DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

Sara Sampaio Shows Off her Pussy in Tight Pants Under the Guise that it is a Fitness Video of the Day

Industry Flesh Puppet Jessica Alba Propagandizes for the Machine of the Day

Sydney Sweeney is Glamour’s Woman of the Year of the Day

Paige Spiranac Feeling Herself Up of the Day

Margaret Qualley is Hot for an Ugly Chick of the Day

2008

Apr

Joanie Cunningham’s Faking an Orgasm on the School Bus of the Day

6 Comments »

Joanie Cunningham is some Happy Days cast member who I have never heard of because I wasn’t allowed to watch Happy Days growin’ up and I never had access to the reruns. I have however tried to seduce Henry WInkler’s daughter over facebook, but bitch pretty much told me to fuck off. I guess none of that matters, what does matter is that I am all too familiar with the fake orgasm since I got no skills in the bedroom and every once in a while girls I got with were motivated enough to pretend they were enjoying themselves enough to actually cum for me but I feel like it was just a trick to make me think I satisfied them and intern cum myself so that I can get the fuck off them, but truth be told, those girls were few and far between but I guess that’s only because GHB, Roofies and a alcohol poisoning puts a damper on a girl’s performing skills and kinda makes them a dead fish in bed, which never stopped me considering it was kinda like reaping the rewards of my hard work and risk taking, especially when the police asked me why I was dragging a slut out of a club by her hair and I had to be quick on my feet and come up with a good excuse, and by reaping the rewards I mean raping the rewards, but those are all just technicalities and I still got laid in the end so who cares how I made it happen.

Either way, I guess a school bus is a wild place even for washed up lesbian, man lookin’ bitches to pull off some dirty shit that makes me uncomfortable to watch but I have a thing for school buses because that’s the first place I got a girl to show me her tits, to let me finger her and to put her hand on my dick. Needless to say, I didn’t keep the job as the bus driver for too long.

Posted in:Joanie Cunningham'|Orgasm

2008

Apr

stepLINKS of the Day

9 Comments »

Flynet attacks again:

To Whom it May Concern,

My name is Jamie with Flynet Pictures, a photo agency located in Los Angeles, CA. We are writing you in concern to the blog drunkenstepfather.com that you host. We are asking you to shut them down immediately. We are having a continuous problem with them stealing our images on their site. They were hosted through another site before you,which did have them shut down for the illegal activity, but now that you are their new host , we are letting you know, you will be responsible for all legal fees and the amount due for this blog if you choose to remain there host. We have sent them repeated offers to work a deal out and they have refused and choose to continue using our images illegally , which is costing us money.

If you have any further questions, feel free to contact Nicolas at 323-833-7042 or nicolas@flynetpictures.com.

So now the fuckers are trying to shut me down because they claim I steal their images. The reality is that this site makes no money, I do commentary to pictures I find in forums and they never explicitly say who they belong to so I just post them. Whenever I am asked to take them down, I do immediately, even without proof of whether they actually belong to who they say they belong to because I don’t want problems. But they just keep bringing problems and now they’ve gone to my host to shut me down. I don’t know if they are going to or not, because that email is obviously not legally sound, like the time I emailed an ex girlfriend and asked her to start paying me child support because I used to suck her tit like I was her child and if she didn’t comply in 24 hours she’d be liable, but you never know. So I am posting this in the event that I get shut down, you’ll know who did it and you’ll know who to blame…..the real thief in all this is the paparazzi profiting off pictures of other people who they wrongfully and illegally take, or at least illegal enough to get me arrested the time I followed this hot bartender around for a week, snapping off pics of her in hopes of getting one worth jerking off to…

Here are my links:

Angelina is Lookin Ok for a Pregnant Chick
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Carla Lopez Will Help You End The Day With a Bang
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Live Vicariously Through the Sluts You Will Never Get to Hang Out With… Ever
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Candace Michelle Is a Dirty Little Slut..
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Some Model or Heidi Klum Falls Through the Runway
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Jade Jagger Upskirt
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A Full Gallery Of High Heels
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Get Into Any Club or Past Any Bouncer, Because You’re a Loser and Need This Kind of Help
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Because No Man is an Island and We All Need a Helping Hand
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A Web Cam Girlfriend is Better Than No Girlfriend At All
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The Creepiest Smokey the Bear Commercial Ever
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I Will Never Tire of Victoria’s Secret Ads Ever
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Ehhhhh…WTF Is Natalie Portman Dating?
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Kate Hudson’s Amazing Legs
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Let the Great Hunt Begin!
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You Stay Classy…
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Nicole Richie Lookin Good at Traffic School
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The Kooks – “Always Where I Need To Be (Live)”
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I Mean Sure, Why Not? Why Can’t a Retard Be Famous?
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Do NOT Mess With Chuck Norris
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The Hottest Chick Fight Ever
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Pussy Balloon
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Some Vintage Madonna Topless Action
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And You Thought Your Porn Collection Couldn’t Get Any Bigger….
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Friends Have Fun in the Tub
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Seren Gibson Looks is a Naughty College Co-Ed
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If Only We Could All Be Barron Hilton
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Super Sexy Life Savers
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Raven Riley is Hanging Out on a Boat
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Pam Anderson Got Naked For Hef’s Birthday, But She Gets Naked For Pretty Much Anyone, So Really It’s Not That Special of a Gift
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I Think Someone Should Off Heather Mills’ Other Leg
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Japan Can Make Even Billy Blanks Half Interesting
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And They Fight with Light Sabres Too. Is There Anything They Can’t Do?
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Shitney is Gonna Be The Face of Some Danish Furniture Line. Huh?
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Cheerleader Beatdown
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Life on Meth Seems Better
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Some Old Geri Ginger Spice Nude
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Some Football Player Gropes a Fat Chick and Get in Trouble for It…What a Waste…
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FROM PHOTOBUCKET

Some Chick and Her TIts and Other Good Thngs
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Some Girl Actin’ Slutty in her Panties
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Hot Chick Up Close and Personal
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Young Girl’s Self Shot Panty Pics
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Vagina Eating a Vibrator
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Some Chick Posing Slutty for Her Boyfriend
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Fat Lingerie
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Some Girl From the Back
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Some Dude’s Revenge….
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FROM THE FORUM

The Shins
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How About Some More Canadians
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Gomez Thread
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The Best Sex?
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Help ID This Amature Porn Actress
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Anal Violation
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More Photobucket Porn
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Hedgehog = Weapon
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Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

Apr

Tori Spelling Pregnant Bikini Pictures of the Day

14 Comments »

Tori Spelling is disgusting so it’s not surprising that she’s celebrating that she’s been knocked up by running around in a bikini. It’s her way of letting us all know that some dude was willing to get up in that and that we’ve missed our window because she’s a taken women. It’s her big fuck you to everyone who ever slept with her but insisted on using a condom so that they never have to be stuck to answering to her for the rest of the kid’s life and like all pregnant girls who pull themselves away from the toilet long enough to do some kind of photoshoot, she’s showing off the battle wounds of sex, that are just going to get worse when the baby pops out of her leaving her with even less sex appeal than she had before this whole mess. Pregnancy is only a beautiful thing to the girls who are pregnant because all their friends tell them how beautiful they look while under their breath are thankful it’s not them. Not to mention, they only hang with a pregnant chicks to make themselves more appealing. It’s like how chicks hang with ugly girls to make themselves look hotter because standing next to a knocked up bitch makes any girl look skinny and desirable, because only really desperate assholes with sick festishes are horny enough to hustle a pregnant chick, so hanging with a pregnant chick is also a filter because that is the kind of guy no girl wants to mistakenly have a one night stand with unless of course she’s pregnant and wants to be naughty for a night, because it’s pretty clear that they already put out.

Here’s Tori in her bikini….

Posted in:Bikini|Pregnant|Tori Spelling

2008

Apr

Iliana Fischer’s Bathing Suit Pictures of the Day

1 Comment »

Iliana Fischer is some Playboy model who is on the beach with her only friend because he never judges her for being a slut who gets naked for getting ahead and by ahead I mean make enough money to pay her rent because I’ve never heard of her so that usually means she’s pretty much just a nobody and I surprised she’s even made it into Playboy considering her body is nothing to freak out over. Sure she’s got the fake blonde hair but I’m thinking that t was because some make a wish foundation dream or something.

I like how she’s wearing some kind of University Sweatshirt, it makes her whole bullshit story while working the local strip club pole more believable. Sure you’re going to Med School sweetheart, I’m ok way grabbing your tits in exchange for 10 dollars you can put towards your “tuition” and by tuition I mean up her nose, because you’ve gotta be on drugs to be this kind of women at least that’s what I’ve learned throughout my worldly travels to the local strip club.

Posted in:Bathing Suit|Dog|Iliana Fischer

2008

Apr

Clay Aiken Gay Sex Pose of the Day

No Comments »

Here are some pictures that you can use to get off to if you have enough computer skills to turn shit into an animated gif and if you get turned on by red haired freaks with angelic voices. These are some pictures of Gay Clay in some prison rape stance making some prison rape facial expressions even though motherfucker hasn’t officially come out of the closet. I am the kind of guy who can never tell if the dude I am having a beer with is into gay sex but that’s just because I am pretty unattractive and even the horniest blue balled fag wouldn’t get with me, so the sexual tension is never really there. I am also the kind of guy who goes to gay bars accidentally with my friends who all end up getting assaulted in the bathroom while motherfuckers steer clear of me like I have AIDS and I’m trying to rain on their gay pride parade, so I have no real idea whether Aiken is actually aching from being a bottom, but I’ll say that I wouldn’t put it past him and not just because he likes singing more than the average man does and that in and of itself is pretty fucking gay.

Posted in:Clay Aiken|Gay

2008

Apr

Sophie Monk’s Got No Bra and Hard Nipples of the Day

4 Comments »

I think posting Sophie Monk is my way of rubbing shit in Benjo Madden’s face because I think she’s hot and he’s onto some sewage treatment plant of a vagina that he found in Paris Hilton. I know the whole expression we used to drop back in the day that even Cindy Crawford’s husband gets bored of her and seeks new vagina, back when Cindy Crawford was the hottest model out there, but I still think going from this to Paris is some kind of twisted shit. I guess Paris is more experienced sexually, and that sometimes means that bitch is better in bed and can do things to him that a regular unslutty chick can’t, but I know that every slut that I’ve ever got with has been pretty shitty in bed and the reason they are sluts in the first place. Pretty much no guy ever stuck around with them long enough for them to really experiment and there sex may be with many people, but it’s been bad sex with many people. Where as a girl who just gets out of a long term relationship is all about licking your asshole and letting you fuck her without a condom because that’s all she really knows.

I guess what it all comes down to is that that best sex Madden has ever had was when he was in the womb suckin off his twin brother that they caught on ultrasound, and for him his life will be a constant journey to find that innocent first love again…..and unfortunately for him he’s lookin’ in all the wrong places, but at least he can get a cheesy mall tattoo to commemorate the journey.

Here’s Sophie Monk with no bra and hard nipples you perverts…

Posted in:Nipples|Sophie Monk|Tits|Uncategorized

2008

Apr

Jessica Simpson’s Nipples Do Esquire of the Day

7 Comments »

Jessica Simpson is in Esquire and I am not down with the way she’s aging, not sure why but I feel like everyday she looks more and more like a dude. The good news is that she’s got some tits and those tits have hard nipples and I guess that compensates for her pro-athlete lookin’ face.

I was watching some Carson Daly shit last night at a girl I met at Starbucks’ house and Perez Hilton was on talking about how he was making out with John Mayer while Jessica was rubbing Mayer’s crotch. Now I don’t care for Perez or his gay stories with singer/song writing homos who aren’t out of the closet with their homosexuality, but the fact that he’s doing gay shit isn’t a testament to how shitty Jessica is in bed, it’s just proof that bitch looks enough like a dude to attract dudes who are on the fence with their sexuality. She’s the kind of girl down with male-male-female threesomes for her sexually confused boyfriend and that makes her someone you’d probably like to get to know because your theory is that as long as there’s a chick in the room with you and another naked erect man, you’re in the clear and don’t have to come out to your family.

More proof that bitch attracts closet cases is that she’s dating a football quarterback. Football may be the most abusive sport out there with men tackling men in spandex who all go to the locker room to shower together when the games over, but it sounds a whole lot like a gay porno storyline to me and if you were a closet cased homo in highschool, you’d probably be more drawn to that extra curricular activity than starting a band to lure all the slutty girls into your basement with….

I guess my theories don’t matter, just look at the pics.

Posted in:Esquire|Jessica Simpson|Nipples

2008

Apr

Men are Better than Women of the Day

17 Comments »

I get a lot of hate mail for being some kind of mysogynist, which is a word I had never heard before starting the site but now deal with it everyday and it’s got something to do with hating women or some other stupidity. So the feminists attack me because they think I objectify women and write rude shit about women when I’ve always believed that I love chicks and that’s why I write about them. If I actually hated chicks, I’d be into cock and that’s where this site would go and what we’d talk about.

Either way, this dude started a site and wrote a book called MenAreBetterThanWomen and I think this dude is full of shit and trying to cash in on some shock value shit and this is some kind of publicity stunt, but the shit he says makes me laugh. Not necessarily because everything he says is true but because it’s funny. It’s not shit that I think on the daily, but I feel like it is something most dudes probably agree with. I guess calling girls whores because they are opportunists and date men for money because they are better providers and allow for a lifestyle they want isn’t really a chauvinist thing to say, its kinda just reality but guys are the same because they’d date girls for being hot before dating them for being nice, guys and girls are just lookin’ for different things and since I am ugly I figure that’s good news for me provided I ever make money….

My problem is not with women but with feminists who create Women’s Studies programs in Universities and who overcompensate by denouncing their sex appeal, putting on a pair of construction boots and taking of their make-up so that they can be hard ass cunts by taking themselves too seriously and ragging on people like me in some kind of fight for women’s rights and a whole down with penis mission. All this while denying that they can use their bodies and sex appeal to get ahead,

I’ve never had issues with girls who are down to earth, know what’s up and realize that suckin’ dick and showing their tits will help their careers and can sit around and joke about that shit, because I don’t think women have nothing to say and are useless and only good for fucking, but because I think there’s a group of these lesbian manhaters than are giving good sweet girls who I like to be around a pretty bad name….

Either way, His thoughts and delivery are pretty well put together so listen to his Voicemail Response to some Single Mother….

and….

Check Out the Website Because I Never Heard of It Before Yesterday, But Then Again I am Not Really Up To Date on Much…..
GO

Posted in:menarebetterthanwomen.com

2008

Apr

Olivia Munn Bikini in Jamaica of the Day

3 Comments »

So I don’t really know who Oliva Munn is, but know she has a huge geek following, at least enough of one to have found and released pictures stolen from her Myspace while sitting on it waiting for this day to come for the last 5 months, that I had no choice but to post it….

Since Oliva Munn is on some Geek TV channel with some Geek TV show that actually featured me once, I have no choice but to post her bikini pictures on this site to accommodate the one virginal motherfuckers who found me while jerking off to her show while building his Star Trek model. If only you could channel that brain power and multitasking skills into something a little more productive, you’d have a better chance of moving out of your mom’s basement and break into the real world where real girls could be drunk enough to let you manipulate them to go back to your apartment to fuck, but I guess that’s a shitty trade off from always having food in the fridge and your laundry folded and bed always made, because sex is scary, especially when it’s uncharted territory….

Either way, It’s my way of paying G4TV back

Posted in:Bikini|Olivia Munn

2008

Apr

Mila Kunis is a Jew I’d Like to Fuck of the Day

5 Comments »

The Jewish girls I come across look more like a muppet than anything I’d want to fuck. You know with their big noses and droopy eyes, something so wonky lookin’ that you’d expect it them to have a hand jacked up their asses making them whine about everything they can think of on their way to get get their nails and hair done in daddy’s Lexus SUV because daddy doesn’t buy German cars after what the German’s did to his people or some shit. I just always blamed the facial disorder on the incest the strength of the culture is based on. It was also the reason I had for their asthma, allergies, bad eyesight and money making ability. So when I see Mila Kunis knowing she’s Jew I get thrown off in a good way. Maybe I shouldn’t be so quick to judge their people because there’s always going to be an exception to the rule and maybe I should be more accepting as a person but the truth is I am pretty accepting and just cuz a bitch looks like a muppet never stopped me from letting them show off their blow job skills they learnt in camp on me. I actually encourage rich girls whose parents want them to marry into their religion to use me as a form of rebellion against the family but that’s just because when a bitch thinks she’s being naughty, it usually comes through in the way she fucks, so Muppet-faced or not, I am usually always down for a good time.

Unfortunately, Mila Kunis has some sick Home Alone 1 through 3 fantasy that’s lead her to end up with Macaulay Culkin. She’s been with him for 8 years or some shit and seems like she is under his child star spell, so that just leaves me with jerking off to her voice on Family Guy or reruns of That 70s Show, now all I need to make that happen is a TV. I guess it’s good to have dreams.

In case you didn’t know, Complex featured me in their magazine too. I guess that may make their editorial team questionable, but I think it makes them my friend so click the link and show them some love, because they showed me love and that’s gotta count for something.

To See The Article and Rest of the Pictures
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Posted in:Complex|Jew|Mila Kunis