I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Sydney Sweeney Gives a Booty Show of the Day
Sydney Sweeney Gives a Booty Show of the Day
Christina Aguilera Whorin’ Old Lady of the Day
Christina Aguilera Whorin’ Old Lady of the Day
Christina Milian Posing with Produce of the Day
Christina Milian Posing with Produce of the Day
Aurelie Dupont is the Instagram Of The Day
Britney Spears Returns With Weird Dancing of the Day
Britney Spears Returns With Weird Dancing of the Day

2008

11

Dec

Heidi and Spencer Have the Christmas Spirit of the Day

3 Comments »

I have decided that I am a hypocrite.I am inconsistent in all aspects of my life and like some things some days and hate them the next day. For the longest time I hated The Hills and everything it represented, I am sure I’ve mentioned it here a few times. But as the rest of the world started to catch onto the bullshit and started calling the cast out on living scripted lives, setting up staged everything, and paying the paparazzi to be there, all to perpetuate lies to the fans, I decided to start liking them.

It’s kind of like how skateboarding went gay in 1997 with Tony Hawk Pro Skater video games, making me hate everything about skateboarding in a matter of months when I started seeing Cha Chi motherfucker wearin’ skate shoes and I realized the fun was over, and now that everyone hates on The Hills, I need to start a fight to keep it around because watching Heidi and Spencer and their bullshit poses at a Christmas Tree farm, kissing under the misseltoe like they were in a shitty made for TV movie on the Hallmark Channel, or a low budget Christmas catalog, or even a scripted reality show, pretty much telling us all we’re fucking assholes for watching them act like assholes, the only thing these pictures is missing is them giving us the finger while counting their money, hopefully money they use to buy Spencer some testosterone for Christmas so bitch can grow a full beard instead of this teenage pervert shit…

Either way, here’s their performance and it warms my heart and if you want to get me something for Christmas, the only thing on my list is “The Hills Box Set” or even a signed picture from this power couple since I am officially their number 1 fan. Thanks.

Posted in:Christmas|Heidi Montag|Spencer Pratt

2008

11

Dec

The Kardashian’s Celebrate Khloe’s Massive Ad of the Day

1 Comment »

Here are The Kardashian’s celebrating the unveiling the building sized bare ass of her beast of a sister for Peta, like the shit’s that big of a fucking deal, I mean sure Peta is the first to ever ask Khloe Kardashian to get naked without being drunk, but it’s not that big of a fucking deal. What is a big deal is that at the end of this video they are shooting a segment for the People’s Choice awards, thanking the people for nominating or voting for the Kardashians, and I don’t really know what that means, but I assume it means those fuckers are going to be around another fucking year and if I had may way, I’d like to personally meet every single fan of this show and figure out what the fuck is wrong with them by raping some sense into them.

Bonus – Here’s a clip of her signing autographs, acting like she’s all fucking bothered and too busy for the little people (everyone compared to her), while inside we know she’s fuckin’ loving the fact that people are desperate enough to ask for her autograph because she’s the only person on TV they ran into on their trip to LA.

Posted in:Kardashians|Khloe Kardashian|PETA

2008

11

Dec

Carmen Electra Does Playboy Again of the Day

3 Comments »

I get asked randomly by the one person who cares, who I find hot in Hollywood because I pretty much rip all of these sluts apart like a bitter loser who can’t get the hot popular girl in school, so instead plot to school shoot the fucking place up and teach them that I exist. The truth is, I don’t really find any celebrities hot. I don’t think regular, everyday girls should compare themselves to these whores, because all I see is fake, insecure, fabricated, superficial, shallow, empty sell outs who are only famous because they weren’t loved enough in their youth and because they weren’t the pretty girl in the class or the favorite of their daddy, and that’s normally a turn on, but not when they get to this level of fame and everyone sucks their dick, clouding their judgement, making them believe they are more important than they actually are…..

That said, I’d probably fuck them all, but then again I don’t really have standards, and I never turn down pussy, but Carmen Electra’s always been one of my favorites, she’s got sex appeal and 15 years after first hitting, still has sex appeal and turns out she’s doing Playboy January 2009, sure we’ve all seen it before, but I’m always down to see more.

You liked that poem, admit it, homo.

Posted in:Carmen Electra|Playboy

2008

11

Dec

Jennifer Aniston Nude in GQ of the Day

4 Comments »

Jennifer Aniston is naked in GQ because getting naked is what you do when you want to get noticed, at least it’s what I do when I want to get noticed by teenage girls on the subway.

She is living out the dream many guys have for their ex-girlfriends after their hearts are broken by them, you know the whole, you’ll see one day I’ll be famous or rich and you’ll be kicking yourself in the ass for leaving me, only she was on the one who was cheated on and dumped and just wanted to stay together and have a family with him, so maybe he’s success since the divorce is not the same thing at all.

I guess he was always just out of her league as far as fame, success, media attention and public interest goes. I always thought it was a weird union in the first place, you know a movie star getting involved with a sitcom star, it just didn’t make sense to me. I just thought was a cover-up, since he is an actor, for an all night, all male orgy at Tom Cruise’s house that he was sure he was caught taking part in, and getting with the first desperate, barely hot, but decent for a Greek girl and that’s just because I know she takes it up the ass, because that ass she takes it up looks maternal and wholesome, and that ass is represented by the same PR guy who is trying to make stars out of all his clients to pay for his home in Malibu, despite that ass being barren and a garbage can for random men the last 4 years of recovery after the lottery she thought she won and the princess fairytale she almost secured by some serious manipulation dissolved in Angelina Jolie’s pussy and turned into 4 babies that don’t belong to Aniston….

In a lot of ways, it must be a lot like having a knife shoved in her uterus everytime see sees Pitt and Jolie in the media which luckily is every 2 minutes, because we know Aniston will lose this Clockwork Orange sanity test that is entertainment news and end up doin’ something fuckin’ crazy and fuckin’ crazy is always fuckin’ fun for us. Or maybe she’ll just get the fuck over it, like someone who isn’t so self involved and feeling sorry for her poor rich self…and will move the fuck on with her pathetic life….but I guess the only reason people care about her or are talking about her is because she hasn’t so it’s all part of her strategy to stay relevent and here she is naked in GQ.

Posted in:Jennifer Aniston|Nude

2008

11

Dec

Paula Abdul Craziness on Letterman of the Day

2 Comments »

Here’s some Paula Abdul craziness, because since that stalker killed herself in front of her house, Paula’s been jacked on more meds to deal with the pain than usual.

I love the way she keeps the Christmas spirit alive in a Latex Toy Soldier costume and militant walk and dance, makes me want to get a job working as a mall Santa, but not as much as I love when Dave starts drilling her about this stalker business, saying he should sue the stalker, probably not knowing the stalker killed herself, and Paula acts all kinds of fucking crazy stands up and tries to leave because she clearly has a lot of trouble dealing with things, like speaking. It’s hard after downing all them pills….

I heard she’s not sleeping in her house because she thinks it’s haunted and is putting it up for sale at a discount to get it off her hands, and since I am not a weak, rich, coddled little ex-popstar medicated baby with stalkers, I can’t really relate, but I do know some dude had an overdose in my hallway last week and I had to walk by his dead body to walk the dog when the paramedics were just getting there, and I did have to wrestle the dog off of him when he started trying to lick at his dead face because I don’t want dead druggy germs getting on my little fucker so I guess it’s kinda the same thing….or maybe it isn’t at all, but bitch needs to follow her face and body and grow the fuck up.

Stalkers killing themselves outside your house on the street isn’t a big fucking deal, people die outside my house every day, they are crazy people except for the one girl who was a rape victim, but I’m not talking about her, and I am not getting everyone to feel sorry for me. Abdul is too rich to care about the commoners so she needs to get the fuck over herself, stop being so fucking fragile.

Either way, I think this 1970 quality video is a good way to start the day a and that’s all that matters homeboy.

Posted in:Crazy|Letterman|Paula Abdul

2008

11

Dec

stepLINKS of the Day

2 Comments »

So I accidentally got invited to some denim event…..see photo above…..because I guess someone put me on a list of relevant media people to invite to fashion events as some kind of joke….anyway some poor intern emailed me this:

Hi!

I apologize in advance if you are not located anywhere near New York, and receive this invite, as it is hard to tell where some are based. If you are indeed in or around the NYC area, and would like to attend please let me know what time you’d like to come in.

So I answered her pretending that she was the ass in the flyer…..

hot asssssss
you have no idea the things I would do to that ass
what I wouldn’t to to douse those jeans in gasoline and burn them off you just to get to that ass
i will turn your ass into DJ AM.
i love you

With Love, 
Jesus Martinez
Drunkenstepfather.com

She didn’t get the joke….

I’m sorry – what?

And I closed it like this….

What do you mean what? You just sent me a pic of your ass in jeans.
I was just saying you have a hot ass and that I love you.
Why you acting like you have no idea what I am talking about?
why you making me feel like I date raped you?
I hate why girls play that “I just cockteased the shit out of you and now you’re sexually harrassing me you pig” bullshit….
motherfucker.

With Love, 
Jesus Martinez
Drunkenstepfather.com

I kinda feel bad, I am sure she doesn’t realize I am just fucking with her, I can expect no more invites to fashion events I guess….I always ruin things….

Here are my links:

Carrie Fisher Sounds Like She Knows How to Party
GO

Motorcycles Belong OUTSIDE Dipshit
GO

Lohan Lesbian Cleavage
GO

Meet the Sluts of Miss World
GO

I Always Assumed Scientologists Hated Christmas, Like The Jews
But Hey, What Do I Know?
GO

Nicky Hilton Kind of Upskirt
GO

This Will Make You Feel Slightly Less Pathetic
GO

Rebecca Loos Naked in Zoo…..
GO

The Hottest Greek Women Ever
GO

The 10 Hottest MMA Girls of All Time
GO

Kim Basinger is Looking Good at 55
GO

Rinaldo’s Hot Ex is in a Calendar Naked of the Day
GO

Demi Lovato of Disney Fame is a CUTTER!!!! And we love Jailbait with a Broken Soul!!!!!
GO

A Blonde and Brunette is My Kind of Combo
GO

More Whores From Rock of Love
GO

Nicole Arbour Has a Calendar
GO

I’m Sorry, But Dogs ARe Fucking Stupid, and This is Proof
GO

Find The Best Porn on the Internet According to Me
GO

The 10 Greatest Fastfood Sides of All Time
GO

Cate Blanchette is Pretty Smokin’ For an Old Bitch
GO

I Don’t Know What She’s Wearing but This Model Agness Deyn is Pretty Hot
GO

I Gotta Hand It the Girl, Britney Done Good
GO

The Recession is Even Hitting the North Pole
GO

Beach Gymnast Takes Out Chick in a Bikini
GO

Invent Destiny!!!
GO

The Spank Bank is One Bank The Recession Won’t Touch
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Red Head Dream Girl
GO

Tribute to Mrs. Clause
GO

Ricky Martin and the Joy of Gay
GO

Lovely Lady Has Some Alone Time
GO

Katie Holmes Has Herpes
GO

Scott Ruffalo is Dead, and It’s His Own Fault
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Tow Truck Gets PWNT!
GO

Naked Chicks and Guns
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Attention Whore!!
GO

Everyone Hates Naomi Campbell
GO

Gina Novak is in the Woods
GO

Let’s Say Goodbye to the Warm Weather the Only Way We Know How
GO

Madonna Needs to Learn to Be a Bit More Frugal
GO

Waste Time Here
GO

Now THAT’S How You Propose to Someone

GO

Some Guy’s Got A Freakishly Weird Second Asshole…
GO

Jack Sparrow Fired from Disneyland Because They Were Getting Flashed By Teenage Girls
GO

Topless Lady in TIght Bikini Bottoms Doing a Dance….Video…
GO

Her Name is Nikkala Stott and She’s Got Hot Tits….
GO

Pole Dance How To
GO

And This is Just Wrong
GO

Asian Dance Party
GO

Because Sluts Are One of Those Things You Just Can’t Get Enough Of
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS….

This Girl Didn’t Password Her Photobucket So Here Are Her Tits…
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

10

Dec

Miley Cyrus and Her Really Ugly Sister are Hipster Poser Trash of the Day

18 Comments »

There are a few problems with these pictures of Miley Cyrus and her sister walking down the street.

Firstly, they have secured something I’ve always been saying and that is that Urban Outfitters is some try hard hipster shit, and anything with the name Urban in it is a lie designed for suburban people willing to spend 100 dollars on a shirt they got at some homeless shelter, not that I shop or that I care, but whenever I walk by the shit and shit these tight jean wearing euro-trash in their high tops I get mad and I really don’t know why but little things piss me off.

Secondly, Miley’s sister in her ironic hipster bullshit attitude is wearing a vintage Mickey Mouse shirt, because Mickey Mouse is paying for their shit, because everyone knows that Billy Ray’s got no more money left from Achy Breaky Heart because he used it to buy his wife and fuel his cocaine addiction.

Lastly, take a look at this girls face, she’s an ugly version of an ugly Miley and it’s scaring the fucking shit out of me. The real question is whether she will ever find love lookin’ like the bottom of a homeless man’s rotten shoe. I didn’t know Miley even had a fucking sister and I guess if I was Miley, I’d keep this bitch locked away in the basement and as far from the spotlight as possible too because she’s embarrassing to admit you’re related to and like most retarded siblings, you’d want to protect them from the negative attention they will bring to you and your inflated career.

Either way, with a face like that, she’s pretty much got no choice but to pull that hipster, indy rock, electro, LA, art fag bullshit because for some reason hipster, indy rock, electro, LA, art fag bullshit guys are bisexual and more into a girl for her fake substance than her hot body, or hot face that you can look into without staring at awkwardly while laughing/crying/throwing up….and seem to think asymmetrical faces are as hype as asymmetrical hair….and that’s enough of this post…

Posted in:Hipster|Miley Cyrus|Trash

2008

10

Dec

Chelsea Lately Gets Her Ass Slapped by Akon of the Day

4 Comments »

I don’t watch TV and if I did, I am pretty sure I wouldn’t watch “E!”. I have seen some clips of this chick Chelsea Handler doing some interviews and she’s pretty funny in a sarcastic, Jewish cuntway. The kind of bitter hag you meet outside a hotel bar huffing on a cigarette after drinking a few too many martinis. Her hair a mess, her blouse unbuttoned, her panties in her purse from earlier in the night when she tried to show the waiter her pussy to seduce him before realizing he was gay, but still ready to show you or anyone with a dick how empowered she actually is in her single, self-made, confident and miserable life by taking you upstairs to have her way with you. Treating you like you’re some kind of cheap whore, like the roles of society have been reversed, when you’re feeling like you just won the lottery and secured the easiest pussy ever, until she starts crying as soon as she cums because all she really wants is a baby….

Either way here is a video of Chelsea Handler dealing with Akon and letting him slap her ass 3 minutes in.

Posted in:Akon|Ass Slap|Chelsea Hander

2008

10

Dec

Celine Dion’s Got a Tight Upskirt of the Day

2 Comments »

The thing I like about Celine Dion, other than the fact that she’s got the voice of an angel and is someone I can always turn to when I am feeling down and out and need a pick me up that really secures that I should go through with the suicide I’ve elaborately planned, is that she fucked her neighbor when she was 14, poor and living in small town Quebec and that gives me hope that in a few years, I’ll be able to find my own little money maker down in my ghetto neighborhood and I can just use Celine Dion’s success as part of my sales pitch to her drunk, hurting parents as to why they should let their daughter sit on my face….it’s a lot less criminal than it sounds, in small town Quebec most 14 year olds are already mothers of 5. Either way, here’s Celine Dion’s hot panties, because no matter how old she gets, behind those white walls is a violated teenage girl success story…

Posted in:Celine Dion|Upskirt

2008

10

Dec

Miley Cyrus Goes for a Drive of the Day

1 Comment »

I realize why this Hollywood.tv shit is free to use YouTube paparazzi video, instead of the other paparazzi shit that is too expensive for my blood and I am not just saying that because I am poor, I am saying that because they are seriously not Wal Mart prices, because I guess they think they’re Hollywood and Hollywood is just on a whole other level of expensive. It’s because their shit may be exclusive enough and they may be getting out into the depths of Hollywood next to the TMZ people and the other assholes who run paparazzi companies but their videos are always missing a little fuckin’ edginess.

Take this video of freshly learner permitted Miley Cyrus driving her Toyota SUV Crossover that she probably got for free from Toyota as a training car before getting a real car, there is not one single frame in the video where you actually see Miley Cyrus driving at all. All you see is a car driving and pulling into a fucking house making me wonder why the fuck am I watching a Miley Cyrus driving her Toyota SUV video in the first fucking place, but in my defense, I hate this bitch and only did it in hopes of seeing her drive off a fuckin’ cliff…I guess we can only wait until she gets her real license and does a little drinking and driving on her own, so let’s just hope she doesn’t listen to all her advisors, and realizes the faster she drives and the more she drinks, the more exhilerating the rush is…….especially on really badly lit winding roads….

Posted in:Driver|Miley Cyrus