DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

Kendall Jenner’s Asshole Behind Thong of the Day

Dakota Johnson Not Fanning on a Slutty Hike of the Day

Leni Klum or her Friend has Her Ass Out in Tight Shorts of the Day

Christina Hendricks Still has her Tits of the Day

Anna Paulina Luna in her Bathing Suit of the Day

2010

Nov

Random Useless Bitches at Some Event I Wasn’t Invited To of the Day

No Comments »

The People’s Choice Awards press conference event quickly turned into the Useless People event when Audrina Patridge, Annalynne McCord and Malin Akerman showed up, because I guess the actually people nominated were busy….

Not that any of these bitches are totally useless, I can think of at least 15-50 different things they’d blossom at. From throat fucking porn, to snuff films, to even setting up hidden cameras in their toilet bowls, but unfortunately, they all have egos and think they are too good for that.

I blame the good times, but I’m glad to say that for Audrina the bad times are soon to come and it’s not too far away for the other two twats…

So maybe they should be really taken in the moment as this time next year, I doubt any of these bitches will be invited anywhere…just like me….but I am confident you’ll still be jerking off to them cuz you can’t get over things…weirdo…

Posted in:Annalynne McCord|Audrina Patridge|Malin Akerman

2010

Nov

Amanda Seyfried Boring to the Set of the Day

No Comments »

If you look at my Amanda Seyfried archive, you will see that I generally hate the bitch, not so much because I find her ugly, stupid, annoying, I hate her because she is boring. I hate her because she’s not living up to my expectations. I hate her because she has tits she hide. I hate on her because I see potential…when she’s in movies like CHLOE , dyking out with older ladies, getting fucked…but her everyday life just takes away from that cuz she doesn’t care if we jerk off to her or not cuz she doesn’t need more work and isn’t desperate yet…

These pictures are really not helping her cause, but they are helping Justin Timberlake cuz he is getting cast in movies with all the hot hollywood pussy…like Mila Kunis ….

I’m hoping this script is a little more lively than what it looks like it’s gonna be…actually I don’t really give a fuck, I have better things to do with my time than worry about bitches and their overpaid movie roles….I just haven’t figured out what those things are…but I’m working on it.

Posted in:Amanda Seyfried

2010

Nov

Lorenzo Lamas Protects His Cameltoe of the Day

No Comments »

Lorenzo Lamas is a hero. Not because he’s saving his new Fiance and her possible cameltoe from the horrible weather of sunny Los Angeles, but because back in 1996 – 2002 her had sex with THIS , and by hero, I mean questionable hetero, because dry dead vaginas that look like a deflated scrotum, are by no means a heterosexual act, unless it’s just one night and you’ve got nothin’ else goin’ on for you, cuz meaty or not it still gets warm and is better than jerking off to some, but to marry it is just fucking weird to me….no offense meaty pussy girls…I know you are out there…and despite what guys tell you when trying to fuck you…it’s gross.

I guess his new pussy is less haggard and that’s why he’s all gentleman about making sure it is safe and well taken care of, because he knows what neglect can do and it’s not a pretty thing…if anything it’s almost fucking alien.

Posted in:Lorenzo Lamas

2010

Nov

Denise Richards Plays With Puppies and Not With Her Tits of the Day

1 Comment »

Unlike her baby daddy Charlie Sheen, Denise Richards tries to play this wholesome mother-figure type. She acts like she wasn’t in the trenches on the front line when they were married and he was doing coke, hookers, and hard drinking. I’m married and I can’t take a shit without my wife asking me if I ate pussy the night before cuz she smells it in my stool….

Marriage is one of those partner in crime bullshits where straying is fucking impossible, so when you’re rich and famous, you marry bitches you think would be down, and you choose them based on the size of their trashy implants and how slutty their movie roles are….

Proving that Denise Richards is hardly wholesome…and this is pretty obvious that her publicist set this up. You know in a “Go out there and pet puppies for the Paparazzi. Charlie’s just destroyed a hotel room with a pornstar, let’s make you look like the good one in the relationship, we’re 6 months away from people even questioning that you were doing coke and pornstars by his side the entire marriage while the nannies raised your kids” kinda way….

I call bullshit on this….cuz I know as soon as the camera’s were pawned off she ran home to get drunk, high and fuck escorts…it’s one of those things you just can’t give up, it’s addictive. Trust me.

This has to be a fucking joke…

On a side note, I hate the name Denise, what kind of fucking name is Denise…Da Knees, Duh Neees….fucking stupid sounding bullshit…here are the pics

Posted in:Denise Richards

2010

Nov

Stacy Keibler is Still Alive of the Day

1 Comment »

I know these aren’t the hottest pictures of Stacy Keibler and I am not sure recent hot pics of Stacy Keibler even exist. She kinda faded after her DWTS stint a few years ago and hasn’t really been heard from since…at least not by me….and I almost forgot she existed, until the other day when some site sent me a press release that Stacy Keibler was the most searched pussy on their site…people were still going there and searching for pictures of her…because they are clearly emotionally fucked up and can’t get over a fantasy of the past….kinda like going through your high school girlfriend’s facebook looking for a bikini pic to jerk off to for old times cuz you don’t own any of that shit since it was before digital cameras and even before girls openly wore bikinis to the beach….you know the 80s and their one-pieces…only without the whole relationship…

I find the whole thing weird…Just let it go man…let Stacy Keibler age gracefully into a wrinkled mess who once had legs the world wanted to wear as a scarf….Move on.

Posted in:Stacy Keibler

2010

Nov

Rosie Huntington-Whitely on Set of Transformers of the Day

No Comments »

I don’t know how I can write a post looking at such acting talent. It’s like these idiots make the idea of being chased by shapeshifting robots seem so real. Based on their facial expressions, I lose myself. Am I sitting here on a shit stained couch I found in a back alley a few years ago, or am I fighting robots in the stupidest movie I can’t believe gets budget to get made. Someone give these two an Academy Award and if they don’t win, this is the proof that they were fuckin’ robbed. Seriously. Bullshit.

Unfortunately, you idiots aren’t as passionate as I am about hating these pieces of shit action movies, and you are the reason they get made, so here’s pictures of Rosie Huntington-Whitely whoring out on set for you to print up and put in your stalker scrap book you made to keep you busy and your mind off the excitement of the release of Transformers 3 or 4 or 5 or whatever they are on now…your therapist told you to relax the obsession on cuz it’s weird.

Posted in:Rosie Huntington-Whitely

2010

Nov

HBOobs of the Day

No Comments »

Here is a clip from Bored to Death for those of you who can’t afford TV, like me, and who rely on the internet to show me the clips I missed with tits.

It’s featuring Ted Dancin’, Zack Galfinakis and Jason with the nose, living out pretty much every dude’s fantasy of walking through a Spa, or gym locker room, or pretty much anywhere girls congregate to get naked….

I remember years ago when working at the Y, before digital cameras, fantasizing about what went on in that mystical place of pussy showering after a good swim or workout. Hotness walking around naked, comfortable in their bodies, until one day I couldn’t take it anymore and I walked in aroused and ready, totally expecting to get fired, but not caring, only to find a bunch of thick grey bushed elderly bitches scream bloody murder, cuz men aren’t supposed to be in there….

Not only was I fired, but police were called and it was a whole mess, but not as big of a mess as the realization that locker rooms aren’t the garden of fucking eden…

Luckily, Bored to Death played up the fantasy and didn’t show the truth that the hot girls are the ones who don’t get naked in the lockeroom, but the elderly who don’t give a fuck are.

That’s all I have to say about that.

Posted in:HBOoobs

2010

Nov

Freja Beha Erichsen Does Vogue Paris of the Day

No Comments »

I’ve never heard of this model, but it is safe to say she’s another tall skinny bitch from another country who has some bullshit story about being picked up on the street, in a grocery store, at a movie theater, in a cab by some exclusive model agent who sky rocketed her into the American modeling scene where she has a NYC loft, makes 100,000 dollars a shoot, and who all the designers and companies want to work with cuz she’s the it thing…

But I do know she’s showing some nipple in this Terry Richardson shoot for Vogue Paris, that’s a little more interesting that his recent shit, I mean other than his Glee shoot, which made a couple haggard twats with manly faces look like they were worth fucking, but his other shit’s just fuckin’ sucked.

So it’s nice to see a little more sleaze in fashion where it belongs.

So here’s this bitch Freja and her nipples.

Posted in:Freja Beha Erichsen

2010

Nov

stepNEWS of the Day

No Comments »

The latest news going on in my life is that despite the site always being down – I am not going to be giving it up.

Unfortunately for you, that means stepNEWS clips, cuz no post seems to offend people as much as this one.

I guess watching idiots on the news is hard to jerk off to.

But I would imagine that so is the rest of my site…so if you’re coming in for that…you’re weird and I probably shouldn’t listen to your complaints…oh that’s right…I don’t…and here’s the proof…

Haverhill Pastor stole from his church to support porn habit

Subway Job applicant turns robber in parking lot – Eat Fresh…

Naked Woman Drives Truck Into Strip Mall in California

Winning Lottery Ticket Sold at Michigan Porn Store proving yet again that porn addiction so bad that you go to porn stores even though the internet exists pays….

OR House Passed Out Condoms to Kids for Halloween

Limo carring party of bridesmaids hijacked

DORCHESTER – A limo carrying a party of bridesmaids was hijacked Saturday afternoon in front of the Blessed Mother Theresa Church in Dorchester.

Posted in:stepNEWS

2010

Nov

Thinspiration of the Day

2 Comments »

I want to share something personal with you for a minute. You know a little something about me, before I get into all that celeb paparazzi bullshit, nude scenes, and photoshoots I normally waste my time on…I am fat. Like real fucking fat. The kind of fat that hangs over my pants. That makes it hard for me to walk up stairs, or downstairs…or pretty much to do anything, like fit into pants with buttons….So like Oprah, or a fat housewife, I like to watch a little clip to pump me up for the day, to motivate me to choose the light beer or to have just one bag of chips and not two and I figured I’d share it with you, because let’s face it we are family….This is my thinspiration of the moment…

Sure this Thinspiration hasn’t got me eating less, I’ve probably gained more weight since I started watching this clip every morning, but in her defense, I’m the kind of guy who gains 5 pounds if I eat an apple….pie….she’s doin’ her job just fine…

Watch the clip, it’s a great way to start the day. Especially if you’re a girl slackin’ on your starving yourself, this will really make you feel inadequate in your efforts and hopefully get you to step it up a bit, you lazy, fat, slobby pig…

I don’t know about you, but now I can start my day feeling confident….

I wonder if this bitch is still alive, if she isn’t, that totally changes the dynamic of this video.

Posted in:Thinspiration