I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2013

31

May

Karlie Kloss’s Intense Bathing Suit for Vogue Turkey of the Day

Karlie Kloss is 6 foot 2….and I would not mind inspecting every inch of her with my flaccid penis…just smearing it all over her hoping it triggers some sensation in an otherwise dead organ. Thanks high blood pressure, diabetes, drinking, and living the good life…and if that doesn’t work, I can always recruit her for the DrunkenStepfather Charity Beach Volleyball league, training involves getting my 5 foot 6 ass shit off the high shelf in the kitchen and changing lightbulbs for me without a ladder while I talk dirty…”Oh yeah girl, screw that in, you like reaching don’t you, you like that you can dunk a basketball on regulation net like Miami Heat, while wearing heels, you genetically modified food eating monster….”…cuz in case you haven’t left the house in years, girls are tall as fuck now, with legs that excite me.

Posted in:Karlie Kloss

2013

31

May

Natallia Krauchanka for Vanity Fair Italia of the Day


At least once a day I like to look at models like Natallia Krauchanka and remind myself that they are the ones who beat Russian Human Trafficking, because their friends, girls just like them, are locked in a basement somewhere with armed guard making them do whatever they are told on cam for 5 dollars an hour that they don’t see a penny of because they are too busy being locked up in hell sex worker prison…while these ones are out booking modelling jobs, sucking dick they want to suck, not dick they are forced to suck, while looking good doing it. Normally I like the underdog, but today, I like the winner and that winner is Natallia Krauchanka, even if it means we’re all losers cuz we can’t get her pissing on command for 5 dollars a minute.

Posted in:Natallia Krauchanka

2013

31

May

Paz Vega Hot for Haper’s Bazaar Mexico of the Day


Paz Vega is in a Bathing Suit in Harper’s Bazaar Mexico….

I just have no idea who Paz Vega is….other than some Spanish Actress pushing 40 who is best known for being in who gives a fuck…she’s in a bathing suit for a magazine and she’s not too old or too fat..for me to ignore, even if she was old and fat I’d still be looking, but maybe it is cuz her name is so fucking stupid sounding…and I love that shit…you know hot for weird ethnic names since my name is Jesus, which is like Bob in Mexico, but for some reason a joke here to you ignorant hick motherfuckers.

Posted in:Paz Vega

2013

31

May

Heidi Klum Attacked by a Naked Protestor of the Day

I don’t care what these girls are protesting, I am going to assume based on their sloppy bodies, that it has something to do with hating skinny girls, because that’s what all the corporations want girls to be protesting, you know feel empowered to bully skinny girls who get paid millions to look good, encouraging other girls to use Rosie or Roseanne as their idols or that new Australian from Pitch Perfect, instead of skinny girls….all to increase sales of fast food, to make the world a lazier place that doesn’t protest, who are addicted to anti-depressants and rely on diabetes medication…health and fitness is the one thing the government and big business doesn’t want.

What it comes down to is that I totally endorse all protests that involve tits…even if I am totally into models and their skinny long bodies.

Posted in:Heidi Klum|NSFW

2013

31

May

Cassie Makes Esquire Good of the Day

There was a time many years ago that the Cassie and Rihanna nude pics were released at the exact same time on the exact same day….where Cassie, who was Puff Daddy’s girl and probably still is, and Rihanna who was Jay-Z’s girl, went titty and booty to titty and booty, and despite Cassie coming out on top, with the far hotter look and feel and tender touch, Rihanna still sky rocketed to super fame….

Well, it looks like Cassie and her Diddy team are stepping up their game before she turns 40 years old, cuz they got her up in Esquire and I wouldn’t mind being up in her…but in my defence – I’ve always wanted to bang a hot black girl but never have because they all ignore me like snobs, making them some forbidden fruit I probably hold in higher esteem than I should…but after looking at these pics again, she’s good any color.

Posted in:Cassie

2013

31

May

Adrienne Curry in a Bikini for Twitter of the Day

Adrienne Curry is the kind of woman who if was in a plane crash, I doubt would even make the news. I mean unless it was CNN, then they’d dedicate a week of programming to her to distract the people from real world issues.

She is totally irrelevant, she’s not even hot, her fan base has slowly gone from the one person who remembers her from the first season of the Top Model show, to a gang of virgin losers from the internet, who ultimate make her think she’s relevant…when really she’s just some bottom feeding clown….but at least she’s in a bikini.

Posted in:Adrienne Curry

2013

31

May

Miley Cyrus and Snoop Lion Video of the Day

so Hip Hop Miley’s new branding so the world doesn’t view her as some plastic, bullshit, popstar, even though Hip Hop is the new Britney Spears and every asshole in Middle America is tweaking and singing along to the hip hop stars, it’s just got a little more street cred than when the Backstreet Boys were around and Hip Hop was still a little more underground and not being played on top 40 radio, or even in stores and Hip Hop shows involved riot squad and ambulances to pick up the shot broken thugs, not tweens who passed out from excitement for seeing DRAKE…

Here’s a pic of her belly hanging over her pants….in a sports bra type shirt…because even a fat Miley is a Miley I’d like to lick like an ice cream cone…and this motherfucker right here loves some fucking Miley Ice Cream…

Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2013

31

May

Ana Beatriz Barros All American for Some Magazine of the Day

I don’t even know if these are pics of Ana Beatriz Barros or some other model from the same shoot, in fact, I don’t even know if I am posting pics of the same girl, white girls, even when from Brazil all look the same, more importantly, I have facial recognition blindness, cuz I am normally looking at their tits….

All this to say, whoever the model is, I like her weird as fuck poses and squatting drunk handicapped person who needs to take a shit stance…

That’s porn to me.

Posted in:Ana Beatriz Barros

2013

31

May

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

The out pouring of girls who have reached out knowing that I am in florida has been too intense to manage. I wish their were more of me, or at least one of me with a dick that worked to take advantage of all these average looking drunk American girls…who are really not as obese as I expected…but who unfortunately think they are super models because they aren’t obese, like they are the “Hot ones”….at least the booze never lets me down, even if it is slowly killing me, at least it is killing me right.

Here are some morning links…

Hot Girls Bending at the Waist
GO

The Gayest Picture of Colin Farrell Ever…
GO

Busy Phillipps is ABout to Explode or Star in Ready or Drop Porn
GO

The Sea of Monsters Trailer
GO

BMX Bike Tricks
GO

Pull UP Bar Fail
GO

The Michael Jackson of Cotton Candy
GO

Oprah Gets an Honorary Degree Because She Hasn’t Been Given Enough
GO

Hot Chicks Blow Drying Their Asses
GO

Samanth Gradoville in Latin Vogue Lookin’ Good.
GO

TONIGHT I WILL BANG A GIRL FROM THIS SITE –
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2013

30

May

stepLINKS of the Day

Hey Florida…the girls aren’t as fat, toothless, inbred and poor looking as I expected…In fact there are a lot of fit bitches with fake tits who look like they have a lot of bi-racial babies with their drug dealing boyfriend they met at the club they used to bar tend at…10 years earlier…before retiring and embracing the golden years…now let’s bang out….I’ll pretend I can make you famous if it helps…you lower your standards…..

Here is the stepLINKS

Rihanna Likes the Pain of Getting a Brazilian Wax…Obviously…
GO

Miley Cyrus Tweeted a Pic of Her in a Wedding Dress to Celebrate her Break Up with her Fiance She Pretended She Didn’t Break Up With
GO

Hey Girls Burn Your Bras!!! Here’s a Lot of Pics of Girls With No Bra
GO

Melissa Riso Sucking a Cake Pop….
GO

Don’t Fuck with Beyonce’s Ass…Seriously…That Shit is Evil….
GO

Isla Fisher See Thru to Bra
GO

Rihanna fan Says Rihanna’s Lipstick Gave Her Herpes – WTF
GO

Lauren Pope’s Bikini Cameltoe
GO

Emma Watson Talks BLING RING
GO

Giraffe Mating Fail
GO

Hot Chicks Blow Drying Their Asses
GO

Some Amazing Pool Shots
GO

The Ultimate Dance Compilation
GO

Two Hot Thai GIrls….on Webcam
GO

Her Name is Jordan Carver and She’s got Huge Tits
GO

Eliza Doolittle in Some Hot Cut Out Outfit
GO

Olivia Wilde’s Bikini Pics Don’t End
GO

Patrick Stewart Ate His First Slice of Pizza at 72
GO

Take THAT Bitch!
GO

Bored Car Model – Spices Things Up
GO

Photograph Tattoo Fails….Amazing…
GO

Some Random Model You’ll Want to Bang in a Bikini
GO

Cassie Hot as Fuck for Esquire
GO

Animals Vs Mirrors
GO

A Cat in Boots
GO

Head Spin on a Tin Can
GO

20 GIFS of Exercise Mishaps
GO

Why Couldn’t This Dog Rip This Fucker Apart?
GO

Here’s an Amazing Mug Shot
GO

Oh Hi Jenna Haze in Lingerie
GO

Drunken Sex While Driving – Leads to Accident
GO

Julianne Hough Beater and Yoga Pants Showing Stomach
GO

Esquire Has Their Own TV Network
GO

Penelope Cruz’s Pregnant Belly
GO

These Tits are Substantial….
GO

Jennifer Nicole Lee’s Bikini Titty Slip
GO

Brooke Burke Still Hot
GO

Headstand Beer Chug Fail
GO

Pregnant Kim Kardashian Has Been Getting Botox…I Think That’s the Least of her or her Baby’s Concerns
GO

Hot Babes in Towels…
GO

Fall in Love With Hot Free Cam Girls….
GO

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From stepSMUT!! NSFW!
================

Shameless Lesbians Caught Eating Pussy on the Bus…
GO

Girl Makes Herself Cum with Bathtub Faucet…Fun
GO

Worm in the Hole Will Freak You the Fuck Out….
GO

Road Head Mess When Girl Refuses to Swallow
GO

Fat Chick With a Huge Dick – Is a Weird Fetish
GO

Girlfriend Surprised by Cumshot
GO

Even When Your Dick Does Work, Fucking a Girl Til She Cums with a Vibe is Awesome….
GO

Cam Girls are People Too…People I Like to Masturbate To….
GO

My New favorite Thing Before Bed -> PHONE SEX!
GO

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Girls Hate Your Balding Hair – That’s Why You Don’t Get Laid – Fix It…
GO

Get the Farrah Abraham Sex Tape
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS