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Sara Sampaio Shows Off her Pussy in Tight Pants Under the Guise that it is a Fitness Video of the Day

Industry Flesh Puppet Jessica Alba Propagandizes for the Machine of the Day

Sydney Sweeney is Glamour’s Woman of the Year of the Day

Paige Spiranac Feeling Herself Up of the Day

Margaret Qualley is Hot for an Ugly Chick of the Day

2009

Jan

Kanye West is an Asshole of the Day

13 Comments »

I hate Kanye West. You can tell dudes an insecure little pussy with no friends. He just secured a deal with Luis Vuitton to make some hip hop shoes for them, because that’s how these big corporations work, hire a celebrity to be the face to a new direction they are taking their shit.

Now he’s on some ego trip. Like he’s a fashion icon, because not only did his mom suck his dick and make him feel like a star when she was alive, but so did everyone else. He is the kind of guy in dire need of getting beat the fuck up and the only way we can do that is to not buy anything he does, or participate in his music.

That means, everytime it hits the radio, call your radio station and complain. That means standing outside your local record store staging hunger strikes and shit. This motherfucker is detrimental to the world and needs to be stopped.

In this video, he’s decided to joke around about changing his name to Martin Luis the King Jr and I find that offensive. Kanye hasn’t progressed society in anyway, he’s just a little 5 foor 6 cunt with small man syndrome and no mother.

Posted in:Asshole|Kanye West

2009

Jan

stepLINKS of the Day

12 Comments »

I was planning to orchestrate a huge production for Sam Ronson just to get my revenge on Lohan for reaching out to me. I came up with a few ideas, like getting 100 people to show up in Fuck Lohan T-shirts, or to convince 100 people to throw rotting fish at her as she DJs, or to get no one to show up to the event and have her and the club at a loss for why the only person in the place is staff, but then I realized I have no pull and I am too irrelevant for stunts, but it would have been funny, so I found a cheap bottle of wine, I drank it and I’m sitting on my computer. The night is still young so any crazyness can happen, but it usually doesn’t. So I guess training my penis to be a vagina was just a huge waste of fucking time….but again, I didn’t put much effort into.

Have yourself a merry little weekend you cocksucker, here are my links, I may be back tomorrow with something revolutionary, but that is definitely not a promise. Cuddles.

Everyone Wants Someone they Can Abuse….and not get arrested.
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The Girl Scouts of American Are Going to Have to Answer to Me
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There’s Something About Katie Green that is Big
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Tiffani-Amber Thiessen’s Hottest Pics
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Kiera Knightley Needs to Eat Some Fucking Food
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Uncle Jesse’s Girl
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More From the Gorgeous Tiny Chicken Machine Show
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Do the Crotch Hop
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Because It’s a Lot Cheaper Than Paying a Lawyer for Defending Your Rape Charge
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Meet Eva
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Holly Weber Needs to Take That Crocheted Bikini Off
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RIP Veatrice From Jimmy Kimmel Live
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Striptease of the Day
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Kelly Osbourne Checks Her Fat Ass Into Rehab
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Sigourney Weaver Granny Upskirt
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I Wanna Punch Shenae Grimes in the Face
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Boy George, You Fucked Up
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Sienna Miller is Bringing Her Tattered Vagina to Broadway
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Work out Alternative for Stay At Home Dad
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Nikki Case and Mina Play Pretend Lesbian
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Note to Self: Tigers Are Dangerous
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Well It’s Official. Pete Wentz is Definitely a Homo
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Diane Sawyer is Most Probably Drunk
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Audrey Bitoni is Busting Out All Over the Place
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And This Is Why You Should Never Go to China Ever
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How Else Are You Ever Going to Get a Girlfriend?
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Red Neck Dentist
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Walmart Brings the Smiles From All Over
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The Hottest Playboy Centerfolds from 1980 – 1985
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Kelly Rowland is Looking Real Hot
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Pussy Play in Public
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Mariah Carey is Such a Whiney Fucking Bitch
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Because We Both Know You Have No Other Plans This Weekend
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The Sluts WHo Tennis Fuck
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Bond Girl Cleavage
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Amanda Heard Has Me Hypnotized
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Protests in Isreal Pretty Much Look Like the Awesomest Thing Ever
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Lux Cassidy and Kayden Cross Arent Twins, But They Are the Next Best Thing
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Kat Khol’s is a Playboy Beauty
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Russian Parkour Failure
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use and Old Satilitte Dish to Boost a Wireless Signal
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I Love My Cell Phone In Your Vagina!!
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Courtney Love Hates the Jews
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The Best Review of Donkey Punch EVer
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Just Like Hollywood, In Politics You Just Sort of Fail Upwards
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Of Course the Obama’s Like Fisting, Who Doesn’t?
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Casey Carleson May Be Enough to Make Me Watch American Idol
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Crazy Tits in Vegas, Meet Crazy Tits in Toronto and Crazy Outfit in Miami. The World Seems to be Full of Sluts.
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Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

Jan

The Owner of Cirque Du Soleil Is Getting Fucked By a Brazilian Slut of the Day

3 Comments »

There’s a crazy billionaire divorce case going on in Canada that I read about in the paper while drinking a free coffee down the street from me. They aren’t revealing the person’s name because it is the law, but I figured I should.

The South American woman he had kids with is asking for more 50,000,000 dollars and 56,000 dollars a month for child support, because he is a billionaire and knocked her up, brought her out of her ghetto live and opened her up to a life traveling the world, doing lots of cocaine and living in fucking luxury. I was trying to figure out who they were talking about, then when I read the bitch was a model, I realized it is Guy Laliberte, the founder of Cirque du Soliel.

Now I know this because I knew a guy who used to fuck her in his mansion and in his indoor pool on the side when he was around the world setting up his circus. They used to have parties with thousands of people every June, that I was never invited to, but that people I know went to, and not only did he give each guest 100 dollar voucher to get a cab home, but he also had every single drug readily available, I’m talking piles of cocaine, bowls of pills and weed on the tables set around the party, not to mention it was open bar.

I am just posting this, because I feel like I broke a story no one cares about and that makes me feel good about myself, probably a lot better than he does now that his plan to no marry her still fucked him up the ass, not to mention she’s going to be taking him to court in Brazil, where the law may make him give her half his billion dollar fortune.

It’s times like these I wasn’t a brazilian aspiring model who made my life work seducing men then fucking them for retarded amounts of money I could only dream about in my little tribal village.

Here’s the article on the story….
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Posted in:Cirque du Soleil|Divorce|Guy Laliberte

2009

Jan

Barack Obama on Hot 97 Prank of the Day

3 Comments »

I don’t know what’s going on here, but it involves Barack Obama calling into the Angie Martinez show and talking to some other punk, that Obama ends up hanging up on after having a little talk with him, dropping a couple rhymes and the whole things pretty fucking weird to me, I mean why would the president call into a hip hop radio show, I am sure he’s not allowed to do that, I guess it’s got something to do with what Jay Z’s been saying all along, the president is black….or it could just be a prank, I mean, the dude says he’s part of a comedy show, so I guess you can decide for yourself, since it’s not that complicated to figure out, even for an idiot like you.

Posted in:Barack Obama|Hot 97

2009

Jan

Coleen Rooney is Still in her Bikini of the Day

5 Comments »

I know what you’re all thinking, that I can’t be doing another Coleen Rooney post, I’ve done so many already and she’s not even worth looking at in a bikini in first place, but like every experience I’ve had at public beaches or places where girls wear bikinis, I am forced to stare at any girl in front of me, no matter how disgusting she is, especially when she is the only one around.

The truth is that I know that no one is actually thinking about why I am doing another Coleen Rooney post, because no one, including me cares. So here are the pics.

Posted in:Bikini|Coleen Rooney

2009

Jan

Lady Gaga is Keeping Things Interesting of the Day

4 Comments »

So Lady Gaga did a good job distracting me from her busted up weird lookin’ face in another weird costume that is probably going over well in the science fiction clubs across america, because she’s looks like a science project gone wrong, or one of the robot women they fantasize about marrying because they can be programmed to do anything. I don’t know who this bitche’s target market is, but I assume it is teenage girls, because there’s no way grown ups can stomach her garbage music, so let’s just assume a lot of 16 year old girls will finally be walking around in their panties once summer hits, trying to be just like their weak chin, permanently opened mouth idol. I’ve been waiting for this day to come pretty much all my life, so we should thank Gaga for that, once it happens, which it will.

Shit, I missed the tampon string making a quick escape, I guess it’s because I didn’t think this monkey wore tampons…because I just assumed she was the kind of guy with a penis and not a vagina…

Posted in:Half Naked|Lady Gaga

2009

Jan

Kim Kardashian’s Driver Never Shows Up of the Day

11 Comments »

I guess I was wrong about KIm Kardashian, it turns out that she does know how to walk. Sure she only takes a couple of steps while looking for her driver, because even he knows she’s a useless nobody, not worth being on time for, but that’s more exercise than this pig has had all year. This is like running a marathon for her and you can tell in her panting that she feels the fucking burn.

Now let’s just hope the rest of the world takes her driver’s lead and forgets about her, because that is the only way to make this whore disappear. You got that? So stop jerking off to her fat ass, fat tits and fat head that you helped create. It is just that simple.

Posted in:Forgotten|Kim Kardashian|Whore

2009

Jan

A Tribute to Mariana Bridi da Costa’s Hands and Feet of the Day

6 Comments »

Some Brazilian Model/Miss World contestant was misdiagnosed for some infection and the doctor’s ended up wrongfully amputating her hands and feet. That’s some pretty scary shit. You know you go to the hospital to get fixed up and they end up fuckin ruining your life, or at least the life she knew. I feel bad for her and that’s saying a lot because I pretty much have no soul.

On a side note, I remember the first and last time I met a guy with an amputee fetish. It was in the mid 90s and the guy used to hang around the same bars as me. After he got a few drinks in him, he’d start to open up about how the thought of rubbing his dick on an amputee’s stump is the single hottest thing to him, and at first I thought he was joking.

But after 6 months of being slowly eased into his weird world by hearing the same fucking lecture, he started to open up a little more and talk about the hot amputees he found and seduced and had sex with. He then started bringing in amputee erotica and pictues of amputee porn that he found or took himself. The whole thing started becoming an obvious obsession. He got a job working at some rehab clinic for amputees, fitting them for fake legs and shit, and he would tell us about how fucking hard he would get if the right girl came in, sometimes rubbing her more sensually than his bosses would like, but a lot of amputees fell for him. Maybe it was because they felt disabled and unable to get a man, so they lowered their standards, or maybe he just had good game, but I do know that it was getting a little creepy after getting in a huge fight with a group of girls at the bar about how they may have all their parts in the right places and how obvious and inadequate that makes them…it was weird, but not as weird as when he disappeared and came back a year later on crutches because he decided to self-mutilate/amputate because he couldn’t go on with life, or get off lookin’ at his whole self, or some other crazy shit.

All this to say, that this Brazilian chick will have no problem finding some sick fuck to push her around and help her get her life back on track by using her stumps as sex toys or some other crazy shit that she can’t protest because it’s pretty hard to call for help with no fingers….or run away with no feet, if you know what I mean….

Either way, I found this funny tribute video I had to post because it’s some site just trying to get traffic and it’s badly done making it amazing…maybe I am just getting won over by the song choice….watch it.

Here’s a link to the story if you’re interested in never trusting doctor’s again.
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Posted in:Amputee|Mariana Bridi de Costa|Medical Malpractice

2009

Jan

Shaia Lebouf Rocks’ My Wife’s Sex Hat of the Day

2 Comments »

I am not going to spend too much time on this craziness, but I figured since I just posted Pete Wentz dressed in furry boots, I figure I should post a little Shaia Lebouf brown paper-baggin’ himself because it’s kinda the same clown behavior.

I assume this little cunt is letting celebrity get to his annoying little head, making him pull some kind of a Michael Jackson move, only instead of being scared of air and sun, this motherfucker is scared about bad press and us judging him for being drunk/high in public mid day, after losing his license for drunk driving, so he figures wrapping his hand in a plastic bag and his head in a paper bag will divert our attention from the stumble in his walk. I mean there is no other explanation for why someone would do this, unless he’s having a bad hair day, which is probably something vain celebrities stay inside for under normal circumstances, because they are soft little pussies, but not the kind of soft little pussy I want to fuck.

I know trying to mask myself because I was overcome with shame, I used to pull this same stunt everytime I jerked off in front of the mirror, or date raped a girl in front of a mirror, or on camera, you know I just couldnt stomach seeing my cries of pleasure, while knowing what I was doing was against god’s way.

Here’s a video from him later in the day showing how tough his is by calling the paparazzi fucking assholes after they prank him. Good times. I don’t really get why he’s still wearing a cast from an accident that happened in July, that’s pretty fucking weak of him, obviously it’s a cry for attention, like people who claim they have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, or some other made up disease. I guess they real tragedy is that his car accident back in July didn’t kill him, or leave him brain damaged and in a home, I figure he was driving drunk so he deserves it but more importantly, we don’t need these kind of people in the world, especially when they are shoved down our throat in the media and on TV.

Posted in:Paperbag|Shaia Lebouf

2009

Jan

Pete Wentz and His Furry Boots of the Day

5 Comments »

I don’t know what’s mo’ gayer, Pete Wentz pushing the boundaries of gender by wearing a pair of furry boots he bought because they reminded him of the first time Ashlee’s fucked his black furry cunt, or the fact that I am posting pictures of it because they made me laugh.

Speaking of laughing at gays, Ronson has a big night here in Montreal that I’ve been asked to not attend directly from Lohan, so I sent her this email.

Subject: Ronson in Montreal

Aren’t you excited?! Samantha’s playing in Montreal and I’ve been training my penis to look like a vagina all week. Between you and me, it wasn’t that hard.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

She didn’t answer, but I expect to be arrested tonight because she’s crazy and has more pull than me on the socio-economic ladder, so cops side with her, even though she’s fucking jacked on drugs and insane, while I’m just a normal nice guy…

Posted in:Furry Boots|Gay|Pete Wentz