I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

22

Apr

From the Forum of the Day

I just woke up and I am not sure why, there were riots in Montreal because of crazy Canadian Hockey fans and I decided to head out to find girls flashing there tits because I made a guarantee to a good friend of mine that the girls would be out flashing and she thinks I am full of shit, so I had to prove her wrong. That said, I ended up in the hospital, not because I was sick, but because I like watching other people in misery sometimes to make me really understand just how lucky I am. I met a nice girl who was in a car accident who will be going into surgery in the next couple days and tried to get her to show me her ass in her hospital gown, but the broken leg got in the way. When I asked if she had seat belt burns, she didn’t appreciate me asking to see it over and over again in hopes of getting a glimpse of her nipple. Either way, my heart goes out to her. Drive Safe.

Here are some posts from the forum you should take part in!

————music—————-

Ladytron – Velocifero
GO

Tom Waits – Black Rider
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Michael Jackson – Got to Be There
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Big Country – The Crossing
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Perfect Beats – Vol.3
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Ween – The Mollusk
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The Knife – Deep Cuts
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Fischerspooner – #1
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The Cure – Rarities and B-sides
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Juvenile – 400 Degreez
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———-Girls Doing Sexy Things————–

Kumikomi Feels Herself
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Carmen is a slut
GO

Young and Top Heavy
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Misty Hendricks
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Ambrosia is a lesbian slut
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MILF with a breats reduction
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Random Sluts
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———–Software————-

VidaOne Diet and Fitness for all the fatties ou there
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———–sex talk————

Where is Your Aim?
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————-e-books————-

Great Lies To Tell Small Kids
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Posted in:Forum

2008

22

Apr

Hustler Lingerie Photoshoot of the Day

Hustler Lingerie, known for being one of the classier brands of lingerie found in strip clubs and trashy party slut homes around America because it doesn’t give you a rash or turn your skin green like some cheap jewelry you bought at the mall, did some kind of photoshoot of their shit with some porn lookin’ bitch and I figured I’d post it here for you to lighten up your depressingly useless day.

Sure, it’s not as exciting as real porn and the no name who is a no name according to me and could actually be a someone is hardly anything to look at, even though she looks better than my wife or pretty much anyone I’ve ever fucked, but in my defense, I am not encouraging my wife or anyone I’ve ever fucked to produce videos like this I am definitely not watching or thinking about seeing them like this, not that I wouldn’t, because the truth is disgusting girls getting naked usually gets me more aroused than watching this plastic lookin’ sluts livin’ out what is probably the height of their careers, but maybe I’m just weird….in fact, I think we’ve established that I am weird a long time ago….so just watch the fuckin’ video….

Posted in:Hustler Lingerie|Photoshoot

2008

22

Apr

Hilary Duff is a Cowboy in Shorts of the Day

This post is legendary and by legendary I mean not very interesting at all but worth posting because short shorts are in style this summer, at least that’s what it looks like because I was out over the weekend and every girl was wearing shorts where ass cheeks hung out of the motherfuckers and pussies were suckin’ those fuckin’ things up like they hadn’t been fed in weeks….and that makes me a fan.

The truth is that anything slutty making its way into the mainstream is something that I support because I am a pervert and there was a time when the only girls who wore these things total were fuckin’ sluts and looked down upon by other girls, making the girls who had the bodies to pull it off and who were sitting on the fence about rockin’ these in public choose to not put them on. That made people like you and me the losers in the situation, which isn’t saying much because we were losers to begin with but it’s saying something and that something is that when you see Hilary Duff in anything slutty, you know that shit’s not slutty anymore and is all of a sudden considered wholesome because her virgin touch purifies things since her only sexual experience was when she used to eat Good Charlotte’s pussy and that was a long time ago….since then it’s been occasional accidental masturbation from when she pressed up against the jet of her jacuzzi for a few minutes longer than she was supposed to…

Either way, here’s everyone’s favorite cowgirl who’s only experience with a horse was back when she was younger and would climb up on her sister’s back and I approve.

Posted in:Cowboy|Hilary Duff|Shorts

2008

22

Apr

Empire Isis Could Be The Next Big Thing Exclusive of the Day

I know you fuckers are into hard rock, death metal and other things that you can listen to while breaking things and masturbating while crying at the same time, but this song was just sent to me and it made me and my wife dance together. The truth is that I don’t dance, especially with my pig of a wife, but the artist is named Empire Isis, she’s out of Montreal, she’s been making music for a long time and she’s just turned down a deal with Interscope, has won a ton of awards and is produced by Prayon who is the same dude who does beats for Beyonce, G-Unit and Sean Paul. They are onto big things and you’ll be hearing a lot more from her in the next few months so I figured I’d be the one to release the tune. I’m an opportunist like that.

This is a Stepfather exclusive to start your day and I approve of Empire Isis so you should too.

Listen to the track : Empire Isis – Don’t Go Home (Dirty)

GO TO HER MYSPACE FOR MORE
GO

Posted in:Empire Isis|stepMUSIC

2008

21

Apr

stepLINKS of the Day

I got fan mail:

I just ran across your filthy website! You are a total pig. Not all women are “sluts” and “bitches.” This is so offensive. I read that you have a wife? I weep for the poor woman.

You know, I was used by a lot of guys like you when I was in high school and college. It’s because of these attitudes that guys are dicks to women. You are helping to ruin a lot of lives out there by perpetuating stereotypes.

Please take down your website.

Jade

I responded:

Jade,

I do not think all women are sluts and bitches.

I am sorry to hear that you were used by guys in high school and college, but the truth is that you own your vagina and unless they were raping you, you allowed yourself to get used. If you weren’t a slut and kept your vagina in your pants, you’d have no issues and you can really only blame yourself.

I’ll make a deal with you…I’ll take down my website when you send me pics of you masturbating. Just think of it as a small sacrifice to save all the lives I am ruining by perpetuating stereotypes that I didn’t create, but just comment on.

With Love,
Jesus Martinez
Drunkenstepfather.com

That said, it may be the end of the site, because Jade asked so politely, but before I go, here’s a special offer:

Try These Mobile Coupons to Make Money
GO

And Here are my links:

Somebody Still Wants Jenna’s Vagina
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Something Completely Unattainable to Start Your Week Off Right
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Heidi Montag Showing the World Her Greatest Talent
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Danica Patrick is Number One Slut…in this Slutty Photoshoot
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Boxing Ain’t So Gay Anymore
GO

The Hottest Girls a Virgin Like You Will Ever Have a Chance With
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Speaking of Virgin’s Here’s a Special Video Dedicated to YOu
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Pam Anderson Bleeds Class
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Web Cam Sluts That May Just Give You a Shot
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Hot Porn Star Who I Have a Crush On Named Kayden Kross Masturbating Video
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Japan Confuses ME Sometimes
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Speaking of Japan, This Hot Japanese Chick is Pranking Dudes
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I Don’t Know What Vanessa Marcil is Doing Lately, But Here’s a Photoshoot of Hers Nonetheless
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Miley Cyrus is Slowly Inching Down Her Chosen Path
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It’s Like a Map to Star’s Homes, But With Hot Chicks Instead
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Kate Beckinsale Keeps on Looking Better….
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Pete Doherty Doesn’t Surprise Me Anymore…He’s Awesome
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I Want to Give it To Zhang Ziyi’s Eggroll and by Eggroll I mean Vagina
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Carmen Electra Looking Sexy at her 56th Birthday
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Naked Girls + Ocean = Boners. That’s a Mathematical Fact
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Lohan Continues Her Decent Into Old Age
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Beach Babes to Get Off To
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Best Porn in the Net Right Here
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Hysterical Glory Hole Outtake Video of a Nasty Girl Who is Repulsed By The Dude and Pukes (NSFW)
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Meet Crideon….She’s a Slut
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Natasha Mealey Topless
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A Situation I’m Sure You Can Relate To
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Some Annoying Girl Gets Knocked the Fuck Out By Some Dude
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Eva Mendes is in Some New Movie Poster, Lookin’ Hot
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And Here’s the Trailer for Said Movie
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I Wouldn’t Put My Dick in Anything Ray J’s Has Been In, But Whitney Houston is Still Lookin’ Bangable
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Some Girl Playing With Retarded Big Tits Video
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Some Chicks Pole Dancing End Up in a Brawl…Funny
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Like Peas and Carrots
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A Double Nipple Slip Picture
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10 Hottest Videos of Girls Taking Off Their Bras
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20 Sexy Environmentalists
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Hayden Panettiere Defends Paris Hilton
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The Texas Polygamist Wife Calendar
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Adri Gets Drunk and Takes Off Her Clothes
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I Hate Shia Lebeouf, and So Does Everyone Else
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Amy Winehouse’s Blake Incarcerated is a Real Class Act
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Drunk Slut Dances On Hood of Vehicle
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Liz Hurley Can Still Rock a Bikini
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Taking It Off!!
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FROM PHOTOBUCKET

Creepy Funeral Pics I Don’t Understand
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Asian Nipple
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Use This To Get Sex, Because Sex is Fun!
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

21

Apr

Cheryl Tweedy Cole Hard Nipples of the Day

Cheryl Tweedy Cole is hot. She’s also a Posh Spice rip off. She’s from the UK, she’s in a girl band, she’s got a Soccer playing husband and now she’s got rock hard nipples. This girl is fuckin’ skinny and I like it.

I’ve decided that my enemy is the whole institution of Eating Disorder clinics because it encourages skinny girls, or girls who know what’s important, like not eating that pint of Ice Cream, to look at their lifestyle choices as unhealthy or bad. They try to convince them that they have a negative body image, when all they are trying to do is look good at all costs and they train them to get back into eating, so that they put on weight, because they are just jealous of their discipline.

The one thing that isn’t my enemy is air conditioning and/or a brisk breeze, because it makes nipples hard and is natures way of telling me that it gets more pussy than me. I don’t even remember the last time I got a girl’s nipples hard, I figure it’s cuz I do my best at avoiding anything involving my wife’s disgusting tits, but maybe it’s just cuz I’ve got no game.

Either way, here’s a skinny Cheryl Tweedy Cole doing her best Posh Spice impersonation and lookin’ pretty good while doing it.

Posted in:Cheryl Tweedy Cole|Hard Nipples

2008

21

Apr

Lohan’s Lesbian Sex Eyes of the Day

Lindsay Lohan is giving me sex eyes and I like it. I don’t think she’s as haggard as people like to say she is. She looks good and I want to fuck the Herpes out of her, unfortunately this Samantha Ronson lesbian coke-slut is cock-blocking me. She’s on my Facebook and every time I message her asking for Lohan’s phone number she ignores me. I know while she’s preventing me from stealing Lohan from her because I am substantially cooler, she’s running off her lesbian penis hating mouth to a broken down Lohan. with rants of how the penis is to blame for all your problemsand how she should turn to the pussy because it doesn’t break you down…all while feeding Lohan lines of cocaine…and cashing in on her vulnerability when her peer pressure actually leads to lickin’ Lohan pussy.

I think the highlight of these pictures is how Ronson puts her cigarette in her lesbian hat, like she can’t keep it in a pack in her pocket like the rest of the world, she’s gotta go to the next step towards lesbianism where she feels like a fuckin’ construction worker while she pulls it out from the back of her ear and into her mouth as a group of hot girls walk by and they whistle and cat-call while grabbing their balls.

Posted in:Lesbian|Lindsay Lohan|Sex

2008

21

Apr

Pink Red Bikini Jog of the Day

I got a Lesbian show at the strip club with my friend’s money this past weekend. The girls were fuckin’ bitches and money hungry because all these Americans came in with all their money for the UFC fight I didn’t go to and it turns out that American’s don’t have stripclubs quite like these stripclubs. The bitch wanted 40 dollars a song or a half hour for 400 dollars that ends with one of them squirting. I got into a debate about how squirting is a myth and whenever a girl actually squirts she’s really just pissing, so if I wanted to watch a girl piss, I’d just follow a homeless chick around. They told me that it wasn’t piss, and asked if the room smelled like piss, because she had just squirted all over the place and I told them that I didn’t know if it smelled like piss but it definitely smelled bad. They whispered something in French about how I was some kind of asshole who wasn’t going to pay them as much as the last guys tipped them, which was true because after they put on a staged dyke show, licked each others assholes and made me feel awkward because it was so bad and they wanted me to be so into it but I couldn’t perform, something I am used to, I ended it at one song because for another 40 dollars I could buy a couple more drinks that would give me more pleasure.

Lookin’ at Pink jogging in a bikini makes me wonder whether her lesbian sex is as bad as the stripper lesbian sex I saw, or whether she’s actually got a clit and by clit I mean dick big enough to penetrate her partner because without penetration, you’ve pretty much just got foreplay and there’s nothing exciting about that.

Posted in:Jog|Pink|Red Bikini

2008

21

Apr

Geri Spice Riding a Bike of the Day

Here are some pictures of Geri Spice looking like a 7 year old on a bike ride with her dad and figured some of you would be into that. It sure beats hanging out outside the park and potentially getting arrested…doesn’t it? You sick fuck.

It’s Summer and all these French sluts are out trying to get healthy to balance out their cocaine snorting, hard drinking, chain smoking and bad eating that leaves their faces about 10 years older than they actually are. Some of them are out on their bikes getting the fucking way while wearing their spandex and sports bras, other girls are out jogging wearing their spandex and sports bras and that’s when I decided that working out in public should be banned for hot chicks. That shit is like watching a fuckin’ porno and I think less rapes would go down if they didn’t let hot chicks into gyms or out in public in spandex. Don’t get me wrong, I love the shit, but that’s all part of the problem. The state should issue treadmills to hot girls to work out at home, while leaving gyms for fat sluts no one wants to fuck because it would make the world a better place and maybe if the hot chicks in Spandex stop making an appearance, so will the fat dudes who think it’s cool to wear bike shorts will disappear too.

Posted in:Ass|Bike|Geri Halliwell

2008

21

Apr

Michelle Trachtenberg’s Jew Kiss of Death for Passover of the Day

Comments Off on Michelle Trachtenberg’s Jew Kiss of Death for Passover of the Day

Here are some pictures of Michelle Trachtenberg making out with some Gossip Girl motherfucker. I figured this would upset some of you Buffy fans who still masturbate to Buffy reruns and have her pictures printed up and put into a scrapbook you keep under your bed. It’s really just a numbers game since Buffy was designed for losers and so was the Internet and since I have a website and you are reading it, then you are a loser too, possibly one whole liked Buffy.

The good news is that it’s passover and Jews aren’t allowed to eat yeast so no one will be lickin’ your favorite pussy for the next week so you can be happy that this kiss doesn’t lead to her promised land, but at the same time, realize that she’s getting paid to make out with some dude, which to me is total prostitution. I wonder what Moses would have to say about this…..

Yes, I am capable of making really bad jokes.

Posted in:Jew|Kiss|Michelle Trachtenberg