I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

09

Jan

Kim Kardashian Fat Ass Gets Her Nails Done of the Day

Kim Kardashian brought her ass out to get a mani/pedi in some workout gear that she clearly wears for fashion and not utility, because the last time this fat ass did anything cardiovascular it was seeing how many donuts it could swallow and by donuts I mean big black penis and the last time she broke a sweat is when the air conditioning broke last summer. But even though she’s useless, she’s still rich and managed to fill her fun filled day by taking a solid hour to make herself feel important by ordering some poor asian around by getting her to slave over her dumpy fucking feet, something some of you may consider a lesbian dominatrix experience….but I consider boring, but not as boring as this fucking post, I need to go out and get inspired….

Bonus – Here’s the Video

Posted in:Fat Ass|Kim Kardashian|Nails

2009

09

Jan

Some Girl Pissing On the Street of the Day

I came across this video and I don’t understand what barn this girl grew up in, but when you’ve gotta piss, you do that shit in an alley, not a busy street where people are walking by, no matter how drunk or high you are, unless you expect to end up on the fucking internet, which I guess this bitch wasn’t and that’s why she sprinted off like the Jamaican Bobsled team in spring training. I do know that in the history of my drinking in bars, I have only seen one bitch who was homeless and on crack pull a stunt like this, all the other drunken trash I know, may not be ladies, in fact most were disgusting whores, but they did have enough common sense to piss where as few people are standing around as possible. Either way, watch the video, and Google Her…

Posted in:Drunk|girl|Pissing

2009

09

Jan

Lady Gaga Performs on Leno in her Pantyhose of the Day

Lady Gaga performed her Let’s Dance song on Leno, and being the modern artist she pretends to be, something a local stripper used to tell me she was every time I grabbed her tits for 10 dollars a song, she decided to wear a pair of pantyhose over a black/dark colored lacy thong. Well besides it reminding me of my mom getting ready to go to to a big meeting back in the 80s, I thought it was a pretty bold move. Not because it was daring and the censor’s probably should have cut it, but because she showed her world her big ol’ ass, something most girls try to hide.

Maybe she’s pulling the whole giving the audience everything angle, like that she’s opened her soul to us and invited us into her bedroom looking like my grandmother getting ready for church on a Sunday Morning in her skin toned pantyhose, maybe she’s trying to appeal to pantyhose fetishist, maybe she spilled something her her skirt that she was supposed to wear over her hose and got inspired thinking it was a sign from god, maybe it doesn’t matter why or how this happened and what matters is that she doesn’t take her own advice and just Dance, because if she danced a little more she’d probably be a whole lot better to jerk off to and whole lot less black guys would be swooning over her, because in case you didn’t know girls, black dudes swooning over you is a sure sign you gotta go on a diet because Black dudes love meaty bitches and by meaty I mean fat.

Either way, watch the video, take it in and count the days before Aguilera incorporates this into her act. Only to switch it up, she plans on showing off her pregnancy bulge from her loose cunt. True story.

Posted in:Lady Gaga|Leno|Panties|Performance

2009

09

Jan

stepLINKS of the Day

Being sick is no fun, especially when it involves having fever induced nightmares of fat girls with assless pants and mini skirt that don’t quite cover what you’d want a mini skirt to cover on a fat chick, not that fat chick ass really bothers me that much, but it does when it’s my wife, and when everyong of these girls in my dreams turned around, she was sporting my wife’s face and a massive dick. I don’t really know what that says about me, and I don’t really want to further investigate, but I do know that sleeping is really my only alone time, so getting hit up by her in my sleep destroyed my little soul.

Here are my links from last night to start up your day.

Well, This is a Serious Turn On….
GO

Danielle Lloyd is Gettin’ Naked Again or Some Shit
GO

Carmen Electra is Heading The Way of Pam Anderson. Down, Waaaaaaay Down
GO

Because We All Need Family Time
GO

Elmo Poos Too!
GO

Weather Girl Looks Like a Real Winner, and By a Real Winner
I Mean a Complete and Utter Piece Of Shit
GO

And Here I Thought I Was The World’s Fastest Drinker
GO

Cindy is Just Plain Sexy
GO

Tribute to Girls in Football Jerseys
GO

Find Porn Here!
GO

Scarlett Johansson Wants to Put Her Tits to Good Use
GO

Extreme Tennis Camel Toe
GO

Sacrifice Your Friends for a Whopper
GO

The Southern Food Broker Corporation Super Broke Shuffle
GO

Here’s Some Sam Ronson
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Freida Pinto is All Over the Place and I Love It
GO

Give It Up For Kobe
GO

Alexa Loren Will Make You Cookies
GO

Taking the Racer on Ice
GO

How About Some Vintage Mini Me?
GO

Human Slingshot
GO

Louise Glover is One of a Kind
GO

Crazy Drunk Wants to Fuck With the Cops
GO

Jesus is a Friend of Mine
GO

Sluts Just Because
GO

Man Breaks Toilet Seats Over Head
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Babe Wakes Up
GO

Lily Allen, WTF Are You Wearing?
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Rosie Jones and Friends
GO

Sarah Shahi is Sexy, But Take Off Those Stupid Glasses
GO

They Make Dumpster Babies in Jersey
GO

12 Girls, 1 Tube
GO

Gravity is a Bitch
GO

He is Good With a Gun
GO

Kim K’s Ass Just Keeps Getting Better
GO

Base Jump in a Wing Suit
GO

Some Young Busty Chick Hot Self Shots
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS….

Some Asian Fetish Pussy Pics
GO

Some More of the ASian Model Posing
GO

Some Sluts on NYE Ring In the New Year Tongue Kissing…
GO

BONUS:

The 15 Hottest New Porn Stars
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

08

Jan

Lindsay Lohan in Interview Magazine of the Day

Lesbian Lohan is in the February issue of Interview Magazine. I am sure I could come up with something clever to say about these pictures, but I’ve decided to try to masturbate to them instead. I figure she needs a little dick, and if I can manage to work this limp dick into something functional is probably a great compliment to any girl. It’s actually on the same level of those miracles you see at evangelical churches, you know where the bitch on crutches walks after a preacher speaks in tongues and convulses for them like he’s channeling some kind of holy energy….I blame drinking.

Update….

I didn’t manage to finish the job, in fact, I hardly started. I sat with my pants around my ankles, my limp flesh in hand and nothing. I had to stop, I felt my neighbors’ eyes judging me because I don’t have blinds…but I figured why not share the pics with you….since that’s pretty much what I do every fucking day.

BONUS – Here’s a video of her shopping at Burberry alone and I think one of the Paparazzi calls her a bitch before asking her how the single life is treating her, even though her and Ronson are still rubbin’ cunts…..

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Police Escort

2009

08

Jan

Steve Martin and Martin Short Body Surf With a Topless Chick of the Day


Best friends and possible lovers, Steve Martin and Martin Short were vacationing in St Barts where they decided to take a break from fucking each other’s ass like their dicks were colonoscopies and sucking each other’s sagging old age pension testicles like they were a large fleshy vagina, and do a little body surfing with a topless chick.

Raining on their Gay Pride parade was Steve Martin’s younger wife Anne Stringfield, and here she is in a bikini. That’s really all I have to say about that.

Posted in:Martin Short|Steve Martin

2009

08

Jan

The People’s Choice Happened Last Night….of the Day

So the people’s choice awards happened last night and I didn’t watch them mainly because I have a penis, or at least claim to have a penis when I can hide behind my soiled underwear. Sure, I don’t have a TV, but if I did, I wouldn’t pollute my brain with this bullshit, take that People’s Choice Awards. I really stuck it to you in this post didn’t I , you cocksucker.

Here are some pictures of some of the people who were there, not by choice, but because they had to do it for their careers…..if you’re into jerking off to bitches who are all dolled up…

The highlights of the red carpet were:

Jewel’s Fucked Up Cleavage Matches Her Teeth…..

Nikki Cox and her Fucking Weird Lips…..

Annalynne McCord Working the Camera Harder Than She Works Her Girlfriend’s Clit because She’s an Attention Whore…

Here are the rest of the sluts….

Brooke Burke’s Cleavage:

Dakota Fanning’s Dress Fighting with Puberty….

Teri Hatcher and Her Disgusting Everything….

Paris Hilton and Her Annoying Poses….

Queen Latifah and Whoever She’s Hiding In Her Lesbian Dress….

Olivia Wilde, whoever the fuck that is….

Oh and Carrie Underwood was There But I Tried to Ignore Her….

Posted in:People's Choice Awards

2009

08

Jan

Mischa Barton in a Bikini in Goa of the Day

Sloppy Mischa Barton was in Goa for her Christmas vacation. All I know about Goa is that in the 90s, there was a group of hippie ravers in fur pants who used to get high and massage each other listening to Goa trance. Their dreams beyond being at one with the music and dancing in a sweaty disgusting mess into the afternoon, was to go to Goa for these crazy hippie parties on the beach under the moon, well it looks like Mischa Barton is living their dream, while they are being treated for anxiety issues that comes from too much ecstasy use 10 years after the fact….

I pulled this from her blog:

Here are some photos from my Christmas vacation in Goa.  The ocean there was so beautiful and warm I didn’t want to get out.  I would swim all day, ate mostly a vegetarian diet and bought some beautiful things from the vendors I bargained with — jewelry, saris, you name it.

I am pretty sure that this wasn’t written by Mischa Barton, but whoever wrote it is just as fucking boring as her, so I guess that means they are doing a good job. I feel like I am reading a sixth grade summer vacation re-cap assignment, like I do sometimes and I am pretty offended bitch didn’t pay retail for the jewelry, saris you name it. You know she can afford to pay the US dollar to feed the vendor’s family for a fucking week in exchange for their fucking smut they are peddling, but bitch had to jew out and negotiate. That offends me. But surprisingly, she was well received, probably because her ass looks like Sag Paneer .

Too bad she wasn’t in Mumbai a couple weeks ago, if you know what I mean. Here are her photoshop retouched bikini pics she released for attention….Nice head piece, looks like you’re really embracing the culture, you fucking cunt.

Posted in:Bikini|Mischa Barton

2009

08

Jan

Amy Winehouse is the New Nike Spokesperson of the Day

Word on the internet is that Amy Winehouse is the new spokesperson from Nike. I guess they liked that she had an emaciated body of a Kenyan runner and the lung capacity of a 75 year old chain smoker.

Sure, performance drugs are frowned upon in professional sports, but being able to pull crazy stunts, like having a professional music career, or doing cartwheels, while jacked on debilitating drugs, is considered stamina. Don’t believe what people tell you, because she is a fucking athlete, only her sport is getting high and she’s the Gold Medal winner.

I think it’s nice to see that Nike didn’t let her hard work, drive and passion to go above and beyond the average in getting high go unnoticed, but not as nice as her tits. Just do it.

Posted in:Amy Winehouse|Nike

2009

08

Jan

Nicky Hilton Buys Toilet Paper of the Day

I have no fucking shame, nothing embarrasses me anymore and I think drinking has something to do with that. When I first started up this whole alcohol abuse thing when I was a teenager, I’d feel like an asshole when I did stupid things like tried to get my friend’s girlfriend’s naked, or touching girls inappropriately, or getting in fights, I’d wake up a self hater who didn’t want to show his fucking face. Then as time went on, I got into bigger messes, made a bigger fool of myself everytime I drank than I did the time before and I’d be tearing people apart, puking, pissing, shitting fucking anything and everything you’d think you’d wake up regretting, and instead I just embraced it. There were times I couldn’t get it up for girls I was about to fuck, or times I came too fast. There were times I probably took advantage of situations and did real evil things and I just figured it was all part of life, you know normal fuck ups.

That said, over all these years there are still two things that humiliate me. The first is walking out of a public bathroom that smells like shit after taking a piss, knowing the next person in line will assume I stank it up because I am fat, so whenever that happens I catch myself justifying myself to a guy I don’t know about how I didn’t take a fucking shit despite what it may look like. The other thing is buying toilet paper. I always feel like the clerk thinks I am groundhogging/ you know ready to fucking dump as I rush to pay her for the shit and for some reason, I feel like a caged animal being watched when I just want privacy.

I have suggested to people I know to invent toilet paper vending machines, I have resorted to stealing toilet paper from public bathrooms even when I have the 3 dollars to buy a pack, I have used old socks, magazines and newspaper on my ass to avoid this shopping experience as best as I fucking can and I find it way more destructive to my self than pulling out my mini dick to fuck a chick only to have her laugh at me….

By the looks of it, Nicky Hilton and her drippy asshole don’t have the same issue as me. Instead of getting her maid to do her dirty work, she proudly parades to the world that she shits, and that she most likely has to shit as she rushes to her car to get home before it end up on her car seat and the whole thing is disgusting to me, but not as disgusting as the possibility that she’s picking this shit up for her sister’s drippy pussy.

Posted in:Nicky Hilton|Toilet Paper