I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

02

Oct

Brooke Hogan’s Leopard Print Bra of the Day

Brooke Hogan is a fucking beast and she’s out showing off her big weird new tits in a bra to distract us from the pulsating 4 inch clit she’s got tucked away nicely in her pants. I have no idea why she’s making that scary face, but I assume scary faces is something the people close to Brooke Hogan are used to, especially the dudes who get to fuck her. I remember a while back, I was banging this girl who made the scariest fucking facial expressions while having sex. It was like watching a Jim Carrey movie, only it wasn’t funny. Shit went from normal passionate faces, to slowly getting possessed faces, to bad cartoon faces and always ended in tears, the worse thing about it was the noises that came along with those facial expressions, from grunts, to screams to cries of bloody fucking murder and I never knew whether to laugh or cry or put a pillow over her face, but I did always know that it was a total cockblock and was pretty much successful in not letting me come to orgasm. I guess it serves me right for pickin’ her up at some instution for the deaf.

Posted in:Beast|Brooke Hogan|Tits

2008

02

Oct

Britney Spears Does it for the Kids of the Day

I wonder who’s amazing idea it was to let the crazy lady play with innocent, unsuspecting kids. I remember when I was a kid, my foster parents took us on a trip to visit some religious cult in the mountains during the winter. Now I don’t know how familiar you are with religious cults, but they tend to breed insane fucking offspring. Sure the parents are all recovering addicts, fucked up people trying to get reformed, or just molestors figuring attaching themselves to something seemingly normal will distract the other parents from realizing that they like jerking off little boys. One night the parents had some Jesus dance, that was probably an orgy or something else twisted and distorted for God and they left this goth, before goth was really popular, who had been institutionalized numerous times for drugs and attempted suicide and assault and battery, fat 15 year old daughter of one of the families in the group to watch over the 5 kids of the other people in the group. Within five minutes of being left alone with the psycho, she was putting knives to are necks, threatening to burn down the house and even locked me outside in my pajamas to fend for myself because I called her out for being a fucking nutcase and making the other kids cry. In retrospect, I would rather have spent the night with her, than be alone with Britney Spears, despite how financially beneficial Britney is for ever dude who ever sticks his dick in her, she still remains and unstable mess of a person and I am pretty sure her pussy doesn’t smell like roses, unless those roses are dipped in rotting flesh, in which case she may smell like those specific roses, but not the roses you buy your mom on Mother’s Day.

Posted in:Britney Spears

2008

02

Oct

Some Shitty Hip Hop Video’s Got Some Fat Ass in it of the Day

I got this email saying that some Kim Kardashian twin was in some hip hop video, so I decided to click the link, because I was expecting to see the shit take place at a fast food joint, where the Kim Kardashian twin was smearing burgers all over her fat body, but instead I got this amateur garbage set to a shitty fucking song with some girls in cheap clothes who obviously think they are hot enough to be real hip hop video girls, but are in fact definitely not fit for the bill. Watch it, it made me laugh, probably because the dude behind the song and the video actually thinks he’s got skills or talent to take him to the top….but maybe it’s just because the girls are busted.

Posted in:Hip Hop Shit

2008

02

Oct

Shannen Doherty Tries to Be Hot Again for Details Magazine of the Day

Shannen Doherty did a Details Magazine photoshoot and I think it’s pretty safe to say that her time is done. These remind me of some kind of Sears Catalog portraits only the trying to be sexy Flea Market version that you’d see above your trashy friend’s cocktail waitress mom’s bed, or that you’d see a fat middle aged mother getting done for her blue collar husband on their 20th wedding anniversary to show him that she’s still got it going on while trying to compete with the posters of cheesy fake titty sluts that he has all over his garage. The only thing that is worth anything is the Orange juice in the picture, but in all fairness to Shannen Doherty, I haven’t drank juice in months, my wife won’t buy the shit and I think I have scurvy and my body is craving vitamin C, but that doesn’t change the fact that her time’s pretty much done.


To See The Rest of the Pictures
GO

Posted in:Details|Photoshoot|Shannen Doherty

2008

02

Oct

Sarah Palin Playing the Flute of the Day

What country is complete without a President or a Vice President who spent some of her youth participating in Beauty Pageants, wanting to be a journalist, losing to an Alaskan Salmon, only to end up in Politics, who is anti-feminists, who thinks women should be house wives, who’s daughter got knocked up when she was 16, who didn’t back down on her anti abortion morals, that we all know is just bullshit politics to get votes, and who pretty much contributed to ruining her daughter’s life, who seems like an idiot, who isn’t all that well spoken, unless maybe you’re some kind of Gold Prospector or Inuit, but who can play a serious flute….

People email me asking why I care about US Politics, like that it is so insane that I write about the shit, or laugh about the shit. The truth is that I don’t, but I think it’s pretty ignorant to think the rest of the world doesn’t care or has no business caring about who is running the USA, considering you live in a country that influences or affects every country in the world, especially the one attached to your obese, uneducated asses as well as the countries you are bombing. I think it’s everyone’s business and we are all still shocked that Bush won in the first place after the Florida scandal, that Bush won for a second term after his first embarrassing run and we all know that you people are on a suicide mission, and we’re trying not to be the one on the ledge with you trying to talk you out of it, because we know what we say doesn’t matter and you’ll just grab us by the collar and bring us down with you. It’s the American way. You egocentric, patriotic cocksuckers. I like people who can step back and see how they’ve done wrong, not drones who just think they’re the best because they are told they are the best and everything they do is the best because they are the ones doing it. Let’s have a little self hatred for a fucking minute and keep emotions at the fuckin’ door and realize that Bush is illiterate and running your country for the last 8 years…Does that make any fucking sense to you, I don’t even let illiterates do the cash for me at the grocery store.

Either way, here’s Palin’s only talent…at least according to her, enjoy.

Posted in:Flute|Sarah Palin

2008

02

Oct

Little Britain USA is Fuckin’ Crazy of the Day

A friend of mine who I used to work out with about 10 years ago for about 2 months sent this clip of the new HBO show, Little Britain USA, which is a spin of of a UK show called Little Britain, that is some comedy show that makes fun of social observations. The reason I am posting it is because one of the 20 times I went to the gym with this dude, we went down to the locker room to put our coats in a locker and for him to take a shit because we had come with all our gear on and we walked into what seemed like a homo party.

Dudes were showering together and chatting about fucking chicks and getting drunk and business and all other things and when it came to drying off decided to stand right next to me as I patiently waited for my friend to finish and they continued to chat about random shit. So they stood right next to me completely naked for at least the 5 minutes we were in there, completely naked, drying off, as if neither wanted to make the first move to put some clothes on because it would lead the other one to believe that they aren’t as macho, or as comfortable being naked as the other one or some weird jock shit. So neither was budging, just naked, chatting about all things business and I didn’t think they were fags for being Jimbo’s together, or being naked next to each other, because it really wasnt that big of a deal, and if I was more comfortable with my small penis, I wouldn’t give a fuck who saw it, but it would be more on an in and out procedure and not a casual, uncomfortable encounter that seemed never ending. Even when I chimed in and told one of the dudes that I think they’re dry enough to get dresss, they freaked out on me calling me a faggot for watching them change, when the truth was it was hard to miss two assholes having a leisurely conversation naked.

This clip is pretty much exactly what happened to me, and I wanted to share it with you.

Posted in:HBO|Little Britain USA

2008

02

Oct

stepLINKS of the Day

I got this email:

You drunken Mexican cunt, you stole my Hawaiian butt photo from my Facebook gallery.

I am expecting your apologize nad link to my website

Actually, it is kind of honor for me to have my photo on your website, but still, you shouldn’s steal photos 🙂

— Mr Fandor

My response is that I always steal photos, that’s why when you email me asking where I got them from, I don’t have an answer for you. It’s pretty fucking random and sometimes I get the shit from your Facebook because I am an asshole. I guess I am a modern day criminal, but not the good type, like a drug dealer who gets addict groupies, hot chicks and money, the lame kind who gets cease and desist letters and who can talk to other internet people about how to win the battle…

Here’s that link to the dude who’s picture I stole HERE

And here are my links….

Sometimes It’s Better To Not Go All The Way
GO

And Now, The Funniest Thing Michael K From D-Listed Has Written Ever
GO

Cleavage is Amazing, Even If It Is On Britney Spears
GO

Self Defense Huh? Sure, Keep Telling Yourself That
GO

A Little Aria Giovanni Always Seems to Do the Trick
GO

The 10 Hottest Actresses Under 40
GO

Mila Kunis Looks Definitely Not Hot in the New Issue of Nylon
I Don’t Get It
GO

Because We All Need a Helping Hand Sometimes
GO

This Completely Unsafe and Potentially Fatal Ferris Wheel From India Doesn’t Surprise Me At All
GO

Well the Artist WOrking on a Sculpture of My Wife FINALLY Finished
GO

Sharon Stone Has Lost Her Fucking Mind
GO

Terri Hatcher Searches for Her Panties Throwback
GO

Bikini or Not Jennifer Aniston is Depressing
GO

Pig or People
GO

Fan Makes Save – Ruins Soccer Match – VIDEO
GO

Because You Forearms Can’t Take That Kind of Abuse Anymore
GO

Because It Isn’t Really Sex If You’re Alone
GO

Security Cams Catch All the Good Stuff
GO

Geman Olympian Franziska van Almsick
GO

Jack White and Alicia Keys NEw Bond Song is Just Fucking Terrible
GO

First Person Base Jump
GO

Man, Big Brother Bulgaria Looks Like It’s the Shit!
GO

Alyssa Lovelace is Perfection
GO

NOw That’s Flexibility
GO

Jesus Christ, What Happened to the Duchess of York?
GO

Paris Hilton, Please Just Stop Talking, You Are Embaressing Yourself
GO

Here’s Some Weird Reverse Psychology Thing About Voting That Will Probably Just
Confuse Most of the American People, Because You Are All Retarded
GO

How About Some Fun With a Taser Chair
GO

Some Pics of Britney Only Looking Like Half a Mess
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Kelly Osbourne Thinks She Has STDs. That Probably the Smartest Thing She Has Said Ever
GO

Find The Best Porn on the Internet According to Me
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Dismount Goes Wrong
GO

Meet Judge Fudge
GO

Bouncer Can’t Break Up a Fight
GO

I’m Really Not That Impressed
GO

Tricia Helfer – FHM Magazine Germany
GO

Miss Nude 2003
GO

Oprah’s Mom is Too Good to Pay For Stuff
GO

Lets Laugh at the Sarah Palin Disney Trailer One More Time, Because It Is Amazing
GO

Who’s Hotter?
GO

This is How Israeli Chicks Party…By Touching Each Other A Lot
GO

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog Visits David Blaine While He Was Hanging Upside Down…Here is the Video
GO

Some Japanese Eel Porn That You Will Want to See…Because it is Fucking Disgusting…
GO

7 Celebrities Who Were Band Geeks…
GO

Molesting Tokio Hotel’s Wax Figure…
GO

How To Eat a Scorpion
GO

The Biggest Vagina in Porn?
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

01

Oct

Rita G’s Swimsuit Shoot Video of the Day

Here’s some cheap lookin’ swimsuit photoshoot video of Rita G, the hot bodied slut in the Kanye West videos. This reminds me of a VHS tape I stole from some music store back when I was about 20 that I was forced to jerk off to for about a month, before lending it to a friend who still lived at home with his parents, because like me, he was a drunken loser only smart enough to live rent free and the asshole got it confiscated by his mom because she didn’t want that smut floating around her house. It was a pretty sad day because it was a time before internet and sometimes seeing naked girls moving seductively to music hits the fuckin’ spot when you come home alone after a night out because you normally get in trouble if you pull your dick out at a strip club and jerk off to the live action version of this shit, unless you go off into the booth with the sluts and that’s always too fucking expensive.

The truth is that this is just a filler post, because I got nothing interesting or inspiring to work with, but figured I might as well throw this up.
Here’s part 2….

Posted in:Rita G

2008

01

Oct

Justin Timberlake is a Beast of the Day

I know this position isn’t one Justin is unfamiliar with. I heard that every time he has sex with Jessica Biel, she takes him from behind like the little bitch he likes to pretend he is after a long stint on the road having girls treat him like a sex object. He’s just not used to carrying her around like he’s her fuckin’ bitch, she’s usually the one doing the carrying in this relationship.

Poor fucker is struggling and reminds me of the time I went horseback riding with my wife when I cared and was trying to be romantic, before giving up on the relationship after losing all hope that it will ever be good again, and the horse wasn’t fucking having it, after stopping every few steps, he looked at the other horse in front of us that was carrying a normal sized girl with serious envy and about 5 minutes later the thing passed the fuck out from the strain. I heard the horse didn’t make it and I have a feeling that after the wedding, either will Timberlake, because he will realize that the novelty of Jessica Biel’s dick and push-up ability will be replaced with whining and weight gain. It always happens that way.

Either way we get it Justin, you’re a beast, all those years of dancing like a homo on stage have paid off and you’re stronger and in better cardiovascular, but in defense of my shitty fitness, so is 98% of the rest of the world, the only person I know I am stronger than is terminally ill kids and ederly. The same people who can’t survive heat waves or SARS.

Posted in:Jessica Biel|Justin Timberlake

2008

01

Oct

Gemma Atkinson is a Bikini Model of the Day

This is some seriously insane shit….I knew Gemma Atkinson wasn’t hot, I knew she was only famous for having really big natural tits, but I never took the time to compare her bikini pics to pictures of her signing her bikini pictures. It’s like this bitch isn’t even the same girl. She looks more like me than she looks like the girls in the pictures, but they claim it’s the same fucking person. I guess photoshopping new faces on old tits saves careers, too bad it doesn’t work on my wife when she’s snoring in bed next to me and I’m in the mood to fuck anything that isn’t her.

Posted in:Gemma Atkinson