I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

25

Apr

Brooke Hogan’s Got a Wet Ass of the Day

Brooke Hogan is sad that her parents are staging a divorce and that her dad is running around with her older friend and mentor because bitches look the same. She’s so upset that the attention isn’t on her that’s she’s gone out and peed herself like a 2 year old kid because she knows that will get mommy and daddy’s attention and in some juvenile way, hopes that her emotional breakdown will bring their family together.

I never understood why kids were such pussies about their parents splitting up. It seems like a way better situation to be in. You don’t have to listen to the fuckers fight all the time, you have two homes so you can always escape whichever parent is pissing you off and the guilt your parents have for being failures by starting a family with someone they wrongfully thought they would stay with and the social shitstain they’ve become in their community leads to overcompensation that usually comes in the form of a lot of gifts. Whenever I see a kid cry about his parent’s divorcing I always laugh at how self-important people are, like their little bullshit family unit is relevant to the rest of the fuckin’ world and they should just look on the fuckin’ brightside instead of pulling a Lohan and blaming the divorce for her self-destruction. Shit’s fuckin’ weak so Brooke Hogan better pull the fuckin’ diaper up, shut the fuck up and film a fuckin’ sex tape because I want to know if she’s actually got a pussy or not because she’s broad and I like to think that’s the only revenge I can see fitting to show her parent’s how their failed marriage destroyed her that benefits me.

Posted in:Ass|Brooke Hogan|cleavage

2008

25

Apr

Jodie Marsh’s Stupid Tits Partying of the Day

Party sluts are the new porn sluts because they dress the same and fuck in exchange for free booze instead of money and they don’t usually do it on camera unless the dude who is feeding the party slut booze is smart enough, which he usually isn’t because being the dude who feeds girls booze out of his overpriced bottle, is usually a prime example of how retarded he is……

It’s like every club’s got half naked girls bottle whoring themselves onto cunt’s in Ed Hardy T-shirts who have bottle’s of Goose, despite mixing that shit down with cranberry juice because they don’t like the burn of alcohol and could be mixing rubbing alcohol in the shit because it’s a lot cheaper, but that doesn’t have the same effect on people or impress girls as much as a 300 dollar bottle to go with their 100 dollar t-shirt that probably cost 2 dollars to make in some third world country, and a pair of 300 dollar jeans that make their asses look appealing to sluts who just want to get a free drink because they want to save their slut money to buy themselves something special like a new bra or sheer panties to flash at unsuspecting assholes who are trying to look like they are ballin’ when in reality work a normal 9-5 and are just what you call a 9-5 Millionaire, or someone with no money, just a line of credit because he’s held his job at the call center long enough to be considered a low risk.

It’s all overcompensation bullshit but not as overcompensating as Jodie Marsh’s retarded tits.

Posted in:Implants|Jodie Marsh

2008

25

Apr

Heather Locklear Bikini Pictures of the Day

Here’s some Old Lady Locklear getting all competitive with Denise Richards and going as far as to stage her own bikini photoshoot with the paparazzi because her ego hasn’t fully recovered from having her husband leave her or the younger tighter body. She’s trying to prove to herself and to us that she’s got it going on and the truth is that she looks better than most 50 year old, but then again her life consists of doing absolutely nothing, so I can only assume that staying in shape and trying to retain as much of the sex appeal that got her this career in the first place is top priority, so in that case she’s doing a pretty shitty job of it.

There used to be a show on called Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon where you’d try to figure out how a person was six degrees of separation from Kevin Bacon….I am generally bad at games because I find them ridiculous and every time I end up at someone’s house and the board games are out, I drink the the free booze, eat the free food, then make my escape because playing that shit makes me feel like a total asshole and it’s embarrassing that at 38 I’d still find entertainment out of something so ridiculous, but today, I broke free from that because Heather Locklear’s six degrees from Kevin Bacon is easy. I forgot where I was going with this, but Locklear is still a slut, even as she enters the golden years of her life and that’s all I have to say about that.

Posted in:Bikini|Heather Locklear

2008

25

Apr

Denise Richards Bikini Pictures of the Day

Denise never had much to offer the world other than her sex scene with Neve Campbell in Wild Things. As much as I hated that movie, there’s just something about seeing two sluts get it on for Kevin Bacon that would make me think shit was overlooked for an Academy Award. It’s that kind of cinematic history that is only remembered by perverts and dudes who rent movies based on the level of nudity they have in them and it’s too bad that shit was the peak of her career because way back then, she was actually hot. Here she is trying to hold onto that sex appeal by running around in a Bikini in some staged photoshoot to draw publicity to her new show. If I was on the beach, which I am not and haven’t been on in years because I don’t live the celebrity life of luxury, I wouldn’t mind lookin’ at her in hopes of a vagina lip hangin’ out but the second a younger, tighter body walks by this hag, I’ll be getting my creep on elsewhere. It’s one of those better than nothing situations like the time you jerked off to your sister on a family camping trip because it was between her and your mom and jerking off to your mom just felt too wrong…

Posted in:Bikini|Denise Richards|Tits

2008

25

Apr

Britney Spears Bikini 20 Pounds Lighter of the Day



So they say Britney is in the best shape she’s been in years and that she’s lost something like 20 pounds of disgusting, but the truth is that I never found Britney disgusting, even in her three day old miscarriage panties, I was just happy to know she wasn’t pregnant with the paparazzi baby because the paparazzi are fucking scum and don’t deserve to reproduce. I am also loyal like a dog and remember wanting to fuck her in all those slutty music videos and won’t walk away from that just because she’s put on a bit of weight and went a little crazy and had a couple babies, she still looks better than anything I’ve fucked and her bank account can support my really affordable life.

Either way, here she is in some magazine bikini pictures lookin’ hot enough for me to fuck but that’s not saying much considering at this point in my life, I’d fuck rotting hamburger meat and shit would smell better than my wife’s pussy. I realize I am on a wife kick today, she pissed me off this morning when I realized she was still breathing….so I take that disappointment out on you.

Posted in:20 Pounds|Bikini|Britney Spears

2008

25

Apr

Neve Campbell’s Hot Tits of the Day

I never watched Party of 5 because I have a penis, I don’t really have one anymore, it’s more a useless fleshy mound that I pee out of but can’t use to fuck because my wife has destroyed my sex drive by being the most disgusting thing I have ever seen naked and smelled. I guess there’s some serious psychology behind fucking a woman who’s ass you have to wipe because she can’t reach….but that doesn’t really matter because I don’t fuck her…

Speaking of useless fleshy mounds, here are some pictures of Neve Campbell’s hot tits, It’s one of those situations where you try to figure out why it was that you used to jerk off and be so into this chick back in the 90s because when you see her inverted nippled saggy disaster 10 years later it just doesn’t make sense. Then you notice her lesbian haircut and realize that she’s not the kind of girl you should still be getting wood for, she’s the kind of girl you should getting wood with, like at the Home Deopot…because lesbians like construction….and since you won’t be staring at her tits the whole time, you’ll probably be pretty productive…I don’t know where I am goin’ with this….just look at her tits because they are exposed.

Posted in:Nasty|Neve Campbell|Tits

2008

24

Apr

stepLINKS of the Day

I just spent the last hour prank calling a guy with my stepdaughter. I pretended to be a girl and put on the Mexican accent and dude called me gay. I am offended so to make up for it, I made her show me her tits. I also tried to get her to invite her friends over for a sleepover. They are 18 so I’m safe.

Here are my links:

Porn for the Blind is a Smarter Site Than This One…
GO

Katie Price is Feeding Her Fake Tits
GO

Hilary Duff, Her Horseface and Her Tits in a Purple Shirt
GO

Some Half Famous Asian Chick in the Shower
GO

These Pic sof Kelly Clarkson in a Bikini Scare the Shit Out of Me But Then Again…All Pics of Kelly Clarkson Scare the Shit Out of Me…
GO

Here Are Some Montreal Party Sluts
GO

Some Funny 911 Calls
GO

The Lovely Jesse Slut…
GO

Learn to Fart in Perfect Pitch, Because It Impresses Chicks…
GO

Some Webcam Sluts Willing to Fuck and Do Shit On Camera All You Gotta Do Is Ask….
GO

Hooters is the Shittiest Restaurant Ever, But Here’s Some ofTheir Hot Waitresses Dancing Anyways
GO

Kate Beckinsale is a Slut….
GO

Kim Kardashian Was in a Bikini Because Her Life is a Vacation
GO

Find Girls to Fuck Here, Because It’s Easy…..
GO

Some Pretty Hot Chick With Treehugger Hair’s Pornographic Tree Huggin’ Vacation Pictures With Sex….
GO

Pink and Her Schlong Buy Some Cookies Outside a Grocery Store
GO

Jimmy Fallon is Going to Replace Conan O’Brian. Jesus Christ Kill Me….
GO

Gwenyth Paltrow’s Got Some Nice Legs for a Dog….
GO

Some Lauren Conrad Cleavage
GO

Ugly Cheerleaders Acting Up and Showing Off Their Blowjob Skills
GO

Watch This Chick Victoria Get a Facial
GO

Naked Amateur of the Day
GO

Tom Cruise to Re-Create Crazy on Oprah
GO

Wesley Snipes Fucked With Me 4 Years Ago But Now The Law’s Got Him So That Serves The Fucker Right
GO

Here is Some Asian in Lingerie’s Beauty Dance Show
GO

Here’s Another One…
GO

Reader Ricky Awesome’s Friend Naked
GO

Elisabeth Hasselbeck Takes Her Kids To Meet The Scariest Fuckin’ Thing I’ve Ever Seen
GO

Some Girl Doing Weird Shit With her Face
GO

Jamie Lynne Spears Should Definitly Get a C-Section to Save Her Teenaged Vagina
GO

Young Girls Fight Over Who Has a Better Ass in this Booty Shake Ass-Off
GO

Some Dude Fucking the Fattest Bitch I’ve Ever Seen
GO

A Beach Nipple Slip…
GO

Some Funny Parasailing Accident Video
GO

Some Alicia Keys Gallery Cuz She’s a Slut
GO

Some Chick Showing Off Her Big Old Tits
GO

Rumer Willis in a Bikini Because She’s Got a Busted Face
GO

Funny King Sized Condom Ad
GO

Some Weird Fuckin’ Photoshoot of Some Dirty Fuckin’ Girl Named Sasha Grey
GO

Here is the Sasha Grey Photoshoot Video
GO

Here She is in the Roots Video
GO

Sasha Lets It Hang Out
GO

Some Couple Caught Banging in the High School Bathroom
GO

Beach Fight Cuz Spring Break Isn’t Just Sluts and Tits….
GO

Some Web Cam Whore Video…
GO

Bai Long Looks Like a Dirty Asian Buffet of a Mess
GO

Some Wet T-Shirt Gallery For You Pervs….
GO

Some Slutty Russian Vodka Commercial…Cuz Communist Girls Don’t Have High Expectations….
GO

Bianca Beauchamp Is a Slutty Fetish Model You Want to Fuck and I Want to Shit On…
GO

Lauren Eagle Almost Makes My Dick Hard. Almost
GO

Some Amateur Whoredom
GO

Monica Bellucci Nudes
GO

Use This to Lure Pussy
GO

FROM PHOTOBUCKET

Some Lookin’ Good Sweetheart Action
GO

Some Young Chick With Her G-String and Underwear and Naked and Shit….
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

24

Apr

Katie Price is Haggard Fake Titted Whore Who Dresses like She’s “THIS” Many of the Day

I saw an old lady on a date with a young black dude. I guess they could really have a connection and met in a normal wholesome way, but I like to think she’s doing it to be adventurous and naughty as her sexual peak teeters off. She’s probably trying to fill a void but not the void of being lonely and feeling undesirable after being dumped by her successful husband for a younger hotter model, but the void that is her vagina after having 3 kids and 4 decades of use. It’s probably a big ol’ mess in her lacy underwear she bought after getting a brazilian in hopes of gettin’ new dick.

Speaking of old ladies, here’s a picture of Jordan lookin’ fucking old and haggard. I won’t let her club slut version of a 7 year old girl’s outfit throw me off but I will let her tits throw me…kick me…suffocate me and pretty much do anything they want to me, not because I like retarded fake tits but because they look like they have a life of their own and a whole lot of attitude, kinda like her little boyfriend in his Ed Hardy shirt….because when a dude wears Ed Hardy you know he means business and by business I mean gay sex.

Posted in:Fake Tits|Jordan|Katie Price

2008

24

Apr

Olivia Munn Bikini Photoshoot of the Day

Virgins like Olivia Munn and I like making fun of virgins, especially when they are in their late 20s who collect action figures, who love comic books and who spend their lives hiding in their apartment filled with computer equipment. The same kind of virgin who got excited when Geek Chic became popular 5 years ago, thinking that it was finally their time to shine, until that fad faded fast, leaving them alone to watch TV shows designed for teenage girls, even though they are more sexually inexperienced than teenage girls and can hardly relate to the subject matter and other shit like G4TV because they have a crush on the host who pretends she can relate to geeks by reading a script and lookin’ decent enough for the geeks to feel like they really have someone they can connect with, even though she’s on TV and not on their couch watching Star Trek with them.

None of that matters, what does matter is that Olivia Munn got into her bikini again for the geeks to get more excited about how hot they think she is, but that hotness is probably 95 percent delusion that she’s actually into the same shit as they are – when in reality, she’s just into the paycheck and the whole getting on TV thing because every girl who thinks she’s hot also thinks she deserves fame and fortune, even when they don’t and the closest they can get is a third rate show on a third rate cable channel only losers care about.

Posted in:Bikini|Olivia Munn|Photoshoot

2008

24

Apr

Denise Richards Paddle Surfs of the Day

I am pretty depressed today because I found out that my piece of shit computer that I got for 40 dollars and that broke on me this past weekend died because of its hard drive. Now that may not mean much to any of you who only use your but it’s a big deal to me because I was writing my memoirs and had at least 20 pages that I won’t be able to recreate because I was drunk when I wrote them and never re-read them and was saving them as some kind of surprise a surprise I will not be able to ever experience. The good news is that everyone I tell this to asks me if I did a back-up, ask why I didn’t do a back-up and tell me that I should have done a back-up because that’s what they are for. Thanks for the advice, asshole.

At least I can get pleasure from looking at these useless pictures of a useless Denise Richards doing a useless paddle surf because it’s real surfing’s gay younger brother all while in a useless bikini top because her body is sloppy, therefore useless and has no need for a bikini top, and it’s all for a useless reality show that shell make a lot more money on than I ever but at least I am not the only one that’s useless in the world.

Posted in:Bikini Top|Denise Richards