DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

18

Feb

Kate Upton for Skullcandy of the Day

The smartest thing Skullcandy did for their brand was lock Kate Upton into a contract, because a few weeks ago, I went through their youtube channel and every other video they did, I’m talking with known people, got all of 10,000 views, while this pig drives millions….

Tits get hits and she’s got a lot of tit…so it just makes sense that people watch….even if the whole thing is a pile of talentless, unfunny shit, that doesn’t make sense which is appropriate cuz Kate Upton’s fame doesn’t make sense……her body is sloppy, she’s built like she’s 40 and at 19, you know that’s gonna end real fucking bad….but in this window of opportunity, you know her 5 minutes, everyone’s celebrating…..

What a disaster….

Posted in:Kate Upton

2013

18

Feb

Some Model Titties for Dazed & Confused of the Day

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Some of these titty models for fashion include Flo Dron, Weronika Hetnar & Zlata Mangafic….all of these titty models for fashion are models I have never heard of, which is kinda exciting because you know that out there lies a pile of women just eager to be on camera….so eager that they’ll let me take pics of them topless for the exposure this site can give them on my fucking Motorola Razr, cuz I’ll pretend that shit is trendy, high concept and art….and they will believe it cuz there is nothing more that they want that more twitter followers…living a dream I’m willing to exploit and apparently so is Dazed & Confused magazine….cuz new talent come topless and inexpensive….

Posted in:NSFW|Weronika Hetnar|Zlata Mangafic

2013

18

Feb

Ariana Grande Mounts Jeanette McCurdy of the Day

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So the next generation of poptarts older dudes with kids in this demographic lust after because it is the only show they are allowed to watch….making little sex pots out of otherwise innocent, annoying, teen girls just trying to live the Disney child star dream….are Arinana Grande and Jeanette McCurdy…..who was lovely enough to follow me on twitter this weekend cuz she knows we have a magical connection….just not one as great as she has with Ariana Grande…as they mount each other fully clothed…in what I think at least 100 people have masturbated to already…..that I don’t find all that erotic…cuz my erotic threshold is far more depraved and twisted….but then again….maybe jerking off to two innocent girls just fooling around fully clothed, not trying to be erotic, is twisted ina and of itself…you know like those dude who expose themselves to girls on their way to work or school, like shit dude this is not a porno this is just me going to school…what went wrong in your life to make that porno to you…kinda thing…..but here’s the pic anyway…I’ll let you be in charge of what you do with it….I’m just the delivery man.

Posted in:Ariana Grande|Jeanette McCurdy

2013

18

Feb

Victoria’s Secret Swim Video of the Day

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Behati Prinsloo is in some Victoria’s Secret Pics I’ve Probably Already Posted Cuz Victoria’s Secret pics are all the Same….

Here’s the 2013 SWIM promo video with some shitty as fuck Bieber music…..that luckily when can mute…cuz I’m not at the stage of creepy pervert who needs Bieber playing when sneaking into bedrooms at night….if anything that tween shit…annoys me…

Posted in:Behati Prinsloo

2013

18

Feb

Selena Gomez and/or Vanessa Hudgens Strikes a Pose for Social Media of the Day

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I don’t know if it is racism, or just not caring, when it comes to trying to differentiate Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens…because as far as I’m concerned they are virtually the same thing….the token ethnic looking girl….who battles with her weight….and does whatever it takes for publicity, whether it is dating a gay pop star or dating a gay costar….or taking nude pics at 17 of your bush that you shaved earlier that day but it grows back so fast with the whole being a fucking monkey thing…

Now they are both collectively trying to re-invent themselves, together, doing Harmony Korine smut, and I guess these pics are from the wild and crazy life of a poptart promotional tour….who cares….just look a how they pose though….

Posted in:Selena Gomez|Vanessa Hudgens

2013

18

Feb

Gina Gershon’s Shitty See Thru of the Day

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Gina Gershon is some 50 year old pile of Botox who was in my favorite movie of all time Cocktail…..and my second favorite movies Showgirls….and she doesn’t look a day over “She’s a fucking robot sent here to eat our fucking babies”….you see cuz there’s something hilarious about Botox and that is that when a bitch is 50 and has less wrinkles than a 20 year old, you know her skin taught like a condom, not that you have that problem and either do I, but I assume her face is what it is like….not that any of that matters, what matters is that she’s in a shitty see through dress and you can see her menopausal tits in their menopausal bra….and I guess that’s erotic to some of you so Imma bring it.

Posted in:Gina Gershon

2013

18

Feb

Sara Jean Underwood Still Has Fake Tits of the Day

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In case you were wondering….Sara Jean Underwood still has her shitty implants, because despite her TV stint, she’s still just a fucking stripper who made it to Playboy and that to me is what defines her now and for the rest of time…even if she goes onto win some oscar for playing a retard tranny immigrant who was raped by her dad….you know cuz the Oscars love storylines like that….

Either way, she’s getting interviewed at some event…and she’s doing some burping…and it is digusting….but I hate when girls burp..even when they burp up cum…cuz it’s just vulgar, trashy and makes me want to throw up….

She’s also pretending to be a geek cuz she put 4 years pretending to be a geek to lure a geek fanbase…so she’s not gonna ever admit that. It is her obvious but effective marketing strategy….

Posted in:Sara Jean Underwood

2013

18

Feb

Some Miley Cyrus in a Wife Beater and Not Bra for Social Media of the Day

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The only think I like about what lesbians have brought to the world….other than bootleg sperm donor black market…is the no bra/wife beater look…..because in the late 90s….lesbians didn’t want to be objectified as women but instead want the freedoms of men…and can’t let a bra oppress them more than their vaginas already do….so they go out to parks, parades and lesbian night clubs topless, or in wife beaters that are sheer enough that they should be topless…and despite the lack of sex appeal of the lesbian….it has spilled out to the mainstream…where more than just lesbians wear the wifebeaters now….everyday hipster chicks do to…and apparently so do bored, trapped in their prison that is their house on their pile of money thanks to selling their soul to the entertainment industry, forcing them to stage photoshoots for their virtual fans, because they have nothing else to do…and I like it…ALL OF IT…the whole sell your soul and suffer package deal….coupled with a tight fit body in a beater…making Miley magical…

Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2013

18

Feb

Kelly Hall is Today’s Page 3 Girl of the Day

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Everyone knows that the only models that count…you know the only “REAL” models out there…are these UK Glamour models….who aren’t all that hot, or even photogenic, you know who would never be considered for modeling jobs, unless it was for a friend with a t-shirt company or a car wash that needed someone for an ad or flyer….because they are short, kinda dumpy and not the standard dimensions of an actual model, but they have these tits and this willingness to get topless for the camera, and that in and of itself is worth celebrating….you know that an average looking girl can get so far all because she’s a fucking C-cup that’s willing to show her C-cup….and it’s nice to see old values of a male dominated world…where titties get girls ahead still exists….

Here’s Kelly Hall, she’s today’s Page 3 girl.

Posted in:Kelly Hall|NSFW

2013

18

Feb

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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Yes, that says stepGIRL on her arm….via our friends at GGW

So….a girl I had sex with once and didn’t finish with reported her pregnancy to social media today…to which I responded “I hope it isn’t mine, cuz if my sperm have the athletic ability I have, it’d take about 10 years to climb up the fallopian tube…”…to which everyone laughed and laughed except the girl who I had sex with…cuz let’s face it you’re not supposed to have sex with your half sister…and even if she wasn’t my half sister she’d probably be ashamed…that’s just how I’m living people.

LOL Cat Video of the Day – VIDEO
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Samantha Ronson’s Mother Tells Us What We Already Knew About Lindsay Lohan
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Let’s Laugh at Commercials From the 90’s – VIDEO
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Siawa is Sexy and Stripped Down and I Like It (NSFW)
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LeAnn Rimes Sues Dentist Because Her Horse Teeth Don’t Make Her Pretty Enough To Sing
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Celebrity Tweets of the Day
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20 Celebrity Couples You’ll Never Guess Dated in Real Life
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Free Cam Shows For Some Monday Sexy (NSFW)
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Web Cam Slut Tried to Lick Herself (NSFW)
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The 20 Hottest Photos of Marissa Jade
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I;ve Always Been a Fan of Jordan Carver (NSFW)
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Surfing with the Dolphins, No Biggie – VIDEO
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Posted in:stepLINKS