I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

20

Nov

Sam Ronson is Watching You of the Day

Halloween was probably about 3 weeks ago, I’m not very good with dates, since everyday is the same hamster wheel for me, but I think it’s time for Samantha Ronson to take her death mask off. I guess it’s the late nights, the drugs and the drinking, the dealing with Lohan’s pussy and spending hours trying to lick it clean, a task even a person with all the stamina in the world would probably burn out from.

I feel sorry for this girl, you know dealing with a cunt like Lohan every fucking day. Child stars aren’t normal humans, they are needy, selfish and fucking dangerously insane, and to get emotionally involved with one, is probably a good way to get dangerously insane by association. You know, always being criticized and in her cunt shadow, and then getting dropped the second she decides she wants cock, which with Lohan, could happen any second, and in the entire mess, you don’t get a chance to enjoy your moment in the limelight, you know getting dolled up and putting make-up on to look your best, instead you get psychological abuse, and a face that looks like HIV ravaged it….because you’re up all night babysitting an unappreciative, overly dramatic peice of shit who takes herself too fucking seriously, is overly intense, and thinks her life is some kind of dramatic series that never got picked up by a studio, and that she’s the fuckin’ star of….if you know what I mean…and the good news is that it always ends in suicide..


BONUS THAT’S NOT REALLY A BONUS….

Speaking of Suicide – Did You Hear This Story About a Dude Who ODed on Xanax Like He Was Winona Ryder, and He Did it Live on Webcam?
GO

Posted in:Samantha Ronson|Scary

2008

20

Nov

Prince William’s Prince Penis of the Day

So the Prince was caught taking a pee and now you all know what his penis looks like. It’s one of those things you probably could have gone without seeing, but girls seem to find him a heart throb and that dick’s worth a whole long of money, that even you’d consider getting on all fours and letting the future king enter your throne. I don’t know Royal speak, I’m more of the court jester or toothless stable hand shoveling shit when not doing inappropriate things to the horses, but I do know a cock when I see one, even if that cock is more powerful than pretty much every other cock out there….not that the Royal family are all that powerful anymore, but this dude’s slated to be king and that’s a hell of a lot better title than regional sales manager you’re working up to at your call center…

On a side note, I love how he’s holding his cock with some contorted peace sign, or like he’s a dainty model holding a cigarette or some shit….I am more into the “no hands” style because it allows me to hold the stall walls around me so I don’t fall over because I have pretty shitty balance….

Either way, look at the pics, ya gay.

Posted in:Penis|Prince William

2008

20

Nov

Aubrey O’Day and the Shittest Upskirt Picture Ever of the Day

Someone emailed me this picture of Aubrey O’Day having an upskirt and flashing what I think are panties. Thanks for the fucking lead buddy, this has to be the shittiest upskirt pictue I have ever seen. Considering this girl is pretty much a fucking prostitute, you’d think we could get it in a little better quality, maybe even with a little pussy lip hanging out of her dog’s mouth. But instead, I get this shit. I don’t even know what the fuck I am lookin’ at, but I’ll post it anyway, because that’s how fucking lazy I am….

Posted in:Aubrey O'Day|Upskirt

2008

20

Nov

Yvonne Strahovski’s Shower Scene from Some Show Called Chuck of the Day

I don’t watch TV and I have never heard of this show CHUCK, but apparently it’s about some computer geek or some shit who gets involved with the CIA, I mean that’s as far as I got into the show’s description, before realizing that it’s obviously a piece of fucking garbage, or at least a piece of fucking garbage to me, and that’s all that matters.

One of the actresses on the show is some Australian named Yvonne Strahovski, I’ve never heard of her because this is her first gig, but she jumps in the shower in her underwear, like all girls trying to break into the industry do and I guess it’s not really a big deal to the rest of the world, but to her loser fans who love her because she’s not all that hot and is nice to computer losers giving them hope to go on another day….that maybe one day an Yvonne Strahovski will walk into their lives and I guess nows the time I should ask you not to ask me why I bothered posting this…..

Posted in:Chuck|Shower Scene

2008

20

Nov

Bianca Gascoigne Gets Naked For NUTS of the Day

Bianca Gascogine is the stepdaughter of some famous Footballer and outed him for abusing her mother forcing him to disown her even though his sperm didn’t make her but his wallen bank rolled her. She was on some reality TV show in the UK and admitted she has breast implants and was scared that her drunken outburst ruined her chances at a career after the show without considering the fact that she has no talent and never really had the chance to have a career after the show….but then I came across these recent pictures of her topless in NUTS Magazine, I’m sure not the first time she’s got topless for nuts, in fact, she’s probably only topless in NUTS because she got topless for the right nuts after being a drunken mess at a bar, not that being in NUTS is a sign of this fabled career she dreamt of having when back in denial of being a party slut whore actually happening, but it is a sign that she’ll get naked for money and exposure and that will lead to only one thing and that is video of her getting fucked that I’d watch, because unlike the 1000s of men who have experienced her pussy first hand, it’s the only way I’ll be able to ever know what her pussy looks like when it quivers….

Posted in:Bianca Gascoigne|Naked|Nuts

2008

20

Nov

Rebecca Loos Topless on the Beach of the Day

I don’t know when these pictures were taken, but I feel like I’ve seen them before….They are of Rebecca Loos…..she was David Beckham’s assistant who he diddled while Posh was back home in the UK taking care of the kids and by taking care of the kids I mean drinking scotch and eating downers like they were candy while yelling at the nanny to shut the little fuckers up because they were interrupting her Friends marathon. That’s what retired popstars do, when they have all the time and money in the world and apparently they also get breast implants, because after this scandal went down, there was no way Posh would let Loos get away with seducing Beckham with her insane tits and got a pair of her own. Money may not by happiness, but it does buy tools to win your man back from some big titty slag, even though Beckham is gay and was only diddling Loos to help distract the world from his all night orgy with 15 of his teammates in the locker room….

Either way, here are some old pics of her topless because everything else I’m coming across today sucks.

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Bonus – Here are some old pictures of her posing in a bikini
GO

Posted in:Rebecca Loos|Topless

2008

20

Nov

Solange’s Video Premiere for T.O.N.Y of the Day

So Beyonce’ baby momma of a sister Solange hs a new video called T.O.N.Y. I didn’t really listen to the lyrics, because I am hung over and not in the mood to get raped, but I guess it’s about a one night stand that she had where she was a naughty girl who didn’t use a condom which could be the truth behind her own pregnancy, that landed her shotgun married 7 months before her baby was born and I am posting it because she’s sitting on the toilet and I like seeing girls on the toilet, unless they are taking big nasty shits and are my wife and need my help cleaning up, but for the most part seeing a girl peeing or taking a pregnancy test gets me excited because it makes me think I am still virile and that they have vaginas, not that I ever had sex with Solange, unless you count watching the video with my limp dick in my hand sex, not because I find her hot, but because I got nothin’ else goin on today and I like to be reminded of how pathetic I am….

Posted in:Solange|Video Premiere

2008

20

Nov

Benji Madden’s Gone Gay Since his Breakup to Herpes of the Day

I heard that Benji and Paris broke up yesterday because Paris Hilton went off and fucked Stavros the other night and it was all over the news and Madden had no choice but to break up with her to keep his manhood, a manhood that Paris Hilton has murdered, or maybe it was because Benji was caught jerking off to pictures of him and his brother in concert, or some shit, but like his suburban tattoos, Paris left her mark on him for life and that mark is herpes.

I guess, dude was hoping to marry her because like any guy who gets a permanent STD off a chick, he throws in the towel nd doesn’t want to have to go back into the market and have to tell the new girls he gets with that he’s tainted and will not only tickle their pussies but also make their pussies itch for the rest of their lives, because it is embarrassing, not that any of his groupies would really turn him down, because the chance to get his herpes would a fucking dream to them and they’d take pictures of the scabs and frame them on their wall or post on their Myspace, like the girl I used to know who collected used untensils from a guy she was in love with but who wouldn’t love her, because she was ugly….

Either way, breaking free from that cunt is a fucking blessing and it’s nice to see that he’s moved onto new prospects, like going home late at night with Steve Aoki, but in his defense, bending Aoki’s skinny asian body over the couch isn’t all that gay, you know he does have long hair and all…but it is the gateway to accepting that Paris Hilton helped him realize his true love for cock, because after being with her rank pussy, there’s really no fucking way you’d ever see pussy the same way again…..or want to see pussy again.

I hate Paris Hilton, but texted Stavros this message, because someone sent me his phone number years ago:

Stealin’ Benji’s girl man? She’s got a lazy eye! Is Paris a better fuck than she is in the movie?

I was drunk and I am sure could have come up with something better, but I didn’t and he never answered me! What a waste of a celebrity or a rich kid who fuck’s celebrities phone number, if i was smarter, I’d call him and fuck with him like those French Radio hosts did to Palin, and not send a weak text message because I have nothing to say about Paris or Stavros but I do hate myself.

Posted in:Benji Madden|Break-up|Paris Hilton|Steve Aoki

2008

19

Nov

stepLINKS of the Day

I got this email….

Hello,

QVC is searching for Men and Women with a background in hosting television, internet broadcasts, radio or live events. You MUST have host credits to be considered.

Host must be energetic, upbeat, intelligent and enthusiastic with a natural curiosity. You must have a passion and drive for sales as well as be a quick thinker and good listener. Hosts should be friendly, credible, entertaining sincere and sophisticated with a sense of style and fashion

Your website has a great readership and I was hoping you could let them know of our search.  
 
Information on the casting can be found here:
 

My response….

Dezmon,

I may not be experienced in hosting television, but I am pretty persuasive. Seriously, every time I want to get a blowjob, I just take 50 dollars out of my wife’s purse and get a random street whore to rock my shit. I think that skill could really be used to QVC’s advantage when lookin’ for a new host…

I am also overweight and feel that that would really speak to the losers who are at home in front of their TVs watching QVC…ya know.

Let me know if you are interested and I can send you the headshots you need, but they may not be the headshots you’re used to.

I look forward to your response….

With Love, 
Jesus Martinez
Drunkenstepfather.com

Here are my links…

Because One Day Your Cock Will Be Old and You Won’t Be Able to Use It…So Take Advantage When You Can…
GO

Victoria Beckham’s Got Some Hot Tits
GO

Here’s a Fast Fucking Hamster
GO

Megan Fox is Your Obsession
GO

Brad Pitt Really Hates Jennifer Aniston
GO

Carmen Electra Crotch Shot Throwback
GO

I Think This Cat is Smarter Than I Am
GO

The Hottest Puerto Rican Chicks Ever
GO

A Diving Board Fail is Always Good For a Laugh
GO

I Guess Grandma Was Hungry
GO

Find The Best Porn on the Internet According to Me
GO

Web 2.0 Will Solve Your Browsing Needs
GO

Were I Just a Bit of Black Spandex Cloth, I Would As For Nothing Else
GO

Lohan and Ronson Need Their Own Reality Show
GO

You’re the Man, David Hasslehoff
GO

How NOT to Drive You Car. Ladies, Take Note
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Cat Box Fight
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Rhianna’s Gucci As Almost Made Me Touch Myself
GO

Ashley Dupre is Hanging on to What Little Thread of Fame She Had With All Her Might
GO

Nicole Graves Doesn’t Need a Man, She Needs My Cock In Her Mouth
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Here’s One Hot Ninja Who I WOuld Gladly Let Kick My Ass
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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Human Speed Bump
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Fuck You Ed Hardy
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Dutch Babe Flys Solo
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Paris Hilton and Benjo Broke Up Because She Fucked Stavros and He Was Caught Jerking Off To Pics of his Brother
GO

I Wanna Bang Kate Beckinsale So Bad It Hurts
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Anna Kournikova May Be Back Out On the Market
GO

IT Couldn’t Have Been More Perfect If It Had Been Planned
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Let’s Call Bush The Puppet Master
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Striptease of the Day
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Sex Tape Goes Oh So Wrong
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A Man Gets Caught Having Oral Sex With a Jar of Pasta…I Prefer Fucking a Bag of Chicken Skin..
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Wedgie Gallery
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The Most Masculine Man Bra Ever…Well Not Really…But It’s a Bra Made for Men
GO

Megan Gale is Looking Good At the James Bond Premier
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Skipping in the Nude
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This Video is Fucking Vile….
GO

Mel B and Kelly Monaco to Perform Topless in a Vegas Show
GO

Ladies Beware of Frank….He Shits on Kitchen Floors
GO

O-Face or Melrose Face
GO

The Hottest Women Celebrity Chefs
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Lucy Pinder Very Naked in Nuts Magazine
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Amy Winehouse is a Vampire…
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Because I Know You’ll Never Ask For Help
GO

Geraldine Bazan Does a Good Job At Looking Good
GO

Mya Will Make You Sweat
GO

Lanni Barbi is Slammin
GO

I Can Think of Many Places For Jessica Simpson to Put Her Newly Injected Lips
GO

Aly Michalka is All Sorts of Sexy
GO

Dance Like Beyonce
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How NOT to Spice Up Your Sex Life
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Jennifer Garner Stalker May Be One of You…I Mean…It is Probably One of You…
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS….

Hot Young Topless Chick
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Some Slut in a Tube Top
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

19

Nov

Snoop Doggy Dogg Does Martha Stewart of the Day

Snoop Dogg was on Martha Stewart and I don’t really have much to say about it, because shit’s a strange fucking mix, but not as strange as when you see Martha Stewart bust her gangster speak from when she was in prison getting rapped by some random fists. It is 16 minutes long, I just thought it was so obscure that I had no choice but to post it. Dude’s obviously trying to reach a whole new market by charming middle-aged moms with his parenting skills….because he’s trying to show the world a whole other Snoop dynamic as a married man with kids…like he’s Will Smith or some shit….

Here’s his 5 tips to being a good parent….

1-Know when to lie to your kids….

2-Know when to be mean, know when to be a friend….

3-Always stay in control….

4-Serve Them Gin..Juice but Hold the Gin….

5-When a kid gives you attitude, pop it when it’s hot…

He’s just so clever at self-promoting, you know droppin’ his lyrics into the shit…..then they go off an make mash potatoes…and introduce his entourage. Then he goes off teaching his Snoop-Linguistics because he doesn’t really we are tired of his shit and that’s when I dropped this video cuz it sucked.

Posted in:Martha Stewart|Snoop Dogg