I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

18

Mar

Cheryl Tweedy Cole’s Nipple Slip of the Day

Girls Aloud are a useless Spice Girls tribute act from the UK, in the event you didn’t already know, but I have a feeling your bedroom wall is plastered with posters you got out of your Teen Dream magazine subscription because you’re creepy like that. The only one really worth a round is Cheryl Tweedy Cole and she is out at some party having a useless nipple slip and her nipples are all taped up, the same kind of fashion tip the whole group should be using on their mouths every time they get on stage because lets face it, they just aren’t that good.

If they really wanted to sell more tickets and hit up a broader audience, they should consider changing their stage show to one with more masturbation and fucking on stage. Pop stars are hypocrites, they act all conservative and wholesome when doing their jobs performing on stage, but the second you let them out on their own, they’re flashing cunt, doing drugs and most importantly shooting sex tapes….I feel like all the candy-coated lies should stop and they should give the public more of what we expect out of them, because we all know they’re just a bunch of sluts who must have sucked some serious dick to get where they are today and I think we deserve to get in on it in exchange for buying their music….

BONUS: Sarah Harding and Nicola Roberts of Girls Aloud Dyking Out Because They Are a Team….a Drunk LesbianTeam….hopefully practicing for a brighter future….

Posted in:Cheryl Tweedy Cole|Nipple|Slip

2008

18

Mar

Kristin Davis Sex Tape of the Day

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

REMOVED IMAGES BECAUSE KRISTIN DAVIS HATES BLOGGERS AND THREATENS TO DESTROY OUR LIVES

In boring celebrities who aren’t really celebrities trying to get more media attention news, Kristin Davis from Sex in the City has a rumored sex tape being shopped around and these are the screen caps. Now I don’t even recognize my wife after she showers, so I am not the person to tell you whether these dick suckin’ shots are of Kristin Davis, but I figure since you have a thing for female celebrities, you’ll have no trouble busting out your geek software in your pants to figure this shit out. What I do know is that whoever is doing the dick suckin’ in these pictures is boring, I like bloody noses when I get head, but that’s usually because giving the bloody nose is the only way I can convince girls to get down like that. It’s called tough love motherfucker.

Click on the Box Shot Picture to See the Blowjob Pictures -Cuz I Don’t Post Dick On the Site…I’m Not Gay Enough For That….

REMOVED IMAGES BECAUSE KRISTiN DAVIS HAS ENOUGH MONEY TO RUIN MY LIFE

Posted in:Blow Job|Kristin Davis|Sex Tape

2008

18

Mar

Ivanka Trump and Her Expensive Cleavage of the Day

I met a poor chick who was so proud of her tits because she saved up all her money for so long to get them. She said that the first set cost her 8000 dollars and the upgrade was another 5000 dollars and that she had spent over 2 years saving for each. She insisted I fondle her tits to see how good they feel and because she wanted to break them in like a new pair of shoes. I feel like Ivanka Trump is a lot less generous with her purchases, mainly because she’s a rich kid and doesn’t understand that value of a dollar and the happiness that someone with no money has when they finally get something they want so badly.

Ivanka in her cleavage revealing dress, is like that rich kid you grew up with who always wanted you to go over but would never let you play with his Nintendo, you’d just sit there and watch the motherfucker and think to yourself how much of an asshole he was for showing the fuckin thing off but not letting you up in that like you wanted.

Posted in:cleavage|Ivanka Trump|Tits

2008

18

Mar

Milk Does a Teenage Body Good Anthem of the Day

Here’s some glam rock weirdness that makes no fuckin’ sense to me. I figured it’d be a good way to start the day because let’s face it we all need an anthem to start our day off and today this is mine, not because I like the song or the video but because it celebrates dairy and there’s nothing more important to me than milk. It is jacked with hormones that force girls to go through puberty years before they are supposed and is part of the reason 16 year old girls everywhere have big titties. Thanks Milk….Now, watch the video.

Posted in:Milk|Music Video|Twins|Weird

2008

17

Mar

stepLINKS of the Day

Some Girl wrote this in the comments:

all of u are gross…and whoever writes this website…u are such a disgusting asshole. your just mad cuz shes hotter then ur fat nasty wife apparently…and so wat if she has money. if u dont like it go and get a job and stop bitching. i hope ur wife knows wat a piece of shit u r.

And I decided to respond to her, this is what I wrote:

Stephanie, your cutting words gave me a boner, Do you want me to send you a picture or would you rather I mail you a sperm sample that you can use to knock yourself up. Even lesbians need babies too and I am here to help momma.

Love

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Here are my links:


Heather’s Mills Can Use Her Divorce Money to Buy a Fancy New Wooden Leg
GO

Australian Stunner Siobhan Parekh
GO

Mariana de Melo is Too Fucking Hot for You, Virgin
GO

Screen Shot from Kristen Davis’ Sex Tape
GO

A Collection of Girls Doing Stuff for the Camera, Because You Don’t Get to See Girls in Real Life
GO

Make a Shaving Cream Bomb and Cause Some Shit
GO

Angelina Jolie Takes Her Pregnant Tits for a Walk
GO

In the 1970s Even the Libraries in NYC Were Sleazy – Thanks Giuliani for Taking It All Away From Us
GO

Rod Stewart is a Dried Up Homo, Which Explains Why is Wife is hott for an Old Bitch
GO

Foot Fetish Me – I’m Irish – New Shot by Kern Interview With a Fetish Model
GO

These Are The Kind of Parties That Don’t let Losers Like You In
GO

More Broads You Will Never Have the Pleasure of Touching in Person
GO

The Way a REAL Mechanic Should Be
GO

The 50 Worst Movies of All Time
GO

Toccara Jones is Some Next Top Model and She’s Posing With Her Cleavage…
GO

Sam Cooke is A Very Dirty Dancer Video
GO

Isabeli Fontana is the Kind of Girl You Think About While You’re Mom Makes You Lunch
GO

Daryl Strawberry’s Son is a DJ and This is His Slutty Girlfriend
GO

The Madonna and Justin Timberlake Song for the Homos…
GO

Britney Spears is Hanging Out with Mel Gibson the Jew Hater
GO

Drew Barrymore Was a Lot More Fun When She was on Drugs and Flashed Her Tits All The Time
GO

Tom Cruise is Wrapping Up a Deal to Sign Will Smith for a Lifelong Contract to the Other Team
GO

Brad Pit and Angelina Jolie are Better than You
GO

Lohan Will Pretty Much Hang Out with Anyone, Except Me
GO

Somebody is Going to Get Fired for This Shit Right Here
GO

Porn Shoot Argument, Because Art Needs to Be Perfect
GO

Kelly Brooke is Naked on the Beach
GO

Some Amateur Awesome Boobies Up in Here
GO

Jamie-Lynn Puts it in the Hole Like Her Baby Daddy Did to Her
GO

Ashton Kutcher is a Robot, But He Fucks Demi Moore Every Night, So More Power To Him
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Raven Riley Wants to Celebrate St Patricks Day With You
GO

Use this to Find Girls to Fuck – Because Girls Make Sex More Fun
GO

Learn to Moonwalk So you Can Entice Young Boys to Your House
GO

I Will Never Look At Jumping Jacks The Same Way Againd
GO

Halle Berry Popped, Bring on the Nursing Tits!
GO

Lohan Spends Way too Much Money of Making Herself Look Dirty
GO

These Guys Made One of the Raddest Machines Ever
GO

Find The Best Porn on the Internet According to Me
GO

Harold and Kumar 2 Trailer
GO

Steve-O Trys for More Attention Since he is Barely Famous Anymore
GO

Leila Arcieri is Underworked, but in Her Underwear
GO

FROM THE FORUM

Some Irish Bands in Honor or Leprechans, Clovers and Beer
GO

Ghostbusters, The Video Game. Because Bustin’ Makes Me Feel Good!
GO

Some Crazy Previously Unseen Pics from Nick Hogans Car Crash
GO

Bust a Nut Without Busting a Nut
GO

What’s Your Limit in Terms of Sex Partners?
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

17

Mar

Pam Anderson’s Vagina Magic of the Day

Pam Anderson works for some magician in Vegas when she’s not too busy having sex, neglecting her kids, doing tons of cocaine, getting marriage annulments and whatever the fuck else a washed up whore who is only famous for her tits does with her time when her face can’t stay as young and fresh as the rest of her.

I guess the magic trick they are working on is the disappearing panty, or maybe the trick is the fact that her haggard vagina can still fit inside a pair of underwear, but barely because you can see some lip and not the ones injected with collagen, I’m talkin the ones injected with hepatitis cock. Enjoy.

Posted in:Magic|Pam Anderson|Panties|Vagina

2008

17

Mar

Tara Reid Does Spring Break in Cancun of the Day

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

Sure Tara Reid never went to college, but she played enough roles in movies as the all-american college girl, and that’s probably just as good of an education as American colleges offer. Reality is that half the population already think she’s some college graduate because they saw it happen on screen and to them that is reality because no one has ever taught them the difference between real or fake. This are the same people who are taping pictures of their favorite stars to their pocket pussies and bringing them home to meet their parents when their mom’s bug them enough to finally meet their girlfriends…..

Reality is that Tara Reid doesn’t need an education, she has more money than most people who work all their lives and she has the luxury of living the college party girl until she dies of alcohol poisoning at 40 and here she is in her early 30s rockin’ out in Cancun during Spring Break like she was 18. Sure she’s not flashing her tits, or eating pussy on stage like the other college girls but she’s a seasoned veteran there to offer support to the fresh meat on their first encounter with STDs from multiple sex partners in any given day because she’s already been there and done that. The good news is that she’s not a fat mid western wreck like most Cancun party goers, so here she is in a bikini sobering up before the big nights she has ahead of her hosting Middle Aged Women Gone Wild…because that’s pretty much what she is and that’s why I want to see her naked.

The Paparazzi Made Me Take Down the Pics But You Can See Them Here
GO

Posted in:Bikini|Cancun|Spring Break|Tara Reid

2008

17

Mar

Mel B’s Got Some New Bikini Pics of the Day

Everyone is ripping on Scary Spice’s bikini pics because they think she looks like a fuckin’ wreck. Her last pics showed off some sort of growth or rash on her ass and the truth is that’s the kind of girl I am into. I think she looks pretty fuckin’ tight for a 30 something year old with a kid. It looks like the only damage done to her is an excessive amount of drinking and drugs, and if you were a retired Spice Girl with lots of money and not much to do with yourself, other than star on shitty reality TV shows about dancing, you’d be on drugs too.

The truth is that I like my women lookin’ like street whores because it helps me live out a whole lot of fantasies without having to deal with the smells or insanity that comes with letting a crack whore in your house and that’s why these bikini pics are the hottest thing to hit since the last time I punched my wife in the face for crossing the line. Unfortunately for me, my wife is twice my size and she didn’t get as into me trying to beat her up as I thought she would so she ended up pulling some kind of wrestling move that I didn’t think she had the stamina to do, leaving me bruised and bed ridden for 3 days, but it was worth it because it kept her off my jock and having her try to hustle my dick is pretty fuckin’ scary…a hell of a lot scarier than Scary Spice in a bikini.

Posted in:Bikini Ass|Mel B|Scary Spice

2008

17

Mar

Mariah Cary Flashes Her Panties on SNL of the Day

I am the first to hate on Saturday Night Live for being some candy coated comedy show that doesn’t push any fucking limits ever or make me laugh. Their claim to fame in the 70s was that no one else was doing what they were doing. They were all so jacked on coke and they’d make fun of shit and show things you couldn’t find anywhere else on TV, but then the internet hit and TV became this lame censored place where no one could really do anything shocking or interesting or even that funny, unless they were on a cable channel.

The good news is that Saturday Night Live redeemed themselves this past weekend with a Mariah Carey panty slip, sure it’s about 10 years too late, but I think she’s still worth watching. The only thing that gets me down is the fact that she wasn’t too crazy or depressed to enough to forget her underwear, because a little vagina on Saturday Night Live would do them some good, and I don’t mean more Tina Fey or Molly Shannon, cuz those sluts are broken the fuck down….I am talking about Mariah Carey’s beav.

Watch the Video:

2008

17

Mar

Jennifer Aniston’s Bikini Ass of the Day

I was reading some women’s magazine the other day, as I like to do, to keep in touch with the other gender. I feel like it fills me with useless information that I can use to seduce women into getting naked for me on webcam because I generally don’t leave my house. My theory is that if you understand what the other species is reading and being fed, you can understand what they are thinking and in turn use it to your advantage in getting a hot young vulnerable girl to flash her tits for the sake of flashing her tits, as long as you use a language they understand.

So this week I learned that there are more men than women in the world so something like 4% of women will never get married, never have a family, never grow old with someone and will instead just die alone. My initial thought was that the 4% of girls who never get married were ugly, fat, disgusting women that no dude would want to end up with, but it turns out that a lot of them are hot, successful and just missed the fuckin’ boat. Maybe they were just saying that to make the lonely, vulnerable, fat disgusting readers feel better about themselves so that they don’t go jumping off any bridges, but maybe it’s true and if it is, Jennifer Aniston is one of those. The only difference is that she was already married, she just wasn’t good at it and forced her man to leave her.

So all the money in the world, all the re-runs of friends with her hard nipples, a hot bikini body still don’t help her lock down a cock, but the reality is that you’d all wait in line to get up in this, she just thinks she’s too good for you because Brad Pitt gave her unrealistic self-worth, even after destroying her on all levels, her low self esteem and rejected self still thinks she’s too good for you…..so stare at her ass and show her who’s boss in the privacy of your own room in your mom’s basement.

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Jennifer Aniston|Tits