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2012

01

Nov

Bérénice Marlohe is Pretty Fantastic for FHM of the Day

Bérénice Marlohe is from France, she’s 33 and sheis a Bond girl in Skyfall…a movie I will definitely not be seeing because James Bond movies are the fucking worst….especially the modern ones…and the only redeeming thing about them is the sexy girls they cast to be the love interest….even if they like to keep shit G rated to sell tickets to the youth….and never use them to their full Euro potential of willing to get naked in public for free….you see cuz even the mainstream movies I’ve seen from France….involve actual penetration….the way movie sex is supposed to be…

Either way, she was in FHM….cuz FHM is really up to speed on new it girls who need exposure at the right time….in hopes of saving the dying magazine brand…and I am more than happy to stare at the pics…even if they aren’t all that amazing…but they are of a new star…I’ll be sure to keep my eye for her topless pics….like it is my fucking job cuz it is my fucking job.

Posted in:Bérénice Marlohe

2012

01

Nov

Avril Lavigne’s Sailer Costume of the Day

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I lost the little respect I had for Avril Lavigne when I found out she was engaged to the guy in Nickelback…because that band is the worst pile of fucking shit to come out of Canada…it pretty much offends me and the lead singer’s face annoys me…and knowing that anyone would willingly hang out with him…or more importantly have sex with him…especially when they don’t have to cuz they are Avril Lavigne and have their own money that make groupie-ing out to garbage unnecessary….makes me hate them by association……

Not that I ever really had respect for Avril Lavigne….I mean 30 year old pretending to be a 15 year old suburban mall girl filled with angst never appealed to me….if anything those 15 year old emo kids annoy me when they are 15….and feel that they should know better…

But I did find her ex-husband’s costume mocking her pretty funny….

And I don’t really mind her in a generic sailer costume like she’s a little slut…..you know out of her oversized sweater she wears to hide her cutting and tears….because sluts are ultimately what life is all about.

Posted in:Avril Lavigne

2012

01

Nov

Amanda Bynes Naked in the Tanning Salon of the Day

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I just got this amazing email:

Amanda Bynes caused quite a scene during a recent visit to Beach Bum Tanning in NYC. An eyewitness tells In Touch that the troubled starlet shocked customers when she appeared in main salon area — completely naked!

After purchasing a Mystic spray-tan session, the 26-year-old was set up in a private room — but it wasn’t long before Amanda strode back out into the main salon area in search of goggles.

Only problem: She wasn’t wearing any clothes! “She walked out of the room completely naked,” the eyewitness tells In Touch. “She didn’t seem to care that everyone saw her naked.”

“She seemed totally out of it,” the eyewitness says. “She took her time walking back to the Mystic room, dragging her fingers along the wall and smiling at customers who passed her.”

The eyewitness adds: “There was definitely something wrong with her.”

Best fucking news ever….

I want to see the pics….someone out there…an employee of Mystic tan…must have security footage of this happening….and I need it…because Amanda Bynes, despite her weird face…has a hot little body I want to see naked….

I hope this drug addiction, fallen off the radar shit is true…cuz child star turns into porn star would be a nice way to end this Amanda Bynes story….

Posted in:Amanda Bynes

2012

01

Nov

Ashley Tisdale is a Sexy Batman with an Ugly Robin of the Day

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Ashley Tisdale has a pretty good strategy….she’s not hot but she works out…so she can use her fit body as a distraction from her face…that she has had a nose job on…but that hasn’t saved her from a life of averaging looking at best….so she’s got the extra step to make sure she hangs with girls substantially uglier than her…even making them her sidekick in Halloween costumes…to make her look better…the oldest trick in the average looking girl book….you know make sure you’re the hottest in the group so people talk to you….while all these ugly girls she’s with are just too excited to be with a girl from TV to notice what they are being used for…if anything they feel top of the fucking game…..cuz ugly fat girls are pathetic…and I guess Ashley Tisdale knows that.

Posted in:Ashley Tisdale

2012

01

Nov

Kelly Kelly is a Viking of the Day

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Barbie Blank….or Kelly Kelly who legally can’t use that name since it is a registered trademark of the WWF or whatever Wrestling Federation she was a part of before deciding she was good enough to venture out on her own…like all arrogant, cocky sluts at the top of their game….to pursue a career doing god fucking knows what the next step for a stripper looking wrestler’s career is….dressed up like a sexy Viking…a fetish I can’t really understand anyone having…because vikings are big burly unshowered men…..but I guess it’s not about fetishes…it is about Halloween and the ability to make any costume available at the sex shop…all low cut with a push up bra in it….cheesy maybe, but really what the fuck do you expect from a stripper looking girl who is named Barbie Blank….seriously.

Posted in:Kelly Kelly

2012

01

Nov

Sophie Turner is a Lawyer Dressed like a Belly Dancer Slut of the Day

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The nice thing about Twitter or all social media for that matter is that when no one wants to take pics of you…you can always take pics of yourself….

Sophie Turner….Law School student turned failed Glamour Model no one cares enough about that she was forced to go back to Law School to become an actual lawyer as her back-up plan if modeling didn’t work out for her…which it didn’t…can still take pics of herself worth looking at….cuz she may not be a playboy playmate…and no one may want her awesome body in their magazines…but twitter can’t say no to her….and I don’t mind watching.

Here is her Belly Dancer slut costume that must have gone over well at the Law Office she’s doing her articling at yesterday. All those corporate lawyers with wives and kids must have loved asking her to go over contracts…with promises that one day she’ll be a partner…when all she really wants is magazine covers…

The whole thing is kinda sad…failed dreams…and that’s probably why I like it.

Posted in:Sophie Turner

2012

01

Nov

Stella Hudgens Underage Cat Cleavage of the DAy

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Oh shit…Stella Hudgens….16 year old sister to underage porn producer turned actor in such hits as….High School Musical…Vanessa Hudgens….has stolen SELENA GOMEZ’S SHITTY COSTUME only she modified it in a way that included some fucking tit.

Sure…she’s making that idiotic tween duck face…that all idiotic tween girls…especially the vain/slutty ones make because they obviously think it makes them look sexier….but she’s also showing off some tit….in a way that makes me think she’s pulled all the write morals and values from her family of child prostituting stage parents….and an older sister she looks up to who knows a thing or two about getting naked on the internet at 17 for attention….and it kinda works for me….because I know what’s to come…and it is nothing but good things.

Posted in:Stella Hudgens

2012

01

Nov

Selena Gomez Failed at Halloween of the Day

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I don’t know why Selena Gomez is hanging with Ellen dressed like Frankenstein…but I do know that her costume fucking sucks.

Maybe dating Justin Beiber has given her a taste of lesbianism she can’t get out of her mouth…you know since he is a Little Woman….leading to birkenstocks in socks, flannel, organic raw vegan diets, furgal eco travel in youth hostels, volunteering at orphanages, and remember always that penis is the devil….and thus we must not dress in a way that makes them hard…not even on Halloween….

Or maybe, I’m just over reacting.

Posted in:Selena Gomez

2012

01

Nov

Katy Perry’s Halloween Costume Lacks Tit of the Day

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I guess this is a sign of Katy Perry accepting the fact that’s she’s made it…that she’s worth a fucking fortune her hipster poser ass doesn’t actually deserve…knowing that the effort that goes into her stupid poptart songs is virtually none…and the payout is virtually absurd…because she’s not out screaming for attention in her Halloween costume…and by not screaming for attention I mean not showing any fucking cleavage…when cleavage is what made the public ignore her bad skin, bad body, thick cankles and lack of fucking talent….cleavage is what allowed her to pollute our lives all fucking day on heavy radio rotation…brainwashing us to sing along to her garbage…like fucking robots we are….and cleavage is something she’s feels she doesn’t need to exploit anymore…and all I see is a bitch who is getting a little too comfortable….wearing a shitty fucking costume.

Posted in:Katy Perry

2012

01

Nov

Kaley Cuoco Scary on Halloween of the Day

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Kaley Cuoco, or as I like to call her, the young pussy on set that made John Ritter’s heart go pitter patter until it fucking exploded….back when she was on some Teenage Daughter Dating TV show…before getting fat and joined a nerd show as the babe who isn’t babe enough to ignore the nerds…..which is in fact a totally inconvenient name to call her because it consists of too many fucking words….but I got all the time in the world…so here’s the young pussy on set that made John Ritter’s heart go pitter patter until it fucking exploded….back when she was on some Teenage Daughter Dating TV show…before getting fat and joined a nerd show as the babe who isn’t babe enough to ignore the nerd….posting what is probably the worst fucking Halloween picture of all time…wearing a wig, without make up, with bad cleavage, in what I can only assume was one too many glasses of wine decision making….cuz I know she can do better than this…but I guess she figures why bother…nerds are loyal and will like her under any and all circumstances…here’s the pic.

Posted in:Kaley Cuoco