I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

02

Jan

Kristin Cavallari’s Got A Horrible Ass of the Day

This just in, Kristin Cavallari has no ass and it’s proven to be pretty disgusting every time she tries to take a shit. No seriously, I fucking hate girls with no asses, even if they are skinny as fucking Ethiopian starving kids before their stomachs get distended, they’ve got to have a nice round ass, small or not, but this flat flap of skin trying to form ass cheeks between her thigh and back is just fucking confusing to me and maybe someone should send her some bathing suit bottoms that aren’t designed for girls I want to fuck. get it together Cavallari, you irrelevant assless, whore.

Posted in:Ass|Kristin Cavallari

2009

02

Jan

Kelly Brook’s Bikini From a Couple Days Ago of the Day

These pictures are a couple of days late and by the looks of her tits, so is her period, because the only explanation for tits that swell like the waves she is playing in, is “unwanted” pregnancy. I mean we can’t blame her, she’s on a romantic Holiday Season vacation with her boyfriend, it’s only natural to stop taking her pill a month prior to leaving on the romantic Holiday Season, because all she wanted for Christmas was a baby and he kept saying he wasn’t ready yet. I don’t really know what the fuck I am talking about, or who the fuck I am talking about because I can’t place this Kelly Brook bitch and I am too hungover to research the shit, but I do know she’s got some big ol’ tits and is on vacation with her boyfriend, so I just put 2 and 2 together, if you know what I mean.

On a sidenote…what a bad fucking post.

Posted in:Bikini|Kelly Brook

2009

02

Jan

Sophia Bush Pedicure of the Day

Sometimes I like to stand outside an asian “Sexy L.A. Nails” place, where women from all walks of life come together to get their feet scrubbed down and painted, to watch them women get their feet touched rubbed and played with. I don’t do this because I am a foot fetishist, but because I want people to think I am. I’m weird like that.

Here’s a video of Sophia Bush getting her feet did that will make you feel like you’re peeping in from the comfort of your own Mom’s basement.

Posted in:Pedicure|Sophia Bush

2009

02

Jan

stepLINKS of the Day

Since I celebrate the New Year a day later, when the New Year actually starts, and not when every asshole in the world is getting a fucking boner that the clocks about to strike midnight, I am pretty fucking tired from drinking discount liquor in discount bars with other alcoholics who don’t need a celebration to justify drinking, and that’s pretty much the way I like things….

Here are my links from last night a day later again, it’s become a pattern.

Kathy Griffen Gives One Hell of a NYE Address
GO

Hilary Duff Looks Semi Hot in These Maxim Outtakes
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Adriana Lima Topless Throwback
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Porn, What Is It Good For?
GO

No Arms, No Service
GO

How to Slap Women
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Sluts Get Raw
GO

Busta Rhymes Watch is More Famous Than He Is
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EXTREME CHAIR!
GO

Miley Cyrus Gives Her Thoughts On The Israeli-Palestinian Conflict
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Her Vagina May Be Ruined But Nicole Richie’s Post Pregnancy Body is Lookin Good
GO

Fergie Celebrates NYE Tranny Style
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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Jessiann Gravel Gallery
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Charles Barkley Just Wanted His Dick Sucked
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Who Knew Czech Babes Were So Hot
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When You Get a Car for Christmas
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A Gay Rafting Experience
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Pearl Shows Off Her Gems
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Guy Pierces His Own Cheek
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Lookin Good Sweetheart
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Start The New Year Off By Busting Your Load
GO

One Year in Forty Seconds
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Fuck the Ball Drop, This is Where It’s At
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Forklift Fail
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Carla Ossa is Heaven
GO

Blondes With Freckles
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Ashley’s Post Pregnancy Tits Aren’t Really Much of Anything, And That Makes Me Sad
GO

Christina Milian Pool Shot Throwback
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Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
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Rosie Jones and Kaylee Karver Are Nude
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How to Eat a Lady’s Taco
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Biggie Small Drama Continues
GO

Desperately Random Fun
GO

Some Big Ol Tits on a Big Ol Blonde
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The Top Ten Celebrities That Look Like Hookers
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Build Smoke Bombs and Fuck Up Some Shit
GO

Some MMA Ring Girl Search Bikini Pics
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

01

Jan

Best Tits of 2008 of the Day

My friend is obsessed with tits. All her talks about is tits, tits and more fucking tits. I can’t walk down the street with him because every girl we walk by, he turns to me and asks if I like her tits, or what I think her tits would look like naked, and if I thought her tits were saggy and if he sees tits he really likes he just stops in his tracks and kinda grunts an “those tits were amazing”, and the shit never fucking ends, so I asked him to do a list of his favorite tits this year and this is what he comes up with. Pawning my work onto other people is my New Year’s Resolution. Seriously….

Scarlett Johansson Really Ain’t Much to Look At Without Those Tits

The Only Thing More Irrelevant Than Shauna Sand’s Tits is Shauna Sand

Katie Price’s Fake Tits Could Sell Bread to a Baker or Raw Fish and a Can of Gas to Huff to an Eskimo

Some X-Tina Pregnancy Tit Insanity…

Cindy Margolis Needs to Use Her Chest to Get Her Career Back on Track

Jodie Marsh’s Balloon Tits Are Fine By Me

A Braless, Lesbian Lohan is the the Only Lohan I Don’t Hate…

Co-Co’s Tits Are Just a Fucking Joke…

Paris Hilton Fakes Her Tits Like She Fakes Not Having a Herpes

Finally Something More than Just Rhianna’s Music Speaks to Me…Yes…I Sit Alone Crying as I Listen to “Living My Life”…

Posted in:2008|Tits

2009

01

Jan

Best Bikini Shots of 2008 of the Day

I am on a role with this shit, here’s a list of some of the best bikini pictures of 2008 according to my panel of experts the consists of my stepdaughter and her drug dealing boyfriend…I figured it was only right since I’ve spent so many nights jerking off to thoughts of her in a bikini on family vacations…I mean..I mean…since she likes bikinis so much, it’s a passion of hers, so here’s that list….I don’t necessarily agree with it, but I’m not about to dig through the fuckin’ crates, I’m all about moving the fuck forward and this is just to entertain you today, you greedy fucking prick.

Heidi Montag May Be an Idiot, But She Knows How to Work the PR Machine

Victoria’s Secret Bikini Showdown

Ronson’s Got Quite the Body on Her Even If She Looks Uncomfortable With a Popsicle in Hand….

Jennifer Aniston Lonely Bikini Shots, Before She STarted Fucking John Mayer for Publicity and Attention….of the Day

Caroline D’Amore, Because We Had Fun Laughing At Her Pretty Much All Year And Sometimes The Joke Makes For a Better Experience Especially When the Bitch Looks Like Celine Dion…

Vanessa Hudgens/Kiddie Porn Motorboat Action

Hellen Mirren is Probably Hotter, Younger, and Thinner Than Your Girlfriend

Kim K Gets Her Yacht On Even Though We All Hate Her…

Tara Reid is the Bikini Shot, Even If She is Ugly

Posted in:2008|Bikini

2009

01

Jan

Best StepTV of 2008 of the Day

I figured we should re-cap stepTV since no one watches the shit even though it’s the heart of the site, I’m just too lazy to get out there to video tape, but in the back of my mind drunkenstepfather is a video site, so here’s a few videos that were put up this year for you to watch.

Meggan Malloy Dances for DSF.com

Passive/Aggressive Sex Rejection

Rapist Training Video

Hot Biker Slut

N.E.R.D Has Make a Wish Foundation Retard Dancers

The Baldwin Brothers Are Drunk

Tila Tequila (Thinks She) Is a Video Star of the Day

American Beauty Queens

Posted in:stepTV

2009

01

Jan

Best Ass Pictures of 2008 of the Day

I got my good friend to go through the site and send me what she thought were the best ass posts of 2008, I was a little too drunk to go through the shit or reflect on the year and remember ass pictures that were better than this and with laziness comes laziness, so I want to do my friend justice and post her lists and I’ll just agree with her choices because it’s New Years Day motherfuckers and I’d rather be fingering my asshole….

Nicole Richie’s Doesn’t Let Being a Mom Get Her Down. Her Vagina On the Other Hand….

You Figure Being on Dancing With the Stars Would HAve Made Kim K Lose Some Weight

Fergie Wears Mom Shorts, But You’re Probably Into That Cause You Want to Fuck Your Mom

I Don’t Know Who Natalie Pinkham is, But Her Ass is World Famous to Me

Mena Suvari Wore a Thong Bikini

Gisele Really Knows How to Start Fashion Trends

Emma B is Just Way too Much

Kate Hudson 12 Year Old Lookin’ Ass That I Am Sure You Will Love, You Fucking Sick Fuck

The Best Ass of the Year Was Helen Miren’s a Couple of Weeks Ago

Posted in:2008|Best Ass

2009

01

Jan

Lindsay Lohan’s Cry for Attention on New Year’s So People Don’t Forget Her of the Day

What better way to ring in the New Year than to show off to the world what the last 12 months of serious drug use has done to your shit stained body. I guess that was the motivation behind Lohan’s setting up these staged bikini pictures. I guess it’s hard trying to stay in the Limelight when the only job you can get is being your girlfriend’s sidekick at Night Clubs in Miami. It probably gives you a lot of opportunity to have alone time to think about where your life went wrong, how shitty it is as she’s choppin’ up the next fuckin’ line. It probably gives you enough time to get psycho jealous of Ronson and try to leash her in and tell her who she can and can’t talk to, because your broken little soul fears abandonment and likes to be the boss. Lohan is a crazy bitch, but at least she’s not a fat crazy bitch and by the looks of it, the drug abuse is doin’ okay for her especially when the shit finally kills her. I mean I don’t wish death upon anyone, but I the slow demise of an insecure, broken down, sad person is like porn to me. Fall from the fucking top you fucking cunt and just because you’re skinny, doesn’t mean you’re not a fucking pig.

Posted in:Bikini|Lindsay Lohan|Skinny

2009

01

Jan

stepLINKS of the Day

I just stayed inside all night. I was thinking about booking a last minute jetset off to Miami to spend the last few hours of 2008 and the first few hours of 2009 with Lohan and Ronson, then I thought maybe I’d hit up Vegas to get Fergie to sign my scrapbook as I waved to her from the dance floor as she hosted some party from the VIP room, then I figured the best bet would be to shoot down to New York and find Katy Perry, Carson Daly and whoever else did that fucking Ryan Seacrest countdown shit and get them to do body shots off my balls like we were all in college, but then I realized I am a fucking hurt bag with no money and I can’t do those kinds of things, and instead I stayed at home on the shit stained couch drinking anything I could find with booze in it, completely alone and it was fucking heaven. I don’t understand why an asshole would pay 200 dollars to be under the same roof, in the same bar as that whore Lohan, or any other shitty fucking celebrity who is getting paid to be there. It’s really a stupid fucking concept, it’s not like you can buy her a shot and get her to suck you off in the bathroom, despite how hungry for cock she is, it’s more like going to the zoo and watching the gorillas mate from 100 feet away. Either way, it’s not an issue I have to deal with.

Fuck New Years Eve, today is the time to get fucking wasted everything is cheaper and I am already drunk and here are some links…

The Best Way to End 2008 With a Bang is By Getting Arrested for Rape
GO

Why Hello Elle Macpherson’s Nipples!
GO

Lohan Buys Some Granny Panties
GO

Japanese Marathon
GO

Because I Know You Are Staying Home Alone Tonight
GO

Amateurs Galore
GO

Web Cae Stripdown
GO

Now THAT’S Some Cinematic Quality
GO

WTF Happened to Joaquin Pheonix?
GO

Remember Those Stills of Marisa Tomei Naked?
Well Here is the Moving Clips
GO

Star Jones is Slowly Turning Into Jahba the Hutt Again
GO

LESBIAN VAMPIRE KILLERS LOOKS LIKE THE BEST MOVIE EVER
GO

Tori Spelling Wants to Let the World Know About Her Eating Disorder One Paid Magazine Article At a Time
GO

Here’s That 1 Versus 100 Prank Again
GO

Because There is No Fucking Way You Have a Date Tonight
GO

Luna Rubs One Out
GO

Solange is Looking Good on The Beach
GO

Jenny McClain is on the Street
GO

A Cat Fight Always Makes Me Smile
GO

Brawl at the Mall
GO

Anna Strips Down
GO

When You Play Wth Fire(works) You Get Burned
GO

Train Crash Test
GO

Start the New Year Off With a Bang
GO

Pimp My….Nerf Gun?
GO

Miss Pole Dancer Barcelona
GO

More Kanye West Insanity From His Personal Blog
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And I Thought I Was Fucking Fat
GO

Teen Nudes Are Always Good For Something
GO

Roseario Dawson is Sending a Message Out About Something Or Another
Hopefully Its About Me Banging the Shit Out of Her
GO

Alessandra Ambrosio Loves the Snow
GO

Because Even a Horny, Drunk Chick on NYE May Not Sleep With You Easily
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Britney Spears Topless (sort of)
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Christina By the Waterfall
GO

Tis the Season to do sledding Double Back Flips
GO

Bypass Cabel Locks. In Case You Want to Fuck With Your Cable
GO

Bruno and I Have More in Common Than I Thought
GO

Fuck GPS Systems
GO

Random Time Wasters
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS