I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

27

Mar

Jessica Simpson Kinda had an Upskirt that You Can’t See of the Day

I don’t know how old these pictures are, or if they are even of Jessica Simpson, but it looks like she’s trying to stop all of us from seeing her vagina and I am sure that’s nothing you aren’t already used to because even when you’re at sex parties and bitches are wiping out on GHB, you still can’t manage to get a peak because you aren’t really there since the invitation was lost in the mail, at least that’s what you tell yourself to make you feel better about never getting to join in on the fun everyone else is having. Don’t worry, the last time I went to an orgy, I got herpes and despite it being the gift that keeps on giving, it’s pretty much the shittiest gift that keeps on giving, worse than that pair of socks your Aunt knitted you that you can’t seem to take off because they are so colorful and scream your name every time you open your sock drawer.

I don’t know what I am talking about because I have never really been giving a shitty gift, but that’s because no one’s ever given me any gifts, so I’m trying to relate to something I don’t know here and you should give me a break.

Posted in:Jessica Simpson|Upskirt

2008

27

Mar

Janice Dickinson Stores her Phone in Her Tits of the Day

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

Breasts, like my ass, are a great place to store things. I know girls who put their make-up, phones, drugs, condoms, money, perfume and worldly possessions in their bra and it always makes feeling them up feel a lot like Christmas or some kind of magical treasure hunt, but not as magical as the treasure hunt I have to go through every time my wife wants me to diddle her and I have to maneuver my way through her fat to the source of her junk or even when I leave my keys or something I need on the bed and it gets sucked up into her fat folds as she sloth’s out on it….I guess that’s part of what makes my marriage fun.

Either way, here are some pictures of Janice Dickinson getting a manicure with her cellphone jacked in her tits so she doesn’t miss any important calls from people asking her who the fuck she is because let’s face it, she’s not all that famous, but shit should be jacked in between her legs and set on vibrate because that’s pretty much the main reason the pervert who behind the vibrate ringtone invented it. While laying in bed alone at night with his “How Things Work” manual, he had dreams of walking down the street and seeing girls moaning with pleasure all because of his manly technical knowledge, giving every girl who ever rejected him an orgasm without them knowing it and that shit was his way of playing god. True Story.

Big Bad Paparazzi Made Me Take Down the Pics But You Can See It Here
GO

Posted in:Cellphone|Janice Dickinson|Tits

2008

27

Mar

Hayden Panettiere has a Lame Cameltoe of the Day

I always love when girls wear vagina hugging pants because it gives me enough information to visualize what they look like naked. I know that the chances of them ever showing me their goods are pretty fuckin’ slim, especially since they are young and hot and sitting across from me at the coffee shop, often times telling their boyfriends how some creepy old guy keeps lookin’ at them and it’s making them uncomfortable.

Since Hayden pretty much has as much has the same body type and sex appeal as the dresser I pulled out of the trash last year to help store my wife’s disgusting clothes that I was tired of seeing in piles throughout our room, since I am quite the homemaker, the only reason I’d want to see anything hugging her crotch is to see if she’s got a bigger dick than me, which she does. That’s pretty much the reason I’ve never done any gang bangs in my life, I just know I’d always fall short and wouldn’t be able to live with myself being that inadequate….I’d volunteer to box Panettiere to prove that despite having a smaller dick I am still all man, but I know she’d win. So it’s pretty much a losing day for a loser today.

Posted in:Boring|Cameltoe|Hayden Panettiere

2008

27

Mar

Britney Spears Upskirt for her Dentist of the Day

The shocking news of the day is that Britney Spears goes to the dentist. I was never really disgusted by her hygiene because I know that a woman with that kind of money can’t have a pussy as rank as some of the hookers I’ve hung out with. I am talking the kind I could smell just sitting next to them on the bus on my way home with them, because I’ve never owned a car and have to get them somewhere private somehow and cabs are just out of my budget, especially when I am saving all my pennies to get the most I can get out of them, like ideally having them let me go down on them and other naughty things that leave me smelling like their rank pussies for a couple of days because like Britney, I’m not too into showering and like revisiting my purchase as much as I can because I like getting my money’s worth out of anything.

Unlike me, Britney hit up the dentist today because I am more into seeing how much laziness leads to tooth loss, and she flashed her panties while doin’ it. These are the pics.

Posted in:Britney Spears|Dentist|Upskirt

2008

27

Mar

Disney Advertises on Smut Sites of the Day

The most wholesome family corporation fucks up again. First, Walt Disney was caught molesting kids after taking them to his magic kingdom and showing them special cartoons he drew for them on his penis, true story my grandmother told me he did it to her. Then they made Nazi propaganda videos for Hitler to help kill the jews who were stepping on Disney’s Waspy toes in Hollywoo. Then they were accused of subliminal messages in they movies trying to program kids to hate black people and gays and now they advertise next to porn.

I was scoping out some celebrity smut site that pretty much only posts celebrity nudity, sex tapes, nipple slips and upskirts next to some seriously desperate, virginal commentary and I was pretty shocked to see Goofy staring back at me.

I guess the real reason why I am posting this is because I think my site is more softcore than the smut other sites post, I think it is less offensive but I am red flagged as a porn site and can never land a mainstream deal, like alcohol companies, movie companies, video game companies, so I will never make big money off this shit. Meanwhile, assholes doing the same fuckin’ thing as me but with less finesse according to me and who give the illusion of being SFW by putting stars on a dick and nipple and cunt but still post the dirty version a click away, so that you see full dick are getting these Disney Deals.

Sure what it really comes down to is that I am bad at business, and I don’t really know what I am doing. So good for this site for tricking this system and cashing in on it, but I still think someone at Disney should get fired because seeing their image next to smut is something that I know I find offensive. I am pretty sure their Christian, right winged loyal Disney fans, the kind of bitch who lives alone and collects Mickey Mouse merchandise, wouldn’t approve of.

The reality is that this smut angle could be Disney’s new way of re-inventing themselves. You know first they get Jamie Lynn spears teenage pregnant and now they post next to celebrity nudity, next thing you know they’ll be producing sex tapes, which would make sense since it worked for Paris. I guess this is a glimpse into the future of the world…it will be a debauchery HIV filled mess,because you know when Disney sponsors sex tape sites, the end of the future of our kids is near and I am excited….

Here are some screenshots of this highly offensive Disney campaign:

Posted in:Disney|Porn

2008

26

Mar

stepLINKS of the Day

My internet girlfriend at ImNotObsessed was interviewed on CBS News and when they asked her who her internet friends are she claims to have dropped my name and website – so that means that I may have been mentioned on the news and that gives me a boner, but not as big of a boner as my internet girlfriend at ImNotObsessed. I can’t wait for the day to ruin her marriage and stepdad her kids.

Here are my links.

La Pequena Does Hilary Clinton
GO

Insane Implants on this Party Slut
GO

Dream Phone! The Unstable Ex-Boyfriend Edition!
GO

THE SEXIEST VEGETARIANS
GO

Girls Are Better With Their Shirts OFF, But I’m Not Too Picky to Not Look at These Whores
GO

Coolio Wants to Show You How to Molest and Deep Fry a Turkey
GO

Help That Porn Collection of Yours Get a Little Bit Bigger
GO

Tom Cruise and the Evil Lord Xenu Are Killing Katie Holmes
GO

Danica Patrick Has Some Tiny Pokies
GO

Lose Your Virginity TODAY!
GO

This is Probably The Best Episode of The Hills Ever
GO

Let’s Make Flava Flav Look More Stupid Then He Already Does
GO

Brooke Paller = Very Nice
GO

Find Sex Faster Then You Can Whack Off. That is fucking FAST!
GO

Kevin Federline Thinks He is Father of the Year
GO

Richie Sambora Fell Off the Wagon Again
GO

Miley Cyrus is Jail Bail, But You’re a Sick Fuck Who is Into That Kind of Thing
GO

There’s Gonna Be a Catfight on the Set of Ushers New Video
GO

Fuck Up Your Friends Verizon Phone, Because That’s What Friends are For
GO

Give Your Hand a Break, and Use This to Get Laid Instead
GO

The Paparazzi’s Have Ditched Shitney and Have a New Target
GO

Carla Bruni’s Nude Pics are On Auction
GO

Amy Winehouse is Going to Rehab Again. I am shocked. SHOCKED!
GO

Carla Bruni is Pretty Fuckin’ Naked in These Pics
GO

Jamie Lynn Spears in Her Pregnancy Varsity Teen Short Shorts
GO

Get Yourself a Paternity Test To Prove Your Wife is a Slut
GO

Here is a Slutty College Girl For You
GO

Paula Abdul’s Gloves are Out of Control
GO

Heidi Montag Does a Look a Like Contest….Too Bad Everyone Who Looks Like Her Has Already Killed Themselves…Let’s Hope She’s Next
GO

An Old Scarlett Johansson Nip Slip
GO

Gemma Atkinson’s Tits in Loaded Magazine
GO

Are You in a Bromance or is it just a Man Crush
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

The Mega Nipple Slip Compilation
GO

The Funplex is the LoveShack When It Gets Old and Washed Up
GO

Who is Hotter Spanish Girls or Portuguese
GO

Carry a Concealed Weapon, Because You Are a Loser Who Needs to Defend Himself
GO

Here’s Some Cheerleaders Wrestling, to End Your Day Off Right
GO

Because We All Have a Rough Night Now and Again
GO

The Japanede Can’t Show Pussy in Cartoons, but Are Free to Seel Girls Underwear out of Machines. I Don’t Get It.
GO

Some Cindy Crawford Bikini Action
GO

Makin’ Mommy and Daddy Proud!
GO

Victoria Beckham Looks More Like The Terminator Everyday
GO

Ryan Phillipe is a Fucking Cry Baby
GO

Some Hot Bitch From Some Country I Don’t Know Of
GO

I Don’t Understand the Whole Diaper Fetish Thing
GO

Jana Jordan Needs Some Ventilation
GO

Here’s a Photoshopped Picture of Britney that Almost Makes Her Look Normal. Almost
GO

If Less Attractive Men Make for Happier Marriages, Then I Must Be Don Juan
GO

A Hommage to Quentin Tarantino
GO

Flame Thrower Jamboree!
GO

The Hogans Are All Going to Jail Forever
GO

Natalie Werberuna Has a Fine, Fine Ass
GO

From Photobucket

Some Asian Naked in the Shower
GO

Some Young Girl Shows Off her Chubby Tits
GO

Some Girl Gets Naked and Poses For Her Boyfriend and You…
GO

Some Twisted Genital Weirdness
GO

Photobucket Porn
GO

Some Girl Flashin’ Her Junk
GO

Big Fat Photobucket Tits
GO

FROM THE FORUM

G-Love and Special Sauce
GO

More Public Enemy
GO

Let’s Get This Guy To Post Nudes of His Ex!
GO

Girls with Guns
GO

A Little Bit of Evan Angel
GO

What Could You NOT Do With Her?
GO

Underwear!! Whats YOUR Choice?
GO

Learn How Pregnancy Happens First Hand, and Then Throw Up Afterwards
GO

Boston
GO

Shine a Light OST – Rolling Stones
GO

New B-52’s Album – Funplex
GO

Thelonious Monk – Monk’s Dream
GO

Nujabes – Still Talking to You
GO

Diplo – Florida
GO

FabricLive 24 – Diplo
GO

Nada Surf – Hi/Low
GO

Jesus is My Homeboy
GO

Zarhn Feels Herself
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

26

Mar

Girls Aloud Chocolate Upskirt of the Day

I always feel like a virgin loser whenever I post pictures of some celebrity panty shot. It reminds me of some desperate loser sitting at home waiting for the bitch he obsesses about to slip up to give him more material to masturbate to because he’s pretty much exhausted all other material that’s come out of her. I tell myself that I do it for you fuckers because I think you’re that kind of guy, but reality is that I do it because I am lazy.

The good news is that you’re lazy too because if you were a creepy pervert, which you are, you’d go outside and hang out at the bottom of escalators at malls, or under tables at coffee shops or anywhere else you can get a glimpse of a girl’s underwear but you just can’t seem to bring yourself to get out of your pajamas because the world is a scary place…

Either way, Kit Kat is officially a bunch of porn peddlers who promote their product by posing it next to some UK popstar’s vagina in suggestive ways and all you good Christians should write that curt emails about how offended you are.

Posted in:Girls Aloud|Panty|Upskirt

2008

26

Mar

Jodie Foster on the Beach of the Day

I figure why wait for the hot pussy to hit the beach in their skimpy bikinis when you can have all the Jodie Foster you want. Bitch isn’t hot, she isn’t young, and her idea of a skimpy bikini is the beach equivalent of a fuckin’ snowsuit. All bitch is missing is a pair of knee socks and a veil to go with her long sleeved shirt and shorts to make me really live out my fantasies of rockin’ out at a popular Muslim vacation spot. There’s nothing like parasailing or scuba diving or playing beach volleyball or even drinking a Bahama Mamma or Pina Colada with a slut who is scared of getting too much sun. Sometimes happiness comes from just having a nice conservative girl who can sit down and tell you about the last book she curled up alone in bed the previous night and read…in her flannels. I hear they give the best blowjobs, you know the whole good girl gone bad bullshit, which probably explains why she has a kid…because everyone know it takes a slut to make a slut.

Posted in:Beach|Jodie Foster|Slut

2008

26

Mar

Christina Ricci Breast Obituary of the Day

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

Christina Ricci looks like a cartoon character and I guess there’s nothing really wrong with that because we all grew up watching cartoons and it’s only natural that as we get older, and our bodies start changing, we turn that love for our favorite cartoons into something sexual. I guess that’s why all you weirdos get off to anime or cartoon erotica, which is something I will never understand but maybe it’s got something to do with having not being allowed to watch TV growing up, so I never got that same kinda passion for the shit that you do.

Either way, I was surfing the internet and came across an obituary to her tits, something that makes sense because she killed the fuckers for some stupid reason like trying to make herself look skinny, because let’s face it they weren’t even that big but anorexics are all confused when it comes to their body image. Here it is.

Christina Ricci’s Breasts
Murdered June 2, 2004

It comes with great sadness in our hearts to bring you the news of the death of Christina Ricci’s tits. There was nothing explicitly wrong with them, but due to vanity their life was prematurely ended. They will never have the chance to breast feed or sag and will always remembered by their role in such classic films as Opposite of Sex, Buffalo 66 and Pecker. Survived by a nation of perverts who are trying to get their hands on the breast tissue the doctors removed from her to staple on their wall next to their printed out and magazine cutout collection of Christina Ricci’s breasts.

They have brought so much love to our hearts and joy to our lives.

Memorial Donations may be made to Breast Cancer Research for women who want their breasts but have them rudely taken away and not because of the luxury of plastic surgery and vanity, but because of potentially fatal disease.

Here she is in a green dress.

Posted in:Christina Ricci|Obituary|Tits

2008

26

Mar

Megan Fox Hiding at the Airport of the Day

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

Looks like Megan Fox just found out that we all know she’s been having sex with Brian Austin Green of 90210 fame and she’s embarrassed and hiding. I guess whenever your dirty little secrets get out, it takes a little while to get over it because you know that despite the friendly faces and smiles people give you, they actually think you’re some kind of deranged sexual deviant. Kinda like that time your mom walked in on you jerking off to gay porn or the time you got arrested for kidnapping that girl, undressing her and lockin’ her in your basement for 24 hours before letting her go but keeping her panties as a souvenir leading to your big debut on the local news and on the cover of the local paper making your family, friends and colleagues really fuckin’ proud to know you.

The truth is that sacrificing a hot pussy to such a lame motherfucker is even worse than any of those things as far as embarrassment goes. Shit proves to the world that you either have no standards, no self respect, or some kind of twisted sexual appetite that involves losers. In reality, his dick murdered her sex appeal and he should be the one arrested, but unfortunately she let it happen and for that – she’s summoned to this walk of shame.

The good news is that like the time you got caught by your mom doing inappropriate things people are supposed to do themselves, it will blow over, because time heals but you know that every time she looks at you, she still shudders in shame…because I guess somethings just aren’t so easy to forget no matter how much drugs, booze, or time goes by. Brian Austin Green is one of those things but I’d still stuff this bitch like a thanksgiving turkey, but that’s only because I don’t have shit on Brian Austin Green, he’s actually cooler than I am and that is one of the many reasons I’ve contemplated suicide.

Posted in:Airport|Hiding|Megan Fox