I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

20

Feb

Tara Reid is an Academy Award of the Day

Here are some pictures of Tara Reid dressed like a Golden Academy Award because we’re all allowed to have dreams and if you can’t win one, you might as well be one. She’s at some She’s all socially conscious at some Live Earth event and I’m not talking about knowing where the next big party is or what time she’s meeting her friends for more drinks at the exclusive after-party like the socially conscious party sluts I know, I mean doing good for the environment by promoting the Smart Car for some Live Earth event that she is probably getting paid to do because the only Live Earth Tara Reid knows is a shot she once had at a college Frat party in Mexico during Spring Break that lead to her getting gang banged….

I am a fan of the fake tan, but I am also the kind of guy who only interacts with strippers and considers spending an afternoon in the waiting room of a Tanning Salon a good time because I get to see the cheesy bitches outside of their club elements. I am also a fan of Lionel Richie and all thing trying to emulate him.

To be fair, Tara Reid spends most of her time in the dark, where trying to figure out how much is too much especially when all the girls around you are more orange than you are because having a glowing face igets you noticed, not to mention she was probably wasted when she did her make up, and I know that whenever I am wasted and end up putting on my wife’s make-up to cater to her lesbian fantasies, I always end up lookin like a 300 pound tranny who just got punched in the face by a group of preschool finger painters….


Related Posts:

Tara Reid Upskirt Moment
Tara Reid is a Drunken Mess
Some Tara Reid See Through Nipple
Tara Reid is a Washed Up Drunken Party Girl

Posted in:Bronzer|Fake Tan|Skinny|Tara Reid

2008

20

Feb

Kim Kardashian’s Tight Dress of the Day

I just woke up and don’t feel like writing this site. What I do feel like doing is saving the world so I decided to report some suspect website that had naked under 18 year olds on it. I contacted my local authorities and gave me an email address to report what I found. This is what I wrote:

I just came across this family nudism website.

I know there is no harm in nudism and all that – but I fear they are attracting the wrong kind of audience – who look at this kind of thing sexually.

I bet a lot of predators are signed up to that site!!!

ps – there’s a really hot girl who is barely 18 on there.. What I wouldn’t do to be 16 again and get that drunk for her first time and show her a good time when my parents are out of town ! Let me know if you can find any information on her, I’d love to make her famous and she’s already willing to get naked so we’re halfway there. Thanks!!

Now, I will probably go to jail for trying to be funny about under 18 year olds naked. But before I do, here are some pictures of Kim Kardashian in some GoGo dancer lookin’ dress hugging her big ass like you wish you could do. In case you were wondering, Kim Kardashian is not under 18, it takes many years of eating to make an ass like that. Cuddles.

Related Posts:

Kourtney Kardashian’s Bikini in Miami
Kim Kardashian’s Armenian Ass
Kim Kardashian Wearing a Bra for Her Big Boobs
KIm Kardashian’s Got Some Crazy TIts

Posted in:Ass|Kim Kardashian|Tight Dress|Tits

2008

20

Feb

stepLINKS of the Day

I got an email threatening me to take down the Lohan Nude pictures…I will take them down because I can’t afford to get sued but before I did, I wanted to mess with the girl a bit. This is the email she sent me:

Your posting of New York magazine’s Lindsay Lohan photos violates US Copyright law.

You may post one photo with a prominent link back to nymag.com

If this is not corrected by 7pm, Eastern Time, you will hear from our lawyer. Thank you.

Serena Torrey
Director of Communications, Strategy and Business Development
New York Media

This is the email I sent her:

Serena,

OMG!! Didn’t I go to high school with you? How have you been holding up? What’s new with you. It’s been too fucking long. We should go out and grab some lunch and catch up….

I actually went to the Stand Up for Obama event you hosted back in december, I was hoping to run into you but had no luck!! I was pretty disappointed!

Seriously, get back to me when you get a chance, I am so fucking happy you reached out…This has to be fate, there’s really no other explanation for us being brought together. I always thought you were my soul mate but I didn’t expect it to happen like that.

Serena, I’ve had this poem I had written you way back in our high school year’s that I’ve been keeping around for all these years, in the event that I got back in touch with you. It’s actually been a poem that’s helped keep me going in the years I thought about killing myself. In a lot of ways you saved my life, at least the hope of being brought together did.

I hope you don’t find this too creepy. I know it’s a little unexpected but I guess that’s just the way life works; full of AMAZING surprises!!!

With Love

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

And these are my links:

Some Lohan Cleavage to Go With Her Nudes
GO

Here are Some Hot Sluts Posing in Some Barely There Swimsuits for You
GO

Some Bitch With The Hottest – Tightest Ass Ever – in a Thong
GO

Some Party Girl Wearing Her Little Sisters Tank Top Lookin’ GOod
GO

Here are Some Hot UFC Sluts
GO

Some Carmen Electra Video With a Bunch of Her Hot Pics
GO

Nicole Richie Spotted Partying Post Partem while the Baby Was Left at Home Again
GO

Gemma Atkinson’s Crotch Shot
GO

Bar Rafaeli Sports Illustrate Photoshoot Video Good Times
GO

Alessandra Ambrosio is Hot for Some Magazine and Not For You
GO

Katherine McPhee is Bent the Fuck Over Shower Her Gray Ass
GO

Lohan’s Mom Approves the Slutty Pics
GO

Paris Hilton is Banned from the Oscars
GO

Her Name is Sara Verone and This is Her Nipple Slip
GO

This Chick is NOT Naked – She’s Wearing a Tie
GO

Eva Longoria is Wearing Tightie Whities and You’d Like To Fuck Her Because You Like Little Boys…
GO

Eva Longoria in Her T-Shirt and Bikini Bottoms
GO

Jessica Simspon’s Tits Hates Me….
GO

Stacey Keibler in a School Girl’s Outfit Showing Off Leg and a Bonus Exclusive Upskirt
GO

Mexican Midget Dance Video
GO

Fuckin’ a Horse is Dangerous and Disgusting….
GO

Jessica Alba Posing in Some Horror Movie Pictures that Suck
GO

Some Girl Beats Up a Bum
GO

Some Obscure Condom Fashion Show
GO

Some Myspace Chick and Her Slutty Pics
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Anne Hathaway Shows Off Her Boring Legs
GO

Some Asian Chick Taking a Shower For You
GO

A Woman’s Tattoo of a Masturbating Woman
GO

This Sunsilk Commercial Chick is Pretty Much Half Naked
GO

Avril Lavigne is Hiding Her Baby
GO

Megan Fox Shows Off Her Body for Some Italian Magazine Called Jack
GO

Some Chick at a Party Gets Groped and Decides She Likes It Video
GO

The Dallas Cowboys Rockin’ Out at a Hockey Game
GO

The Washington Wizard Cheerleaders Are Posing Slutty and Having a Good TIme
GO

Download this Remix Done By My Old Friend Rick Toxic
GO

Her Name is Brianna Frost and She’s Rockin’ The Shower Pretty Fucking Well….
GO

Zoo York Makes a Jenna Jameson Deck
GO

Rumer Willis Gets Kicked Out of Club cuz Bitch isn’t 21
GO

FROM PHOTOBUCKET:

Some Girl Showing Off Her Booty
GO

FROM THE FORUM:

Stone Temple Pilots Discography
GO

Big Pun – Capital Punishment
GO

LL Cool J – Walking With a Panther
GO

50 Cent – Guess Who’s Back
GO

Freezepop – Future Future Future Perfect
GO

Hard-Fi — Once Upon a Time in the West
GO

Air – Pocket Symphony
GO

Get Some Porn..it is Fun…
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Use this to Find GIrls to FUck – Because Girls are Fun
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

19

Feb

Gene Simmons Sex Tape of the Day

Gene Simmons Sex Tape Scandal
Gene Simmons Sex Tape Scandal
Gene Simmons Sex Tape Scandal

Gene Simmons is known for having slept with a ton of women and he’s always part of the trashiest events, so I am not surprised that he found himself a hot groupie slut to fuck. I am surprised that he let this leak onto the internet because he already has a boatload of money and this shit isn’t going to make any one think he’s any cooler. Not to mention most people would rather watch the news than a porn starring Simmons, but that’s just because we like to stay on top of world events, we’re cultured like that.

If anything it’s just going to ruin his relationship, but then again, he’s dating some Playboy porn slut so she probably knows all about what his dirty little secrets, they just kept that shit off the show because America wouldn’t approve of what he does when he’s on the road….or in this case in the bed, even though dude’s not even married making this not even adultery because the iron fist and shackles that is the rules of marriage don’t really apply for him and just a good old time with some young hot willing pussy, who is obviously trying to make a name for herself in one of the weirdest ways possible, but then again sluts don’t always think strategy through, they just see famous cock and figure fucking it makes them more important than their useless slut friends, but this one was smart enough to capture it on film with what’s got to be a hidden camera .

Either way, seeing Gene Simmons fuck is about as appealing as watching your mom and dad fuck, which is pretty fucking appealing, but that’s just because I am into amateur porn now, not that plastic mainstream over produced shit is played the fuck out, and your mom really knows how to take it up the ass….

Point of all this is to say that there is no guarantee this is him, but it looks like him, so I am going with real and a publicity stunt for god knows what because I didn’t see any penetration and this could just be simulated sex. Someone told me he is pushing an energy drink and this girl is the spokesperson for it and someone else told me he’s got a new show coming out….it just seems like good timing..

If You Want the Uncensored Clips and Some Huge Fucking Tits From the Video…..
GO

Check Out Gene’s Secret Site and Decide if this is Legit for Yourself because I am No Expert…at anything….
GO

Posted in:Gene Simmons|Sex Tape

2008

19

Feb

The Sacramento Kings Dancers are Pretty Slutty of the Day

These pictures have been going around for the last couple of days and I decided to post them. They are pretty tame and remind me of pretty much any bitch who thinks she’s hot on myspace, but are of the Sacramento Kings’ dancers acting like boring and typical party sluts. It is not all that surprising that a group of cheesy bitches who want to be cheerleaders for professional team in the first place would show off their bodies or thongs like the tacky bitches they are because showing off their asses when that’s pretty much what they do for a living.

Now if these girls were anything like the party sluts I know, they’d be doing a choo-choo train on their knees with each other’s faces buried in the ass of the girl in front of them, but then again, the party sluts I know are prostitutes….and charge for that.

Posted in:Dancers|Sacramento Kings|Sluts

2008

19

Feb

Zoo Girls are Nude and Rude of the Day

Zoo Weekly consistently brings the goods when it comes to slutty Glamour models undressed or dressed half naked. They pretty destroy the American competition because they actually show some fuckin’ tit.

I guess you’re not really the home of the free, when your corporations are so fucking conservative that they won’t sponsor anything with a tit on it, even though those executives pay strippers ten dollars a dance to touch their tits pretty much every time they go away on business.

That’s not even going into the creepy shit those powerful executives do with their wives and their mistresses behind closed doors while always maintaining a clean cut image to make the psycho Christians and uptight WASPS buy their shit, because having an ad next to a picture of a tit or showing a little more tit on network TV would be so fucking bad, considering we all fuck and like fucking.

What I don’t understand is why CSI is on every night, showing people murdered and how they were murdered, with all kinds of dead bodies and blood and shit, but the second someone shows a little ass the FCC is on their ass with a million dollar fine.

It is really fucking crazy, but the good thing is that the UK give dudes what they want without labeling it porn, because let’s face it, we all like tits, except for the gay dudes, but they have Men’s Health to get them through their lonely nights that are a lot less lonely than your lonely nights, because gays like to fuck as much as you like to fuck, so they always find cock all while you’re out trying to convince a girl to get with you on Facebook…..maybe you should re-evaluate your lifestyle.

If you decided you still like tits then check out the 30 Pictures of Zoo Girls Nude and Rude
GO

Posted in:Nude|Zoo Weekly

2008

19

Feb

Girls Aloud Bikini Pictures of the Day

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

So it turns out that the Girls Aloud sluts from the UK have a new album out, not that I’ve ever heard their other album, but I think it’s safe to say that it wasn’t award winning and either will this. They are just a group of party sluts with a Spice Girl dream and it worked out for them because here they are celebrating their accomplishments in their bikinis, instead of working at the topless diner like they should be….at least Cheryl Tweedy Cole should be while the ugly one stays in the back and does the dishes….no one wants to look at that shit.

Posted in:Bikini|Cheryl Tweedy Cole|Girls Aloud

2008

19

Feb

Kathleen Turner Hasn’t Had Sex in 2 Years of the Day

So Kathleen Turner is crazier than Britney and drunker than I am. Bitch is on Larry King talking about how she hasn’t had sex in 2 years pretty much because no one has turned her on in the last 2 years since her husband left her. I wonder if she’s looked in the mirror long enough to realize that she probably hasn’t turned anyone on in the last 2 years and that’s why they haven’t turned her on…they were too busy trying to get out of the conversation and run away, that is because she hasn’t met me because I have no standards and would totally fuck her like I was romancing the stones and by stones I mean old drunk fat lady who has more money than my wife and who wouldn’t judge my drinking…..

Posted in:Kathleen Turner|Sex

2008

19

Feb

Lohan Does the WWE of the Day

It turns out that a 40 year old Lohan has very little to do now that her career is pretty much non existent so bitch is hitting up one of the classier nights of the week at WWE’s Monday Night Raw. In my life, I’ve never understood much about wrestling or the hype about wrestling other than that every Italian or Greek dude I’ve ever met has had a thing for it and that it is the closest thing to gay porn on TV, because half naked dudes, greased up and pretending to fight by rolling all over each other’s half naked body is what the gays call foreplay.

Maybe I’m just traumatized by wrestling, because I remember when growing up, I knew a kid who always wanted to wrestle and not knowing any better, I went for it. After pinning the motherfucker down, I felt his boner against my leg and realized he was a little too into wrestling for me. Later in life I remember wrestling girl expecting it to lead to fooling around but it turned out that it wasn’t foreplay, it was just rape.

Either way, despite the mask, this dude’s not me, in case you were wondering, because if it was me my had would be up Lohan’s shirt dress and I’d be trying to suck on her haggard face, not to mention I would be wearing my favorite soiled sweatpants and not a shirt that’s got more life than my vomit after a night of drinking…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Mexican Mask|Wresting|WWE

2008

19

Feb

Carey Hart Celebrates Divorce with Pink of the Day

The big news of the day that no one cares about is that Pink and Carey Hart are officially getting a divorce. Based on this picture that was sent to me, Carey Hart is pretty hurt by it. I guess it is because Carey has decided to denounce his homosexuality, because as far as I’m concerned Pink’s no lesbian, she’s a man.
Either way, this is what her publicist had to say:

“Pink and Carey Hart have separated. This decision was made by best friends with a huge amount of love and respect for one another, while the marriage is over, their friendship has never been stronger.”

I guess annoucing that Carey was just going through a weird experimental phase and has decided to go back to real vagina instead of the man-pussy he married wouldn’t be good for her career, since some people still think she’s a hot piece of ass and those people are the same kind of people who ask their wives and girlfriends to find their p-spot.

I guess you can’t be too bitter when your man realizes you’re a man and they aren’t down with that after years of deception or whatever the fuck else Pink did to trick dude on their first date to fuck her.

This is a lot like the time I was outside my building and my neighbor came home with a Tranny. I pulled him aside and told him that bitch was a man and he told me I was crazy. The next day, I got a knock on my door and he said “bitch was a man, you were right” and I asked what he did, thinking he beat her up and kicked her out for trickin’ her and he told me he fucked her. because he was in too deep and that they were going out again that night, because since he already did it once, he’s already got over the stigma of having sex with a tranny. If you know what I mean, which you do, because you felt the same way the first time you masturbated after years of convincing yourself it was the Devil’s Sport, until doing it and never stopping…seriously, it’s making me uncomfortable….

Posted in:Carey Hart|Divorce|Pink