DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

Eva Longoria Picking her Ass in a Bikini of the Day

A Day is Not a Day Without Some Em Rat Cow Smut of the Day

Britney Spears Dance Video Porn of the Day

Rita Ora’s Lay Down Tits of the Day

Sofia Vergara has Fat Tits of the Day

2008

May

Kim Kardashian and Her Cellulite Treatment of the Day

24 Comments »

So we have all agreed that Kim Kardashian is a fat lazy bitch who just happens to have a flat stomach making the average person think she’s not a fat lazy bitch but something vuluptuous and desireable, which is almost understandable having been to Plattsburgh, New York for some discount shopping with my wife a while ago and realizing that her fat ass felt at home there because she was thinner than the bitches we ran into at Taco Bell. Unfortunately, my bed doesn’t feel the same way after years of suffering under her obesity.

Either way, being the whore that Kim Kardashian is she decided to get Cellulite Laser treatment on her fat lazy ass because Paris Hilton made fun of her and made her realize that she’s a fuckin’ pig while everyone else was stroking her ego. It always takes a catty jealous bitch to put a girl who thinks she’s better than she actually is in line. The laser treatment was a pretty good fuckin’ solution for her because she didn’t have to get off her fat lazy ass or stop shoveling her fat lazy hand that is clearly not too fat or too lazy to reach her fat lazy mouth. Now she’s out pimping this shit because they are either paying her or giving her free treatments and that’s just the kind of tradeoff whores like. I wouldn’t expect much more from this cunt because we are talking about a girl who made 5,000,000 dollars and launced a fat lazy career off a fuckin’ sex tape here.

To Read Her Post on Her Cellulite and See Her Erotic Calendar for Her Boyfriend Cuz She’s a Slut
GO

Posted in:Fat|Kim Kardashian

2008

May

Lohan’s Lesbian Ass of the Day

8 Comments »

So it turns out that Lohan’s lesbian cock is some David Spade-lookin’ motherfucker and she’s grabbing onto Lohan’s coattails as hard as her little lesbian hands can because she wants all the exposure she can get while Lohan’s letting her lick her pussy. Samanth Ronson is a fuckin’ mess of a person and the reason she went dyke is obviously because dudes refused to get up in that all her life but girls are more forgiving and find beauty in shit kinda like drunk guys. Either way, here’s Lohan and her David Spade latch-on.

Posted in:Ass|Lesbian|Linday Lohan

2008

May

From the Forum of the Day

9 Comments »

So the girl who posted the pictures of her vagina is actually real and considering I started the site in hopes of getting vagina pictures but haven’t seem to have reached girls willing to show me their vagina, it feels like I’ve made it. Some people want fame and fortune, I just want low quality pictures of vagina.

Either way, the forum is blowin’ up and here’s some of the shit going on in there.

———Music———

Iron Man OST
GO

Liz Phair – Juvenalia
GO

Lords of Acid – Our Little Secret
GO

Elvis Costello – This Year’s Model
GO

Norah Jones – Stay With Me
GO

Katharine McPhee
GO

P Diddy – The Saga Continues
GO

Dokken – Furious George
GO

The Pretenders – Viva el Amor
GO

Sean Lennon – Fiendly Fire
GO

Bone Thugs-n-Harmony
GO

Chino XL – Here to Save You All
GO

Prince – Around the World
GO

The Secret Handshake – One Full Year
GO

Lillian Axe – Fields Of Yesterday
GO

Sammy Hagar – Unboxed
GO

Sleepy Brown – Mr.Brown
GO

———Porn———

Girls Feeling Themselves
GO

Paylene Richards
GO

Lavey Chabert Fake Facial
GO

Scene Chicks
GO

Christina Model
GO

Scarlet Jo Fake Nudes
GO

Jessica Jaymes – Eyes Down Ass Up
GO

———E-books———

GTA IV Complete Strategy Guide Maps Cheats Codes
GO

The Little Book of Essential Foreign Swear Words
GO

———Software———

MP3 To Ringtone Gold Portable
GO

ACDSee 10 Photo Manager Portable
GO

———video———

Snail Trail
GO

Zoo York Roaches
GO

———Celebs———

Danni Wells Topless
GO

Kristen Bell
GO

Posted in:Forum

2008

May

Natasha Richardson’s Panty Flash of the Day

2 Comments »

Her name is Natasha Richardson, she’s 45 and from the UK and apparantly has some kind of flim or television career here, but I don’t have any idea who she is. What I do know is that she got invited to this Gala Event at the Met the other day along with every other unimportant person, including the cast of Gossip Girl and she decided to flash us her underwear to stand out from the crowd and put her name on the map. I like to think of this as a step in the right direction, not because I find her hot but because I like naked chicks, so let’s hope next time around we don’t have to see her piss colored underwear and we can see her 45 year old pussy. That’s all I have to say about that.

Posted in:Natasha Richardson|Panty

2008

May

Miranda Kerr is a Whore of the Day

2 Comments »

Everyone’s talking about Miranda Kerr because she’s all over the fuckin’ place. She’s whored herself to Victoria’s Secret but I guess it’s better than whoring yourself on the street corner. The deal with Victoria’s Secret is that she gets massive exposure as their new face while traveling all over the place for their Fashion Show, Catalog and marketing like with this in-store promotion for their new perfume in exchange for what is probably a couple million dollars a year and that is a better deal than sucking multiple dirty dicks for just enough money to get high to help you live with being a whore, but the concept is pretty much the same.

Victoria’s Secret realizes that these girls are whores to them and that’s why they get them half naked for us, it’s like the time my friend hired a hooker and asked me to watch him fuck her because he thought it was more bang for his buck. This time instead of being in Lingerie, Miranda Kerr is in a Kissing Booth, which is the gateway booth to a peep show or a glory hole and she’s lookin’ pretty good with her staged sluttiness that I know beneath the act lies a real sluttiness that got her in this position in the first place.

Posted in:Miranda Kerr|Whore

2008

May

Ashlee Simpson’s Tits With Her Girlfriend of the Day

2 Comments »

I wonder if Ashlee Simpon’s boyfriend resents her while watching her walk around the house in her underwear or naked. It’s like no matter how hard he tries to dress like a girl and be a girl, he just will never be a girl. No matter how many prosthetic breasts he shoves in his bra, or how creative he gets when folding his dick into his scrotum to make a vaginal lookin’ fleshy mess and no matter how many dicks he sucks, songs he writes, nights he cries himself to sleep like he’s PMSing, he will never be a girl. He’s just forced to look at her tits and hate them for being something he will never have and when he tries to fuck her and gets mad that he isn’t the one getting fucked because she’s too wholesome to explore shoving things in his ass and he’s too concerned with his image to go gay he just flips her over and shoves it in her ass to teach her a lesson for having a vagina that he will never have.

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson|cleavage|Tits

2008

May

Elisha Cuthbert’s Second Day in a Bikini of the Day

1 Comment »

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

Elisha Cuthbert is on Vacation in Hawaii and new bikini pictures of her from her trip with her boyfriend have hit because it turns out that people with money wear more than one outfit over the course of the week, something I can’t really relate to. I have my one trusty pair of jeans that are too small on me and my 3 T-shirts that I rotate as often as I have to based on smell. I do have a lot of pairs of socks because I’ve accumulated them over the years, they don’t match but they get the job done and I don’t really believe in underwear. I have the same pair of running shoes that I’ve had or about 7 years and that’s pretty much the story of me, but when Elisha Cuthbert pictures are being posted, I know that I’m not what you care about. I am a second rate citizen and can’t compete giving me more reason to hate this bitch for trying to steal my thunder. That said, she’s from Montreal and I’d love to find out what her home address is here so that I can invite myself over or Christmas Dinner. It’s probably a a lot better than the free shit they give you at the homeless shelter and it’s never too early to start planning.

BONUS – People Are Claiming This is A Nipple Slip…I Don’t See It…But Then Again…I’ve Had Sex

Posted in:Bikini|cleavage|Elisha Cuthbert

2008

May

Drunken Kelly Osborne of the Day

4 Comments »

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

This is a nice change of pace because the drunken asshole who can’t make his way out of the bar in Kelly Osbourne’s life is usually the guy guy going home with her because she’s disgusting and you’d have to be wasted to get up in this. The only explanation for anyone sober getting with her would be that they are die hard Sabbath fans and are trying to live out their non-sexual man crush on Ozzy by using his daughter in hopes that it gets serious so that he can change his last name to Osbourne since it’s always been a dream, or dude is just a wallet fucker and wants to ride the fat girl right into the good life. I guess the good news with Kelly Osbourne getting this drunk is that wallet fuckin’ her doesn’t mean you have to actually fuck her, all you have to do is slide into her purse (not her pink purse) and pull the wallet out knowing that she’d have no idea what happened to it when she sobered up the next day. It’s a lot less emotionally abuse of yourself, but to be fair to Kelly, at least she’s got a girl with some kind of skin disorder to take care of her, I guess what they say about fat ugly chick never finding love is all lies.

Posted in:Drunk|Kelly Osbourne

2008

May

Madonna’s Old and Tired Publicity Stunt of the Day

5 Comments »

Looks like Madonna’s trying to get attention like every chubby girl at the bar who convinces her girlfriends to kiss her in front of a group of drunk dudes because they like the attention only in Madonna’s case the chubby girl is more attractive. It’s probably in hopes of selling records where as the fat girl is just doing it in hopes of finding love and acceptance. I can’t imagine Madonna’s trying to shock us with this, considering she’s done this shit in the past but she is old and out of touch so maybe she doesn’t realize that we are so desensitized to girl on girl and see it on a daily basis on the internet so the only affect this is having on us is a negative one. I know that seeing an old muscular woman doing anything sexual with a girl, even if it’s staged bullshit is making me feel like denouncing out lesbian fantasies because they aren’t two hot young coeds experimenting, but more like one muscular mom trying too hard with some girl she’s paid to do this and it isn’t very convincing.

Posted in:Madonna|Slut

2008

May

Miley Cyrus is a Wholesome Disney Girl Who Hangs With Trannies of the Day

23 Comments »

Androgyny makes me feel uncomfortable. Maybe I am old school and like the gays to be on the down low and not dressed like teenage girls with their hair done up and make-up on in heels, but I think the reason I hate the flamboyant flamers is because they aren’t legit, they are a complete insecure lie.

They are showboating this fake gay lifestyle that was created by other identity crisis losers and just perpetuate the annoying because they are posers and have no voice of their own and think the only way to break free from being a poser is to take it to the next level of outrageous. It’s just like any other scene out there, the loser following the masses tries to break free from the masses by being this unique mess and distract the other posers into thinking they are the coolest, despite being full of shit. Back in the day a flamboyant and theatrical gay dude would save this shit for weekends at the gay bar because it wasn’t appropriate and annoyed people who weren’t into that scene and gave them an escape into whatever world dressing like this takes you, but now it still annoys people and makes us feel uncomfortable but people like Jeffree Star don’t care. They are so unsure of themselves that they overcompensate and like the attention they get from people staring at them because they probably weren’t accepted in highschool and lucky for Jeffree Star, either were a lot of people because they are following his lead which isn’t really a lead but it is to them because they don’t realize he’s just ripping off someone else he saw and claiming it’s his own.

Either way, poser performing attention craving myspace superstar Jeffree Star is hanging with his idol Miley Cyrus and it’s not the first time that a gay dude is hooked on a teenage idol, I remember living with a gay dude 10 years ago who couldn’t get enough Britney, but I guess for a wholesome little Christian girl who doesn’t do anything naughty according to her team, this is pretty much the equivalent of hanging out with the devil and in my mind a lot worse than her sexualizing herself in Vanity Fair for one of the world’s top photographer, but that’s just because it looks like you’d get AIDS just standin’ next to this freakshow.

Either way, I am not going to hate on anyone for who or what they like to fuck, but I will hate on the packaging because all I see is a loser having an identity crisis with dreams of being someone different and important despite probably being a talentles joke of a person that is just copying but his fans don’t realize it because they are so distracted by his presentation and have been told that the shit he does is cool and are at home applying creepy eyebrows as I type this because they are posers too.

Posted in:Jeffree Star|Miley Cyrus