I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

20

Jan

Coleen Rooney is in a Bikini of the Day

Her name is Coleen Rooney, I couldn’t quite place who she was, until I saw the shit stain birthmark on her ass and then I remembered, I have written about her before, I am not sure how I found inspiration by her sloppy body, but I figure it was that sloppy body that I wrote about. You know her husband may not be the cream of the fucking crop, you know, he may be a pasty fuck that if he didn’t play soccer/football no one would give a fuck about and not the looker that fans of his team finger bang themselves to, but he’s a fucking soccer player/ footballer and there’s no excuse for ending up with this sack of shit.

I guess she’s taken in this union as winning lottery ticket and is taking full advantage of never having to work again, Probably a far fucking cry from working as a waitress in a pub or whatever the fuck she did when she actually worked, because she’s always in her fucking bikini. Like when Her name was Coleen McLoughlin and she was in a Bikini and Some More Pictures of Coleen McLoughlin in a Bikini and even More Pictures of Coleen Rooney as Coleen McLoughlin in a Bikini and still more Coleen Rooney in her Bikini Before She Was Coleen Rooney all before marrying this sucker, only to go on her Honeymoon in a bikini…..

So I just found out they’ve been dating since they were 16, have known each other since they were 12, but that doesn’t mean she’s not an opportunist. I also found out she’s got a work out DVD, which involves her sitting around eating potatoes and drinking pints, cuz you don’t get sloppy from doing sit ups.

Posted in:Bikini|Coleen Rooney

2009

20

Jan

Paris Hilton on the Beach of the Day

Here is something that pretty much amazes me. Fila, an athletic company has hired Paris Hilton to be a spokesperson for the brand. She’s not a model, she doesn’t have model appeal, she’s just a slut who does nothing, especially when it comes to fitness. Is the company’s mission statement to spread STDs, laziness and being a disgusting human being? Is their slogan, “Exploit your family name, release a sex tape and ride the wave that causes”. Are they telling us to fuck working out or taking part in sports unless that sport is sucking dick, huffing coke and hosting celebrity events?

Is Fila telling me to drive drunk, convince little girls that being a vapid stupid piece of shit the disgraces humanity and makes a mockery of Hollywood, fame and celebrity is a reputable goal in life? Are they trying to move away from being an sportswear company and moving into prostitution apparel? I don’t fucking know or care, but I do know that FILA is from South Korea and Korea loves tall blonde American sluts, so maybe it’s just the CEO’s way of getting into Paris Hilton’s pants…which is really the only thing that makes sense.

Posted in:Beach|Bikini Top|Paris Hilton

2009

20

Jan

The Obama Anthem of the Day

So David Foster, Superstar songwriter, wrote a piece of fucking crap song for Obama that was performed by America’s very own Seal and Bono, along with actual Americans like Will.I.Am and some whores. It is the biggest piece of shit I have ever heard and if this shit inspires you or brings a tear to your eye, you are an emotional disaster and need to be taken out back and shot, or at least committed because you are unstable and too fucking sensitive to handle everyday life so you emotionally eat yourself to death and cry every chance you get and it’s embarrassing….I am talking to you Oprah.

Posted in:Anthem|Obama

2009

20

Jan

Bridget Marquardt Does Australia in a Bikini of the Day


Playboy/Hugh Hefner’s Bridget Marquardt has a new show that she’s filming called “Bridget’s Sexiest Beaches”. Here she is out in a gold bikini because she’s in Australia’s Gold Coast and I guess she thought it would only make sense to match. In her useless brain, this is her being clever.

The show sounds like a piece of shit played out concept. Sure, I never get bored of bitches in bikinis, but I’ve seen these sexiest beaches shows and DVDs over my lifetime and they are all the same and they are all lame as fuck, especially when they are hosted by stupid Playboy sluts who can’t formulate a fucking sentence and just sit there giggling like fools doing stupid stunts like Bridget is in these pics as she hangs with the local meter maids.

If you really want to cover sexy beaches, get the bitches in the sand suckin’ some dick, rocking some dildos, having an orgy, fucking, staging rape, anything but walking around in a fucking bikini. We are desensitized and every beach in the world is lined with girls in bikinis, you gotta take shit up a fucking notch, bring it to the next level, but I guess that’s asking too much, you know expecting her to be involved in anything of substance or revolutionary is a waste of energy because she’s just another fake bitch ripping off the Bunnies before her, by filling the Playboy mold and criteria and it’s all very fucking boring.

Posted in:Bikini|Bridget Marquardt

2009

20

Jan

Cindy Taylor Gets Seduced of the Day

I didn’t know who Cindy Taylor was before today, but it turns out she hosts Wild On. I didn’t know that show was still on the air. I figure there are only so many places in the world you can party in a bikini and that they’ve probably covered all of them by now, but I was wrong.

In this video, you will see a fan/crazy person who stands outside LA clubs to get autographs from celebs to sell on eBay, brought out a teddy bear and card to offer his condolences to her in regards to the death of her mother that happened this past weekend.

Sure, dying parents is some sad shit but that stalker/fan/crazy person who stands outside clubs for autographs hit the serious jackpot because he got her when she was vulnerable, played it right and came across as a sensitive considerate person, and that warmed her sad heart so if he plays things right,she will totally let him in her pussy, which is a big deal for a guy who stands outside clubs waiting for autographs, instead of being in clubs doing shots with the bitches he gets autographs of…ya know.

Posted in:Cindy Taylor|Hot

2009

20

Jan

Ronnie Wood and His Mail Order Teenage Hipster Bride of the Day

I just spent way too much time uploading all these pictures of Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood and some 18 year old lookin’ Russian girl that is being said to be his girlfriend.

I have no idea why I bothered, because they aren’t having sex and she’s not naked and masturbating, or even slippin’ up nipple, or flashing panty. I guess it has to do with how funny I find seeing a 60 year old dressed like a 20 year old hipster you’d find at your local record store, you know in his skinny jeans and fat sneakers and flannel shirt, I mean dude’s probably considered a musical legend and has every right to dress however the fuck he wants, but it still makes me laugh, because old people aren’t supposed to dress like 20 year old Poli Sci students, it’s like the time I met a dude with that Infantism fetish, where dude got all dressed up in diapers and bonnets and sat in a adult size playpen soiling himself, only to be cleaned up by his lover, before using his rattle on her cunt while breast feeding.

The other thing I find funny is his teenage Russian hipster girlfriend. Where would a rockstar meet some teenage Russian hipster girlfriend? A catalog, maybe a website, ebay or even craiglist? I mean shit just doesn’t make sense, because if I was a rockstar, I’d be slamming models, pornstars and hot chicks, I’d leave the dumpy assed immigrants in American Apparel for the dudes in local indy bands and DJs, because she’s just not hot, no matter how tight her body is compared to the other bitches in his old folk’s home. Bad joke. Sure. I’ll give you that much, but I won’t give you my freedom. I don’t know what that means.

Couples Who Smoke together, stay together, especially when one of you owns the other…

Here they are at dinner….

Here they are shopping at American Apparel, every 16 year old Russian hipster chick’s favorite store…What a nice guy….

Posted in:Craddle Robber|Ronnie Wood

2009

20

Jan

Marisa Miller and Her Nipple in a BIkini of the Day

If you’re wondering why I haven’t posted, which you’re not. It’s because I am at the Obama Inauguration and it’s hard to find an internet cafe. I was personally approached by his people to cover the event on this site because we are a reputable news source for a solid dozen people. In case you were wondering, I wasn’t at the Obama Inauguration, I was sleeping. I figure all Americans would be watching this shit so why bother trying to compete. Obama is the biggest thing since the real Jesus and I figure I’ll let him have his time. I am over this whole Obama fad. It bores me. It is repetitive. I get it he brings you all hope and following him is like a fucking cult, but the dude is pretty positive, he does bring hope to all you suffering motherfuckers, but I’d rather see the miracles he talks about that hear him talk about them. Sure he’s been president for a solid 15 minutes now, but this classy, respectful motherfucker who even hugged George Bush, who I feel bad for, dude got a pretty shitty deal the people booed him despite having voted for him, hypocrites, maybe they should be booing their motherfucking selves. Anyway, this Obama motherfucker best get to work. First job should be to arrest that poet that came up after him to clear the fuckin’ room.

Speaking of getting to work, here’s Marisa Miller doing the whole Victoria’s Secret photoshoot thing, gettin’ paid motherfuckers.

Here are some more Marisa Miller bikini pictures….because you like her….

Posted in:Bikini|Marisa Miller|Nipple

2009

20

Jan

stepLINKS of the Day

I just dropped my last cigar in a shit filled toilet and I really was in the mood to smoke it and that pretty much sucks. I tried fishing it out with a toothbrush and realized that even I am not that desperate.

What doesn’t suck are my links….

Some Sluts Chasing the Fame Flame….
GO

When My StepDaughter Dropped Out of College, She Robbed Me of
Man Handling Her College Friends
GO

Sandee Westgate Talks Pineapple Express
GO

Tyra Banks is Looking More Beat Than Your Virgin Penis
GO

Score With Chicks, Without the Aid of Date Rape Drugs: A Step by Step Guide
GO

Cock Blocking is the Worst Shit You Can Do to a Friend
But When You Get Laid As Little As You Do, Rules Go Out the Window
GO

Marry Me Samantha!!
GO

The Top Ten Trends of the 90’s That Better Stay in the 90’s, Or I Will Shoot Someone
GO

Sure, We All Know Freddie Mercury Was Gay, But Did You Know He Was Also Japanese?
GO

Is My Gay Sex Loving Son Gay?
GO

More Porn Than Ever I Know What to Do With
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

God Damn, All Hell is Breaking Loose At the Screenings of Notorious
GO

Kerry Katona is Both Topless and Showing Off Her Camel Toe
GO

Julia Roberts Will SHUT YOU DOWN!
GO

Marisa Miller is All I Have Ever Wanted
GO

I’d Like to Put My Milk All Over Christie Brinkley’s Mouth
GO

Halle Berry is Still Got It
GO

Penny Cruz Gallery
GO

French Striptease Classes FTW!
GO

Find a Girl to Fuck, Because That Girl Your Holding Captive May Just Escape Soon
GO

Stripper Pole Accidents Make Me Smile
GO

Don’t Let the Door Hit Your Ass on the Way Out, Bush
GO

Taya Parker Takes It All Off
GO

The Breast Game Show EVER
GO

Man, Those South Koreans Really Know Good Cookins
GO

Gotta Love the Self Shots
GO

Because If You Don’t Have a Girlfriend By Now, There’s Just No Hope
GO

Now Here’s a Fat Bitch Who Really Reps Her Country
GO

Michella Cruz Should Really Wrap Those Legs Around My Fat Mid-Section
GO

Pussy Play in Public
GO

A Taco Bell Wedding
GO

Paris Hilton Gets More Delusional By the Day
GO

Get Sex Today, Because I Know You Have Nothing Better to Do
GO

Camila Alves is Hot Enough That The Fact She Ruined Her Vagina With a Baby is Forgiveable
GO

Jennifer and Stephanie Are in the Panties
GO

Build Yourself a Miniture Airplane
GO

Wanna Barf?’ Here’s What Madonna Looks Like Un-Photoshopped
GO

Martha Stewart Broke Up a Lesbian Orgy in Prison
GO

Joaqu9in Phoenix is Going Completely Fucking Insane and I Love It
GO

Meet Ninja Cat
GO

Girl Gets Publically Jizzed On. Classy
GO

It’s About Fucking Time. Amy Poehler is Getting Her Own TV Show
GO

Leave It To Hollywood to Ruin Everything Amazing
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS

Some Arab Porn
GO

Big, Ethnic, New York Tits…
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

19

Jan

Brooke Hogan Goes Rollerblading of the Day

If you’ve wondered how Brooke Hogan keeps the figure she inherited from her father, this isn’t you’re answer. I am going to assume she rollerblades for transportation after her brother’s horrific accident made her scared of cars, because that shit is supposed to be cardio and cardio goes against staying a fucking monster of a girl. She reminds me of those dudes you know aren’t straight who rollerblade along the boardwalk in their bike shorts and nothing else in hopes of seducing men, because anyone who slips a pair of these bad boys on is clearly pussy whipped or a homo. This post is a waste of time, I probably should have warned you before you got this far, assuming you got this far, which we all know is serious wishful thinking. The same wishful thinking Brooke has when it comes to fitting into her thin fit jeans.

Posted in:Brooke Hogan|Rollerblading|Shorts

2009

19

Jan

Lily Allen’s Stupid Hat and Ass Crack of the Day

Lily Allen was out showing her ass crack in her stupid hat and I can only assume it’s got to do with having a broken vagina. You know, like the virgin I used to hang with who would still suck dick and get with dudes, but her vagina was off limits, only Lily Allen’s no virgin, she just has anxiety about getting a dick near her after what happened last year. She sees cock as a weapon that destroys hopes and dreams by planting it’s seed and ripping it out from under your fingers when sitting on a toilet or on the hospital bed with a vacuum up your box because the pregnancy came at an inopportune time.

Posted in:Ass Crack|Lily Allen