DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

Sara Sampaio Shows Off her Pussy in Tight Pants Under the Guise that it is a Fitness Video of the Day

Industry Flesh Puppet Jessica Alba Propagandizes for the Machine of the Day

Sydney Sweeney is Glamour’s Woman of the Year of the Day

Paige Spiranac Feeling Herself Up of the Day

Margaret Qualley is Hot for an Ugly Chick of the Day

2008

May

stepLINKS of the Day

5 Comments »

I feel like tele-survey people don’t really care about me – they call me all friendly like we’re going to end up having phone sex but then they ask me some qualifying questions, like how old I am and when I say I am under 18 and they just hang up on me because I am no use to them, despite being the one who let them into my home by answering the phone. It’s all painful.

If you’re wondering why I posted this stepLINKS header…IT’s cuz 50 Cent get’s all the bitches.

Here are my links:

Some Hot Naked Chicks Posing With Sneakers
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Britney is Almost Looking Hot Again. Almost
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Megan Fox Looks Hot For a Murdering Cheerleader Slut
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Newscaster Has a Funny Slip of the Tounge!
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Daisy Fuentes is Topless On Vacation….15 Years Too Late….
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Khloe Kardashian’s Dirty Whore Panty Upskirt
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Some Sluts From Vegas in Their Bikinis!
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The Top 10 Funniest Diarrhea Moments
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Nadine Velazquez Gallery
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Load Music from Your iPod into Your PsP
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Web Sluts May Make Your Life Worth Living, Because Your Life Pretty Much Sucks Ass and So Do They If You Ask Them To.
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A Launch to the Moon!
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Girls and Cars, Both of Which You Will Never Be Able to Afford
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Marisa Miller and Jessica Van Der Steen Photoshoot
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Find Girls to Fuck Today, Lose Your Virginity Tomorrow
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Stacy Keibler’s Hot Tits Are in a Green Dress
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Mariah Carey is on the Cover of Vibe in a Bikini
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A Bunch of Celeb Whores at Some Bullshit Event for the Kentucky Derby
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Vanessa Hudgens Lookin’ Bangable is some Ad for Some Fashion Shit I Don’t Care About, and Neither Do You
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George Clooney and His Golddigger Girlfriend Do Rich People Stuff
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Here’s Some Porn Reviews
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Rima Burke is an Ugly, Dancing Midget from Big Brother Down Under
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Finding Sex is Easier Than You Think If You Use This….
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Brad and Angelina are Getting Married on Paul Allen From Microsoft’s Yacht
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Some Hot USC Beach Volleyball Girl Named Jessica Gysin in Action
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Hot Alessandra Ambrosio For Arena Magazine Pics
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Some Hot Italian Big Brother Chick Posing and Lookin’ Hot
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My New Fetish – Brides in Their Underwear
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Iron Man’s Post Credit Clip that Is a Preview To The Sequel
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Jamie Lynn Spears Baby Shower Pics
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50 Memorable Pin Ups
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Monica Makes Me Hungry for Hungary
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My Kind of Charity Sluts….
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Record Breaking Dildo Fuck
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The Perfect Fuck
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Raven Simone Blew Up, and I Don’t Mean That in a cool Way Like When Black People Say It, I Mean She Got Fat
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Sexist Board Games
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Breast Pudding From Japan
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Emma Rigby is a Hot Big Breasted British Soap Star With Hot Cleavage
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Samantha is Naked For the First Time
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4 Naked Chicks Dancing Together in the Garden
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Strip Vacuuming
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Some Hot Amateur Strip Down!
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ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS:

Some Young Hip Hop Troll Gets Naked
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Some Girl With Really Big Fake TIts Gets Fucked Up the Ass Video and Poses in Pictures
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Some Tits and Some Bush
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Some Fat Girl Shows Off her Tits
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A Girl and Her Big Boobs and Vagina
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Not From Rogue Collector but From Photobucket – Some Black Dude in Some Gay Poses
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Some Girl and Her Vagina
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Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

May

From the Forum of the Day

1 Comment »

I am thinking about writing a children’s book called “Abortion: What Mommy Should Have Done Had She Known What a Total Pain in the Ass You Were Going to Be”, but I can’t seem to find a publisher interested, so I guess I am forced to take it to the forum and you should too because here’s a taste of what’s going on there.

If you’re wondering what this picture is of, it’s one of our Forum member’s wife working out with her pants off.

———Music———

The Roots – Rising Down
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GURU – Jazzmatazz
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Of Montreal – Bedside Drama
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Death Cab for Cutie – Narrow Stairs
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Bajofondo – Tango Club
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The Arcade Fire – Slef-titled Ep
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The Breeders – Mountain Battles
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Mars Ill – Breakanomics
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Flogging Molly – Float
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Testament – Practice What You Preach
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Tom Petty – Playback
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Eve- Scorpion
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———Comedy Albums———

Chris Rock – Bigger and Blacker
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Bill Hicks – Flying Saucer Tour
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Lewis Black – Red White and Screwed
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George Carlin — Take offs and put ons
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———Porn———

Having A Field Day Feeling Herself
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Random Hotties
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Beach Nudeness
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Fruits and Veggies (warning – click at your own risk)
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———Pics———

Dirty Computers
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Scene Chicks
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———E-books———

More Cookbooks
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———Software———

Ultimate Troubleshooter
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iBizCard
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Quake II
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———Celebs———

Sammie Pennington Topless
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Maggie Gyllenhall Pics
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Melyssa Ford gots a big ass
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More Melyssa Ford
http://www.drunkenstepfather.com/forum/showthread.php?p=29235#post29235″ target=”_blank”> GO

———Sex Talk———

Sluttiest Thing You Have Done?
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———Video———

TOm Hanks Made a Video about Barack Obama
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Posted in:Forum

2008

May

Amy Winehouse is a Monster in a Bra of the Day

10 Comments »

The thing that turns me on about Amy Winehouse is that she reminds me of some kind of droopy faced troll who has escaped from the Freak Show, ripped off her Freak Show shackles and Freak Show costume and is scavenging for food at some picnic spot scaring people into feeding the monster for fear of what she’s going to do to them. It’s like this bitch is so into what she’s doing that things like hygiene, clothes and fitting into the mold of society just doesn’t matter to her. She beats to her own drum and probably smells like fuckin’ death and nothing turns me on more than someone who just isn’t afraid to be herself.

Posted in:Amy Winehouse|Bra

2008

May

Karina Pasian Is 16 and Def Jam’s Next Big Thing of the Day

4 Comments »

I was sent this video over the weekend and read the caption that this girl is Def Jam’s new meal ticket. She’s 16, sings in 7 languages and plays the Piano. So I decided to listen to the song which is her repeatedly saying that she’s 16 over and over again and it reminds me of this girl I once got with who looked like she was at least 18 and after getting in her pants she told me she was 16 and shit echoed in my head for the month before finding out she got her period and I wasn’t going to be a teenage pregnancy baby daddy.

Either way, watch the new it girl, I think she’s too ripe to want look at sexually, and her song sucks, but then again what do I know about pretty much anything.

Posted in:Def Jam|Karina Pasian

2008

May

Fergie Ass Performing of the Day

4 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Fergie performing with her big ass. I kinda miss the crystal meth days when she was picking her scabs off her arms and eating them in hopes of getting a fix and crawling through the gutter collecting cans to take back to the grocery store for money for her next fix. It’s one of those success stories where you go to the people from the past and say “look at me now motherfuckers” as she cruises by in her Bentley, only in this case everyone from her past is dead because meth is just that good.

Posted in:Ass|Fergie

2008

May

Jennifer Aniston’s Bikini Pictures of the Day

2 Comments »

I guess Jennifer Aniston is trying to deal with failed relationships and the whole biological clock tickin’ shit by spending all her time on the beach in the sun while fucking John Mayer when he’s not too busy to fuck her, with what I hope is with a vasectomy dick, despite celebrities not being into the whole safe sex concept, because this bitch is hungry for babies. She’s the kind of girl who you have to bring your own condom for fear that she poked a hole in the shit and you have to either flush that fucker down the toilet or tie it up and stick it in your pocket because the second you pass out you know she’s got it flipped inside out in attempts to knock herself up. She’s the kind of girl who stopped taking the pill by conveniently doesn’t tell you and begs for you to cum inside her instead of on her tits like she normally wants which sets off alarms in your head that you don’t listen too because you’re about to bust inside Jennifer Aniston depsite how boring she looks in a bikini she’s still worth the fuck and if you’re someone like me, she’s worth knocking up because she’s probably a lot less annoying than my wife and has a lot more money and I think knocking her up is a fair trade off for a better lifestyle. I’m a whore like that.

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Jennifer Aniston

2008

May

Pink and Bai Ling Are Friends in Bikinis of the Day

No Comments »

It’s always so exciting when you find out that two celebrities your don’t give a fuck about are friends or lovers. What is more exciting is when you try to figure out exactly how they met each other and make a game out of it with your friends because you are a fuckin’ loser with nothing better to do with your time than worry about this menial bullshit. It’s like – was it backstage at one of Pink’s concerts because Bai Ling has always been a fan of Pink’s music because it really speaks to her even though she doesn’t understand any of the words or maybe it was at a red carpet event where Bai Ling’s nipple was hanging out of her shirt and Pink just needed to suck the fuckin’ thing because it reminded her of her over-sized erect clit that was piercing through her leather pants. I like to think both have the same shitty tattoo artist and are members of the shitty tattoo club, but have a feeling that that club doesn’t really exist because people with shitty tattoos usually love their shitty tattoos and think they are amazing, despite being shitty.

Either way, we know after they sea kayaking, these bitches are going back to Pink’s house, to play with each other’s pink, which in Bai Ling’s case my not be entirely Pink and in Pink’s case may in fact be a penis.

BONUS That’s Not Really a Bonus – Here’s some more pictures of Bai Ling Feeling Herself Up and Showing Some Tit on the Set of the Crank Dat Soulja Boy 2….I take Offense to the Last Picture.

Posted in:Bai Ling|Bikinis|Pink

2008

May

Mischa Barton’s Got a Whole Lot of Cellulite of the Day

4 Comments »

I am on a 3 day hangover and these pictures of Mischa Barton’s disgusting legs and ass aren’t really helping me get over it. The truth is that I am good friend of cellulite because every girl I’ve banged has had some. It’s kinda what you sign-up for when you have no standards and fuck fat chicks, whether obese or just bottom heavy they always seem to be packing enough pounds to be cottage cheesy, so hating on cellulite would pretty much equate to hating chicks, and I’m not homo here.

What I do think is that Mischa is too skinny and young to have this going on. She’s some kind of slim fat, and the second you get her naked she looks like he’s been horribly burnt in some childhood fire and they just couldn’t get the skin graft done proper so the rest of her life her ass and legs will just be damaged skin just hanging off her like a bad fitting pair of pants, because it’s really the only thing that would make sense of this mess in her pants.

Posted in:Cellulite|Mischa Barton

2008

May

From the Forum of the Day

8 Comments »

It turns out that the stepFORUM is addictive and ruins marriages.

A reader sent me this letter that his wife wrote him about how he’s let himself go and this site got a shout out in it. Glad to know that I am ruining people’s sex lives, it’s pretty fuckin’ legendary. Read the letter if you’re interested.

Where do I begin? We hooked up years ago. I actually thought your friend was cuter, but we kept running into each other and knew mutual friends and as you guessed it we hooked up. I wasn’t thinking right. You were cute, bad, daring, good in bed, made cute kids, cleaned the house, and it was more than I ever thought I wanted.

You got older. After going through your asshole guy stage and quitting drinking you seem to have lost your edge. I don’t miss the drinking mind you. Basically you started to drink and forgot to tell me which caused us lots of problems (because I don’t always follow the beat of your drum, but we’ll get to that later). But I liked you as an asshole in a way. Every good girl wants their bad boy and you fit the bill. As bad as you were, you were smart and could easily seduce me. Like when you would offer to go down, free of charge. I fell for that for years, and you know you always got laid afterwards. Or the small fact you used to care about showering, wearing clean clothes, and warming me up before an all-nighter. I wouldn’t be in the mood and you would wave your magic man stick and *boom* I was yours.

So back to losing our edge. You got lazy. You decided no big deal to skip showers or brushing your teeth. Like this morning, you want some. I can read it all over your face you have a purpose in life – to get laid. So you come up and put your arm around me (fine), but then I get a fucking whiff. That stench. The unmistakable smell of that nasty shit you spray on before you got to work along with a different equally rank deodorant. The two are enough to scare deer away from your van as you drive to work. I hate that shit, and goddammit you bought it without consoling me (and my sensitive nose). So on top of that – aroma – I can smell fucking armpit axle grease sweat balls stench. I really want to puke. That is sooooo not hot.

WTF??

So I ask, where did you get this shirt? You were naked in bed and I assumed when you got dressed you pulled something from somewhere *clean,* right? Oh, its my work shirt – FROM THURSDAY. Mind you, its fucking Saturday. So I ban you from my presence until you come to your senses. Then you come back, in different clothes. I am playing online, ignoring you. So you still want some. I can tell again, it just permeates from that brain in your penis. Instead of coming up, sweeping my hair back, kissing my neck, telling me I’m ________, you decide to take your boner and rub in on my back/ass (I am laying on the floor playing on the computer, get the picture).

Seriously, WTF? Have you lost your mind? No foreplay. No kissing (even one hot kiss would do the trick). No tit play. I’m just NOT, I repeat, NOT buying into your “game” or whatever the fuck you think you have going on. A boner bumping my clothed ass cheeks while I play online does, let’s see . . . NOTHING, zip, nada, just if anything *pisses* me off.

I hate you.

Then there are your brothers. All five of those half-fuckers. Three never call unless they want something. You wonder why I can’t be nice to them?? I hate users, losers, and abusers of people that have shit when they don’t. Then there is your other brother who can’t get a life or much of anything together. At 27, he should have a women, or a barrage of different women, his own place, a baby’s momma, something????? But no, he lives with his grandparents. Sure he drives a nice car, but it’s not for the women. Know why? He hasn’t had a girlfriend since he was 19. Sure I have heard stories of drunken encounters and countless girls who liked you and you really, really fucked it up (like getting drunk and puking/pissing on them). But come the fuck ON – grow some balls and pick up someone, anyone, and get a fucking life. I’m starting to think you are gay.

Then there is #5. He is the nastiest person alive. He claims to shower, but I beg to differ, sir! If he bathes, it’s probably in Crisco and dog shit. The worst part is, he has a GIRLFRIEND and roommate that are equally as nasty as him. And no, I won’t go visit after hearing stories of dog shit smeared into their floor and urine on the couch because they are too lazy to take the fucker outside. But the absolute WORST part?? You let them come over and visit, for hours if I would let you. Long enough to make me wash the couch cover (twice!), febreeze the entire carpet and couch under the cover, light candles, spray air freshener, open all the windows, bug bomb the house, and feel paranoid that even after all that something survived and will be left to haunt me. I hate you, and your nasty girlfriend and roommate. And no, I can’t be nice so quit asking!!!

Then your obsession with boxing, UFC, and Final Fantasy and that Drunkenstepfather loser porn bullshit. It is all wrong, wrong, WRONG! Yes, I am the one that deletes “your” fights off the TiVo No I don’t care who won or how they did it. I didn’t get HBO and Showtime for you to ruin every Saturday night recording your fights so you can play them back to your stupid ass friends every day for the next two weeks. I hate UFC. You can’t make me like it. They really look like they are humping each other and yes I will make fun of it verbally as you watch it because you won’t take it in the other room (I get the tv in the living room – not you!). I understand you hate my shows, but then why do I catch you watching them when I’m not looking. You don’t catch me watching your stupid fucking fights do ya? And by the way, it does not impress me that you are a level 75 beastmaster. My nipples don’t get hard at the sound of you bragging about your dumb ass games, k??? And by the way, if you shut that shit off at night and went to bed with me – you would probably most likely, I would say 97% of the time get some!!!! But no!!!! You really expect me to get rug burn fucking you on the floor as you watch boxing and play the Xbox. Eat shit and die.

I used to love you, but now I hate you.

Love,

Your pissed off, sexually frustrated wife

Now here’s some stuff going on in the stepFORUM

That’s Not the Way You Use a Pepsi Can
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Bubba Sparxxx
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Blackalicious
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Canibus
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Paul Simon
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More E-Books
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Let’s Get Personal
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Amateur Paige?
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UNKLE Thread
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Rumer Willis is a Beautiful Person and You Aren’t.
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Isabella Soprano
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Obscure 90’s Hip Hop
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Pauline James Thread
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Funkdoobiest
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The mydarlingclementine Dilemma Continues…
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I thought this deserved to be on this site…
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Teen Busted Suck

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Blowjob Lessons
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Do You Like Small Tits?
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Beautiful blonde amateur, screwed and facial!!!
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Amateur Porn : Teen Emma (Germany)
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Gravity Kills
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Post Your Filth Here
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Christina Model Thread
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Upcoming Election
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Hottest Female Legs Search
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Bowling for Soup
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Jessica Jaymes Thread
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Rachel Roxx – Big Mouthfuls
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Del tha Funky Homosapian
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Audrey Bitoni Thread
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Stones Throw
GO

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

May

stepLINKS of the Day

4 Comments »

I got this email today:

Been looking on your site and saw that it said you have pics of 14 yr old gals, please please email me some thanks, keep up the good work

This was my response:

I do not have pictures of 14 year old girls and never said that I did. I am glad I have such wholesome fuckin’ readers, you are sick fuck and you did not get the job babysitting my stepdaughter.

With Love,
Jesus Martinez
Drunkenstepfather.com

The truth is I am just happy to have any readers, sick in the head or not, I am non-judgemental but in the meantime here are my links:

Funny Bud Beer Lime Commercial….For Cinco de Mayo…Cuz Mexicans Love Limes…I guess..
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Playboy Gets Olive Garden Chicks Naked
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Jenna Jameson Does Cocaine…..
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Kim Kardashian Assumes the Position
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Heidi Klum Giving The Finger
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Irina V is the Girl Next Door
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Make a Fire with Potatoes, Salt and Toothpaste
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Hot Asian Chicks Beat Down Some Dude
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More Real Girls Being Sluts
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Penny Cruz and Charlize Theron Make Out
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Heidi Klum and Her Helmut Hair Hang Out at Bloomingdale’s
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Alessandro Ambrosio is the First Pregnant Hot Chick Ever
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Nick Cannon is the Smartest Guy on the Planet – Regifting and No Prenups Means Good Business….
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Ugly Betty Pickin’ her Nose….
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Gwyenth Paltrow is Looking Good Lately
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Gary Coleman Divorce Court!!
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Maria Menounos Like to Play Beach Volley Ball
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Find Girls to Fuck, Because It’s Not Really Sex When You Do it Alone
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Barbara Walter’s is a HO!
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Amy Reid’s Big Tits Are Natural
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Now THAT’s Love When a Girl Pukes on a Guy
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Emo Fags I’m Sure You Can Relate To
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Paris Hilton Spreads Her Diseases to All Walks of Life
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Asian Babe with Huge Jugs
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Becky Newton is Bending Over
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Yoko Matsugane Tits are MASSIVE!
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Miranda Kerr’s Cleavage is Down Under!
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Joss Stone and Cat Deeley are friendly Lesbians…
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Safe to Say He Loves the Ladies…
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Barack O’Basketball
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All, I Admit It. Nike has Amused Me
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Sammie Pennington is British and Topless
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Top 10 Paparazzi Attack Moments…
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More of Cheerleader Angelica Carrera Slutty Pics
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Beyonce is Pregnant
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Top 10 Jiggling Tit VIdeos of All Time
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Lohan’s Mugshot in Ad by a Pro-Drinking and Driving Group:
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The Art of Selling Naked – 10 Stunning Playboy Ads
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Sammie Penington Topless
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How to Smuggle Booze into The Kentucky Derby
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Some Penelope Cruz Bathing Suit Action…
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Be Sure to Brush Your Teeth Twice a Day and By Teeth I Mean Pussy
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Some Dude Scares The Fuck Out Of His Aunt and It’s Pretty Amazing
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Hot Brazilian Ass in an Ad
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Some Intense Justice Video Because Justice is the Mainstream
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This Slut Could Be Your Daughter
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More of Lily Allen’s Birthday – This Time With Cake
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Megan Fox is Hot But Banned
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Use This to Find Some Sex This Weekend. With a Chick
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ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS

Some Girl in Funny Lingerie
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A Mix of Smut
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Some Slut Named Sexy Lil Dancer – Showing Off Her Body
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Some Photoshoot of a Topless Bitch By the Beach
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SOME WEEKEND HOTNESS

Shawna Lenee is a Hot Blonde Slut and She’s Naked
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Some Really Big Boobs in the Shower
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Some College Party Sex Video
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Some Really Weird Sex on an ATV Quad
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Funny Porn Bloopers Compilation
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Some Latina’s Self Shot Slutty Pic
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Some Asian Girl’s Webcam Strip Video
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Some Amateur Girl Masturbating
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Some Young Asian Self Shot Amateur Pics
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Ashlynn Brooke in Some Posed Nakedness
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Her Name is Karine and She’s Naked with a Whip
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Lesbian Cop Video
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Her Name is KayLynn and He Shows off How Big and Dirty Her Tongue Is…
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Some Girl Fuck’s a Corona Bottle of Cinco de Mayo
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Some Pierced Girl Has Sex With a Lollipop
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Some Chick in Crotchless Panties
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Naked Girl Shops in Japan!!
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Some Hot Naked Amateur Chick
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Find the Best Porn You Will Need for Your Pathetic Weekend
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Posted in:Uncategorized