I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

05

Jun

Jodie Sweetin Interview With a Meth Addicted Mother of the Day

People seem to give a shit about Jodie Sweetin because she had a baby and used to be a meth addict. She even got the cover of People because of this publicity stunt. The only reason I am posting this is because I know so many fucking addicts and so many people who are parents and on drugs and just because they weren’t some child star on some shitty ABC show that you used to masturbate to, no one seems to care about them.

It’s like everyone sympathizes with these kids who are thrown into the spotlight and get paid for the shit when they come out of the shit with either drug and alcohol addiction or Jesus addiction because they were on TV and no one gives a shit about the real people out there who struggle with the exact same thing daily but don’t have the star power to land a magazine cover even though they could actually use the exposure in hopes of making more money to get more drugs instead of turning tricks in back alleys to make ends meet.

Jodie Sweetin is pretty much a nobody and I think her little accomplishment in kickin’ her habit that so many 20 year olds have, shouldn’t really be taken so seriously. She did meth, who gives a fuck. She doesn’t do meth now, who gives a fuck. She had unprotected sex with her husband, who gives a fuck. These are all pretty fucking standard things and her story isn’t much of a story and that’s why I hate Jodie Sweetin.

Posted in:Interview|Jodie Sweetin

2008

05

Jun

Tyra Banks Pretends to Get a Bikini Wax of the Day

I remember when I first found out about bikini waxing and found the job fascinating. I’ve always had a thing for knowing how girls maintain their bushes and I think it has something to do with girls never waxing in the mid-90s when I got the bulk of my action, then seeing this revolution happen before my very eyes where every girl and her mother were tending to their pussy hair on the same level as getting their haircut and saw it slowly trickle into the mainstream. That meant a lot to me because it meant these girls were either letting people see their shit and basically admitting they were little sluts who cared about what their pussies looked like.

I remember surfing the internet for years looking for some bikini wax videos because I knew I could never land that job being a drunk pervert who can’t be close to bare pussy for too long without licking or touching it and that doesn’t really get much love at the esthetician’s but for a period of time I’d walk into every store I saw that offered bikini waxes and ask for a gig, I was usually drunk and they usually told me they weren’t hiring.

Recently, my wife had a wedding to go to and we went to the nail place who happens to do bikini waxing. The place was ghetto because we are poor, but this really hot mom came in with her kid and as I waited for my wife she sat waiting for her wax right next to me. Knowing this how girl was about to get sprawled out on a table naked and on all fours for her brazilian was hot to begin with but when the little chinese lady approached her to see how she wanted her wax to look, and the woman started explaining her landing strip to her next to me, I got a boner and listening to her bush get ripped off of her through the cheap little bikini wax booth almost made me horny enough to bang my wife.

What doesn’t get me horny is Tyra Banks excited to talk about bikini waxes while on all fours on her show simulating a bikini wax with a contestant who is a bikini waxer and who spanks Tyra in a way I’d spank a girl I bikini wax if only these places would just give me a job.

BONUS – Tyra Does Some Stupid Cabaret Song and Dance on the Show

Posted in:Bikini Wax|Tyra Banks

2008

04

Jun

stepLINKS of the Day

My stepdaughter went to some therapist who told her that she needed to spend more time with a male figure to feel more secure with herself because she’s been out fucking random dudes for the last 3 years and hasn’t kept any of her unwanted pregnancies with random men because she didn’t know how to contact them because she never took the time to take their names or numbers. She’s fills the void with cock and in trying to stop has gone for some expert advice, now my fat wife is trying to get me to play dad despite having never impregnated a girl and despite having no fathering skills and has organized a dinner for us tonight that is fully paid and I am an hour late for. The goal is to convince her to take me out drinking and to meet her slutty friends and just pretend we did this sit down dinner to spend time together so tonight may be interesting, but not as interesting as all these fucking links.

Sam Ronson and Lindsay Lohan Buy Groceries Together
GO

JUMBO SLIP AND SLIDE!!
GO

Tyra Banks May Be Retarded Because Her Brain Are in Her TIts
GO

Sex With Britney Spears is Now Punishable By Death
GO

Madonna’s Geriatric Tits in a See Through Dress
GO

And Now, The Shortest Fight Ever
GO

Mischa Barton Gallery, In Case You Had Forgotten Who She Was Like I Had
GO

More Sluts That Think They Are Too Good For You
GO

Linda Hogans Relationship with that 19 Year Old Just Got a Whole Lot Creepier
GO

Susie and Marie Get it On
GO

How to Bag A Sex In The City Chick:
GO

The Top 10 Celebrity Hockey Girlfriends
GO

Irina Sheik Gallery
GO

Some Crazy Grandfather in Action
GO

Maury’s Home Paternity Test
GO

Office Worker Freaks the Fuck Out
GO

The Number 1 Butt Satisfier!!
GO

Redhead Dances Naked
GO

Why Not To Skate Naked Down a Hill
GO

John Mayer Seduces Desperate Jennifer Aniston With False Symbols of Commitment
GO

Jelly Wrestling
GO

Big Titted Blondie Strips Down
GO

Ashanti Looks Hot While Promoting Her New CD
GO

Kate Beckingsale is Women of the Year and Her Prize is That I Get to Bang Her
GO

Joanna Krupa and Shana Wall at The Bank Nightclub
GO

Ashley Tisdale Makes Songs That Suck Suck Even More
GO

To Catch a (Super) Predator
GO

Amazing Stop Motion Music Video
GO

Teen Babe Show Off Her Slutty Dress and More
GO

People Magazine’s Got a Funny Cover
GO

Get Laid Today
GO

Amateur Shot of Some Girl Who Looks 12, Because I Know You Have No Shame
GO

Rumer Willis Looks Kind of Hot and By Kind of Hot I mean Disgusting Like She Usually Does
GO

Divine is Just Divine
GO

Spring Breaks Finest
GO

Echo, The Horny Dolphin
GO

Use This to Get Sex, Because You’re a Loser and Need Help in that Area
GO

Now THATS What I Call a Game of Golf
GO

Some Funny Painful Moments Caught on Camera
GO

In Australia You Get Served Shots By a Topless Midget
GO

Some Exclusive Pics of Shannon Elizabeth Playing Poker Cuz She Has Nothing Better To Do With Her TIme
GO

PORN QUEEN JASMIN ST CLAIRE’S HOT PERSONAL WEBCAM PICS
GO

The 8 Best Marvel Characters – By Best I Really Mean Breast
GO

Sienna Miller and Snoop Portrayed as Religious Icons In Some Ad By the Catholic Church
GO

Sarah Roemer at the MTV Music Awards
GO

Busted on Film
GO

Johnny Rotten’s Teeth Are Rotten No More
GO

Dumb Hick Goes Boom
GO

A Now Retired Raven Riley Gallery Gets Soapy in the Tub
GO

Amy Smart Topless Throwback
GO

Dita Von Tease Gallery
GO

Who Knew Wine Was So Exciting?
GO

Alessia Ventura is the International Babe of the Day
GO

Rip a Phonebook in Half Like a Champ
GO

Getting Cyber Laid is Better Than Getting No Laid, Don’t You Think?
GO

Web Sluts in Abundance
GO

Sexual Abuse Ads Don’t Get Creepier Than This
GO

Some Porn Reviews:

Fetish Fun With Leg Sex
GO

Chubby Loving
GO

Butt Divers
GO

Dripping Creampies
GO

West Coast Gang Bangs
GO

Hippie Goddess
GO

Arab Street Hookers
GO

Pissing TV
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

04

Jun

Lily Allen is a Drunken Pink Haired Mess of the Day

Since Lily Allen’s dreams of being a mother were rudely ripped from her uterus, she has decided to follow her other dream of being a drunken clown it’s one of those things when you can’t have children of your own because of fetal alcohol syndrome always giving you miscarriages, at least you can make them smile while wearing funny wigs at birthday parites before sexually harassing the moms and throwing up all over your emotionally wrecked self and getting carried away by the dad’s at the party.

On a sidenote the man who is carrying Lily Allen is actually a past winner of a strongman competition and early today has suggested carrying a drunken Lily Allen be one of the challenges because he hasn’t felt this kind of burn after a good work out since the time he tried to pull a dump tuck 100 yards.

Here are her before and after shots, which are more dramatic than mine because I fall somewhere in the middle at all times, doesn’t matter how sober or drunk I am ….I am always a mess, but at least I can always manage to stumble home without the help of a carrier.

Posted in:Drunk|Lily Allen

2008

04

Jun

Mel B and Her Retarded Tits for Some Bra Company of the Day

Mel B proves that you don’t have to have much of a face to get high paying jobs promoting lingerie which makes total sense because bras are for tits and only look good on faces when they are covering the ugly bitch you and you don’t want to make it too obvious or turn her off by using a pillow to cover her face so that you can keep your erection and finish what you started.

Her tits are retardedly big and have probably paid for themselves a bunch of times over proving that implants can be good investments especially when your beauty is fleeting and you need a distraction that allows dudes to still masturbate to you

It’s girls like Mel B that make me wish the monkeys of the jungle were stacked like this because it would make jerking off to Animal Planet a hell of a less challenging.

Posted in:Mel B|Tits

2008

04

Jun

Pussycat Dolls are Boring on Set of the Day

The Pussycat Dolls may useless stains on the world of music, but if you ask me, half naked chicks who do erotic shows and don’t show their pussies are pretty fucking useless, but when you compare this shit to everything else out there, it’s a little more interesting to watch and proves that if you want to make money, all you have to do is turn yourself into a sex object. I tried taking my own advice once and decided to show up to random job interviews topless, but turns out that we live in a sexist world and topless big breasted chicks get ahead, while topless big breasted men are looked at as if we’re disgusting creeps.

This is the some video shoot that the Pussycat Dolls are currently filming and I guess it’s the light at the end of the tunnel in some kind of a moment of inspiration for girls out there who think showing off their drunken asses at the club won’t lead to bigger and better things, because I know sometimes feeling objectified and only having a case of herpes to show for all your hard work you’ve put into being a slut can make you feel like throwing in the towel and giving it all up because it’s only downhill from here, but there is hope and hope is all we really have…..I feel like I’ve said that before….

Posted in:On Set|Pussycat Dolls

2008

04

Jun

Kate Walsh Fights The Wind of the Day

Kate Walsh is on Grey’s Anatomy or was on Grey’s Anatomy because the truth is I don’t really know since I am not a middle aged mother who watches Grey’s Anatomy because it gives me something to masturbate thinking about. I do know that shows that make wives horny are my worst enemy so I am happy that I don’t have a TV and that my wife barely speaks english because the last thing I want is to have her expecting me to treat her like some scripted shit she sees on TV, but I am sure that some of you appreciate it because it’s made the only woman in your life find her vagina and bring it out to play since she packed that shit away, locked it up and threw away the key the day she got pregnant with your kid, so you should be supportive of this kind of mainstream smut, it makes your life a better one.

You should also support Kate Walsh flashing the world her old weathered ass because of a perverted gust of wind, because maybe if enough of us encourage the wind to keep up his pervert ways, maybe it’ll take the practice he’s had on useless bitches and take it to the next level with chicks we actually want to see unexpectedly flash us. Peer pressure has always worked out good for me in the past so the only thing I see that may be a challenge this time is that Wind isn’t really something you can really reason with or manipulate, but at least we can all hope it does because hope is all we really have.

Posted in:Ass|Kate Walsh|Upskirt|Wind

2008

04

Jun

Jeremy Piven Tries To Get Pussy of the Day

I got this email from a reader who was at the Playboy mansion for some party the other day, because I guess some people who read the site are heavily more important and hooked up than me. I have a hard enough time being allowed into the local Dunkin Donuts because despite having a huge homeless following, they don’t seem to appreciate my loitering. Either way here’s the email I got:

Dear Jesus,

I was at the Playboy Mansion for some party a little while ago and while I was doing my fair share of drinking and hustling hot chicks who were either in Playboy or trying to be in Playboy and managed to get into the event in hopes of being discovered, I noticed that Jeremy Piven from Entourage was there too. Now, I don’t consider this guy a celebrity at all and I have little to no interest in him because he pretty much looks like he’s just as annoying as his character on the show, but when I saw his coked up drunken ass begging this chick to come home with him, I had no choice but to document the moment. I was close enough to hear his lame jokes about sex and his bragging about how girls really love him but how he doesn’t like all the attention he gets just because he’s on tv, something I knew was all part of his game. The girl gave him a good 10 minutes but I guess she realized he was running some weak game treating her like some kind of dumb bitch he probably gets to go home with him in clubs and she wasn’t about to lower herself to that level or maybe it was the fact that he was sweating profusely and looked like a total fucking mess. I guess none of that matters, but it would be funny if you posted this pic and gave us all your take on Jeremy Piven.

I am not a fan of Jeremy Piven or the fact that girls constantly prove to be idiot groupies whenever I see pictures of him with some hot young slut, because I know that she just wants to famous and dude manipulates her by making her think that getting with him is some kind of accomplishment on her part and possibly the closest she’ll get to be famous. It’s sad to see hot girls lower themselves to sleep with dudes they normally wouldn’t because they see him on TV, but dude still gets laid all the time and despite being rejected by this one, I am sure there’s a couple school bus full of drunk party sluts who think banging him will be the closest they ever get to banging Adrian Grenier and that going home with him is a better stamp of approval than going home with some other poorer, less famous drunken motherfucker in the bar that they’d normally go home with if Piven hadn’t chosen them for the night. Celebrity means pussy and despite not being a celebrity, girls will always go home with guys they’ve seen anywhere, even in the Sears catalog just because they recognize the motherfucker and I guess that’s because girls are all groupy sluts even if the motherfucker doesn’t deserve groupies.

This was sent in from the fine people at MisanthropyToday

Posted in:Jeremy Piven|Pussy

2008

04

Jun

Christina Aguilera is a Good Babysitter of the Day

So when Christina Aguilera is supposed to at home with her relatively newborn child, she’d found more fun things to do because no one likes to be held down to staying in everynight, even if it’s for their offspring. If anything it’s a fucking pain in the ass burden and going out is the only way to forget how bad of a decision it was to not have had that abortion but the good news for Christina is that she has a lot of fans and if she really wanted freedom, she could just put that shit up on Ebay and everyone would go crazy trying to bid for it so that they can have a living piece of this slut making her some extra money, but that exit strategy is much more frowned upon than just leaving it at home with the babysitter.

I remember when I was a kid, my foster parents had to go to some church event and they hired the neighbor’s daughter to watch over me. Within about 10 minutes she wanted to fuck her boyfriend and use the empty house to make that happen, the only problem was that I was there, so she strapped me to the bed with rope and turned out my bedroom light and came in with a lighter and said if I made a noise she’d burn down the fucking house, I was only about 10 but it was probably one of the hottest experiences of my life. Sure some of the kids I knew were getting crazy chicks who would breast feed them or touch them inappropriately and mine was only into mild bondage but it was good enough for me.

Posted in:Babysitter|Christina Aguilera

2008

04

Jun

Miley Cyrus Does a Cheer About Her Little Hips of the Day

Here’s a 2 week old video of Miley doing some kind of cheerleading chant for her fans on set for the Hannah Montana Movie and I figured since this site has a huge 15 year old girl following and by 15 year old girl following, I mean perverted dudes who like 15 year old girls and not actual 15 year old girls, I figured I’d post it because it’s not everyday that you can help your fantasies be more realistic as you loop her saying “shake my little hips” over and over because when you’re down with young girls, that usually means your down with little hips because Miley only got her period a year ago and still hasn’t grown into herself and despite my being completely against that, I do what I do for the fans and by fans I mean 5 of you.

Posted in:Cheerleader|Miley Cyrus|On Set