I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2007

24

Oct

I am – Danielle Lloyd Likes Skiing in Bikinis of the Day

danielle_lloyd_ski_bikini_top.jpg

All this losing all my money shit’s killing me. I think I just shat out my liver or something that looked like my liver. It’s either stress or the ebola virus, either way I am fucked. But I figured you shouldn’t suffer because I am suffering. We only have a limited time together, so I gotta make the best of it. That’s how much I like you and because corporate america can take my money but they can’t take my funny, or my bad poetry….

I have been hustling facebook the last couple of days and I came across a comment from some girl I don’t know that said she got a 63% on her test so I wrote:

I hope it wasn’t your “What you look like naked” test…cuz that would be depressing. Based on your pics, I woulda given you at least a 65%…baby…

So do you come here often?

Love

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Either way, here are some pictures of:Danielle Lloyd, doing what she does, which is pretty much rock a bikini everywhere she goes, even to the ski hill, because that’s how committed she is to her useless career that’s only going to last another 15 lbs or 5 years, whichever comes first, so she’s gotta bank everything she can, it’s gotta last her a lifetime.


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Danielle Lloyd Ass Flash
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Danielle Lloyd’s Bad Ass in a White Bikini

Posted in:Bikini|Danielle Lloyd|Skiing|Slut|Unsorted

2007

24

Oct

I am – Elisha Cuthbert Looks Like a Jewish Retiree in Florida of the Day

elisha_cuthbert_bartop.jpg

Paypal are fucking thieves. I don’t make much money with the site, but sometimes some money comes in and these fuckers just shut me down and won’t give me my money back for 6 months because they have labeled me an “adult site”. I am going crazy because that is my drinking money and it pays for the server and my rent. Without it, I die and so does the site.

We regret to inform you that we cannot overturn the limitation on your account. Due to the violation of PayPals Acceptable Use Policy regarding Mature Audiences, your account has been permanently limited. The limitation is based on the site http://drunkenstepfahter.com. Please remove all references to PayPal from your website(s) and/or auction(s). This includes not only removing PayPal as a payment option, but also the PayPal logo and/or shopping cart.

If you have any questions, please contact the PayPal Acceptable Use Policy Department at aup@paypal.com

Sincerely,
PayPal Acceptable Use Policy Department
PayPal, an eBay Company

So when my life is in jeopardy and the survival is the only thing on my mind, I have no choice but to put up a fight. So, I am about to start war on these assholes. So if you or anyone you know work at Paypal and can help in my fight to bring them down I will need you to get me the contact info of their senior management team because trust me when I get mad, I get fucking mad, and I am about to start war on these motherfuckers. Even if it means getting my ass to their San Jose office…I will get my fucking money back.

Here are some pictures of Elisha Cuthbert lookin’ like shit, and by shit I mean like a Jewish Retiree in Florida, while leaving some bar last night, because I know you still have her posters of her on the wall. Hopefully this will help you move on.

According to the conservative christian cocksuckers at paypal, this pictures may be considered Mature Audience Content, o watch out.


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Elisha Cuthbert Bikini
Elisha Cuthbert is Pale
Elisha Cuthbert is Fat

Posted in:Busted|Elisha Cuthbert|Paypal|Unsorted

2007

24

Oct

I am – Julia Allison Isn’t That Famous but in Lingerie of the Day

julia_allison_lingerie4.jpg

So her name is Julia Allison and she is some kind of freelance writer or journalist and has been or is on Fox News. I’ve never heard of her, but that’s not saying much, because I don’t read or watch TV, but you probably haven’t heard of her either.

The reason I am posting these pictures of her in her lingerie is because someone emailed me saying she’s dating one of the founders of CollegeHumor. You probably know CollegeHumor as one of the lamest link-dump sites out there, because it is designed for stupid sluts and the frat boys who gangbang them, and for some reason they got fucking huge and all they were doing was linking the lamest fucking content on the internet days after that shit hit the internet. I am guessing their Frat Boy audience was too fucking stupid to learn the names of other sites or maybe it’s because these geeks who created it were up on this shit in the beginning of the internet. So after a few years of running shit, these 4 college losers sold half of their business for something like 30,000,000 dollars to interactive corp, who own shit like ASK.com, Ticketmaster, match.com and a whole lot of other shit.

So now, four cheesy fucking dudes with lame jokes and ironic t-shirts that other cheesy fucking dudes rock, are worth a lot of fucking money, and maybe they stayed cooped up in their dorm rooms jerking off to the pictures sluts sent them for the site, but now they are “BAWLLLIN” and bitches like this Julia Allison are letting them inside their vaginas, probably unprotected, because of it.

Point of this is to say that if you can turn your loser ways into something profitable, there is no way decent to hot pussy is running after the CollegeHumor dudes because they are cool shit, it’s because they have money and girls like fucking money. So if you have money, you will get all the fucking pussy you want so you should stop reading this site and start doing something that involves the obscure porn you chronically jerk off to, videogames, and having no friends.

For the record, CollegeHumor has linked this site, but stopped a long time ago and I hate them for it, they are dead to me, but their girlfriends aren’t because the number one revenge you can have on a motherfucker is by fucking his girlfriend and since I never leave my house and smell like shit, this is as close as I’ll get to her junk

Here are those pics of her simulating wallet fucking some old dude in her lingerie, if you’re wondering why she’s drinking, it’s so that she can live with herself after she sucks him off and blame it on being drunk I guess it’s true that sometimes art imitates life, not that this shit is art, but you know what I’m saying, it’s not that complicated. Cuddles

Visit Her Website, Write Her an Email, Hire Her To Host Your “TV” Show…
GO


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Posted in:CollegeHumor|Hot|Julia Allison|Lingerie|Tits|Unsorted

2007

24

Oct

I am – Julia Allison Isn't That Famous but in Lingerie of the Day

julia_allison_lingerie4.jpg

So her name is Julia Allison and she is some kind of freelance writer or journalist and has been or is on Fox News. I’ve never heard of her, but that’s not saying much, because I don’t read or watch TV, but you probably haven’t heard of her either.

The reason I am posting these pictures of her in her lingerie is because someone emailed me saying she’s dating one of the founders of CollegeHumor. You probably know CollegeHumor as one of the lamest link-dump sites out there, because it is designed for stupid sluts and the frat boys who gangbang them, and for some reason they got fucking huge and all they were doing was linking the lamest fucking content on the internet days after that shit hit the internet. I am guessing their Frat Boy audience was too fucking stupid to learn the names of other sites or maybe it’s because these geeks who created it were up on this shit in the beginning of the internet. So after a few years of running shit, these 4 college losers sold half of their business for something like 30,000,000 dollars to interactive corp, who own shit like ASK.com, Ticketmaster, match.com and a whole lot of other shit.

So now, four cheesy fucking dudes with lame jokes and ironic t-shirts that other cheesy fucking dudes rock, are worth a lot of fucking money, and maybe they stayed cooped up in their dorm rooms jerking off to the pictures sluts sent them for the site, but now they are “BAWLLLIN” and bitches like this Julia Allison are letting them inside their vaginas, probably unprotected, because of it.

Point of this is to say that if you can turn your loser ways into something profitable, there is no way decent to hot pussy is running after the CollegeHumor dudes because they are cool shit, it’s because they have money and girls like fucking money. So if you have money, you will get all the fucking pussy you want so you should stop reading this site and start doing something that involves the obscure porn you chronically jerk off to, videogames, and having no friends.

For the record, CollegeHumor has linked this site, but stopped a long time ago and I hate them for it, they are dead to me, but their girlfriends aren’t because the number one revenge you can have on a motherfucker is by fucking his girlfriend and since I never leave my house and smell like shit, this is as close as I’ll get to her junk

Here are those pics of her simulating wallet fucking some old dude in her lingerie, if you’re wondering why she’s drinking, it’s so that she can live with herself after she sucks him off and blame it on being drunk I guess it’s true that sometimes art imitates life, not that this shit is art, but you know what I’m saying, it’s not that complicated. Cuddles

Visit Her Website, Write Her an Email, Hire Her To Host Your “TV” Show…
GO


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Joanna Krupa in Lingerie for her 2008 Calendar
Kate Hudson Rocks Boring Lingerie
Lily Allen Shops for Lingerie
Bianca Gascoigne Lingerie Pictures

Posted in:CollegeHumor|Hot|Julia Allison|Lingerie|Tits|Unsorted

2007

24

Oct

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

picture-50.jpg

I like making friends on the internet. Today was spent on Facebook because I am uninspired by celebrities and decided to find 18 year old girls to inspire me so I wrote this to a girl:

how do you feel about teenage pregnancy…i am tired of being a stepfather and am looking for something to call my own and need a host uterus. or we could just always try until we get it right…that’s a genius idea….i should be a life coach in a high school….

So she wrote:

but after birth my vajayjay will never be the same again. i dont know if ill be able to handle that. we’ll have to see.

kisses.

So I wrote back:

i heard about this thing called an abortion and they are supposed to be a lot more fun than they sound.

Here are my links….they don’t suck as hard as I do…..

Some Bitch Named New York Gets her Toes Sucked on Her Show Called I Love New York 2
GO

Losers Recreate Star Wars With Their Hands…And I Am Sure Their Virginity is Seriously Pissed Off at Them For Doing This…
GO

Some Chick Getting Off to Her Cellphone
GO

Some Retarded Talking Ass Video
GO

Highschool Musical Face or Orgasm Face
GO

This Model is Columbia’s Finest Export…Even Better than Cocaine and You Will Want To Marry Her With Your Dick…
GO

Miss October Waitress of the Month Posing in Her Bikini and Lookin’ Pretty Fucking Smokin Hot
GO

Some Dude Follows Hot Girls on the Street With a Video Camera…Shit is Creepy But Fuckin’ Hot
GO

Older – Fergie Showing Off her Ass Cheeks and Thong…
GO

Some Blonde Chick Gets Convinced to Get Naked in Her Dorm Room….
GO

Some Big Brother Norway Sex Tape You May Have Already Seen…But Should See Again
GO

Some Dude’s Insane Air Guitar Performance
GO

Some Older Salma Hayek Tit Action on TV
GO

Megan Fox Looks Hot and Shows Up To Events Alone Because Her Boyfriend Doesn’t Get Invited to Such High Profile Events…
GO

Drew Barrymore Showing Off Her Fat in Some Weird Onesy Outfit
GO

Marie Osmond Faints on Dancing With the Stars and I Laughed…
GO

Halle Berry Makes a Jewish Nose Joke About Her Mac Photobooth Pics on Leno….
GO

David Copperfield has the Weirdest Pick Up Strategy That Kinda Scares the Fuck Out of Me….
GO

Some Foxy Brown Crazy Cleavage Pictures From Before She Was Locked Up
GO

Jake Gyllenhaal Was Uncomfortable Watching His Sister’s Sex Scenes in Secretary Because She Isn’t His Brother…Get It…Cuz He’s Gay…I Kill Me…
GO

Nick Hogan Posts a Myspace Message About His Car Accident That Crippled a Dude…
GO

Celebrity Tit Showdown – Rossum Vs Cuthbert
GO

Watch Some Little Girl Singing Because I May Suck and Life…But She Doesn’t Yet and Somethings Are Still Wholesome…and Worth a Minute of Your Time…See I’m a Sensitive Guy….
GO

Some Cabinet Scare Prank Worth Watching
GO

Petra Nemcova is Hot at Some Event and I Love Her….
GO

Reese Witherspoon Pretends to Date Jake Gyllenhaal
GO

Some Jerry Springer Redneck Clip That’s Gotta Be a Joke
GO

Eva Mendes Does Maxim and Looks Good Doing It…
GO

A Whole Lot of Celebrity Upskirts
GO

Tonya Cooley From MTVs Real World Bikini and See Through Pictures
GO

Some Hot Bitch Named Tory Lane Naked and Hot Bitchin’
GO

The New Spice Girls Song Makes Me Want to Kill Myself
GO

Some Skirt Getting Stuck Prank That is Funny
GO

Some Chick Gets Herself Off on the Train Cuz She’s a Dirty Girl
GO

Crazed Baboon Attacks a Woman Video
GO

Cheryl Cole Looks Fucking Hot in Mom Jeans With Her Tits Hanging Out…
GO

Carmen Electra’s Got a New Look and She Doesn’t Look Like She Used To….But I’d Still Try To Knock Her Up With My Mouth
GO

Katiren from Belgian Temptation Island’s Topless Photoshoot
GO

People Love Having Fun on Live TV – This Dude makes and Lame Eating Pussy Gesture on Camera Because He’s a Cunt
GO

Another American Apparel AssVertisement that’s Actually More Stripper that Hipster and I Like That
GO

Some Christian Dude Takes Slutty Pics of His Teen Girlfriend Who is Also a Christian, I Find It Nice to See Two Kids Who are Going to Hell Have So Much Fun while being so in Love….
GO

Download the Pete Doherty band Baby Shambles Album
GO

Download Some Set of Some Chick’s Stolen Dirty Pics
GO

Download Some Tool Album
GO

The Craziest TIts You Will Ever See
GO

Some Insane Anna Nicole Story That Proves Howard K Stern is Sleazy and May Be Responsible for Her Death
GO

Some Vinyl Wearing Lesbians Going At It…
GO

Another Lesbian Video Only This Time They are in White Panties
GO

This is What Happens When You Take Too Much Ambien
GO

Cali Logan is Some Bitch Who Gets Naked on the Internet
GO

Use This if You Like Fucking….
GO

Bonus:

Check Out This Auction Where Proceeds Go To Homeless Youth and I Fucking Love Homeless People Because I am One Step Away from being One…and Homeless Chicks are Easy…
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

23

Oct

I am – Britney Spears Bikini Dance of the Day

britney_spears_bikini_dance9.jpg
Here are some pictures of Britney that hit yesterday but I didn’t bother posting them because they were tagged to shit from whoever took the pictures, so I am posting them now, a day late. I think Britney is fucking awesome, not because she’s a wreck and making huge money off being a wreck or because she’s not talented and her new album is robotic as fuck and still number 1 everywhere even though it doesn’t sound like her, but because she’s an exhibitionist and gets naked all the fucking time. I think hanging out with Britney would be a lot cheaper than hanging out at a strip club, even though it seems that a big part of Britney wishes she was hanging out with you at a strip club as one of the dancers. I really don’t have much more to say other than I hope she is influencing today’s youth to help brighten my future, because there’s nothing like watching a dirty girl cleaning and dancing in some skimpy bikini and makes me wish I could afford some nude cleaning service, even though those nude girls don’t do a very good job cleaning, but my house smells like my wife’s dirty underwear and it’s making me sick to my stomach.


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Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Britney Spears|Dance|Tits|Unsorted

2007

23

Oct

I am – Kylie Minogue’s 2008 Calendar of the Day

kylie_minogue_calendar_top.jpg

If boring calendar’s are your thing, than Kylie’s working for you. This is her 2008 Calendar and I fell asleep while downloading the pictures because they fucking suck, but I could have fallen asleep because I am drinking during the day again and feeling a little like taking a nap so that I can drink more in a few hours.

I guess the point of all this is whether this shit is lining her pockets or if the proceeds are going to breast cancer research because usually when people get a disease, they suddenly become ambassadors to their cause and harass everyone they know to donate money to it, which is fucking annoying because it’s hard to tell someone who almost died that you don’t want to give them money especially when before they had the disease they’d always complain about their friends who would ask them for money or would slam the door in my face when I’d go door to door with a can asking for donations to the Jesus Martinez Fund, I guess that’s one of the reasons why I don’t have any friends because it’s less responsibility.


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Posted in:2008|Breast Cancer|Calendar|Kylie Minogue|Unsorted

2007

23

Oct

I am – Kylie Minogue's 2008 Calendar of the Day

kylie_minogue_calendar_top.jpg

If boring calendar’s are your thing, than Kylie’s working for you. This is her 2008 Calendar and I fell asleep while downloading the pictures because they fucking suck, but I could have fallen asleep because I am drinking during the day again and feeling a little like taking a nap so that I can drink more in a few hours.

I guess the point of all this is whether this shit is lining her pockets or if the proceeds are going to breast cancer research because usually when people get a disease, they suddenly become ambassadors to their cause and harass everyone they know to donate money to it, which is fucking annoying because it’s hard to tell someone who almost died that you don’t want to give them money especially when before they had the disease they’d always complain about their friends who would ask them for money or would slam the door in my face when I’d go door to door with a can asking for donations to the Jesus Martinez Fund, I guess that’s one of the reasons why I don’t have any friends because it’s less responsibility.


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Kylie Minogue Topless in St Tropez
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Dani Minogue’s Lapdance Video Stills

Posted in:2008|Breast Cancer|Calendar|Kylie Minogue|Unsorted

2007

23

Oct

I am – Mariah Carey’s Cleavage of the Day

mariah_carey_cleavage_top.jpg

I don’t see enough of Mariah Carey, I don’t mean that literally, because bitch is big enough to fill the frame as successfully as her late 90s career, I meant in general, where the fuck did she go and what the fuck’s she been up to since her psychological meltdown. Reality is that I don’t really care, I was never a fan of anything more than her big tits.

I was at a party on Saturday and there was a girl there who I know. She pulled out her camera to show me a picture of her crotch. She was wearing pantyhose and underwear over the pantyhose. I was confuse, because I was always under the impression that pantyhose doubled as underwear and that’s why they have that weird vagina protector and if you’re going to wear underwear with pantyhose, wouldn’t it only make sense to wear them under the pantyhose? I was pretty drunk so instead of asking her, I just pinned her against the wall, lifted up her skirt and dry humped her with my limp dick. She wasn’t really vibing on my “I get drunk and molest you” ways, but she shoulda been expecting it coming from me. Her boyfriend on the otherhand gave me a high five, or what I thought was a high five before it slammed me in the face and gave me a nose bleed. I guess the lesson of the day is that when getting drunk and molesting a chick with underwear over her pantyhose, make sure her boyfriend isn’t right next to her.

Either way, here is Mariah Carey rockin’ some tight dress, pantyhose and a pair of fuck me boots for all you losers who used to jerk off to her music videos before the internet was invented.

On Some TRL Shit….

On the Street….

Bonus: Mariah Carey’s Cleavage on the Today Show…Today…


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Mariah Carey’s Nipples Walk Her Dog
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Older Mariah Carey Upskirt Pictures

Posted in:cleavage|Legs|Mariah Carey|Pantyhose|Tits|Unsorted

2007

23

Oct

I am – Mariah Carey's Cleavage of the Day

mariah_carey_cleavage_top.jpg

I don’t see enough of Mariah Carey, I don’t mean that literally, because bitch is big enough to fill the frame as successfully as her late 90s career, I meant in general, where the fuck did she go and what the fuck’s she been up to since her psychological meltdown. Reality is that I don’t really care, I was never a fan of anything more than her big tits.

I was at a party on Saturday and there was a girl there who I know. She pulled out her camera to show me a picture of her crotch. She was wearing pantyhose and underwear over the pantyhose. I was confuse, because I was always under the impression that pantyhose doubled as underwear and that’s why they have that weird vagina protector and if you’re going to wear underwear with pantyhose, wouldn’t it only make sense to wear them under the pantyhose? I was pretty drunk so instead of asking her, I just pinned her against the wall, lifted up her skirt and dry humped her with my limp dick. She wasn’t really vibing on my “I get drunk and molest you” ways, but she shoulda been expecting it coming from me. Her boyfriend on the otherhand gave me a high five, or what I thought was a high five before it slammed me in the face and gave me a nose bleed. I guess the lesson of the day is that when getting drunk and molesting a chick with underwear over her pantyhose, make sure her boyfriend isn’t right next to her.

Either way, here is Mariah Carey rockin’ some tight dress, pantyhose and a pair of fuck me boots for all you losers who used to jerk off to her music videos before the internet was invented.

On Some TRL Shit….

On the Street….

Bonus: Mariah Carey’s Cleavage on the Today Show…Today…


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Mariah Carey’s Cleavage and Short Skirt Pictures
Mariah Carey’s Nipples Walk Her Dog
Mariah Carey in a White Bikini
Older Mariah Carey Upskirt Pictures

Posted in:cleavage|Legs|Mariah Carey|Pantyhose|Tits|Unsorted