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2012

14

Nov

Penelope Cruz in the 2013 Campari Calendar of the Day

Lady in fucking red…holy shit….turns out that I am down with any alcohol company who doesn’t advertise on this site because they are snobs and too busy spending 100s of thousands of dollars on Penelope Cruz, the Oscar winning Spanish actress you may or may not have heard of, but have probably seen her fucking nose, at some point or another….because that’s the signature feature that she’s helped big nosed women come to terms with over the years….as the media told us she was beautiful…

I know this cuz I used to fuck a girl with a big fucking nose…I’m talking offensively big…and she was convinced she looked like Penelope Cruz….when really…she looked like a girl with a big fucking nose…but that didn’t stop her from getting with the likes of me…when really she should have been with far less attractive men…but Penelope Cruz got her through it…like she is getting through me…with this hot…red…glamour shoot for Campari….

I want to dirty up this high quality, high production loveliness with my genitals….and she is not even naked or not a 40 year old mom….

Posted in:Penelope Cruz

2012

14

Nov

Lindsay Lohan’s Trashy Slut Attempt at Art of the Day

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There’s a pretty silly “indy” internet film coming out called The Canyons that is starring Lohan and a pornstar named James Deen that I guess is her attempt at honing her art…or her craft…to break free from all the negative press and to be taken seriously as an actress instead of a Disney puppet that has fallen off…

I get that the “style” of the movie is meant to be porno quality….low level…shit acting…but I think that’s just their way of addressing their shit actors and porn stars…..

Serious bad fucking strategy….nail in the coffin level move on her part if getting back in the scene was on her fucking todo list…

What a waste of great implants.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2012

14

Nov

Madonna Does Gangnam Style to Stay Relevant of the Day

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The internet is ruining lives and humiliating people….Things like this make a mockery of everything that society has to offer…and the fucked up thing is that people get excited about this viral video shit going mainstream…internet MEMEs are taking over the world…and that is a big reason why the general population is substantially more handicapable…this is the shit they find important…and the proof is in the Youtube Views of everything Gangnam style….

I guess this is an example of just how hard Madonna has fallen off…bringing this guy to her concert…that’s weak….

Video Via – my friend Mark Ebner …who is also concerned with pop culture….

Posted in:Madonna

2012

14

Nov

Helen Hunt Full Frontal Nude Scene in The Sessions of the Day

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Helen Hunt is in a new movie about a paralyzed due to Polio poet who is a virgin and decides to hire her to have sex with him…it is called The Sessions, but I call it 40 year old virgin, the Oscar winning edition…

Luckily, like all hookers…or “sex surrogates” as they call her in the movie…she gets naked, shows her old lady hangers…and some bush…cuz I’m guessing if this 40 year old version is paralyzed due to Polio…it takes place in an era before the bikini wax…

The scary thing in all this is that these pics some Pirate took…totally turns me on….

I blame Mad About You circa 1994….or maybe I blame the fact that Helen Hunt Has got bush..cuz bush is dead with today’s youth…but as an old as fuck dude…I Remember…I’ll Never Forget…

Posted in:Helen Hunt|NSFW

2012

14

Nov

Gabriela Rabelo Lovely for Macy’s Lingerie of the Day

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This Brazilian Model Is Awesome…even in shitty underwear shoots for Macy’s that remind me of jerking off to the Sears catalog in an era before the Internet….only with a lot less anxiety…because my foster mom won’t get mad and make me do borderline criminal things to me…to punish me when she gets home from working at the diner when she finds her Sears Catalog desecrated, violated, raped by someone who isn’t even her biological son…

I really hate lingerie catalog shoots….and I always have…with their edited nipples and mall family portrait quality….but it is the Holidays and time for all the stores to push this shit like it is crack cocaine to all the useless husbands who don’t know what to buy their wives they hate…..but this Gabriela Rabelo makes this Macy’s shit worth lookin’ at….

Posted in:Gabriela Rabelo

2012

14

Nov

Anna Draganska Modeling Lingerie Amazingly of the Day

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Anna Draganska is Polish…but unlike most poles…she’s not in the circus due to great juggling skills and/or bear training skills…..she’s not a gymnast…or an Olympic weight lifter….she’s not in line for rationed bread…and she’s not in a catalog for mail order brides…..

I admit, my knowledge of anyone eastern European or Russian is from an era when they were all behind the Iron Curtain during the Cold War..and as an ignorant man, I don’t feel the need to update my preconceived notions…but I do feel a need to stare at her half naked pics….cuz Communist USSR survivors…who were probably born after communism…and are actually daughters of billionaires…can be pretty fucking spectacular to look at….

Posted in:Anna Draganska

2012

14

Nov

Rozanna Purcell in Shiny Lingerie for the Sun of the Day

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She is Miss Universe Ireland 2010 and now she’s miss girl who’s shiny cheap looking panties I want to masturbate on to see my sperm drip off of….but would fear that my sperm would dissolve the shit…and not due to it’s toxicity thanks to hard drinking and bad living…but do to the cheap as fuck lookin quality of the fabric…you know some “don’t get this wet” it will turn into something horrible and poisonous like sulphuric acid and that should be recalled from China….if it wasn’t jacked up against this Miss Universe Ireland 2010 Rozanna Purcell’s hot body…

But I will say, the cheap panties work for me, they remind me of all I’ve ever known on the caliber of woman I have bedded, and I like how they make her a little less pageant and a lot more pornstar…

Posted in:Rozanna Purcell

2012

14

Nov

Babes who Matter at the CFDA/ VOGUE Fashion Fund Event of the Day

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Events…all events…that I see pictures of celebrities at…no matter how low level that celebrity is…remind me of how insignificant I am…because I was never sent an invite…even though I wouldn’t have gone…not because I am too cool to attend events…but because I don’t like leaving my house…or as I like to call it…my pile of filth…the coffin in which I self destruct…but it’d still be nice to get the invite…you know to be a little less like every birthday party in elementary school I didn’t make the cut for….something I am used to…and a lot more like that stamp of approval I need for my self esteem….from society….and the people who really matter like leaches and latch ons…and scenesters…and social climbers…who aim to attach themselves to…cuz they think you are relelvant or the next big thing…cuz you are at the right place with all the right people according to themn…..I need these vapid empty people in fashion to like me…for me to feel like I matter….I’m being sarcastic….I’m just happy lookin at the pics from the comfort of my soiled couch…next to my unshowered, cheese smelling, wife.

TO SEE ALL THE RED CARPET AMAZING PICS OF PEOPLE LIKE ASHLEY GREENE, CHRISTINA RICCI, EMMA STONE
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:stepEVENTS

2012

14

Nov

Jenna Pietersen Modeling Lingerie of the Day

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Jenna Pietersen is apparently some SI model from South Africa….who is not very famous, we’re talking under 3,000 twitter followers, who I may or may not love looking at in lingerie…who I may or may not have emailed asking her to be my girlfriend…without putting any strategy into my seduction process…cuz she’ll likely just think it’s some Nigerian scam or spam and delete my tender, loving, romantic words…..while I could have charmed her like I charm all the other models I have sex with in my life….but her rejection is ok…I can take it…and I deserve it for not playing the situation right….but I think I come out a winenr…cuz I don’t have to take her on a date to see her in lingerie…..she gives that to everyone for free….My kind of girl…which is pretty much why I want to sing her love songs til the end of fucking time….

She’s a Blogger…So If Masturbating to Her Pics Isn’t Enough for you Desensitized Perverts…You can also Masturbate to Her Writing…While I Don’t Masturbate to Her Cuz I Respect her as my Soul Mate
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Jenna Pietersen

2012

14

Nov

The Rest of Rihanna’s GQ Shoot of the Day

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The other day I posted the December GQ Cover featuring Rihanna…cuz I am always first to the gate…and now I’m posting the rest of the pics…cuz I like or at least respect her…as much as I respect any hooker…which is not very much…but more than I respect girls who don’t slut out…when they should be slutting out…even if they don’t have to slut out…

To clarify….Rihanna doesn’t have to be posing half naked ever…but she does…while girls who should pose half naked to help pay off their debt, student loans, etc….don’t….because they are losers with morals who don’t want to cheapen themselves…while people like Rihanna….keep fucking winning….

TO READ THE ARTICLE IN GQ IF THE PICS AREN’T ENOUGH
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Rihanna