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2013

02

Jun

Farrah Abraham at the EXXXOTICA Convention of the Day

Those of you who know the site, know that I LOVE PORNSTAR TEEN MOM FARRAH ABRAHAM, who I traveled to Florida to have a chance to stand 10 feet away from and judge in person, because let’s face it, I don’t want to meet her, and apparently either do many people.

The pornstars hate her, but they don’t matter, they are pornstars and she outsells their gutter hooker pussies any day, even if she’s technically one of them, she’s above them and allowed to be a snob about it even if the fans weren’t really there to see her, even though she was the biggest star in the room, maybe because teen mom fans are in the midwest getting pregnant and not in Florida at porn conventions.

She was the only one with a roped off line, which happened to also be the only one who didn’t have a line…

Here’s a quick recap of my date with Farrah Abraham – from a distance…because that’s all I wanted.

Day 1 –

First She Ran Away from me…as most girls do…

Then things calmed down, way down, we heard crickets, as no one lined up to see her, I guess they either didn’t care or were intimidated by her amazing performance in her SEX TAPE

But it gave her time to check her texts…and tweets…to remind herself that people do care…as people do in all lonely and awkward situations…

Then people noticed her and that she was that chick from TV who made a hugely successful porn, and now she made her first 20 Dollars signing…it was exciting for her!

Then she got her ego back and said No…this is her in the process of saying no…to 2 young girls who were actually excited to see her and not pervert dudes who just like collecting autographs of bitches who fuck on camera like they are action figures or Magic the Gathering cards.

After watching the porn, I didn’t think NO was in her vocabulary. You learn something new everyday at the EXXXOTICA convention…

Day 2 – Same Dress….I guess it’s her porno dress.

Things started to pick up for her, the paparazzi were called, they were in full force, and she was glowing with excitement…finally…the flashes she craved!! She was able to make a little money, selling autographs and DVDs directly to the perverts…

It’s nice to see things work out for her…

Look how happy she was…this is fantastic career moves for the 21 year old. Only good things can happen from her and whatever she applies herself to, she’s going to be a huge star.

Success!!!

I am still a fan of her squirt, even if she wasn’t very friendly, got mad when people took pics of her, and acting like an overall spoiled brat, when working a porn convention floor, something that in and of itself…can’t make you a brat.

She’s going places…and I am watching from 10 feet away…because I am a creep and despite all the hate she gets, I love the hated, it kinda makes me want to make her a “In her 20s Mom”….but squirting and anal does that to me…cuz you can’t get pregnant from anal. #FACT.

PORNSTAR TEEN MOM FARRAH ABRAHAM

Posted in:Exxxotica|Farrah Abraham|Sex Tape|stepEXCLUSIVE|Teen Mom

2013

31

May

stepLINKS of the Day

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Heading to the porn convention in Fort Lauderdale, gonna try to make magic – but may end up arrested, kicked out, or murdered before I even get started thanks to being hated by most porn chicks and their body guards and purse holding boyfriends…

Follow me on TWITTER TO KEEP UP

I Hope I Get THe Chance to Get TEEN MOM THE SQUIRTER TO LET ME DRINK HER SQUIRT

Here are some stepLINKS…

Gwen Stefani Throwback Bikini Pics.
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Nikki Leigh in Her Lingerie
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Philip Seymour Hoffman is a Heroin Addict – Not Surprising
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Girls in Front of the Mirror
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Kat Von D Throwback Slutty Pics
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Taking the Exit Like a Boss
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Playboy Cyber Girl Photoshoot Video
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Man Vs Water Cannon
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Jessica Bueno is Pretty Fucking Bueno
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Milla Jovovich is Now Living in a Glass House
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The Amy Adams Crotch Shot…
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Today in Courtney Love Excitement
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Petra Benova and Her Lesbian on the Beach
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Brave Ducks Take a Leap of Faith
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Sarah Shahi in a Bikini
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Some Chick Named Cara Santana’s Hot Tight Body
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Holly Gibson’s Sex Strip
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Salma Hayek Ass in Jeans
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Girl Gets Hit By a Car – Loses Her Shoes – Hope They Are Ok
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Goshawk in Slow Motion
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Wacking Off On Unsuspecting Girls in Bikinis – Is Probably Illegal
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Greek Newscast Accidentally Shows Porn
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Hot Chick for XXL Magazine Russia
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Hot Lesbians Eating Each Other Out on the Bus
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Hot Titty Model Grabbing Her TIts
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Check Out These Greek Sluts…
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Pauley Perrette Pokies
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Hot Girlfriends….
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Some Porn Lesbians WHo Pretend They Live Together
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Ass Picture of the Day
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Nude Girl Singer Song Writer….Covering Nirvana
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Seren Gibson Hot Glamour Model Tits…
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Houseboat Slide Fail
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Holy Fuck – Base Jumper Shoot Fail – Fail Caught on Video
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Talia is a Skinny Blonde Nude Chick…
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Funny Prank Text to Send Your GF – I’ve Done Worse Often
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Guy Who Photoshops Himself into Pics of Celebrities
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Miguel Might Get Sued for Crushing a Bitch
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Throwback Rihanna Ass in Concert…
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Fall in Love With Hot Free Cam Girls….
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From stepSMUT!! NSFW!
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Girl Fucks Dude While Friend Keeps Watch
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3 Girls Dancing on Cam
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Redhead Jerks off Two Dudes
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Some Cam Girl Tits
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Mom Keeps Crying During Anal
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Even When Your Dick Does Work, Fucking a Girl Til She Cums with a Vibe is Awesome….
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Cam Girls are People Too…People I Like to Masturbate To….
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My New favorite Thing Before Bed -> PHONE SEX!
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Girls Hate Your Balding Hair – That’s Why You Don’t Get Laid – Fix It…
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I love Teen Mom Farrah…..
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Posted in:stepLINKS

2013

31

May

Anne Vyalitsina Tits for Elle France of the Day

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As much as I like models who show their tits for their careers like they were strippers and/or pornstars, I have a hard time liking them when knowing Adam Levine has been inside them. It’s like as I stare at her nipples, all I hear is a whining Maroon 5 song, like her tits were speakers, that he used to suck on….music that I unfortunately know all the lyrics to, because he is the devil and is brainwashing us through the radio.

But here’s his ex-pussy modelling proper despite my hatred for her bad decision making when it comes to thinks to put inside her.

Posted in:Anne Vyalitsina|NSFW

2013

31

May

Pam Anderson’s Being Pam Anderson a Decade Later for Vogue Brazil of the Day

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Never too old to try, especially not when you’re entire 50 year old body has been rebuilt, refurbished, redesigned, and is in fact less than 20 years old.

Jerking off to these tits would be illegal based on their age alone, but since they are attached to some zombie Glamour Model of yesteryear, it makes it ok, even if it should be illegal…

The reality is that she’s photoshopped so hard that this is not even her, if anything these pics could just be from the archives of her younger years, being played off today, because she doesn’t look dead, or like a zombie, all yellow and dying of HEP, like her sagging skin faced normally does…

It’s still nice to be reminded of the 90s, when jerking off to Pam Anderson was a thing all guys did pre-internet thanks to Baywatch Slow Motion scenes and some playboy pictorials.

Even if it is weird.

Posted in:Pam Anderson

2013

31

May

Taylor Momsen’s Hot New Video Teaser for “Going to Hell” of the Day

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Dirty white panties on a dirty white girl who was far more fun to pay attention to when she was a dirty young girl…before turning 18 and her dirty girl act lost the whole illegal aspect that people were into…or at least talking about because it was so scandalous for a 17 year old who had no childhood thanks to being thrown into the entertainment industry…

The fact is that she’s trying hard, willing to put herself out there half naked, all while being skinny coupled with being broken is good enough for me, especially when over 18.

This is hot..in an Hollywood bad girl who isn’t bad at all way…

Posted in:Taylor Momsen

2013

31

May

Pug Gets Saved of the Day

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I am a pug owner. In fact, the only thing that matters to me is my pug.

Seriously, they are like little retarded people, with little retarded faces, who are always happy and half retarded, who need to be taken care of, because on their own they just can’t survive.

Seriously, my pug has almost died at least a dozen times when I leave him alone for days at a time with no food and water. I’m joking, I take that fucker everywhere, and from eating dirty syringes, to trying to hang himself when excited to see a squirrel, to other dumb shit, they need to be watched.

So seeing this pug, and his stupid careless owner get in the elevator, without him, and without letting go of the leash, makes me want to kill her and more importantly, makes me happy a dude was there to save the little guy.

See, pugs remind me I have a soul.

Posted in:Videos

2013

31

May

Amanda Bynes Trampolines of the Day

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Amanda Bynes is my favorite. I think she’s an amazing angel sent from heaven to make a mockery of the tabloids by giving them easy to digest content, you know, something to talk about, so middle America can act all shocked about her demise, when really it is all crafted and created with a master plan of amazing…and even if she is falling off the rails and actually crazy thanks to being raised in Hollywood it is fun to watch, especially when she’s at a trampoline center practicing her jumping in a wig, but let’s face it, that’s always fun, whether Bynes is involved or not…

Now all I need to do is figure out how to get her pregnant, or at least have her practice her jumping on my dick or face…or anything that can be used against her vagina.

Here’s some TMZ video of her pretending she doesn’t know where she is.

Or maybe you’re more into videos of a dudes jerking off on a pics of her….in the weirdest fetish ever. CLICK HERE (NSFW)

Posted in:Amanda Bynes

2013

31

May

Karlie Kloss’s Intense Bathing Suit for Vogue Turkey of the Day

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Karlie Kloss is 6 foot 2….and I would not mind inspecting every inch of her with my flaccid penis…just smearing it all over her hoping it triggers some sensation in an otherwise dead organ. Thanks high blood pressure, diabetes, drinking, and living the good life…and if that doesn’t work, I can always recruit her for the DrunkenStepfather Charity Beach Volleyball league, training involves getting my 5 foot 6 ass shit off the high shelf in the kitchen and changing lightbulbs for me without a ladder while I talk dirty…”Oh yeah girl, screw that in, you like reaching don’t you, you like that you can dunk a basketball on regulation net like Miami Heat, while wearing heels, you genetically modified food eating monster….”…cuz in case you haven’t left the house in years, girls are tall as fuck now, with legs that excite me.

Posted in:Karlie Kloss

2013

31

May

Natallia Krauchanka for Vanity Fair Italia of the Day

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At least once a day I like to look at models like Natallia Krauchanka and remind myself that they are the ones who beat Russian Human Trafficking, because their friends, girls just like them, are locked in a basement somewhere with armed guard making them do whatever they are told on cam for 5 dollars an hour that they don’t see a penny of because they are too busy being locked up in hell sex worker prison…while these ones are out booking modelling jobs, sucking dick they want to suck, not dick they are forced to suck, while looking good doing it. Normally I like the underdog, but today, I like the winner and that winner is Natallia Krauchanka, even if it means we’re all losers cuz we can’t get her pissing on command for 5 dollars a minute.

Posted in:Natallia Krauchanka

2013

31

May

Paz Vega Hot for Haper’s Bazaar Mexico of the Day

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Paz Vega is in a Bathing Suit in Harper’s Bazaar Mexico….

I just have no idea who Paz Vega is….other than some Spanish Actress pushing 40 who is best known for being in who gives a fuck…she’s in a bathing suit for a magazine and she’s not too old or too fat..for me to ignore, even if she was old and fat I’d still be looking, but maybe it is cuz her name is so fucking stupid sounding…and I love that shit…you know hot for weird ethnic names since my name is Jesus, which is like Bob in Mexico, but for some reason a joke here to you ignorant hick motherfuckers.

Posted in:Paz Vega