I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2012

26

Mar

Lydia Hearst Topless for Terry Richardson of the Day

For those of you who don’t know….I have a serious love for Lydia Hearst.

She is the one girl who has put up with my constant asshole behavior, and who sees my jokes for what they are….jokes.

She gets that this is the internet and who cares…..and we’ve had a pretty solid internet friendship the last 4 years because of it…it’s one of those horribly rare situations where I respect her hustle…and can’t hate on her because she chooses to model and act….when she could just work for the family empire or live off her savings…..

But instead she makes allour lives better when she is smart enough to get naked for creepy, yet top fashion photographers, probably for free, cuz tits get hits….and they also happen to excite me….

You’re a good girl Lydia Hearst and I’m glad to be your unofficial drunken stepfather…keep up the good as naked as possible work…just next time do it in my mouth/on my face.

Posted in:Lydia Hearst

2012

26

Mar

Eniko Mihalik with a Little Nipple for Vogue Germany of the Day

I’ve posted Hungarian model Eniko Mihalik tits so many times before because she feeed my Hungarian for model titties….yes I just pulled that…and it was horribly executed…but who can really concentrate when some hot model bitch is half naked for fashion, getting paid to be half naked for Fashion, cuz that’s a pre-req for being international models, and being international models is better than being local fucking strippers….except when you are me, and trying try fuck them…in which case local strippers are far more accessible an option….

Posted in:Eniko Mihalik

2012

26

Mar

Lucy Hale in a Bikini with Ashley Benson for Bongo of the Day

Lucy Hale looks like a 12 year old who hasn’ hit puberty yet and who only has a bikini on because her pizza addiction has given her little tits that warrant a bikini.

I don’t get the appeal. I mean, unless that is the appeal, which is some pretty obscure and awkward thing to be into…..

I’m not really familiar with her, but assumed she was some stunted gymnastics bitch on the Olympic team, but it turns out she’s on TV…and now in Bongo ads….despite not being anywhere near a bikini model….remindng us that sometimes, your better used fully clothed….

But since she’s not, I’m gonna look, cuz looking at half naked bitches, whether t is good or bad, is better than not lookng at them….maybe that’s the whole basis of this Bongo bullshit….I get it now. It is all so clear to me.

Posted in:Ashley Benson|Lucy Hale

2012

26

Mar

Trying to Look Up Alessandra Ambrosio’s Skirt to See Her Knocked Up Uterus while she Shaves of the Day

So pregnant, polluted uterus all filled with fetus, bearing Alessandra Ambrosio, decided to shave her legs in public, while I decided to stare at pictures of her, trying to see up her skirt, in efforts to track the damage her first pregnancy left, but more importantly, give a gynecological exam to her new pregnancy, because I’m a pervert like that…and so are you….and because watching a bitch shave her legs for money in public, although fulfilling in many ways…reminding me of a girl I used to fuck who I would always make her shave her cunt in front of a room full of people cuz I liked sharing her coinslot pussy going bald with my friends to torment them with how much luckier I was than they were, is not as fun as watching her vagina and other lady parts….especially when she’s from Brazil, and like Miss Universe Canada, could be slipping a vagina that used to house testicles past us…..if you know what I mean….and if you don’t, you’re an idiot…but I’ll explain, Brazil where she is from, has the best lady-boys in the world. The kind who could easily fake a pregnancy….just ask Gisele….. Get with it….idiot….

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Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio

2012

26

Mar

Camille Rowe Ass for Elle Belgium of the Day

From my extensive, culturally void life, I have learned a few things and one of those things happens to be that amazing things come out of Belgium.

Whether we’re talking the french fries, the chocolate, the beer….brussel sprouts or these hot pics of model Camille Rowe, a model not from Belgium, but she might as well should be, because she’s perfect for Elle Belgium….showing her hot ass and hot tits…in ways I really appreciate…..it’s pretty clear….Belgium has it going on….

Posted in:Camille Rowe

2012

26

Mar

Ashley Greene’s Shitty Ass Flash of the Day

The highlight of Ashley Greene’s career was not signing onto Twilight, to be part of the biggest thing to hit movies since Hunger Games destroyed box offices, making all their money back the first weekend with their first movie in their franchise, although her being on Twilight did make her a household name, something that was probably important to her…..but not as important as when she dated the Jonas Brothers, to further market herself to the tween audience, all while pretending to fuck, like anyone over 17 doesn’t fuck, unless we’re talking about you, but that’s different, because you’re creepy, awkward and a loser….unable to seduce even the ugliest of women cuz you’re too busy jerking off….but I have hope for you, like I had hope for this fake born again virgin for marketing…cuz girls are easy, you just have to learn how to play them….and Ashley Greene is easy too, you just have to promise her more fame, more exposure and be able to contribute to her teams bigger marketing picture….a picture that includes her in fishnets flashing a bit of ass on set….I dig it….almost as much as I dig her fake sexless relationships.


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Posted in:Ashley Greene

2012

26

Mar

Aurdina Patridge in a Bikini of the Day

Unemployed for obvious reasons….like the fact that she has no talent, that she’s s nobody…that her only redeeeming quality is a set of fake tits…that anyone with a rich dad or a saving’s account and a hatred for their tits can compete with her on…not quite a skillset….I mean with a resume that consists of being on one of the worst shows to ever hit MTV, in fact one of the worst shows in the history TV, where she was a secondary character in what was to be the pre-cursor to garbage like Jersey Shore….you know….the shit that paved the way for shit like Jersey Shore to actually exist….clearly giving her a lot time to eat…cuz those thighs aren’t looking 20 anymore….they’re saddle bags the come with a slow metabolism and broken fucking dreams…..but she does still have that rich dad and fake tits….thinks will work out ok for her….there’s always sex tapes, stripping, going back to her naked for the camera whore roots….but lets just hope she scales down the eating and hits the treadmill before that happens….cuz she’s gone downhill…as most girls do…..but she’s half naked in her bikini and I’m not complaining….or maybe I am….I don’t know….I don’t even know what day it is…

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Posted in:Audrina Patridge

2012

26

Mar

Kendra Wilkinson’s in a White Bathing Suit in Vegas and You Shouldn’t Care of the Day

Kendra Wilkinson hosted some shitty event in Vegas because that’s just the kind of bottom feeding trash she is. She brought out her Playboy body that hasn’t been in Playboy for years into a white bathing suit that is see through when wet, that you shouldn’t even really care to see, partially cuz of her retard face, but also cuz of her shitty implants, short legs and the simple fact you can find tons of naked pictures of her on the internet….

In fact, she’s also had a sex tape released, that I assume no one actually bothered watching, that took place when she was 19, with someone more inbred and downs syndrome looking than her, while her meaty cunt flapped in the fucking wind….. I REVIEWED HER SEX TAPE – I KNOW HER SEX TAPE

Something she’s clearly tended 20 years later, in this white bathing suit, that holds everything in place, like a pussy hammock, of a pussy probably taped back, to seem like it’s not a dangly mess.

Again…who fucking cares….if you are into this shit….like real deal low caliber shit…. get the sex tape motherfucker


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Posted in:Kendra Wilkinson

2012

26

Mar

Magdalena Frackowiak Hot as Fuck for Vogue Paris of the Day

Her name is MAGDALENA FRACKOWIAK and she’s some iron curtain, communist rule, suriving because she was probably born after the fall of communism, Polish model, who instead of training bears to balance on beach balls for local carnivals, like the other Pollack’s do, she became a model….a really fucking hot mode….with hot small tits she doesn’t mind showing off , long legs and a face I want to ejaculate on….lick off….then ejaculate on again. Love makes you do very homo erotic things with your own bodily fluids….you know cuz you can’t think straight and shit….

She’s gonna be famous…I feel it…adn that’s way better than rationed bread….also way better than my Polish jokes cuz I don’t know shit about Poland, but I think Magdalena is all I really need to know.

Posted in:Magdalena Frackowiak

2012

26

Mar

Anne V and Irina Shayk Hot Asses in Bikini of the Day


Anne V is that bitch who is fucking that little man from Maroon 5….a band that is essentially the male version of Katy Perry, with ridiculous radio play despite the horrible songs….you know the shit you playout in your head and wonder why the fuck you know this Prince and Michael Jackson hack impersonation act….and realize it is cuz the media controls you….

Irina Shayk is that bitch who is pretending to fuck Ronaldo, the soccer player, who all those homophobe euros from Spain and Portugal and other fish bearing societies love, but can’t accept as a homosexual, cuz it would make their jerking off to him gay, cuz dainty Eurotrash make sense like that in their macho latin roots.

Together they are those bitches with big, hot, asses I wouldn’t mide chipping a tooth on, even if Anne V isn’t all that, she can watch, or masturabte in the corner or some shit, her modeling contract is like a VIP card, that allows her in my sex fantasies, even if she’s not top candiate, especially not when next to this tanned, Russian, Gold digger/hustler with a ridiculous ass…..


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Posted in:Anne V|Irina Shayk