DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

26

Apr

Miley Cyrus Cleavage for Elle of the Day

Miley Cyrus is on the cover of the June issue of Elle and she’s showing off her perky little Disney Hormonal Therapy tits, that have given her 21 year old ass a more youthful look and feel….Disney has it all figured out. I mean keep the talent young enough looking so that when they start chain smoking to deal with never having a childhood, you know coupled with drinking, drugs and anything repress the pain, they can still be cast to play a 15 year old, if corporate decides it’s time for a Hannah Montana movie. I guess all that Lohan shit taught them to look into science. I mean if the technology exists, use it….like I would like to use Miley in pretty wholesome ways, if you consider anal wholesome, which I do…I mean all the christians holding onto their V card are doing it.

Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2013

26

Apr

40 Year Old Avril Lavigne’s Song About Being 17 of the Day

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Old timer Avril Lavigne has a song about her youth….

I can’t believe she’s still milking that one trick pony she rode in on. I mean she’s probably pushing 40 by now, yet she still dresses like a 17 year old, and writes song about being 17, even though you know she probably doesn’t remember being 17 because it was so long ago. I think we call this knowing her market, but more importantly knowing shit lyrics that speak to 17 year olds, you know low level smut with lyrics like “acting stupid for fun”….”not caring about anything”….”cuz we were 17″….shut the fuck up cunt. Somone needs this twat sent back to Canada so we can do what needs to be done to her Canadian beaver….that has got out of line….you know take it out back and have it shot, stuffed and mounted. You know cuz either we put her out of her misery, or she becomes the source of our misery.

I mean seriously, her career has been going on for 15 years, I would have assumed she’d be a has been stripper by now. Where did it all go wrong ?

Here are the hottest Avril Lavigne pictures I could find on such short notice..

Posted in:Avril Lavigne

2013

26

Apr

Tila Tequila Lives and Has Powers of the Day

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If you’re wondering where Tila Tequila has been all your life, you know since she fell off the map when she lost her show and her mind and fell into a drug fueled downward spiral and I know you aren’t wondering where Tila Tequila has been, but more wondering who Tila Tequila is, because she’s that fucking useless….Well, she’s been honing her talent of magician who can contort energy for Youtube so that everyone things she’s crazy and that she gets a video with more than 100,000 views, since the last time that happened was years ago and it only happened because she stripped like it was Myspace and she just landed Playboy, the root of all this shit that is Tila Tequila.

As amateur as it is, it’s all strategic, and I spent with Tila Tequila when she was at her peak and on TV, she didn’t even drink, and wouldn’t let anyone touch her or her hair.

The highlight of her career wasn’t fake friends on myspace leading to a TV show thanks to MTV having no understanding of the internet or good content, it wasn’t when the show was cancelled, it wasn’t that barely anyone cared about her, I mean they didn’t even bother mocking her demise, IT WASN’T HER SEX TAPE she was that irrelevant…the highlight, as far as I’m concerned, is that she had this “Army” of losers, that had her back and singled me out one day on twitter…but maybe I’m just being selfish. make ti all about me.

Watch her insane video that’s not even insane.

Here she is modeling bikinis before she turned lesbian, lost her mind, etc…..

BUY HER SEX TAPE

Posted in:Tila Tequila

2013

26

Apr

Vida Guerra Brings Her Huge Disproportionate Booty to the Beach of the Day

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Here’s Vida Guerra’s 40 year old ass in a bikini. I don’t know if much more needs to be said about it….

It is kinda an entity of it’s own, that speaks for itself in picture, where no words need to be said, just the confusion on our faces trying to understand what it is we’re looking at, is enough.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS

Posted in:Vida Guerra

2013

26

Apr

Hayden Panettiere Period Video of the Day

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This is probably one of the worst Vine videos of all time….not because it stars Hayden Panettiere, even though she does nothing for me, not even with her implants, but because they are talking about periods and there’s just nothing worse than girls talking about their periods. I get it happens, sometimes I even fuck periods, but that doesn’t mean I want to hear about the shit/blood, or more importantly, it doesn’t give a bitch the right to complain, act moody, overeat and cause problems in my fucking life. So whether Hayden Panettiere showing off her tattoos and broad manly shoulders, trying to be funny on set of Nashville, or my fucking wife, who luckily is obese and hasn’t had her period in a decade, the shit is equally not fucking hot, unless you have a period fetish, and some of you do, I guess fertility, post-puberty, blood excites you, creep. So this one’s for you.

Here are some promo pics I probably posted last month on set promoting her implants / her new show….depending on who you talk to…there are two school of Hayden Panettiere analysts.

Posted in:Hayden Panettiere

2013

26

Apr

Lily Aldridge Boring for Victoria’s Secret of the Day

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I like fast fashion as much as any Bangladeshi garment factory worker. I mean there’s just something so awesome about producing shit overseas, you know taking the jobs away from Americans who could use the jobs, and exploiting third world countries, paying them 38 dollars a month to work 50 hours a week, making garbage quality product with little to no craftsmanship or design, to shit out in retail stores and to make women think they need to buy the shit for 80 times what it cost to make it, all because of the way they marketed it.

You know, making 2 dollar bras, selling them for 50 bucks, and using 10 dollars per bra to pay people like Lily Aldridge to model it in some primetime TV infomercial and 15 dollar a bra to cover overhead like rent in their shitty stores, or these catalog campaigns that suck, leaving 23 dollars in profit, to sustain the 5 billion dollars in revenue they make a fucking year.

It’s pretty disgusting, but what isn’t disgusting is girls in lingerie! Yay.

Even if I preferred groupie slut Lily Aldridge when she was a tampon ad model fucking rockstars…and not some VS model married to one….but ultimately who cares. It is all evil and we are the ones to blame.

Posted in:Lily Aldridge

2013

26

Apr

Demi Moore’s Monster Nipple Lives of the Day

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Show NSFW Content

It’s good to know, that after years of surgery, 90 year old Demi Moore, still has her nipple. It hasn’t fallen off due to too much tinkering….actually, I could have gone on the rest of my life without knowing that, because Demi Moore, despite having sex with young people, is a monster, in a world where there are so many nipples that aren’t loosely attached to monsters, she’s pretty much obsolete and outdated and was never even hot. She’s the Motorola Razr of pussy in an Smart Phone world….Enjoy.

Posted in:Demi Moore|NSFW

2013

26

Apr

Ashley Tisdale Clowning in a Photoshoot of the Day

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Ashley Tisdale makes me laugh. I’ve been writing about her FIT BODY / Bad Face for a while, and I just can’t seem to get enough of it.

I think it is because I know that she knows she’s not hot, but that she tries to be as hot as she can in photoshoots, because she’s come this far, she can’t just brown paper bag herself all the time, like she does with the paparazzi, but she can duck face.

I mean if she thought she was hot, she wouldn’t have got plastic surgery in the first place, she would have just owned her look. Instead, she does all she can to smoke and mirror it, from fitness to this nonsense, and for some reason, she’s growing on me, I kind of appreciate the ugly duckling fighting for her right to be seen, even if it stems from delusion and being a spoiled entitled cunt, but I am probably only into it thanks to the fit body part, cuz with a fit body, a bad face hardly even exists. Fact.

Posted in:Ashley Tisdale

2013

26

Apr

Selena Gomez Album Promo Shoot of the Day

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Selena Gomez is taking her lesbian lover Justin Bieber’s lead and hitting the music scene, with her own album and tour, because she doesn’t need to piggyback on his undeserving success, she’s got her own undeserving success to milk the fuck out of before it is too late…and as far as I’m concerned, she’s already fucking failed.

I mean, she had an opportunity with this album to actually re-invent herself, you know even as a one hit wonder pop tart, she could have branded this shit anyway she wanted to, and instead of doing something hot, or outrageous, or that I could jerk off to like she was Rihanna, she’s in fucking low level catlog looking pics you’d find in a flyer for a local department store. Seriously garbage.

That’s not to say I expected this girl to have a clue as to what was up, but her team should learn how to launch her, package her, and exploit her better. Seriously.

Posted in:Selena Gomez

2013

26

Apr

A Couple Hipster Bitches Lookin Hot for Vice Magazine of the Day

1 Comment »

Vice Magazine owes me money.

Before they sold to MTV to bankroll their media/news company, they were a hipster magazine that was available free in every trendy store across North America that could lie to advertisers about their relevance and reach, because magazines don’t have Google Analytics.

When people stopped giving a fuck about magazines, they hit the internet and were trying to figure shit out, and in doing that would buy traffic from me, only they didn’t pay me the last few months.

Which makes me mad. Because I need every dollar I can get. Since I am not running with 100,000,000 dollars from MTV.

So every time I see them on HBO, even if deep down, what they are doing, is probably needed in a society filled with idiots who watch CNN and believe what they are told. I yell at the TV.

I mean Gonzo, first hand journalism and misadventures challenging what’s going on in the world is nothing genius, but at least someone is doing it with corporate money, it’s better that MTV finances this than Jersey Shore.

It turns out they are also doing fashion shoots with hipster chicks with corporate money, money they didn’t pay, making me feel like in a way I fucking financed this shoot, executive producer this shit.

So that’s why I am posting it.

If you care, they were shot by an ex-instagram follower of mine….the break-up was devastating. But the good news is his pics look like they were shot on instagram.

All this to say, I like hot hipsters, even if I hate who they work for and what they represent all owned by MTV and shit.