I am guessing that the Hiltons went to Maui to celebrate Christmas because the family needed to get away from their lives that are already fuckin’ vacations because their cokehead loser rich kid father sued the grandfather’s Hilton Hotel estate because he was written out of the will because he was some cokehead rich kid loser that even his father wanted nothing to do with, and won, so now we have this trashy rich kid loser and his wallet fucking wife making rich kid babies who end up doing trashy wallet fuckin’ things and coke because the apple never falls far from the tree.

Either way, Nicky Hilton is in a bikini and I love bikinis, especially when they are on skinny girls, not that Nicky Hilton is a good kind of skinny girl; her ass is a deflated skinny mess but her no-tits can let you fantasize about 13 year old boys and I know you’re into that. It’s Christmas everyday for me, and I just keep on giving. I am the internet version of Santa Claus, but only because I like it when people sit on my lap and tell me what they want. Cuddles.

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The one thing that shocks me about Nicolette Sheridan and Michael Bolton having this whole sexual relationship is that Nicolette Sheridan doesn’t have a dick.

I’ve heard some Michael Bolton songs in my lifetime, because there was a time that all you had to do was throw in a Bolton tape for any self-respecting cool chick to realize you were a fucking queer and walk out on you, but for every insecure little slut looking for love in all the wrong places to get all panty soup on you and jump your dick because it makes them feel wanted even if it’s just for a minute, because I was never one for stamina.

Either way, here she is in a bikini and she’s lookin better than most of your girlfriends, but that’s not saying much, because you are ugly and found your chick working at the cafeteria in your highschool on some work program for high-functioning retards and it was love at first sight, because hasn’t learnt how to say no yet. Sicko.

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Here are some pictures of Britney Spears being Festive in Red this Christmas Eve in a see-through shirt, trying to distract you from her sister’s teenage pregnancy with her sloppy tits, because family stick together, especially this time of year, unless they are your family.

I know that it’s Christmas Eve and that probably means that you are on the computer today because your family disowned you when you turned 18 since you’re a disgrace. But it’s Christmas Eve and I am trying to redeem myself for being a bad person, I have no issue doing work for you today, while normal people are at home eating pie with their family or whatever the fuck you people do on Christmas Eve when you have family that didn’t disown you.

Since I am more of the kind of person who abuses charity and doesn’t give to charity, like cashing in on free meals at the homeless shelter and stocking up on canned goods from those food drives for poor families, or even taking toys from those organizations set up for underprivileged kids even though I don’t have kids, but like to make up for my toyless childhood, the only thing I know to do is post these pictures of Britney’s nipples pointing to the ground like they are sadder than you. I know that her see-through shirt is not what you asked Santa for this Christmas and all you really want is a call from your family asking you to come home, they’ll have to do, especially since they are the only nipples you’ll be getting today.

BONUS – BRITNEY NIPPLES MADE ANOTHER APPEARANCE

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I had a pretty drunken last couple of days, it happens. It’s the holidays and I figured you assholes weren’t at work or getting ready for the week off, but then I realized that none of you have jobs and still live at your mom’s house, so the holidays are like any other day for you, except you are forced to listen to spend time with your family, who hate spending time with you, because you’re weird.

Either way, I got in a bit of an argument with a girl last night at a bar after a few too many drinks about Katherine Heigl, not because Katherine Heigl comes up in my everyday life conversations, but because she brought up how hot she that she was and I said that she was fat, and this girl took offense.

Now lookin’ at these pictures of her smoking and walking around, I can’t say that she’s fat but since ]I don’t like admitting that I am wrong, I can say that her double chin means that she IS fat in Hollywood, and that’s really all that matters.

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