy hippie name…

She’s from New Zealand, I have posted her NUDE BEFORE ….including other pics from THIS PHOTOSHOOT …because I like her…and like the fact that she even caused a scandal back when she was 16 (it’s legal in Canada) and posed nude for some fashion magazine…because girls who are always nude are far more fun to hang with than girls who are never nude…because girls who are never nude make it hard for you to trip and fall and accidentally stick your dick inside…right?

Posted in:NSFW|Zippora Seven

2013

15

Aug

Rosie Huntington-Whitely For Numero Japan of the Day

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She’s not showing her nipple. She’s not half naked. She’s just posing in front of mirrors, like a high production selfie, taken by a professional, in a professionally lit studio, with hair, make-up and wardrobe, so I guess not like a selfie at all…

I guess she’s worked her way into my heart, in a way that I just like looking at pics of her…it’s like that moment you have a girl spend the night who you have fucked before, but you didn’t fuck that night, yet you don’t seem to care that you didn’t fuck her, you’re just happy she’s sleeping in your bed…I think they call it love..but I can’t be too sure, this is the first time it’s happening to me…and I guess either can you, since you’re a fucking virgin…

Boring pics, hot bitch, works for me…

Posted in:Rosie Huntington-Whitely

2013

15

Aug

Naked Tribal Wives Wrestling of the Day

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This is a video of tribal wives wrestling to see who will be the Queen of the jungle.

Some people say that tribal jungle people are primitive. Untouched from the modern conveniences of society, with no internet or designer clothes, or jobs or money or taxes, but after watching this video of them fighting in what looks like a thong, but is actually just a waist band, all pussy exposed in some of the best mud wrestling I’ve seen, I think they’ve got it all figured out. They know what is important in life…and that’s girl on girl wrestling…fuck the stock market, your new iPhone, restaurants…this is what it’s all about…and brings back memories of a simpler time before the internet, when I used to jerk off to National Geographic.

It’s not porno, it’s nature!! Sometimes they are just interchangeable, like the time I fucked a tree.

Posted in:NSFW|Videos

2013

15

Aug

Breast Milk Cookbook is The Best Kickstarter of the Day

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I was just tipped off to this Kickstarter page for the Official Breast Milk Cookbook, which as you know is just code for getting busty bitches half naked and posing with food, because using Breast Milk as an ingredient is just replacing real milk in a recipe…clever perverts…make the world think you’re up on some hippie shit, especially with all the hype Breast Feeding gets, when we know it’s just an excuse for mom’s to pull their tits out and get some mail attention that’s not they asshole husband asking when dinner is ready…

Here’s their manifesto,

Mother's Milk is the first official cookbook that utilizes breast milk as an ingredient in all of its recipes. In over 50 recipes, the book covers breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, and drinks that will make sure breast milk can be enjoyed by the whole family.

It’s pretty funny….and they are shooting it with babes with implants…which I thought fucked up breast feeding…confusing me about this natural approach to half naked girls.but I know I like to drink breast milk from the source…why wouldn’t I like drinking it from the source…

It’s inspired me to make a cookbook with girl’s squirt, which I am convinced is just pee, but that can be added to any recipe and you won’t notice a thing, I mean they do it in Mexican restaurants all the fucking time…those crazy mexicans…

This shit is better than this picture of Selma Blair Breastfeeding..

To Help Fund This Project CLICK HERE

Posted in:Breast Milk|Kickstarer

2013

15

Aug

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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Last night’s failed pick up line was:

I am a budding entrepreneur, I actually get 4 hours of sleep a night, because I am busy raping stray cats to tenderize the meat before selling them to some sketchy chinese restaurant…but don’t worry, it’s not cruel, cats have no nerves in their assholes….

I thought she’d have an LOLCat moment…she didn’t.

HERE ARE SOME LINKS….

Girls Showing Off Their Backs…
GO

Her name is Nabilla Benattia and She’s in a Bikini
GO

LeAnn Rimes’ Reality Show is Pretty Realistic…
GO

4 Minutes of Fails
GO

The Worst People in Reality TV History
GO

Dog Toy Massages Real Dog
GO

Lauren Prepon is Leaving Orange is the New Black…
GO

Interview with Cinematographer of The Canyons…Dissing Lohan…
GO

The Shark Whisperer Balancing a Shark on his Hand
GO

The 2013 YoYo Champion
GO

Two Awesome Girls Naked on the BEach
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Interesting Sushit Commercial
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Video Interview With Angelina Jolie – If You Care
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Slappin’ Bass Cover of Get Lucky…For No Real Reason…Since I Hate That Song…
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Big Titties Like Champagne
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I try to marry cam girls every night…they are just that amazing…
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS