DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2011

03

Feb

Rachel Bilson Lower Leg of the Day

Rachel Bilson was way more interesting when she was boring in a relationship cuz I could blame Star Wars for trapping her in some insanity that is my imagination…It entertained me when she escaped him to go back to LA to focus on her career in some hiking through the Siberian mountains for months to escape Russian communist rule shit…but it turns out she’s just as boring without him…leading me to think he’s not the problem, sure he’s a clown, but clowns are kinda funny if you’re not scared of them cuz one molested you as a child…she’s the problem and a boring bitch can never quite be saved…

Here are her ankles, cuz like a muslim man, sometimes that’s all it takes to get me going and I figure at least one of you is out there like me.

Posted in:Rachel Bilson

2011

03

Feb

Sarah Shahi in her Panties for Esquire of the Day

2 Comments »

Sarah Shahi is on some TV show, now she’s in Esquire and apparently she’s some ethnic mess of a person who proves that inter-racial breeding is the key to making things I am into fucking, but then again I don’t really pay attention to the interbreeding that made monsters resiliant to biological warfare with the ability to survive nuclear holocaust (Khloe Kardashian), I’m more into the pussy I want to explore like it was a deap sea mission and my tongue was the submarine….

Soon enough, we will all be a shade of beige…one harmonious culture with no inbreds…This is a glimpse into that fruitopia.

Posted in:Sarah Shahi

2011

03

Feb

Aubrey O’Day Doesn’t Hide Her Fat of the Day

5 Comments »

I think Aubry O’Day is targeting the fat chick fetishists and/or black dudes, cuz not only is she wearing a tight dress that shows off every roll and fold, but she’s also wearing horizontal stripes, something all fat people know make them look substantially fatter, while carrying a fucking cheesecake….

It’s like she’s embraced her fatness and is loving it cuz it gives people something to talk about when nothing else is going on for her…especially since it’s given her a fucking a place in the world of fat chick lovers all while maintaining the black cock she’s always had..cuz black girls only see white and that’s good enough for them…

Here are the pics…of Aubrey O’Day on the X-Tina Aguilera diet plan…They need to get together and eat it out….

Posted in:Aubrey O'Day

2011

03

Feb

Teresa Palmer Lingerie Pics for Esquire of the Day

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Teresa Palmer is some Australian bitch makin’ moves in Hollywood, who I want to Kangaroo, you know since she’s Australian.

For those of you who don’t know what Kangarooing is, it’s when you climb inside a bitch’s pouch and by pouch I mean her “down under” and by her “down under” I mean her shrimp on the barbie cuz a Dingo ate my baby like it was Crocodile Dundee….and by shrimp on the barbie cuz a Dingo ate my baby like it was Crocodile Dundee….I mean her pussy

Here are the pics

Posted in:Teresa Palmer

2011

03

Feb

Candice Swanepoel Topless for Vogue Italia of the Day

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This photoshoot for Vogue Italia is kind of a scam…not because they didn’t go through with getting Candice Swanepoel , a model at her fucking peak right now, topless….since that’s kinda what she does…being a bikini and lingerie model…who has got naked in the past ……and I’ve pretty much become best friends with her Amazing Nipple …but because in a shoot of 20 pics, only one is topless…when they all should have been…this is fashion we’re talking about..Vogue Italia shoulda known fashion is about less clothes…isn’t Italy the fashion hub….seriously more nipple..gotta keep things controversial…pushing the fucking limits and shit…

But that doesn’t change the fact that I’m pretty much sucked in by her as a brand of pussy I’m into…even if it’s got South Africa baggage like HIV and apartheid….and all that other good stuff…cuz she’s good stuff…and I’d like to be fucking good stuff…

PS:

@hornylohanwanker -> She’s smoking for you but there’s no red lipstick…I do the best I can #justnotgoodenough

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2011

03

Feb

Jamie-Lynn Sigler in the Shower in Beneath the Dark of the Day

5 Comments »

Jamie-Lynn Sigler had a shower scene in a Movie called Beneath the Dark….It was probably one of the worst shower scenes ever…one you’d expect to see in a high school play or some shit…but I know you idiots are easy to please so I figured I’d put it up anyway, maybe get this classic film that went under the radar a second life, maybe another run at getting that Oscar it deserves….

Angela Featherstone’s Titties were also in the shit….Good Times…But Her ass and back is fucking sloppy and doing some weird crinkled up shit…Maybe that’s why I’ve never heard of her…

Posted in:Jamie Lynn Sigler

2011

03

Feb

Leighton Meester Doesn’t Want you to Touch Her Shit of the Day

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Leighton Meester, the girl who’s mom taught her how to hooker her way to the top, you know and other prison tricks to success is starting to win me over….

CollegeHumor is doing the Funny or Die strategy, only I fully support CollegeHumor and I’m not gonna hate them, cuz in the beginning of my internet experience, CollegeHumor was the only site that linked me, sending inpsiring traffic I’ve never been able to recreated but have spent the last 5 years trying and not succeeding at.

All I know is Leighton saying touching her shit on repeat is pornographic to some and by some I mean me….especially people with rape and molestation fetishes…like me…this is some subtle brainwashing…subliminal message shit…I think she just hynotized me…

Also, it’s interesting to see how movie companies are responding the the internet by promoting movies through customized viral videos. It’s the end of the era where the homegrown youtube star will cease to exist. I’m lookin forward to that day, cuz talented hacks don’t deserve to get noticed…like me on this site….

Posted in:Leighton Meester

2011

03

Feb

NSFW Music Video of the Day

4 Comments »

If I was a no name band….or an up and coming band…or a rapper…or pretty much anyone trying to get attention on the internet…I’d produce videos with girls getting naked, showing their cunt, simulating sex with a guitar, because even if it’s been done 1000 times before…people will always watch it…

So I’d to give Emilio Rojas Ft. Mickey Factz and their song Ex-Girl some love for being not that creative or innovative cuz they didn’t have to be since naked bitches get hits…I mean it doesn’t even have to be a good song and it’ll get noticed…I wouldn’t know cuz I watched this on mute. Enjoy.

To See the Video – Follow This Link
GO

Posted in:NSFW Music VIdeo

2011

03

Feb

Jennifer Lopez Promotes Shaving her Twat of the Day

2 Comments »

I have no idea what this event is, but I assume it is a pussy shaving convention, a place where they discuss the latest trends in pussy shaving, a seminar put on by Venus to regain some traction against the bikini wax market…since bikini waxing is more popular than shaving…and gilette has billions more dollars than the little local asian lady you let play with your snatch…so that they can bring out the bottom feeding stars who you probably don’t want to see shaved down…cuz they are old mom’s….and old moms traditionally need to have a bush…it’s a generational thing…shave the bald pussy for your kids…plus pubic hair hides that scars and damage from the war that your pussy experienced in child birth….not to mention…I hate shaved pussy. It is cheesy Jersey shore mainstream shit. I hate waxed pussy. It reminds me of Ed Hardy. I hate that marketers made girls think Bush was a bad thing to sell hair removal products. Bush is erotic. Especially when it is fashionista hipster bush. cuz you know those bitches are just too hungry to have the energy to maintan, or maybe they are just being ironic, but either way they are not giving into the garbage that is shaved twat.

Apparently Alyssa Milano, even after blocking me on Twitter 2 Years ago- Agrees With me….

Here’s J-Lo….

Good post right? I know.

Posted in:Jennifer Lopez

2011

03

Feb

Girl in Her Underwear Lets Dog Lick Her Underwear of the Day

16 Comments »

Looks like I’m not the only bottom feeder….

I wasn’t going to post this because I thought it would get me arrested, it must be illegal but then I realized that I am not the person who put the video up, and really there’s far worse a person could be doing to a dog in video, like fucking it up its little dog ass, or making it fight with other dogs until death, I mean a girl liking the strength and ability of a tongue evolved to lick things out of the weirdest places, is weird, maybe a little disgusting, maybe a little inappropriate, but you’d be surprised with just how much some people love their pets, or how some people put their pets to work…It’s a sick world out there, and I’m just documenting it.

On a sidenote, I used to know a dude who let his dog lick his ass when he jerked off. I knew another girl would would let her dog lick up her boyfriends cum off her belly. And the urban legend of the woman and her peanut butter that I’ve heard in 14 countries in 8 different languages….meaning maybe playing with your dog’s been going on as long as people have had dogs..

We’ll never know…cuz dogs keep secrets.

Posted in:amateur