DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

Jenna Ortega for the Beetlejuice Photocall of the Day

Kelly Brook From Big Titty Model to Big Back Model of the Day

Charli XCX for Demon Kim Kardashian’s Brand of the Day

Christina Aguilera and her Botox Face and Ozempic Body Get Slutty of the Day

Shannon Mcmullen is the Instagram Of The Day

2007

Sep

I am – Michelle Trachtenberg’s Whore Lipstick of the Day

1 Comment »

So I didn’t give up on the Token Gay Blogger, even though he thought I did. I just overlooked this post of his for a day because I was out getting drunk and I like making people feel insecure about themselves, it usually keeps them on their toes to pump out stronger, better, faster posts that will actually make me famous. So I am still convinced the Gay Blogger is going to make all the difference for me, while Michelle Trachtenberg may be making all the difference for the Jewish girls she used to go to summer camp with….it gives them massive street cred at temple….

Here is his post:

So I was walking down the street today and I noticed there was a lot of traffic, which I thought was strange for the hour of the day. As I kept walking, I came to a crosswalk where there was this homeless guy, standing in the middle of the street directing traffic. Of course he was no good at it because he was homeless, which means he was drunk and/or high and/or crazy and he was causing all kinds of confusion. People were honking at him and screaming and just generally pissed off. But I thought â€œGood for you Homeless Guy! Grab life by the horns and go for it!â€? See, he couldâ€™ve been like every other homeless person and just sit on the sidewalk and ask for change or play a shitty guitar or paint a shitty painting but no, he wanted to be different so he just jumped in the middle of the road and directed traffic. He is an inspiration to us all.

Which brings me to Miss Tranchtenberg. See, she hasnâ€™t done much since she was on Buffy, sure was in a few episodes of Six Feet Under and a few shitty movies, but she is not doing all that much to separate herself from every other young starlet. So whatâ€™s her solution? Putting on whoreish red lipstick? Sorry, sweetheart, Xtina already did it (and she looked a trillion times better too). I think Michelle needs to take some lessons from our homeless friend and do something daring. So, Michelle, wipe off the whore lipstick and do something unexpected.

Like make a sequel to Harriet the Spy.

Smooch!

Julien

Related Posts:

Michelle Trachtenberg Shopping With Her Fat Mom
Michelle Trachtenberg Bathing Suit Pictures
Michelle Trachtenberg stepSTALKER Post
Michelle Trachtenberg Stalker Post Number 2

2007

Sep

I am – Michelle Trachtenberg's Whore Lipstick of the Day

1 Comment »

Here is his post:

So I was walking down the street today and I noticed there was a lot of traffic, which I thought was strange for the hour of the day. As I kept walking, I came to a crosswalk where there was this homeless guy, standing in the middle of the street directing traffic. Of course he was no good at it because he was homeless, which means he was drunk and/or high and/or crazy and he was causing all kinds of confusion. People were honking at him and screaming and just generally pissed off. But I thought “Good for you Homeless Guy! Grab life by the horns and go for it!” See, he could’ve been like every other homeless person and just sit on the sidewalk and ask for change or play a shitty guitar or paint a shitty painting but no, he wanted to be different so he just jumped in the middle of the road and directed traffic. He is an inspiration to us all.

Which brings me to Miss Tranchtenberg. See, she hasn’t done much since she was on Buffy, sure was in a few episodes of Six Feet Under and a few shitty movies, but she is not doing all that much to separate herself from every other young starlet. So what’s her solution? Putting on whoreish red lipstick? Sorry, sweetheart, Xtina already did it (and she looked a trillion times better too). I think Michelle needs to take some lessons from our homeless friend and do something daring. So, Michelle, wipe off the whore lipstick and do something unexpected.

Like make a sequel to Harriet the Spy.

Smooch!

Julien

Related Posts:

Michelle Trachtenberg Shopping With Her Fat Mom
Michelle Trachtenberg Bathing Suit Pictures
Michelle Trachtenberg stepSTALKER Post
Michelle Trachtenberg Stalker Post Number 2

2007

Sep

I am – Duck Doctors of the Day

1 Comment »

I am not sure why I am posting this. There are no sluts. There are no homeless people. It’s just a video from a restaurant in China that I thought was fucking strange. To be served by men dressed like doctors seemed like some kind of weird sexual fetish and I was compelled to share it with the world. It’s not to say it’s good or funny or whatever, but I am sure you’ve jerked off to stranger things….so get going and think about how succulent and fatty that duck meat is or maybe you’re more into stuffing the meatless carcass like a turkey…even though it’s a duck because you’re crazy like that. This is some next level porn….Cuddles.

Posted in:Asia|stepTV|Unsorted

2007

Sep

I am – Britney Spears and Cris Angel are Trash of the Day

No Comments »

Here are some pictures of Britney with her Magician boyfriend who she is either keeping close incase her career bombs and she needs to pull a Pam Anderson and rely on being the slut in a Magician act, or because she’s lonely and likes the attention. It’s kinda her thing to let dudes use her to get themselves famous…even when they are magicians and for anyone who knows a Magician, they now the best thing to do is keep them as far away from their kids as possible because anyone with so little social skills that they need props to “wow” a room of 10 year olds, is someone who is probably just as likely to try to hide in the girls locker room of the elementary school to sneak a peak.

I got this email from a reader along with these pics of Spears and her Magic Man and figured I’d throw it up because it’s one of those too good to be true situations that I’ve never had because I suck at life and never get any breaks….

Subject: Sleazebag Christmas of the day

Here I was engaged in my usual 5pm routine of drinking cheap, shitty beer and wishing I was any other place besides sitting in front of my computer, when someone knocked on my door.

Reluctantly I got up, a little nervous about the fact that there was still a pretty thick cloud of chronic smoke in front of the door to my filthy, stinking, rathole apartment. Stealthfully, like a drunken ninja, I checked the peephole to see a strange looking guy holding two bottles of liquor. Seems legit to me.

So I opened the door and it turns out the dude is my new next door neighbor, offering to sell me a freshly thieved fifth of Jack for 5 bucks. Now I don’t know where you live, but here in Albuquerque, a bottle of Jack will run you about 20 bucks. WeÃre talking cheap ass liquor here, people. So IÃm fucking stoked. I nabbed the bottle and retreated into my cave to down a couple of shots. Yeah, pretty ghetto. But you gotta understand I live in a shitty-ass section 8 ex-PJ turned wannabe legit apartment complex. Just check out the fabulous google reviews: Copper Ridge Apartments

So naturally the next order of business is a cigarette back outside on my porch. The neighbor girl opens up her door and comes out, telling me she’s about to move and that sheÃs stopped taking her meds. I try to contain myself but instinctively I ask if she’s got anything she doesn’t want anymore. She’s like “oh yeah, hold on” and goes back into her apartment and produces two bottles of pills Ã± Valium and Ambien. Free of charge, folks. Truly, a Sleazebag Christmas in September…

I’m including these pictures of Britney and Cris Angel here because Britney, when Cris was busy magically cajooling underaged girls with tricks, he probably lived in an even bigger shit hole that I do.

Sincurrrly,

Sean O’Donnell
STEPbrother

As you sit at home practicing your card tricks because it’s your last hope in having any form of social interaction and the hope of possibly impressing a girl enough to have her bang you, I am going to post these pics cuz Britney has a short skirt on and with a short skirt comes endless possibilities beyond just airing out her stank vadge, and since I have no standards, I’d totally do her….

Related Posts:

Britney Spears Comeback Tour Pictures
Britney Spears Goes Out in a Bra Picture
Britney Spears is Fucking Crazy
Britney Spears Bikini Ass Pictures

Posted in:Britney Spears|Cris Angel|Short Skirt|Slut|Unsorted

2007

Sep

I am – Rachel Ray and Megan Good See Through Shirts of the Day

2 Comments »

So there’s nothing better than girls who don’t wear bras. I was walking down the street today and saw some bitch who thought she was on the set of Sex in the City, walking her dog in some kind of tube top party dress that exposed a lot of tit and the part that was covered was tight enough and thin enough for me to pretty much see her whole fucking tit. She wasn’t that hot, but the fact that she went in public that slutty without realizing she was being slutty made me happy.

I don’t know who Megan Good is, but she has amazing tits and I am glad she’s showing the to the world. I can’t really say the same thing for Rachel Ray because I know who she is and I don’t find anything worth talking about her, not ever the fact that she has more nipple than tit and that she’s built like the pile of dog shit I almost stepped on last night when drunk, but thank got I got my shit to together, a feeling anyone who has ever fucked her can’t really relate to…..

Here are the hot pics of Megan Good’s See Through Tits..

Here are the not hot pics of Rachel Ray, because to all thing good, we need a little to balance out the bad….and that’s what makes this post so emotionally stable. Cuddles

Related Posts:

Demi Moore’s See-Through Shit Nipples
Jade Goody’s Nipples
Victoria Beckham’s Nipples and Hat Pictures
Sienna Miller’s Nipples on Set

Pics Via CelebSlam Because Other People Are More On the Ball than Me…

2007

Sep

I am – Vanessa Hudgens Nude Pictures of the Day

1 Comment »

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

I just woke up. It is 3:15. I am a fucking bum and will never get ahead…Good thing I realized this a long fucking time ago. Reality is I got fucking drunk last night and recovery time is a lot longer than it used to be.

A while ago, I read Vanessa Hudgens from Highschool Musical had some racy pics hit the net that she took for her lame fucking boyfriend who is a fucking fag or a fag that a PR team is keeping in the closet, like these pictures are porn that a PR team is releasing to make bitch more famous.

The thought of all this makes me want to go to the local ice cream shop and watch teens in their high school uniform eating soft serve.

Here are the nudes – I don’t know how legit they are. But I do know she’s got bush and a woman with bush is a woman for me. I spent most of my night making bets with some asshole I was with as to whether the girls in the bar had bush or not, and if so how it was styled, but when we had to go up and ask to see how close we were to being right, we usually got ignored….I always figured the cast of highschool musical would be bald, I guess if she was in the bar last night, I woulda lost on that one…but if she was in the bar I was in…I probably could have just paid her 5 dollars to show me. I like to stick to classy joints.

UPDATE – HAD TO TAKE THE PICS DOWN CUZ OF HER LAWYERS…..FUCKING CUNT….

Here are some pictures of Vanessa Hudgens at the High School Musical 2 premiere in Australia because this shit is taking over the world like AIDS..

Related Posts:

Vanessa Hudgens Bikini Pictures
Ashley Tisdale Bikini
Ashley TIsdale Bikini Pictures

Posted in:Bush|Naked|Uncategorized|Unsorted|Vanessa Hudgens

2007

Sep

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

2 Comments »

I just spent an hour watching some dude and his friend trying to move their couch out of the front door of their apartment building. They couldn’t figure out how to get through and I just stood there and watched like the asshole I am. Every time they got jammed in the corner or had the couch fall on their feet or crush their hands I’d laugh…I knew they weren’t seriously hurt but the fact that they couldn’t figure out that all they had to do was open the “double” door to make carrying out a joke, made laughing at them all make sense.

Either way, here are my links, because I can’t post everything on the internet, so I let other people do it for me. Cuddles

Tyra Banks looks like ET
GO

J.Lo Naked In a Movie Clip
GO

Dude with Rubber Legs Kick Boxing…..
GO

Conan’s Take on Kid’s Nation is “Babies on Cinderblocks”
GO

Bikes & Babes are Like You and Me…Meant to Be….
GO

Some Hot Fashion Show Video
GO

50 Cent Record Pre-Release Download Link….
GO

VBS and 50 Cent – Part 2
GO

Spike Jonze and Kanye West – Part 2
GO

Why Jump When You Can Dive…100 Meter Crash Video
GO

How Would You Rather…The College Girl Game
GO

Beowulf trailer with Angelina Jolie full frontal nude
GO

Some stupid fucking toy from the 50’s that made me laugh
GO

Nadia Hilton wants to show you her tits
GO

Some idiot super glues his hands to his cheeks
GO

Some hermaphrodite that can fuck themselves.
GO

The Mid West teen sex show
GO

Some video of Carmen elektra dancing and looking hott
GO

Maria Sharapove upskirt
GO

Megan Good see through top
GO

Keeley Hazell Zoo Magazine pictures
GO

An Example Why Corporate America is Like Nazi Germany…Southwest Airline Kicks a Bitch Off a Plane for Dressing Like a Whore
GO

Some chick masterbating and watching porn. Life imitating art, I tell ya.
GO

How to Ask for a Threesome
GO

Funny Couple of the Day
GO

Tommy Lee likes to fuck in public
GO

Backyard UFC fights
GO

Brad Pitt is an old fart
GO

Halle Berry vs Christina Aguilera
GO

Wrestling chick Christy Hemme naked pics, cause you are a loser who watches wrestling
GO

Amy Winehouse Performing Because She’s Going to Die Soon
GO

Kate, Raven and Misty are strip down
GO

Anetta Keys is your capitain
GO

Danielle Lloyd has clothes on for once. Her tits are still just as big
GO

Britney Spears isnt a child abuser afterall. Whoops
GO

Jude Law got arrested
GO

Some bitch is suing the dog that leona Helmsley left a bunch of money to. What the fuck is wrong with our world?
GO

Celebrity Cleavage Showdown
GO

Girl Beats Up Some Pansy VIdeo
GO

Some drunk chick wipes out on a boat
GO

Some BMW neither you nor I will ever be able to afford
GO

I wanna Bang Elle Macpherson at some Event
GO

Madonna and Elton John end their bitch fight
GO

Jerry O’Connell loves Fergie
GO

Funny Survivor Audition Tape
GO

Whoopi Goldberg defends dog fighting
GO

Drew Barrymore makes out with the guy from Die Hard 4
GO

Kate Moss’ new boyfriend is just as ugly as Pete Doherty, but at least he’s not a crackhead
GO

Owen Wilson’s family hates Kate Hudson
GO

Taylor Twins Fucking Around on Bunk Beds in their Underwear to Try To Convince you They are Just a Group of Teens…
GO

R Kelly’s trial for child porn is delayed again
GO

Nicole Kidman was engaged to Lenny Kravitz
GO

The Transformer Dress is Fucking Cool and Shows Me Tits
GO

Jessica Biel in a latex cat suit
GO

And the photoshop award of the week goes to….
GO

Eating disorders are funny, and even more funny when celebrities have them
GO

Claire Danes is Surprised I am Linking To Her…Since She’s Uselss
GO

Mariah Carey’s Cleavage
GO

Some Little Kid Break Dancing
GO

Who the Hell are the Marchant twins? Who cares, they are half naked
GO

Drew Barrymore Making Out With the Kid From Dodgeball
GO

Cop Gets Arrested for Jerking Off on Camera in a Cell
GO

Some Peeping Tom Sues The Police to Get his Porn Back
GO

Candice Swanepoel is Some Hot Slut in Lingerie
GO

Oral Sex Snorkel
GO

Dwarf With One Leg Sings – Piano Man by Billy Joel
GO

This Girl Should Have Thought Things Through Before Letting Her Bf Take These Pics
GO

Watch the Sean O’Donnell Show Because He Reads My Site…
GO

Bethany Love Gets Creative with Cucumbers….If you know what I mean….
GO

Kate Beckinsale Gettin’ Punk’d
GO

The Dude Who Directed Speed Got a Sex Change
GO

Some Dude’s Sex Tape That He Made With His Chick on Webcam was Leaked to the Internet (NSFW)
GO

Lookin Good Sweetheart in Her Socks
GO

Dita Von Tease Topless Picture Action
GO

Some Weird Girl With Tattoos and Fake Blood Make-Up Naked
GO

Some Budapest Porn Slut With Big Fake Tits Scores a 78
GO

Find Pussy in You Hometown….
GO

Use This Spray to Get Laid with the Pussy You Find in Your Hometown
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

Sep

I am – Hilary Duff Does Montreal of the Day

4 Comments »

So I was told that Hilary Duff was in town and I wasn’t about to try to go to her concert because I don’t give a fuck about her, but I did find out where the after party she was probably getting paid big money for was and decided I should try to get some exclusive content because maybe that will make me famous…I guess I could have tried to rape and kidnap her too, I would have been on the news and shit, but I am too pussy to actually do that kind of thing…and I don’t have a car and trying to walk home with some famous bitch you’ve just kidnaped is a good way to get caught. So I email the promoter with some bullshit about how the site is number 1 in montreal, which it was according to the shitty local paper, even though I rigged the results, it still counts to me because they printed it….Bitch tells me that I am in, I tell her that I look homeless and that her shitty club has rejected me a few other times like when Christina Aguilera was there and when some other lame celebrities were there….but Bitch assures me that there will be no problem at all….

Anyway, I get to the event, showered, thinking it will improve my chances, but the bouncer doesn’t want to let me in, I was never on the list and I don’t belong there. I talk my way to getting into the doors and in front of a door girl and I show her my camera saying I am here to take pictures for National Enquirer, now I only have a beat up broken point and shoot I borrowed from my neighbor, and bitch bites, telling me to stay away from the actual party and to stay in the corner where no one can see me…..

I buy a really expensive drink by a pornstar looking bar maid and I wait for Hilary Duff to show up, I have no idea what the deal with the night is, I am just running off some tip someone gave me. I am standing in the middle of the area where no one can see me, and all of a sudden I get thrown out of the way by some huge body guard, I look to see what’s up and there’s Hilary Duff, looking small, haggard and beat up, giggling with her entourage….

I wait around thinking she’s going to get on stage or some shit, but nothing. I listened to some DJ who was trying to be DJ AM, but couldn’t mix for shit and was stuck listening to a bad 80, 90s and Today dance mix that made me want to kill myself or at least for one of the metrosexuals drinking champagne to slip some roofies in my drink to make the site a little more of a success….

A group of 4 people got on stage and started to do some kind of hip hop dance routines. I figured they were locals trying to get noticed by Duff because she was in the room. The bitches were in short skirts and were too fat to be famous, but I figured we’re all allowed to dream and sat and watched as their skirts rode high, asses exposed and dance…then I realized that we were watching Hilary Duff’s fat back-up dancers in all their gayness and I turned on my shitty camera. I somehow managed to miss all the ass shots, I even saw one of the girl’s cunt, because she bent over and her underwear was moved to the side and by the time I realized that that was the main show, it was over.

I chatted up some photographer who was there, tried to convince him to give me his pics, because as the dancers were dancing, Hilary Duff was pretending to DJ her own song that they were dancing to and I missed all the Hilary Duff action…when it all ended Hilary Duff walked by me again, with her entourage and bouncers, and I didn’t have a chance to slip her the love note I had written her, because I figured creeping her out was the best way into her life….

This is the love letter I wrote her:

Dear Hilary,

I know you don’t know me, but I know you. I write about you whenever your nipples are hard, your shorts are too short, your bikini too wet, your panties exposed, or any other embarrassing things you’ve been caught doing on camera. I have even coined you and your sister as the Duffgusting sisters. I know you don’t know me or what I do because only 5 people read my site, but despite thinking you are ugly and talentless and confused as to why you’re more famous than the hotter, tighter, better singer neighbor of mine, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you.

I think together you could really find happiness and through artificial insemination, because my dick doesn’t work, I could find a solid retirement plan.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Here is the video footage of the dancers:

Here are pictures of her Montreal show, that I ripped off of some girls facebook, because stealing from Hilary Duff fans is like stealing candy from a baby….

Related Posts:

Hilary Duff Bikini Pictures
Hilary Duff in Concert Pictures
Duffgusting Sisters Do Halloween
Hilary Duff Riding on Bikes With Boys Pictures
Hilary Duff Scratches Her Ass Pictures

2007

Sep

I am – Daveigh Chase Bikini Pictures of the Day

6 Comments »

These are some pictures of Daveigh Chase, some 17 year old child star who is going through her slut phase in hopes of getting more work.

I didn’t know whether posting these was a good idea or not, because I have a feeling that you are a sex offender and that this may put you over the edge and make you do things I don’t want you to do. But reality is that this girl is 17 and in a bikini, it’s not like she’s sitting out with her vagina exposed giving herself a diddle, which is something you’d probably want to do, because that’s just the kind of guy you are. So that’s why I am posting it.

Reality is that the difference between 17 and 18 is barely there. 17 year olds go to bars, party, get drunk, get naked, have blowjob parties and all the same shit their 18 year old friends are doing. That invisible line that is defined by their birthdays is irrelevant and the reason why it’s no illegal to hook up with one in Canada, but you Americans are missing out on all the fun with the risk of Jail and all that shit that comes with hooking up with one. I am not saying that you should all pack your bags and move to Canada to park outside highschools to offer girls a lift home, but I am saying that if you were in Canada, that’s probably what you would be doing, if you weren’t too scared to leave your mom’s basement, which I highly doubt you’d ever have the confidence to do. It’s so warm and comforting to have you bed made everyday and your laundry done and folded for you and there’s always food in the fridge…why would you ever want to leave. Sure some people call you a loser, but they are just jealous with how good you’ve got it, and girls probably won’t want to bang you, but I don’t know if you should be so quick to blame your living situation, I am sure it has more to do with the fact that you’re just a loser in all facets of your life.

Here are those Daveigh Chase bikini pics, you fucking pervert.

Related Posts:

Daveigh Chase Bikini Pics
Britney Spears Thong Bikini Pictures
Keisha Buchanan Bikini Thong Pictures
Leilani Ass in a Bikini Pictures
Lohan’s Ass in a Bikini Picture

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Daveigh Chase|Thong|Unsorted

2007

Sep

I am -Dancing Girls at the Mall of the Day

1 Comment »

So my friend from the park went out and got this funny video of girls dancing in the mall, I don’t find it all that hot, because I like my women a lot more haggard, but Harley is a pervert and this is what he had to say:

These are some high school girls dancing at a local mall. You care because you hate women and yourself, and the idea of pretty teenage girls being unknowingly caught on film and posted on the internet kind of gets you off. That’s why you have a boner right now, even though they’re wearing clothes,

I care because when I was their age, girls never paid any attention to me — especially the pretty ones. In fact, the only girl who did was the school skank that I lost my virginity to, and she paid attention to anyone that her daddy would hate. The whole time we dated, she was still banging her 18-year-old ex who drove a Mustang. I put up with it because I have no car, a small penis, low self-esteem. Coincidentally, those are the same reasons why she dumped me.

Anyway, a couple years later, I heard that someone walked in on her, her dog, and a jar of peanut butter. Even though that’s a played out urban legend, I believe it because the memory of her makes me feel worse about myself than I normally do.

Snuggles,
Harley Houston

Posted in:stepDAYDREAM|stepMOVIES|stepTV|Unsorted