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Jenna Ortega for the Beetlejuice Photocall of the Day

Kelly Brook From Big Titty Model to Big Back Model of the Day

Charli XCX for Demon Kim Kardashian’s Brand of the Day

Christina Aguilera and her Botox Face and Ozempic Body Get Slutty of the Day

Shannon Mcmullen is the Instagram Of The Day

2008

Sep

Traci Bingham’s in a See Through Shirt of the Day

4 Comments »

Traci Binham is wearing a see through shirt and showing off her big fake tits even though she kept it classy with a bra on, despite not needing a bra, which is a bullshit reasons a girl once gave me for why she got fake tits, because she thought they woulld pay for themselves after 20 years of not buying bras, as bras are getting more and more expensive these days, when in reality she did it because she was insecure about her small tits and wanted more male attention, but who really cares. Breast implants worked for Bingham, they got her in Playboy and on Baywatch and I guess she’s not ready to give up on them, so here’s Traci Bingham in her see through shirt with some Rod Stewart lookin’ motherfucker, because I’ve had enough of the internet for the day.

Posted in:See Through|Traci Bingham

2008

Sep

Petra Nemcova Dresses Like a Dude of the Day

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This summer, I got conned into going to a waterpark with my neighbor and his kids because he was willing to pay and I was willing to check out girls in bikinis. I am not one for getting into a bathing suit or going on rides because I find them too labor intensive. You have to walk up stairs with your tube, and walking is something I don’t consider a necessity in having a good time, so I just sat by the wave pool and would try to convince hot mom’s to reenact the Tsunami with me. I’d be like, you play Petra Nemcova and I’ll play her photographer boyfriend and when a wave comes, I want you to run out of the pool and pose like you’re a model, then fake cry, start a charity and attend these glamorous events for the next 2 years and I’ll just stay behind and die. Needless to say, it wasn’t a big hit.

Posted in:Dude|Petra Nemcova

2008

Sep

Delta Goodrem’s Got No Upper Lip of the Day

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People think my standards and expectations are too high because I rip into the physical appearance of celebrities and people I’ve never heard of but who think they are celebrities and who attend red carpet events and are guest on the Letterman show. But the truth is that I don’t know these people, so how they look is pretty much all I have to judge them with. The other truth is that I have no standards, but I can spot someone’s flaws in about a second after lookin at them. So despite wanting to fuck this Delta Goodrem bitch, who is some Australian singer I’ve never heard of, I can say that she’s got no upper lip and having no upper lip is always unattractive, because thoughts of her boney mouth bumpin teeth on my dick because it’s got no padding disgust me. It lso makes me imagine that her pussy lips being equally thin, weak and non existant and despite a weak girl being a hot girl, because they are easier to throw around, a weak pussy is just not something I’d choose in a police line-up of pussies as the one I want to get down with.

Posted in:Delta Goodrem|No Lip

2008

Sep

Check Out the Dude in These Bijou Phillips Pictures of the Day

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I like to hate on Bijou Phillips, I don’t really know why. Maybe it’s because she never added me to Facebook, but it’s probably because she’s one of those LA rich kids who moved to New York to be a hipster, living the cocaine party slut fashionista life, and she looks like she takes her life too seriously. I remember hearing a story about her, where she went home with some film maker or DJ who was dating some model, and bitch let him fuck her up the ass. I am not lying. She’s accessible like that and why wouldnt she be, she’s clearly on some kind of quest to find herself and like all girls on a quest to find themselves, they slut out.

I know that she’s dating Hyde from That 70’s Show, who also won’t add me to Facebook. I am sure it’s got nothing to do with me saying they have Aids and more to do with no knowing who the fuck I am, but that’s the kind of internet snob behavior that proves a person takes themselves way too seriously, that pisses me off, not as much as the model who found out that Bijou Phillips seduced her fiance that she lived with with anal sex, but it still pisses me off.

That’s why I think this post should be about the guy in the background of the pictures, because he’s far more entertaining to look at than this try-hard hipster slut.

Posted in:Aids|Bijou Phillips

2008

Sep

Drew Barrymore has a Soft On for Clinton of the Day

3 Comments »

Girls are so predictible, you put them in a room with someone with power, and their panties slowly disolve with the excitement they are excreeting from their vaginas, and Drew Barrymore is no exception….

It looks like her left wing, hippie, big bush, democratic self is already 3/4 of the way to cumming as she poses in a picture with Bill Clinton. The good news for her is that he has proven that he has no standards and as long as she’s willing to put his dick in her mouth, he’s down. The truth is that she is a ste up from that Lewinsky slut, a very small step up, but a step up nonetheless and when you are an aging man with a heart problem, it’s against the rules to turn that kind of opportunity down….

Posted in:Clinton|Drew Barrymore|Horny

2008

Sep

Nicole Scherzinger Dance Lesson of the Day

4 Comments »

So the Pussycat Dolls are all about false advertising. They do these stripper performances in stripper outfits and they never actually take off their clothes and just sing and dance instead. It reminds me of the time I went to a stripclub during the day a few years ago and the girl on stage had a headset mic set up like she was Britney Spears or Madonna and as she was twirling around the pole, she broke into song. I thought to myself that this was both the weirdest concept I had seen at a strip club, even weirder than the girl who had a dildo attached to a remote control car and her assistant would let the audience try to drive it in her, and the funniest thing I had seen in a strip club, even funnier than the time in the 90s when a friend of mine in white pants came out of the lap dance area with a shit stain on his knee. I guess, the real reason I liked it was because of the broken dreams I knew this girl had, with enough confidence to sing on stage, I knew she would have rather been performing in her clothes in front of a real audience as a recording artist and not as a girl some old pervert is going to pay 10 dollars to touch. The crying in her voice made the whole experience that much more believable and that is why people like Nicole Scherzinger and the Pussycat dolls piss me off. They mock girls like the singing stripper I once saw and I take it personally, but not as personally as the stripper who I heard killed herself by taking too many sleeping pills…..

But that’s not the point of this post, the point is that we can all learn a few things from Nicole Scherzinger and her catalog of dance moves, and today’s lesson is the “Dog Piss Kick”. All you gotta do is squat then kick…..and once you master that you are one step closer to impressing girls in the club by busting out this move as part of your best Nicole Scherzinger impression, and by impressing girls, I mean making a fool of yourself.

Posted in:Nicole Scherzinger|Pussycat Dolls

2008

Sep

Aubrey O’Day’s Cruelty To Animals of the Day

5 Comments »

I guess being obnoxious trash in an obnoxious shitty band that was created on an obnoxious garbage show produced by an obnoxious hip hop superstar wasn’t enough for Aubrey O’Day’s quest to get noticed, so she went out and got herself an obnoxious lap dog to take out with her everywhere she goes because she hates being alone, making people ask “who is that girl who brought her dog to the restaurant, that’s kind of inappropriate”, leading Aubrey to think she’s being noticed, recognized and liked until she lifts up her skirt and starts trying to shove a fork into her weathered vagina to see if it’s still breathing, making the people around her forget about the dog, because they are too disgusted, amazed, intrigued or thrown off by what they just witnessed and forgetting about the dog is the totally wrong outcome of this whole getting a dog in the first place, so Aubrey gets back to the attention whore drawing board and realizes that everyone in LA has an obnoxious white lap dog that they take to events, what if she was to decorate her dog like a Christmas tree, then everyone will notice the dynamic duo and this is the result of that brainstorm session…..

The whole thing makes no sense to me, decorating your dog seems like something only serious trash would do. You know the same kind of people who decorate their sweaters with Bedazzlers, or their car dashboard with stuffed animals, or their shitty trailer park home with everything Mickey Mouse…actually it is all starting to make sense…

Posted in:Aubrey O'Day|cleavage

2008

Sep

David Blaine’s Stupid Stunts of the Day

10 Comments »

I ran into a girl who told me she made a point of watching this David Blaine stunt because she was convinced he was going to die despite it being aired on ABC, a family network. She told me that it was the biggest scam she ever witnessed and I figured I should find it and post this stunt that wasn’t really a stunt. The dude was supposed to jump 60 stories after being hung upside 60 hours, but instead all I saw was, smoke, mirrors and cables that probably weren’t supposed to be as obvious as a movie from the 60’s flying scene. The production crew was a little too slow moving to make it seamless as they attached him to the balloons he floated into the air on, and he just chilled out attached to cables at the bottom of the rig and the whole thing was a fucking disaster. I guess when you take a street magician, and give him the venue to come up with different ways to defy odds, he’s bound to run out of ideas or fuck up at least once. Blaine’s next trick….retirement.

This video is about as shitty as I feel today. Thanks David Blaine for giving me something to benchmark my unhappiness to.

Update:

I forgot to mention the Jimmy Kimmel announcer trying to cover up the mess with false enthusiasm….shit totally bombed and is a definite career killer. Let’s hope the girls from The Hills hire him as a consultant….

ANOTHER UPDATE –

Here’s a video of the paparazzi suckin’ Blaine’s dick about his shitty trick last night and Blaine offers an explanation as to what went wrong, and as expected, it was George W. Bush’s fault.

Posted in:David Blaine|Stunt

2008

Sep

Youtube Mainpage Video of the Day

2 Comments »

I hate fart jokes a lot, I find them the elementary school answer to a cheap joke, and the truth is when someone farts around me the smell offends me just enough to not laugh. I was at a bar last night and went to take a piss, and I don’t really know what the fuck happened, but the whole area smelled disgusting. There was no one in the bathroom, just some prick who has something seriously wrong with his insides and since my nose is fucked and I am forced to be a mouth breather, I don’t generally notice these kinds of things, excet last night, I tasted it.

Either way, fart jokes annoy me, people farting is disgusting, even if everyone does it, it doesn’t make it right, despite what some girl I once dated for about 2 weeks used to try to convince me when she’d fart after sex, true story. So when I saw this video on Youtube’s mainpage called Je’Rid’s Sexy Farts I felt the need to post it beause the editor’s at YouTube are idiots.