DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

28

Jan

Teresa Palmer Tampon String of the Day

Teresa Palmer is some 26 year old babe from Australia who has been making the move over to Hollywood since 2007…and has starred in some pretty insignificant movies…but now she’s finally broke through and will be tstarring in the Zombie version of Twilight called “warm bodies’….and now she’s doing the proper press route needed for her name to hit the public in the face while her movie’s marketing is getting so much play….cuz that’s just how publicist work…and unlike the socialites before her….she’s taking a new spin on an old trick….that involves showing a little panty…cuz panty is harmless and honorable cry for attention…but this innovator’s throwing in some tampon string…cuz not being pregnant is also honorable….

I liked it so much – I made a gif.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PCIS
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Teresa Palmer

2013

28

Jan

Jennifer Lawrence’s Wardrobe Malfunction Fail of the Day

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When I hear there’s a wardrobe malfunction…my first response is anger caused by the amount of hate I have for that expression and whoever came up with it at the Janet Jackson Superbowl titty flash….my second response is to hate anyone who is keeping it alive by using it in their articles and posts about these kinds of things….and the third is “where are the fucking pics, can I see ass hole or pussy lip…”….

Today’s Jennifer Lawrence ripped dress that was called a Wardrobe Malfunction by everyone I hate….had the potential of being fucking exciting….because ever she’s admitted she has a fat dumpy ass capable of causing damage…but instead the top and bottom split reveling nothing but a little thigh and/or knee…..in what the dress was supposed to do….what a waste.

Spoiler alert – Jennifer Lawrence wins.

Posted in:Jennifer Lawrence

2013

28

Jan

Erin Heatherton Not Modeling Lingerie of the Day

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Every once in a while someone talented in one business decides to cross over into another…and ruin whatever credibility she built up in one….by failing at the other…instead of sticking with what she’s good at….this is like Lohan the actor releasing music….Jordan the basketball player taking up baseball…only the bikini model…turned non-bikini model version….and it’s safe to say “send this body back to where she came from”….not that trashy low level photoshoots with fake autographs on them aren’t a step up from getting paid millions to barely cover her vagina…oh right…yeah they totally aren’t a step up from what we are used to….bummer.

Posted in:Erin Heatherton

2013

28

Jan

Camille Rowe for 3 Suisses Swimwear of the Day

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Camille Rowe is a model who normally poses topless…but I figure if you can’t get her topless you might as well get her in a bikini…even if that bikini is barely erotic…except maybe for the one hard nipple pic – that escaped being edited out by not being a Victoria’s Secret tame as hell shoot…but instead being some sporty bootleg ROXY/Billabong looking shit that is hardly the kind of bikini shoot I could really jerk off to….

I mean I get that these models need to go corporate to pay for their lavish lifestyles when men and the client isn’t paying…but as a corporation hiring her, they should have a responsibility to be true to her as an artist….and artist who normally gets topless.

Posted in:Camille Rowe

2013

28

Jan

Emma Greenwall and Stephanie Fantauzzi Naked in Shameless of the Day

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I don’t watch Shameless….because I am too busy doing more important things like staring at my wife while she sleeps contemplating whether tonight will finally be the night it all ends for her….it’s far more exciting….and aspirational thinking and better for the soul than seeing some drunk deadbeat dad and his slut kids doing white trash things….cuz I live that shit and prefer to not spend my spare time on it….not to mention I don’t have a TV, but I do have the internet and thus access to the good parts….like Emma Greenwall and Stephanie Fantauzzi nude….

Here’s that Emma chick….

Here’s that Stephanie Chick

Posted in:Emma Greenwall|NSFW|Stephanie Fantauzzi

2013

28

Jan

Severina Vuckovic Bikini Photoshoot for Old Times of the Day

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These pics are from August…but when it comes to Croatian superstar bikini pics…they usually take a good 6 months to matter….and even after those 6 months…they don’t really matter…they are just a good reminder or excuse to post the
SEX TAPE SHE ONCE STARRED IN …..that didn’t make her Kardashian famous…cuz Croatian singers don’t matter….but that should have led to a porn career cuz she’s pretty good at sex tapes…..

TO SEE HER SEX TAPE
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Severina Vuckovic

2013

28

Jan

Sophie Turner in a Bikini of the Day

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Sophie Turner is an interesting case of low level model with a dream….a dream that didn’t include her Law Degree she was in school for….a law degree most low level models wish they were capable of getting….but were just too retarded to pull off…..

So as instead of working that gig….she decided to focus on getting half naked and showing off her fake tits and fat ass….unsure of where that could take her into her 30s….she decided to risk it….cuz sometimes the logical 1,000,000 dollars a year you’re already lined up to make as a lawyer….for the rest of your working life….is not as appealing as the 1,000,000 dollars you’ll make in your entire modeling career…if some hip hop act pick you up and get you pregnant…

She’s gone back to law because I guess, like us, she’s figured out that she’s never had a paying modeling job and it was a dumb strategy….but she still has the urge…the craving…the desire to be wanted…so she produces pics of herself in a bikini and that’s ok with me….cuz she’s got a body.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Sophie Turner

2013

28

Jan

Ellen Hollman Naked for Spartacus of the Day

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You may remember Ellen Hollman as Maayke in Malcolm in the Middle….and Melinda Murray in Victorious….and Kate in True Love….and who the fuck cares she’s naked in Spartacus….which is a nice transition from G rated teen shit to R rated TV shit that’s essentially just soft core porn…it’s a litmus test of just how serious and willing a girl is to really make it….

Posted in:Ellen Hollman|NSFW

2013

28

Jan

Miley Gets Hot for Cosmo of the Day

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Miley Cyrus is in the latest Cosmo and she looks fucking awesome…but I may just be saying that because I think I love her…at least in pictures cuz unlike all you haters calling her a dyke with her dyke hair…I am a contemporary thinker who is down with the youth, their styles and the time in some finger on the pulse shit…and I also know first hand…thanks to alopecia and one of my first girlfriends that no one but me wanted thanks to alopecia…. that cumming on a girl with a bald head’s bald head is a glorious fucking experience,…even if in Miley’s case it’s just half of her head…

The reality is that even if she was dyking out or holding hands with another girl at the farmer’s market buying organ vegan food….wearing a prosthetic cock like she was Chaz Bono….I’d still be into this cuz she’s built exactly how I like em built….and when in picture we don’t have to deal with all her miserable and horrible flaws….miserable and horrible flaws I’d be more than happy to K-Fed.

Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2013

28

Jan

Kate Moss Bush for LOVE Magazine of the Day

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I love Kate Moss….so I am so happy to see that unlike most 40 year old models…she’s still bringing it….and by it I mean her bush..to magazines….and I fucking love bush…under any and all circumstances…it is an essential accessory to the vagina….that girls have lost sight of….it is like a top hat…that makes the vagina a far classier experience…especially in Kate Moss’ case…she needs all the class she can get….even if I see her as an angel sent from heaven…that bush, despite being trimmed and shaved over the last 20 years….has seen some serious shit….those hair follicles are so well traveled and experienced…with some real questionable people….that I just want to know what they smell and taste like….partially for sexual reasons…but mainly for science…

All this to say….welcome back Kate Moss…even though as far as I’m concerned you never went away…