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2013

10

Jun

Jamie Lynn Sigler’s Pregnant Bikini of the Day

There’s just something about pregnant girls in bikinis…that makes me want to throw up.

There’s a creature growing inside her that will be shat out of her pussy.

That’s fucking disgusting.

Not to mention, look at her body, built like a tank, when and if that shit ever burns off her, she’ll be a shell of what she once was…a loose skinned shell.

Horrible. Put some clothes on. Keep it in your pants. This is what abortions were made for.

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Posted in:Jamie Lynn Sigler

2013

10

Jun

Cindy Crawford Making Out With Herself for MUSE of the Day

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Cindy Crawford is a fucking dream. I know I am supposed to be disgusted by old ladies, but this one, this one’s special and not even because I used to jerk off to her in the 90s when she was supermodeling, but because I crossed paths with her once, and her “it factor”…the same “it factor” that made her a celebrity in the first place…pretty much melted my soul.

I guess some people just have an energy, or what it takes to win the people around them over, and some people, like supermodels, no how to make love with their eyes, and pretty much ruin anything in a 10 block radius.

Seriously, after the day I crossed paths with her, I’ve never been the same, no girl has been close to this greatness, and all the bitches I fucked, despite having no standards, were that much more unappealing.

I am a fan of this shoot for the latest issue of MUSE…but more importantly, I am a fan of ejaculating on printouts of it…because that’s as close as I’ll get to this loveliness.

Posted in:Cindy Crawford

2013

10

Jun

Isabeli Fontana Modeling Bathing Suits of the Day

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Brazilian supermodel Isabeli Fontana is modelling bathing suits, and unlike most Brazilan models, at least the ones I’ve met, she doesn’t have a dick.

You know, since Brazil is the hub of lady boys and trannies, the gateway for people like Anderson Cooper to dabble with homosexuality, you know to dip his toe in first, before being full fledged, cuz it’s not quite gay if she’s got tits with her dick…

I PREFER SEEING HER TOPLESS cuz that’s what these fashion models are meant to be doing….but bikinis work…I mean anything to help me imagine them naked…is good enough for me…but then again a plastic bag filled with expired meat is good enough for me to imagine fucking…but that’s probably cuz it smells like my wife’s cunt…feels like home.

Posted in:Isabeli Fontana

2013

10

Jun

Emily Didonato’s Lingerie Campaign of the Day

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Emily Didonato has shown her NIPPLES FOR FASHION ….and it was semi-disappointing, knowing that Jake Gyllenhaal, enemy of DRUNKENSTEPFATHER.com, owns them, before remembering that Jake Gyllenhaal, enemy of DRUNKENSTEPFATHER.com, is a homosexual, who has probably only seen these nipples, while shopping for bikinis, or when one tit slipped out while they were pretending to be in a relationship, and she was either bending over in a loose fitting shirt to pick something up off the floor, or changing before going to a function where she was going to play his beard, at leas that’s what you’d like to think, cuz knowing a bitch, especially a hot bitch, is doing groupie shit with such a loser, no matter how famous he is, ruins her….so it’s better to pretend their genitals never got jammed up in each other…..

Here she is modelling lingerie…

Posted in:Emily DiDonato

2013

10

Jun

Zuzana Kopuncova in Bathing Suits of the Day

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Zuzana Kopuncova has the name of a girl who should be locked in the basement of a stripclub in some Eastern European city. You know, because she was abducted or sold to the MAFIA by her father to pay off some kind of debt, or because the MAFIA was looking for some young, tight pussy, to work their CAM companies for free, or at least to save their parents from being killed off.

But instead, this Zuzana Kopuncova, is just some lovely Slovakian, 5 foot 10, goddess, all long and lean, because she’s a model, modelling bathing suits, all thanks to the fall of communism, because without the fall of communism, she’d be sewing work uniforms in a factory for 1 dollar a day, and that would be a waste of such amazingness…

Posted in:Zuzana Kopuncova

2013

10

Jun

Natasha Barnard for GUESS of the Day

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Natasha Barnard, not to be confused with Natasha Barn yard the pig you lost your virginity to, cuz you dad caught you playing with barbies and he couldn’t have that….is a Guess model, following the footsteps of such great models as Anna Nicole Smith, only unlike Anna Nicole Smith, this Natasha Barnard is not dead and thank god for that, because it would make jerking off to her way creepy….

Posted in:Natasha Barnard

2013

10

Jun

Babes at the Spike TV Guys Choice Awards of the Day

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Alba, Katherine Webb, Jennifer Aniston, Kaley Cuoco and a few other women who don’t matter showed up to an event that doesn’t matter, probably because they were paid.

That’s not to say that SPIKE TV hasn’t revolutionized TV, oh right, they haven’t…if anything I am surprised they even have their own channel, and people advertise on it, cuz I don’t know one original show of theirs, and I don’t know one person who ever mentioned running home for sunday night on SPIKE like they do with other cable channels…

Making their award show, just a pile of shit that doesn’t matter, that no one cares about, that mean nothing, and that are essentially just “going through the motions”…because having an award show is fun, with as much warrant as me hosting an award show in my basement for my sex dolls, only at my award show, Alba, Aniston and Cuoco don’t show up, but the good news is that I can tape their picture on anything I want before fucking it to shreds…

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Posted in:Events

2013

10

Jun

Bregje Heinen Hot for Some Magazine Called SCHON #21 of the Day

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Bregje Heinen is one of my favorite models with a name that sounds like throwing up, or being gagged by a cock, like this was fucking prison and I was given no choice. You know a angelic sound that will haunt you for life that comes straight from the depth of your throat…. BREGJE ….BREGJE…

The fact is that who cares what her fucking name is, most bitches are nameless, and names are just a way to catalog them in your phone to make your sexting more convenient and to help you separate the cunts from the CUNT…if you know what I mean…

Unfortunately, none of the girls in my phone are BREGJE HEINEN cuz if they were, I would feel as though I fuckin made it. And I guess we couldn’t have that, now could we…just endless failure for this motherfucker….

Posted in:Bregje Heinen

2013

10

Jun

Maria Menounos Bikini Birthday Party of the Day

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Maria Menounos celebrated her 35th birthday cuz she’s old as fuck, and in celebrating her 35th birthday party she got into a bikini top because I guess she didn’t get the memo that no one wants to see a 35 year old in a fucking bikini. There’s this thing that happens at 34, where a bikini becomes off limits, no matter how fit a bitch is, but for some reason ,bitches never follow that rule. Not that I’m complaining, I look at any disaster in a bikini, I’m just looking out for her best interest, you know if I don’t let her know she’s old as fuck, no one will, cuz being on TV means everyone around you just sucks your dick all day and makes shit delusional…

At least she covered up her greek vagina (ass), by wearing shorts, because usually the ass is the first to start melting.

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Posted in:Maria Menounos

2013

10

Jun

Rihanna’s Instagram Fashion Show of the Day

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Rihanna played dress-up for Instagram, modeling some bullshit, popping her booty, doing what she does, and I am just bummed that I’m looking at her clothed bum and not pics of her spread asshole.

You see, there’s something magical about a real deal exhibitionist slut. especially when they don’t need to be exhibitionists cuz they make money, have money, and just do it for fun.

While, a cock tease in tight clothes is just a fucking bummer.

But I’ll post the pics anyway, I got nothing else going on.

Posted in:Rihanna