I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

03

Oct

Lauren Conrad Leaves a Bar With a Random Man at 2 AM and No One Cares But the Paparazzi of the Day

I came across this video of Lauren Conrad leaving a club and the paparazzi is a really nice guy. He calls her sweety and he tells her to be safe about 50 fuckin’ times like he is legitimately worried the paparazzi are going to Princess Diana her, except for the fact that no one gives enough of a fuck about her to run her off the road and into a cement wall. Maybe the dude was making reference to the sex she is going to be getting from the coat tail celebrity riding dude in the video, and the paparazzi doesn’t want her to get STDs or pregnant.

Speaking of unprotected sex, I wanted to message a friend of mine who knocked up a girl a couple weeks ago and who has been fighting with her to get an abortion and who actually won the battle yesterday, something nice. So I congratulated him on his abortion by asking if it turned him on. The problem is that I accidentally sent the message to a random hot girl, who like all girls older than 21, has probably had an abortion and she went nuts. It’s like shit struck a nerve, she got defensive, asked who told me about it and now thinks everyone knows she’s a fetus killer. I told her that the message was meant for someone else, and she wasn’t having it. Now she’s probably going to off herself because of the shame. Oh, the fun that is the internet.

Who fucking, knows, but I think this is the kind of game that made Britney Spears fall in love with her very own sweet talkin’ charmer of a paparazzi and again, who really gives a fuck.

Posted in:Lauren Conrad|Paparazzi

2008

03

Oct

Jodie Marsh in a Dominatrix Outfit Showing Some Tit of the Day

So I ask this girl on facebook chat, who never shuts up, if she ever sucks asshole when sucking dick. It’s a pretty fucking standard question and according to my friend who goes out and parties a lot and hustles lots of random girls, getting your asshole licked has made it’s way into the mainstream and is a pretty fucking standard thing. I remember a time when a girl tried to lick my asshole in the 90s and I freaked the fuck out because I didn’t get what she was doing, but now it is up there with playing with balls or using hand and that’s crazy to me, I blame the gays, so I ask around to see if my friend is telling me the truth. Her response:

you ever eat an ice cream cone while douching?

I hate when people try to be funny by saying totally retarded shit. It’s like let’s think of the most random acts that we think of that would be funny, put them together and we get a fuckin’ comeback. I didn’t ask for her to act the fuck up, I asked a real question and I expected a real answer and that is why someone in her home town better gag this bitch with their dick she deserves it, even though she is probably a lesbian, because only lesbians try to be funny.

Speaking of gagging, here’s some pics of Jodie Marsh’s tits in some dominatrix type outfit, because no gag reflex is what got her where she is today, even though we haven’t quite figured out where she is today, but we do see a lot of pictures of her, so it must be somewhere.

Posted in:Dominatrix|Jodie Marsh

2008

03

Oct

Jessica Alba’s Declare Yourself Commercial of the Day

I went out drinking hard last night. I woke up 20 minutes ago still drunk. This was the first thing I saw in my email and the worst thing to listen to when waking up feeling like death. I have a hard enough dealing with my wife yelling at me, that the last thing I want to do on a leisurely Saturday morning is hear Alba screaming at me. It’s reasons like this that man invented spousal abuse. I get what she’s trying to do, she’s just pretty much failed at doing it. Next time she should show more cooter, even if it is now built to smuggle her Mexican family into the US now that she’s had a baby, it’s still more appealing than this crap.

Posted in:Jessica Alba|Politics

2008

02

Oct

stepLINKS of the Day

Darn right I watched the debate. Darn right Palin is not suited for the job and just spewed out rehearsed garbage to connect with America. Darn right she’s in the dark, avoided questions and darn right she was condescending with her references to Joe Six Pack and Hockey mom’s when we all know Hocky is for Canadians. Darn right she’s a fine lookin’ woman and darn right I almost got hard the numerous times she winked at me.

Here are my links, they are a toxic mess on main street and I sure do respect you for clicking my links, the number of you who end up on the various sites I’ve posted here today will be a real barometer to whether the Maverick who writes this site has anyone reading this site and if I can quote Ronald Reagan twice to secure that point because he was one of America’s great Hollywood stars, remember that I am the only blogger who has actually fought for you…

Ok, enough of that, Palin is the neutral, like a waitress serving me warm apple pie, like the small town girl who looks amazing and is hard to listen to because you sit there in amazement that she has 5 kids and claims to be nothing but a soccer mom, but who is worth more than a million dollars and here are my links….they are worth a solid 0 dollars.

5 Actresses Who Probably Like Anal Sex
GO

Christina Milian Has No Panties On!
GO

Uhhhh… Didn’t Catherine Zeta-Jones Used to Be Smokin’ Hot?
GO

Car Versus Ramp
GO

Brooke Hogan Shows Off Her Stripper Tits
GO

Lucy Pinder Likes Eating Ramen Noodles
GO

Lady News Anchor Let’s One Go, The Swedish Way!
GO

If the US Election Was an 80’s Sitcom
GO

Jessica Simpson is Hiding Her Coochie
GO

Trust ME, I Know Porn
Pam Anderson Just Keep Getting Rougher. Oh and Here’s Her Panties As Well
GO

Cameron Diaz Is Has Seriously Gotta Ditch That Red Lipstick.
You Already Look Enough Like The Joker Honey
GO

Is This The BRitney Sex Tape We Have All Been Waiting For?
GO

Watch You Back When You’re in Mcdonalds
GO

Because the Girls in Bars Are All the Same
GO

Human Canvas Body Art
GO

Little Bill O’Reilly
GO

Keeley Hazell Thinks All You Ladies SHould Touch Your Breasts More
GO

So Peeing on an Electric Fence Does, In Fact, Get You Electrocuted
GO

All That Glitters is Not Gold
GO

Some Extreme FItness Model Gallery
GO

When You Gotta Go, You Gotta Go
GO

Brea Brennet is All Sorts of Sexy
GO

Have a Go At Yourself in the Bath, Why Not
GO

Khloe Kardashian Doesn’t Care That Her Drunk Driving Could Have Killed Someone
GO

Wow, If You’re Gonna Buy Cocaine, You Should At Least Do It More Discreetly
GO

Leighton Meester is at Some Event or Another
GO

No Matter How Much Things Suck, Getting Laid Always Makes Them Better
GO

Uhhh…I Don’t Understand These New Levi’s Ads
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Fire Farting Low Rider
GO

Dirty Words – the Letter C
GO

Call Me Crazy, But I Don’t Think That’s Covered in the Warrenty
GO

Mr. Clean is Dead!
GO

Sluts and Cars. Who Could Ask For Anything More?
GO

Puma Suede Has Left Me Speechless
GO

Lily Cole Does French Playboy
GO

Now THAT’S a Wardrobe Malfunction
GO

Use This to Get Sex, Because I Know You Have Nothing Better to Do
GO

This Brightened My Day, and I’m Sure It Will do the Same For You
GO

I Get What Pufy is Saying, But At the Same Time, I Think He’s Losing My Mind
GO

I Don’t Know About You, But a Little Yellow Always Brightens My Day
GO

Would It Be Wrong to Get a Lynx and Keep It In the Filth That Is My House
GO

Tag Team Whores
GO

USB Mini Fridge Anyone?
GO

Mommy is Flashing Her Tits
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

02

Oct

Jessica Alba and Her Muzzle for Obama of the D

So it’s the Vice President debate tonight and I hope Palin is asked what she will do when she wins Miss America and gets that scholarship she’s after. Someone emailed me today saying that Palin is even against abortion when the pregnancy comes from rape or incest. With her in office, I can only imagine the shitty flipper babies that will be the next generation America when all you sick fuck’s can’t get rid of the evidence of those magical nights with your younger sister who doesn’t know any better because she’s asleep.

Either way, Alba, someone you’d all fuck if she was your sister, came out with this new S&M picture to support Obama, if only she had the panty version back when she deliberately skipped the pill to lock Cash Warren down for life, while ruining her vagina and hopefully her career in the process by getting pregnant, then maybe I’d still be able to find her worth fucking and thus worth listening too when it comes to making a politcal decision, but instead, she’s just an uneducated, mexican mom to me and their only good for beating up.

Posted in:Jessica Alba|Muzzle

2008

02

Oct

Miley Cyrus Hits Up the Tanning Salon of the Day

Miley Cyrus like all young sluts, was spotted leaving the tanning salon the other day. There’s just something about tanning salons that screams that anyone who goes to them is not a fucking virgin, especially when they are in California, the Sunny State, leading me to believe she’s sleeping in all day and in up all night doing inappropriate things with her vagina. The only places that would confirm that she is breaching her promise ring promise, more than this tanning salon, would be the Bikini Wax Studio or Planned Parenthood. Either way, she’s not hot, she’s underage, so thinking about her banging shouldn’t be on your masturbation list, but whether she gets fully naked or leaves her panties on during her tanning bed sessions, should be, I just haven’t figured out why.

Posted in:Miley Cyrus|Tanning

2008

02

Oct

Dita Von Teese and Her Monster Friends of the Day

Dita Von Teese is a fucking monster. Her pale skin. Her whole Vampire from the 1800s act. Her marrying Manson and it turns out so are her fucking friends. The worst thing about all this is that each and everyone of them is probably rich, bored and that’s why they joined whatever cult they are in, but I know that if I saw them standing anywhere, I’d either turn the fuck around or pull out my bible that I like to carry around with me everywhere I go because I like to bust it out to make the girls I date rape feel like they are actually in a motel room because I am considerate like that, when we hit the back alley, not that they’d remember it the next day. Oh…the beauty of modern medicine.

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

02

Oct

Lindsay Lohan’s Still in a Bikini on Vacation of the Day

The paparazzi agency that owns these pictures of Lohan and Ronson on their Lesbian Beach Party are on my jock about posting their pictures. They want me to pay them 500 dollars for 100 images and they think that that is a good fucking deal. In trying to figure out how to get out of it, because I don’t have 500 dollars to pay them, I decided to find out who manages Samantha Ronson’s DJing and ask them for a letter of consent to use the pictures. I figure if I can get the approval from every celebrity, I’ll be in the clear and won’t have to shut down the site, or worse, figure out a new strategy to produce original content so that no one can come after me and sue me for using their shit. It turns out that despite them not caring about using their pictures, they don’t own their pictures and can’t give me the okay, despite being the stars of the fucking pictures. That was seriously backwards to me, but it isn’t as backwards as Lohan was the night before these pictures were when they were trying to find a new way to rub their vaginas together like they were trying to start a fire after they were left on a deserted island. It turns out that because the paparazzi rented a boat to stalk these poor girls when they are minding their own business, people like me have to pay big money to post and comment on the images. So fuck you paparazzi for killing my spirits and ruining the site one post at a time. I was pretty happy ruining the site on my own and didn’t think I needed help doing it. Either way, I am posting the pics anyway.

Posted in:Bikini|Lesbian|Lindsay Lohan

2008

02

Oct

Kim Kardashian Takes a Shitty Fat Chick Jog of the Day

I always find it funny seeing fat people work out. I don’t know what it is but I always laugh in their face and feel the need to give them words of encouragement like I am watching someone run a marathon and are covered in shit and puke and 100 yards away from the finish line, only instead of actually doing anything impressive, the fat people are fully decked out in sports gear and are walking briskly, but still manage to have the look of impending death on their faces. I guess it’s nice to see people attempt to improve their overall health, but sometimes its a little too late for them and they should have probably taken the initiative by saying no to cake over the last 10 years of their life. I mean I am a fat guy and I live with a fat woman and I see both of us struggle to do everyday things, like fit into chairs, stand up after sitting on the couch and even when trying to fuck we end up giving up because of pulled muscles, uncontrollable heart rates and light headedness, which has turned out to be the greatest excuse no to bang my wife and also to never dress up in athletic gear and make a fool of myself in public.

Here’s Kim Kardashian still delusional about being a fat chick, she seriously thinks she’s normal sized and has the right to do what normal sized people do and that is funny.

Posted in:Fat Ass|Jog|Kim Kardashian

2008

02

Oct

Jessica Biel Does a Practice Run of the Day

Justin TImberlake’s in trouble. Here are the power couple and I am only labeling that because Biel can pench press a small car, at some friend’s wedding and it seems like she is part of the wedding party and like all Bride’s Maids, is probably feeling the burn in her vagina to find a man and lasso him in so that she can be the star of her own magical day one day, when all eyes will be on her and when she won’t just be the back burner sidekick in her friend’s moment of fucking glory. The whole thing is insane to me. I don’t understand marriage especially now that I am married and I only did it for financial security, I don’t get why women get so bored in their life that they want to spend a year of their life making annoying plans to have some fantasy wedding they dreamed of as a kid, but I do know that bridesmaids are always horny as fuck by the end of the ceremony and shit works better than roofies so there is no doubt in my mind that Justin Timberlake was sucking massive cock shortly after these pictures were taken.

Posted in:Jessica Biel|Justin Timberlake|Practice Wedding