I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

29

May

Audrina From the Hills and Her Fake Tits of the Day

I was stuck sitting next to a couple that was making out hard at the bar last night. Every time the annoying dude would get his tongue down the bitches throat or his hand up her shirt her fatter friend would come in and break them up because I thought she didn’t like seeing her friend fall for this loser’s shitty game because she was fat and fat girls like attention but it turned out that she was jealous and wanted the loser for herself and they were pretty much fighting over him, that never happens to me, I don’t know how it ended because I couldn’t deal with that kind of Soap Opera drama when I just wanted to get drunk and break things.

That story has nothing to do with Audrina Patridge and her fake tits that her dad got her when she was 16, at least that’s what I was told, but like the fat chick no one should give this bitch the time of day, but for some reason there’s always some asshole lame enough to inflate her ego and that asshole is you because you find this shit hot, when all I see is last week’s kitchen garbage.

Posted in:Audrina|Fake Tits|The Hills

2008

29

May

Heidi Klum Pretends to Eat for McDonald’s of the Day

Everyone knows that despite what models say about how much they eat, they are full of shit and are just doing it because they want the rest of the world to think it’s ok to eat so that they get fat and make the models look even skinnier than they actually are in comparison.

Heidi Klum landed some kind of job promoting some McDonald’s chicken shit, and part of the campaign was to pretend that she was actually eating them because it looks better for McDonald’s. I guess hiring a model to pretend to eat is the best place to go since they have years of experience of trying to save face when they get invited to 4 course expensive dinners with clients and have to do their best to make everyone think they are actually eating and not sneaking to the bathroom to spit up the food they have hidden up in their cheeks and to rip a couple of lines, drink a couple of diet cokes to stay alert in conversation and a few sticks of gum to cover up the smell of their empty eating disorder stomach.

So despite this McDonald’s shit being false advertising, I still like Heidi Klum and would like to give her my own kind of wrap to eat in the form of my penis wrapped in gauze because of all the open sores.

Posted in:Eating|Fake|Heidi Klum

2008

29

May

Heidi Montag in her Staged Bikini Pics Drinking Champagne with Her Boyfriend of the Day

Heidi Montag lives a fake life, stars on a fake reality TV show, has fake tits and fake lips, it seems like the only thing real about her is that she is real ugly, I guess she’s also real useless and a real waste of space and if I think that is irony, but then again I never know how to properly identify irony and I blame Alanis Morissette for that. Here she is in some staged pictures with her fake boyfriend where she rocks a bikini, shows off her pretty fit lookin body and pokes out her ass to lure in her male fans like a baboon in heat. I can only assume they are drinking champagne to celebrate how much of a cunt she is, but it’s probably more to do with showing the world just how classy this piece of trash can get because America are suckers and have given her a purpose in life, when she’d be better off taking her insecure horse head to the local strip club where she belongs.

Posted in:Bikini|Heidi Montag

2008

29

May

Mariah Carey Throwing the First Pitch in Japan of the Day

So it turns out that Mariah Carey throws like a fag, but I guess that’s okay considering she’s one of those singing Diva bitches who is ridiculously high maintenance and as superficial, pretentious and obnoxious as a drag queen pretending to be a diva by overcompensating because it has a penis, so it’s kind of expected. What isn’t expected is that she didn’t make outrageous demands like to be carried onto the field by 15 men dressed like sailors where she is handed a diamond encrusted ball on a velvet pillow and solid pink gold baseball mitt before making her pitch in an evening gown. The only thing representative of her Diva high maintenance cunt ways are the heels, I guess marrying that dude’s really made her down to earth. and by down to earth I mean not throwing a tantrum because she got some dirt on her toes, which is a big step for this bitch as she lets down her black ancestors for not being athletic like the rest of them.

Posted in:Mariah Carey|Pitching

2008

29

May

Lydia Hearst’s Personal Sex in the City After Party Pics of the Day

I like to hate on Sex in the City as much as I can because I think it does bad thing to women as a species, but what I didn’t mention was the good things that it does to a woman as an individual and that is that it makes her horny and someone who puts out because the show programs them to think shit’s empowering. I remember being sucked into a Sex in the City party at some chick’s house about 10 years ago. I remember drinking beer while the host of the party made her fancy cocktails for her and her friends. By the end of the marathon, we were the only 2 people left at the party because there was still booze and I don’t leave a party until the last drop is consumed. Either way, the first chance bitch had, she jumped me like I was some successful, well dressed motherfucker, when in reality, I was just the only cock in the room. I ended up having unprotected sex with her where she asked me to finish on her face, and that is the shit that only comes when a girl watches sluts in Sex in the City and not sluts in porn. So if you’re a dude wanting to get laid, you gotta throw some Sex in the City parties, the only downside to that is that all the girls you invite will think you’re gay, but if you play it right, that non-threatening stance is key to having unprotected sex where she asks you to cum in her face.

Here are some pictures I stole from Facebook of Lydia Hearst at the Sex in the City Premiere afterparty and she may not fully be slutting out, but she definitely is giving us a whole lot of tongue and I hear that tongue is the gateway to unprotected sex that ends with you cumming on the sluts face.

Posted in:After Party|Lydia Hearst|Sex in the City|Slut

2008

29

May

Topanga Hit’s Up a Bar of the Day

I was trolling through facebook when I got in this morning, because I had to pretend that I was up all night working so my wife wouldn’t find out that I was out doing drugs and trying to do 18 year olds. I came across some dude’s pictures of a girl who looked a lot like Topanga from Boy Meets World only fatter and more troll-like and I decided to reach out to find out what the deal was. It turned out that it was the real Topanga and this is what he wrote:

Me and a few of my buddies went to McFaddens in Worcester MA one night and it happened to be Topanga’s guest bartender night. One of my buddies used to work at the bar when he went to school and knew a bunch of the bouncers and bartenders. We got to be at the front of the bar where she was hanging out and she gave us a bunch of shots to take with her. She wanted to dance and started grinding me and the girl i was with, I did my best for being a white guy with no rhythm and the three of us grinded for a solid hour… the type of moves that would make Cory Mathews jealous as a mother
fucker. Even the DJ at the bar tried to get with her.

At the end of the night me and my buddies tried to get her to go to the party we were going to but she had to go back to Boston or some shit to catch an early flight back to LA.

I guess it’s good to know that despite being a child star for some successful ABC family show, she still manages to get work, sure it’s hosting lame parties where she bar tends in small New England cities, but I guess it’s a lot better than having a successful acting career where she is the most desirable thing in Hollywood that gets so many jobs that she doesn’t know what to do with herself, because I’m sure deep down inside she wants none of that. She’d much rather be a nobody, she just goes to all those auditions she gets rejected from for jokes, her true passion lies in partying with commoners.

Posted in:Bar Tending|Tits|Topanga

2008

28

May

stepLINKS of the Day

I guess I am getting old, I just woke up from a 5 hour nap with one sock on and my balls exposed. I have no idea what happed, I was on the computer working on a post, drank a beer my wife brought me and woke up 5 hours later without even realizing I passed out.

I sleep enough every night and it’s not like I really over extend myself except but even after 2 huge coffees I passed the fuck out. I like to believe that the only explanation is that it is probably terminal disease that hasn’t manifested itself yet . You’ll all miss me. But before I go, Here are my links to click, take advantage of them when you still can.

I guess it could have been my wife date raping me for not banging her last night and needing some cock, but that makes me feel uneasy and I’d rather just think it’s cancer, because prison rape is the only kind of acceptable rape

Either way, here are my links.

Some Oiled Up Fitness Slut Shows Off Her Toned Body, Tight Ass and Big Titties in This Workout Video for You Fat Pigs….
GO

Posh Spice Making Sex Faces
GO

Batman’s Fetish for “Boy Wonders” is Called into Question
GO

Lil’ Kim’s Transformation into Michael Jackson is Almost Complete
GO

Cheryl Tweedy is in Purple Spandex Showing Off her Tits and I Love It
GO

The Hogans are Still Assholes
GO

Battlestar Galacta’s Sexy Grace Park Gallery
GO

The Top 10 Pro Athlete Daughters
GO

Tyra Banks Shows Off her Huge Hips on Some Magazine Cover
GO

Here’s a Funny Story on Vulgar Chicks You Want to Fuck Despite Them Thinking Farting is Cool….
GO

More Lisa Angeline Slut Video
GO

Find the clitoris!! It’s Not Just a Myth!!
GO

Sharon Stone’s Cellulite Ass
GO

Watch People Have Sex and Tell The Dude How Hard To Stuff the Whore
GO

Cigarette Box Transformers Video (seriously, this is awesome)
GO

These Teenaged Sluts Stole From Girl Scouts But Not Their Girl Scout Virginity – Scout’s Honor.
GO

Carmen Electra Gallery
GO

Anahi Gonzales is a Hot Slut
GO

Kate Hudson Short Dress/Stupid Boots
GO

Gary Dourdan From CSI Isn’t Going to Jail, Because Famous People Get to do Whatever the Fuck They Want
GO

Elisha Cuthbert Looking Good While Grabbing Something to Eat
GO

Amy Winehouses Complextion is Really Clearing Up and by Clearing Up, I Mean Looks Disgusting
GO

Amateur Striptease of the Day
GO

Slut and the City Hang Out at the NY Premier
GO

Hailey Star Hot French Maid
GO

Find Girls to Fuck, I Hear It’s What the Kids Are Doing These Days
GO

Another Homemade Stripper Pole Mishap
GO

Some Girl Breaks Her Arm Because She’s Doing a Gay Fuckin’ Dance
GO

Stick Shifter Fuck
GO

Some Latin Chick Shows Off Her Massive Tits
GO

Family Needs Education in Learning English
GO

Dunkin’ Donuts Apologizes for Being Racist Pigs Who Made America Fat
GO

Ordinary Girls Get Crazy at the Male Strip Club
GO

Some Chick Flashes her Neighbor
GO

Some Really Hot Beach Candids
GO

Sex With a Bellerina Makes for a Good Time
GO

Some Unwanted Public Facials
GO

Petre Nemcova Throwback that Almost Made My Dick Move
GO

Big Titted Lesbian Make Out
GO

Find Sex With This and Thank Me Later – It Works…
GO

Bath Time Stripdown
GO

Sophie Anderton Topless Throwback
GO

Lesbian Video of the Day
GO

And Now, the Worst Idea Ever…
GO

Sharon Stone’s Films Banned in China After She Run Her Fucking Mouth About The Earth
GO

The Top 10 Cutest Sex Toys Out There
GO

Some Chick in Her Underwear Doing the Hula Hoop Out on a Wii Fit
GO

Some Chick Named Lana Gets Naked on the Beach
GO

Some Dude Named Vince P’s Song Remixed by Diplo
GO

There’s Something Hot About a Mom and 14 Year Lohan Lookin at Pics of a Blowjob Together
GO

Here’s a Sex and the City review with spoilers… because I like to ruin people’s days…
GO

Chuck Norris Must Be as Hurtin for Money as I Am
GO

Facebook Gangster (It’s an Oxymoron I Know)
GO

Keeley Hazell Pink Lingerie
GO

George Clooney Dumps His Gold Digging Girlfriend Sarah Larson
GO

PORN REVIEWS:

Lesbian Porn Sites
GO

Hairy Chick Porn Sites
GO

Drunk Chick Porn Sites
GO

Creampie Porn Sites
GO

Handjob Porn Sites
GO

IN THE NEWS

Some Foot Fetishist Gets Busted
GO

University of North Florida’s, in Jacksonville-FL, ad campain on campus for new license plates, spells out racial slur.
GO

Some Swedish Woman Claims to Be Married to the Berlin Wall
GO

Plastic Fetish Man Gets Charged
GO

CONTEST

I saw this bitch Julianne Hough on Oprah Today and I Found Her Hot, Then This Contest Where She Sings or you and your friends came to my inbox and felt it was fate telling me that one of you will win – so sign up.
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FIND

Some Chubby Chick and Her Tit
GO

Some Chick in Her Underwear Showing Off Her Ass
GO

BONUS – CLUB WHORES GET DRUNK AND FUCK YOU IF YOU GIVE THEM GREY GOOSE AND CHAMPAGNE

GO

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2008

28

May

Mariah Carey Throwin’ A Pitch in Japan of the Day

Mariah Carey is in Japan because that’s the only country that is crazy enough to care about her and they got her to throw some pitch at some baseball game. She was classy enough to show up in her Mariah track jacket and workout shorts while wearing her high heels because they are the only thing that makes her fat legs look thin. I guess the joke that is Mariah Care continues but on an international scale and I guess it doesn’t matter because I wouldn’t mind her and her weak chin throwing anything down for me, preferably my pants, because I have a useless set of balls I wouldn’t mind her singing to.

Posted in:Mariah Carey|Pitching|Shorts

2008

28

May

More Mel B Bikini Pics from the Other Day of the Day

These Mel B pictures are from yesterday, so knowing you and your pervert ways, you’ve probably already seen them, I figured I’d post them anyway because I liked the grip the dude’s got on this bitch’s ass. It’s like dude landed this down on her luck single mother because her comedian boyfriend didn’t want to take any responsibility for the baby because he felt like she tricked him by turning the condom inside out to get knocked up to get what she wanted after he got what he wanted . So after her dreams of a picket fence future turned upside down and a whole legal battle to prove the baby was his, this dude moved in on her knowing she was an easy target because he was desperate for love making her willing to do anything to keep him around and by anything I mean she put out alot. Sure her pussy wasn’t as tight as it once was, but beggars can’t be choosers and it’s not everyday that this kind of lottery win happens.

Posted in:Bikini|Mel B

2008

28

May

Lydia Hearst in a Corset at the Sex in the City Premiere of the Day

Lydia Hearst was one of the lucky girls who got to go to the Sex in the CIty premiere. It could be because she’s a rich kid model, but I am thinking it’s probably because her family owns the rights to the show or maybe the theatre shit’s being shown in and it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that she’s wearing some lingerie as outerwear and saw something about how Sarah Jessica Parker was the first to make the bra a fashion item on this bullshit show, that I didn’t notice because I was too busy not looking at Sarah Jessica Parker because she’s fuckin’ ugly.

The problem with this show is that girls everywhere use it as some inspirational life coaching that they think represents real life. They think ignoring long term relationships and focusing on their careers while having random sexual encounters in some quest to find themselves will be fun and will all work out in the end for them because it does on the show. The truth is that the show was written by a fag and it’s his take on how women should be more like gays, because gays think their way is the right way, but the difference is that gays always find someone willing to fuck them because sex to gays is a primal need so long term relationships for them just don’t make sense, so as long as they are alive, they will always have someone to fuck. Women on the other hand age and if they aren’t locked down by a certain age, get replaced by younger models because dudes who like sluts tend to go for the better lookin’ ones because sluts are all about sex and not settling down and no one wants to marry a slut, we just like to fuck them, but not so much when they hit menopause, turning the slut into an old hag. So these successful women end up unhappy because they get stuck with losers because only losers would settle for a chick who’s had more cock than a chicken farmer.

That’s why watching these old slags slut out on their quest to find love while spending all their money on expensive shoes gives girls annoys me because I know it is ruining a generation of women by skewing their morals and values to one that leads to a miserable existence. The only good thing about this shit is that it confuses girls into thinking one night stands are empowering and that works for me because it makes getting in, doing the job and getting out a hell of a lot easier when the bitch doesn’t call back. Not that I’ve ever had a problem with having girls call me back, they usually are more into pretending shit never happened.

BONUS: Here are a couple of the washed up weathered cunts that women everywhere turn to as their independent woman inspirational leaders

Posted in:Corset|Lydia Hearst