I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

18

Dec

Some Chick I’ve Never Heard of Named Pauley Topless of the Day

her name is Pauley Perrett, she’s 39, she is on a show called NCIS that I’ve never seen but that sounds like a the bucket half filled with my wife’s red wine vomit from last week that is still next to my fucking bed after a week. I don’t know when they were taken, because 5 minutes ago, I didn’t know who this alternative model lookin’ slag was, but in my mind, titty pics are timeless and it just doesn’t matter because she’s topless and topless is always worth sharing…seriously girls…start sharing…no one’s sent me in titty pics in what feels like forever….

Posted in:Pauley Perrette|Topless

2008

18

Dec

Enrique Inglesias Makes Fat Girl Dreams Come True of the Day

You know that this fat chick has spent many nights laying in bed, listening to her Enrique CD, curled up to a box of Oreos and a bag or 2 of chips, dreaming about the day a man will sweep her off her feet and show her that they really give a shit about her, and that dream became a reality last night. Sure it only lasted a minute and sure, Enrique does this every fucking show, to really solidify how much of a romantic and hearthrob he is and is using her as a prop and after that set is done, they will go their seperate paths, never to run into each other again, but I know for that minute, she felt like there was no one else in the world, it was just her and Enrique and it was real. The thousands of screaming fans just disappeared as their lips connected and when it all ended, so did the single best experience of her sad life, and she didn’t even get to go home and finish him off, and that probably left her with a serious case of blue balls, because that’s what cock teasing does to people, but not to worry, I am sure there will be plenty more disappointment to come in her life, but that’s just the story of any fat chick, probably starting with the boyfriend she managed to lasso seeing these pictures and dumping her cheating whore ass for kissing a hispanic famous dude in front of the fucking world….leaving her alone and forced to kill herself parked outside Enrique’s house for ruining her fucking life by making her fall in love with something she can’t have….or something…

Posted in:Enrique Inglesias|Fatty|Kiss

2008

18

Dec

Ryan Seacrest Did Kimmel of the Day

This is one of the weirder clips I’ve seen on a late night show, and it pretty much is a joke around Ryan Seacrest giving back to the kids during the holiday season and the way he does it is by letting them be him for a day. So they go on to show the kid in the tanning bed, then another kid getting his chest waxed and the whole thing is a little fucking creepy. I guess my thinking Seacrest was a poofter was wrong, and dude’s just a Peter Ban boy lover. I am posting it because I hold everything Ryan Seacrest clost to my heart and following his career is my passion.

Posted in:Kimmel|Ryan Seacrest

2008

18

Dec

Nicola McLean is Christmas of the Day

This Nicola McLean bitch is the new spokesperson for Christmas or some shit. She is relatively a nobody, from the UK, on some reality shows and shit, but all of a sudden, the calendar hid december and next thing you know, new Christmas and winter themed pictures of her in her lingerie or showing off her tits at event start hitting the internet hard. I am not sure what’s going on in these pictures, but looks like Yahoo! goes a whole new marketing strategy to take over Google, because big titties seem to always work….

Speaking of big, I was at some point last night and my eye sight is fucking shit….I was pushing through this crowd of people and brushed into some tall, thin, long haired person. As I put my hands on her hips I softly said “excuse me for brushing up against you, I’m pretty big”, and that’s when the person turned around, smiled at me and was a fucking dude. True story.

I guess that’s got nothing to do with Nicola McLean or her tits, but since it was my company Christmas party for one, I figure my story ties in nicely…..and I guess that’s what matters.

Posted in:Christmas|Nicola Mclean

2008

18

Dec

The Carmen Electra Nude for Playboy of the Day

The highlight of my week was talking to a girl about how she lets her boyfriend cum inside her, because she was 18 and 18 is awesome. The highlight of your week will be these pictures of Carmen Electra that I will be asked to take down in a couple of hours, so take it in motherfuckers, or get to your newstand and buy the issue, like that’ll ever fucking happen when you can find it on the internet for free…..I don’t really understand why magazines still exist, but I do understand why Carmen’s taking her 40 year old body back to Playboy and that’s because it looks pretty fucking alright.

Posted in:Carmem Electra|Playboy

2008

18

Dec

Lily Allen and Her Miscarriage Fish Nets of the Day

Here are some pictures of Lily Allen in a homemade Coco Chanel shirt that I find kinda funny, because a bunch of years back, I did the same thing with a marker and a white t-shirt, only I didn’t do Coco Chanel, I went with Nike, because I wanted people to think I was into fitness and not trying to make some kind of commentary on designer clothes being a waste of money, despite Lily Allen’s closet probably consisting of more designer shit than anyone you know, leaving her in no position to get all ironic on our asses, if that’s even irony, because I am not a fucking English teacher and I don’t do definitions, but you know what I’m saying, it’s like a chick with implants stuffing her bra, or maybe it’s not like that at all, what do I fucking know, I’m hung over….

The good news is that her pantyhose to a good job keeping the fetus she’s been too emotional to flush and that she instead shoved back inside her in place. It’s like trapping the fucking thing in a net so it doesn’t run away like she’s on a fucking fishing trip, if you know what I mean….which you don’t because I don’t.

For the record, she may look like a dumpy short legged troll, but I’d still fuck her.

Posted in:Fishnets|Lily Allen|Shorts

2008

18

Dec

Some Crazy Homeless Dude Needs to a Record Deal of the Day

Part of what I do with my time is hang with homeless, drug addicted beggars on the street. I like to keep my shit real despite having a shitty apartment, wife and food in the fridge half the time. The truth is that I’ve always related to homeless people better than I have with corporate 9 to 5ers, maybe it’s because homeless people just don’t give a fuck about things like clothing, cars or showering, and just care about getting another fuckin’ drink.

Anyway, in my time for every 50 totally hopeless crazy motherfucker I’ve talked to, there’s always been one talented motherfucker, who just let whatever vice get the best of him, who needs a couple bucks to get some food or more crack or whatever and never really got to showcase their skills. There’s been artists, musicians and even an Academy Award winner, so when I saw this video of some homeless dude beatboxing, and I fucking hate beatboxing, but he’s sounding better than the shit I hear on the radio, better than Kanye West, I figured I’d post this shit cuz you never know, maybe it’ll help him get in touch with a record label or something and make his life better, and if it doesn’t at least you get to hear some weird shit you wouldn’t hear otherwise….I just made him famous.

Posted in:Homeless Talent Show

2008

18

Dec

Paris Hilton’s Bff Gets Slammed of the Day

In totally uninteresting news, Paris Hilton’s New Bff got slammed in the car following Paris Hilton around. Sure, it’s not the way you’d expect anything remotely close to Paris Hilton to get slammed….but it’s still funny to see her get her leg slammed by the car door and seeing her hurt, because you’d figure competing to be Paris Hilton’s best friend would be a painful enough experience and leave you hanging from the attic rafters once you realize what you just won, even if getting paid to hang out with Paris is probably better than her previous job, but I know that no money in the world would convince me to spend time with Paris Hilton, unless that time was spend hurting her. I’m crazy like that and lying, because if she paid me 1,000 dollars a week, I’d fuckin’ be by her side every fucking time she called on me, defending her honor, but that’s only cuz I prostitute my integrity for drinking money pretty much all the time….

Posted in:BFF|Paris Hilton

2008

18

Dec

Buy Scarlett Johannson’s Used Kleenex of the Day

So Scarlett Johansson was on Leno, she claimed she had a cold she got from Samuel Jackson, and they decided to auction this shit….

Here’s the ebay discription:

During her 12/17/08 appearance on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Scarlett Johansson blamed her cold on The Spirit co-star Samuel L. Jackson, saying she caught it from him. She believed that for this reason her cold had some “value.” During her appearance on The Tonight Show, she blew her nose into a tissue provided by Jay Leno. All proceeds of this sale will benefit USA Harvest, the charity of Scarlett Johansson’s choice.

That’s a really weird fetish , because anyone buying anything Johansson is doing it for sexual reasons, especailly when they are paying 2000 dollars for a dirty fucking Kleenex and I don’t know how they are getting away with it because the one time I tried selling my wife’s soiled panties on ebacy, because shit was gross and I knew that some dudes out there like gross, and are willing to pay for gross, you know putting her crusty shit on standing in front of the mirror, or rubbing it on their faces so they can smell her dirty ass but for some reason ebay kept pulling my auctions and banned my account….

But when you are NBC and a celebrity, you can take your germ filled kleenex to ebay for some kind of publicity stunt, that is hyngeinically just as disgusting as my wife’s shit stains, and you know anyone paying 2,000 dollars for this is not going to be doing anything wholesome with this shit, they are probably planning on cloning her, because it is time to replace that sex doll with Johansson’s picture taped to its face, with a real Johansson….Weird Science.


Check out this weird auction. I am really hung the fuck over…
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Posted in:ebay|Scarlett Johansson|Used Kleenex

2008

18

Dec

stepLINKS of the Day

I went out drinking and it was pretty life changing. I made the mistake of bringing my wife and now my shit hole I call home is worse than it was 3 weeks ago.Covered in puke and making me sick….. Don’t worry about me, I am drunk…here are my links…I am too drunk to try to bother wriring somthing. True Story…..Good thing I am drunk…

Happy Birthday Little Adolf Hitler
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Danielle Lloyd’s Tits Can Only Get Her So Much
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It Figures a Homo Like Clark Kent Kept a Diary
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Spencer Pratts Sister is Ugly, But Has a Fine Rack
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Shake It To the Ground, Bring It Back Up
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The 9 Hottest Russian Women, EVER
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Sophia Webber Needs to Take Those Jeans All the Way Off
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Why Hello Cecila!
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You Can’t Say SANDWICH?! REALLY?
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Jennifer Aniston Really Needs to Let The Past Go
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Aubrey O’Day Becomes Bisexual for Attention
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The Only Thing Left for Jordan to Brand with Her Name is AIDS Medication
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Halle Berry Nip Slip
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Mickey Rourke is a Real Looker
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And That’s Why You Don’t Show Off in Your New Mustang
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Ashley Simpson is a Dog and Should Be Trained As Such
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Because Bars Just Don’t Cut It In the Ways of Getting Laid Anymore
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The Top Ten Sexiest Women of 2008
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Because I Know You Can’t Do This By Yourself
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Striptease of the Day
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More Porn Than Ever I Know What to Do With
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The Ultimate Love Song, Because Your Life Isn’t Depressing Enough Already
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Kate Hudson Isn’t TRYING to Stay Single, She’s Just Using That As a Cover For Her Desperation
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Johnny Depp Can Fuck Any Women in the World, But He’s Banging This Ugly French Chick
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Mandy Musgrave is Kind of Hot in that Secretary Sort of Way
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More News on Lohan’s Stalker
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Bunnys Gotta Get Love Too
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Samantha By The Pool
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Toilet’s Really Do Have More Than One Use
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Gisele and Layla Celebrate the Holidays
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Brasilian Bikini Model Fight
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Who Doesn’t Like Having the Top Down?
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I Suppose We Can All Use an Extra Pair of Eyes
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I Dont Understand How Britney is Back If She is Looking For Disgusting Than Ever
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All the Single Ladies!!
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Make A Homemade Metal Detector
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The Us Government Hates Elizabeth Hasslebeck As Much As I Do
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SURVIVOR!!
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Playboy is Gonna Get Into Some Shit For This
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I Keep Watching This Fisting Video, So Here It Is Again
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More From the Victoria Secret Fashion Show
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The Naked Girls of PETA Over the Years
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Some Webcam Girl Shakes Her Ass
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Some Slut Dressed Like a Santa I’d Fuck From Behind
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Posted in:Uncategorized