DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2007

15

Aug

I am – Anne Hathaway is Trying to Prove that she Isn’t Boring of the Day

Yesterday I came across the pictures of Anne Hathaway and her lame boyfriend on some lame romantic getaway on some yacht that I would love to have a topless yacht party on and bitch was wearing a fucking bed sheet. Being a pervert, I couldn’t grasp what slut was doing wearing a bed sheet when spending all this money on having a good fucking time with her boyfriend. I figured if she wanted to stay covered up and frigid, she could just have stayed home alone with her cats, a good book and maybe even a couple pints of ice cream and some romantic comedies. But it turns out that I was wrong, which is usually the case or at least based on pretty much every experience of my life, it’s been the case and bitch is here showing us all how sexy and wild she can get.

Speaking of being wrong, I remember hanging out with the guys at the park a while ago and one of them was telling us all a story about how his friend used to jerk off with his other friend when they were in college. He said that they made a nightly event of it like playing a fucking Magic card tournament or whatever the fuck dudes who jerk off together in college do. They would throw on a porn and go at it to see who came the fastest, hardest and the most. I was pretty surprised by the story and thought it was as closet case faggot as you can get, but one of the other dudes who was with me said it wasn’t a big deal and that when he was in high school his dentist used to jerk him off and that he wasn’t gay. I don’t really know where I am going with this, but it turned out the dudes I thought were gay turned out that they weren’t and that was an example of being wrong.

I guess Anne Hathaway reminded me of this story because I think you’re probably jerking off with your buddy right now and here are the pictures of her licking dudes nipple, the picture of her lookin like she’s giving him a blowjob and pictures of her drinking, jet skiing and slutting it out. She may be doing it for the camera but who really gives a fuck because she’s in a bikini and I am pretty easy going when it comes to bitches in bikinis and I try not to look that far past trying to make out her vagina definition that the bikini’s making. I was under the impression that bitch had way bigger tits, but maybe it’s just the fact that she’s wearing her grandmother’s bikini from the 50s that’s keeping her junk in lockdown.

Related Posts:

Anne Hathaway Boring Romantic Getaway
Rebecca Gayheart Topless on a Yacht
Abigail Clancy Topless on a Yacht

2007

15

Aug

I am – Anne Hathaway is Trying to Prove that she Isn't Boring of the Day

1 Comment »

Yesterday I came across the pictures of Anne Hathaway and her lame boyfriend on some lame romantic getaway on some yacht that I would love to have a topless yacht party on and bitch was wearing a fucking bed sheet. Being a pervert, I couldn’t grasp what slut was doing wearing a bed sheet when spending all this money on having a good fucking time with her boyfriend. I figured if she wanted to stay covered up and frigid, she could just have stayed home alone with her cats, a good book and maybe even a couple pints of ice cream and some romantic comedies. But it turns out that I was wrong, which is usually the case or at least based on pretty much every experience of my life, it’s been the case and bitch is here showing us all how sexy and wild she can get.

Speaking of being wrong, I remember hanging out with the guys at the park a while ago and one of them was telling us all a story about how his friend used to jerk off with his other friend when they were in college. He said that they made a nightly event of it like playing a fucking Magic card tournament or whatever the fuck dudes who jerk off together in college do. They would throw on a porn and go at it to see who came the fastest, hardest and the most. I was pretty surprised by the story and thought it was as closet case faggot as you can get, but one of the other dudes who was with me said it wasn’t a big deal and that when he was in high school his dentist used to jerk him off and that he wasn’t gay. I don’t really know where I am going with this, but it turned out the dudes I thought were gay turned out that they weren’t and that was an example of being wrong.

I guess Anne Hathaway reminded me of this story because I think you’re probably jerking off with your buddy right now and here are the pictures of her licking dudes nipple, the picture of her lookin like she’s giving him a blowjob and pictures of her drinking, jet skiing and slutting it out. She may be doing it for the camera but who really gives a fuck because she’s in a bikini and I am pretty easy going when it comes to bitches in bikinis and I try not to look that far past trying to make out her vagina definition that the bikini’s making. I was under the impression that bitch had way bigger tits, but maybe it’s just the fact that she’s wearing her grandmother’s bikini from the 50s that’s keeping her junk in lockdown.

Related Posts:

Anne Hathaway Boring Romantic Getaway
Rebecca Gayheart Topless on a Yacht
Abigail Clancy Topless on a Yacht

2007

14

Aug

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

1 Comment »

It turns out that I slept on a lot of bikini picture sets today and that’s too bad. There was Jenna Jameson and I had them all lined up with a post in mind about AIDS and Porn and then there was Pam Anderson and I am sure there were others. I guess I am just slowly getting back intot he groove. The good thing is that I have the stepLINKS to pick up my slack, so here are a bunch of links I thought were worth checking out and being no authority on what’s good, you can click them at your own risk. Cuddles.

Jenna Jameson Looking Like HIV Bikini Pictures
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Nicole Richie’s Boob’s Keep Getting Bigger Cuz She’s Pregnant
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FHM Australia Hottie Isabel Lucas is Worth Lookin’ At before She Realizes She’s Too Good For You…
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Fatty or Farm Animal?
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Diane Kruger See Through Bikini Top
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Some Blind Girl Playing Helen Keller Falls Off Stage
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Greek Police Beat Up Some Kid Held in Custody
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Obama Girls Vs the Giuliani GIrls Video Dance Off…
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Some Chick Named Jelena For You….
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The Worst Celebrity Tans
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Sophie Marceau in a Bathing Suit on a Yacht Because Summer is Still Here…
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Britney Spears’ Panty-Clad Ass
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Some Evan Rachel Wood Photoshoot You’ll Jerk Off To In Blood Like You Were Marilyn Manson
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Some Pam Anderson Bikini Pictures
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Some Dude Named Zion I Performing at USC
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Some Indian Actress Named Bipasha Basu in Some Revealing Dress
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The Worst Band Ever Caught on Film
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Amy Winehouse is in Rehab with her Boyfriend/Husband/Pete Doherty Impersonator
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Some Mandy Moore on the Golf Course
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Rope Pulling / Tug of War the Japanese Way…
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Do you know what your daughter is up to?
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Mary Kate Olsen Makes Out With Ben Kingsley
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Jessica Alba’s Hard Nipples on the Set of Some New Movie
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The 50 Hottest Women in Music
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Bear Grylls is Hungry and Eating Live Watersnakes…
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Janice Dickinson and Her Tits Humiliate Some Poor Dude
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This is What Swimming in Tokyo is Like…
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Hilary Clinton’s New Political Commercial….If I was American I Would Vote For Her Because she has Tits…
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Some Miss Universe Naked and Posing…
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News Reporter Laughs While Reporting a Fatal Accident…
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How To Make a Laser that Burns Stuff…
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Youtube has Made Cable Access Shows Obsolete. Any Fag With Bad Jokes Can Become Pat O’Dbrien….
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Megan Fox and Gillian Anderson’s Tits are Friends
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Krusher Sent in this Looking Good Sweetheart Set – Scroll Down….
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Former Pornstar Tries to Become a Video “model” while her Brother tries to become an emcee in this online movie….
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Lohan’s getting Sued For Assault…
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Some Beyonce in Lingerie Video Called Deja Vu that You’ve Probably Seen
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Clay Aiken is a Drag Queen and Performs Like One As Singing Justin Timberlake…
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Some Chick Naked in Nature…
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Some American Idol Contestant Goes into Labor When Singing for the Judges
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Some Chick Named Maggie Grace at some Premiere
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Meet Mr No Legs….
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Some Chick Flashing Cars Above the Highway…
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Some Chick Named Slinta Stone in Picture
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Some Drunk Chick in the Bar Acting Up….By Writing Her Name With Her Pussy….
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Pornstar Savanna Samson Explains it All To Us…
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Some Stupid Song Called What ABout Blowjobs…
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Some Naked Amateurs for You…
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This Shit Worked on my Stepdaughter and She’s Got a Vagina – So It’s Worth Trying…
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Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

14

Aug

I am – Anne Hathaway’s Boobs and Boyfriend of the Day

10 Comments »

When I was 5 I was best friends with my rich cousin Peter, who lived in a nice house because his Dad spent the day at work instead of sucking down scotch in the garage. I consider Peter rich because he had an illegal cleaning every day who brought along her 4 year-old kid, Julio. I invented a game that involved a girlfriend, boyfriend, and a dude washing the car. Since Julio was Mexican, he got to be my boyfriend.

So I filled my shirt with socks for boobs, told Peter to start washing the invisible car, sat Julio down in the driver’s seat and put my head in Julio’s lap (just like Mom and Dad), and that’s when the housekeeper appeared and started screaming some shit in Spanish. I don’t know what her deal was. Bitch snatched up Julio, so Peter and I just moved our party to his playroom. I picked up this fancy Fisher-Price singing-machine. There was brown liquid all over the back. It had to be chocolate because Peter was rich and rich people have chocolate. I licked it. It wasn’t chocolate.

Let me put it in terms you can understand: battery acid in your mouth is like poison ivy plus Eastern-European Super-Whore-Herpes all over your dick. After my aunt called a doctor, she had a pow-wow with that bitch housekeeper. The cunt sent me home that day, and every day after that, but I kept coming back. Because that’s what future hookers are like as kids: strays who will eat anything that looks like food, teach porno games to your kids, and molest the help.

I don’t know what Julio is doing these days, but I do know what Anne Hathaway is up to. She is living in a magical land of pretty fireworks and fancy clothes. Here she is on a boring date with her euro-trash boyfriend who is being sued for allegedly spending money from the charity he owns (and she is on the board of) on her and their ritzy Manhattan lifestyle, instead of on starving kids in Venezuela. Go ahead, throw your head back and laugh at the hungry poor people, eat some South American babies for supper, and then make out with your queef-faced swindler, cuz he’s the most exciting thing about you. She does have nice boobs though, i guess, i saw them in “Havoc.” Julio probably grew up to be like the gangbangers in “Havoc.”

Obediently yours,
Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)

Bonus – Anne Hathaway is Totally Unsexy on Her Romantic Getaway with her Jewish Boyfriend as She Kisses Him in Some Bed Sheet Dress….If I Was There, Bitch Would have to be Topless if She Wanted to Board My Ship…

Related Posts:

Anne Hathaway Boring Cleavage of the Day
Brokeback Mountain is not Gay

Posted in:Anne Hathaway|Making Out|Tits|Unsorted

2007

14

Aug

I am – Anne Hathaway's Boobs and Boyfriend of the Day

No Comments »

When I was 5 I was best friends with my rich cousin Peter, who lived in a nice house because his Dad spent the day at work instead of sucking down scotch in the garage. I consider Peter rich because he had an illegal cleaning every day who brought along her 4 year-old kid, Julio. I invented a game that involved a girlfriend, boyfriend, and a dude washing the car. Since Julio was Mexican, he got to be my boyfriend.

So I filled my shirt with socks for boobs, told Peter to start washing the invisible car, sat Julio down in the driver’s seat and put my head in Julio’s lap (just like Mom and Dad), and that’s when the housekeeper appeared and started screaming some shit in Spanish. I don’t know what her deal was. Bitch snatched up Julio, so Peter and I just moved our party to his playroom. I picked up this fancy Fisher-Price singing-machine. There was brown liquid all over the back. It had to be chocolate because Peter was rich and rich people have chocolate. I licked it. It wasn’t chocolate.

Let me put it in terms you can understand: battery acid in your mouth is like poison ivy plus Eastern-European Super-Whore-Herpes all over your dick. After my aunt called a doctor, she had a pow-wow with that bitch housekeeper. The cunt sent me home that day, and every day after that, but I kept coming back. Because that’s what future hookers are like as kids: strays who will eat anything that looks like food, teach porno games to your kids, and molest the help.

I don’t know what Julio is doing these days, but I do know what Anne Hathaway is up to. She is living in a magical land of pretty fireworks and fancy clothes. Here she is on a boring date with her euro-trash boyfriend who is being sued for allegedly spending money from the charity he owns (and she is on the board of) on her and their ritzy Manhattan lifestyle, instead of on starving kids in Venezuela. Go ahead, throw your head back and laugh at the hungry poor people, eat some South American babies for supper, and then make out with your queef-faced swindler, cuz he’s the most exciting thing about you. She does have nice boobs though, i guess, i saw them in “Havoc.” Julio probably grew up to be like the gangbangers in “Havoc.”

Obediently yours,
Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)

Bonus – Anne Hathaway is Totally Unsexy on Her Romantic Getaway with her Jewish Boyfriend as She Kisses Him in Some Bed Sheet Dress….If I Was There, Bitch Would have to be Topless if She Wanted to Board My Ship…

Related Posts:

Anne Hathaway Boring Cleavage of the Day
Brokeback Mountain is not Gay

Posted in:Anne Hathaway|Making Out|Tits|Unsorted

2007

14

Aug

I am – Homeless Cooking Show of the Day

1 Comment »

When I was in Asia I did something I should have never done and that was eat the street food. Everyone told me not to touch the shit they were making on the backs of their bikes because they had no fridges, there was no way of telling how old the food was and I guess I could have landed anything from Feline AIDS to SARS to Avian Flu to whatever else the Chinese are spreading….

I read somewhere that the oil they use to cook with was found in floating on the water in the sewers and that worrying about them coughing on the shit was the least of my fucking concerns. But since I am broke and since I have eaten out of dumpsters, I have eaten rat and other things I’ve randomly come across for survival, I figured it was safe.

After spending 3 days locked down on a toilet thinking that I shat out my heart and even had to look to see if any other organs squirted out with it, I realized that the warnings were probably worth listening too but that doesn’t mean the shit didn’t taste good.

Here’s a video of some homeless lady who probably is the best damn homeless chef out there. She probably brought her kitchen skills from the abusive home she ran away from with her and I am just helping her reach her dreams of teaching the world her craft with this is street cookin’ show.

Posted in:stepTV|Unsorted

2007

14

Aug

I am – Carmen Electra in Her Panties of the Day

1 Comment »

These are supposed to be pictures of Carmen Electra on the balcony in Malibu wearing a T-shirt and a pair of panties. I don’t know if that’s 100 percent true because I am not there to sniff them out. It could very likely be a bathing suit, but I guess who really cares….

The other day I was chatting with some girl on IM because I do that when I am bored and too lazy to venture out into the real world. She told me that she was trying to sell a pair of shoes on ebay because she wanted money to get her tits done. I told her that if she really wanted to make money she should consider selling her used underwear on the internet. I once knew a guy who used to hustle that shit and made a killing. He was a bit of a con artist and would make his girlfriend wipe herself after pissing with a pair of new underwear and he’d use a glue stick to make it look like their was crusty discharge in them. I wanted to get up on his entrepreneurial venture and do the same thing, but at the time I couldn’t convince any of the girls I knew to wear a pair of underwear for a week. Not because they were hygienic but because they didn’t wear underwear because they got in the way of letting dudes fuck them in back alleys.

It was basically the same as how the Japanese streamlined automotive manufacturing by making robots to the job of 10 men. Underwear just got in the way and was one extra step to how they made their money so they wouldn’t go back to that old school way of doing business.

I don’t know if my story made sense to you, but it doesn’t really matter because you can kinda see Carmen Electra’s pussy definition and that’s more interesting than anything I have to say but then again, so are most things…

Related Posts:

Carmen Electra Bikini Pictures
Carmen Electra Shops for Lingerie
Carmen Electra’s Lycra Pants
Carmen Electra’s Itchy Cooch

Posted in:Carmen Electra|Hot|Nipples|Panties|Unsorted

2007

14

Aug

I am – Nicole Richie’s Sheer Maternity Top of the Day

10 Comments »

Here are some pictures of a pregnant Nicole Richie wearing a sheer to to show off her new gut and to remind how much of a slut she was to get in this situation in the first place….I have mixed emotions about pregnant chicks dressing like sluts.

I remember a time when being pregnant meant wearing these big housecoat style dresses that looked more like aprons you’d see the housekeeping crew at a shitty charge by the hour motel than what you’d want your wife to wear. Even thought when your wife is carrying your child you don’t always want her on all fours rockin’ thongs that make you nervous about your future babies life, unless of course you got manipulated into this whole mess by a crazy girl with a sewing needle and your box of condoms, but I doubt that because no one would want to be locked to you for life. But that’s not the point.

The point is that the housecoat maternity wear is definitely not the hottest thing for a woman to wear, even though the immigrant housekeeping staff at a charge by the hour motel usually offers full service, but it is a little more conservative and respectable and allows the world to know that the girl has given up on the party life and is ready to strap the fuck down and be serious.

I guess Nicole Richie, being a rich girl who never had to have any real level of responsibility and who was loose enough in the motherfucking hips, or at least loose enough to not use a condom with some scumbag from some shitty band that would have been better off if their tour bus accidentally drove off of bridge leaving dudes writing hand mangled and his voicebox ripped out…proves that old habits die hard and in about 10 years she’ll be showing her baby girl the best way to smoke heroin.

I am not even going to bother mentioning Mischa Barton in all this, because she’s out of work, not pregnant and not hot enough to bother with today.

Related Posts:

Nicole Richie May Be Pregnant of the Day
Nicole Richie is Pregnant of the Day
Nicole Richie Hiding Her Rat Face From The Camera
Nicole Richie Bikini Throwback

2007

14

Aug

I am – Nicole Richie's Sheer Maternity Top of the Day

No Comments »

Here are some pictures of a pregnant Nicole Richie wearing a sheer to to show off her new gut and to remind how much of a slut she was to get in this situation in the first place….I have mixed emotions about pregnant chicks dressing like sluts.

I remember a time when being pregnant meant wearing these big housecoat style dresses that looked more like aprons you’d see the housekeeping crew at a shitty charge by the hour motel than what you’d want your wife to wear. Even thought when your wife is carrying your child you don’t always want her on all fours rockin’ thongs that make you nervous about your future babies life, unless of course you got manipulated into this whole mess by a crazy girl with a sewing needle and your box of condoms, but I doubt that because no one would want to be locked to you for life. But that’s not the point.

The point is that the housecoat maternity wear is definitely not the hottest thing for a woman to wear, even though the immigrant housekeeping staff at a charge by the hour motel usually offers full service, but it is a little more conservative and respectable and allows the world to know that the girl has given up on the party life and is ready to strap the fuck down and be serious.

I guess Nicole Richie, being a rich girl who never had to have any real level of responsibility and who was loose enough in the motherfucking hips, or at least loose enough to not use a condom with some scumbag from some shitty band that would have been better off if their tour bus accidentally drove off of bridge leaving dudes writing hand mangled and his voicebox ripped out…proves that old habits die hard and in about 10 years she’ll be showing her baby girl the best way to smoke heroin.

I am not even going to bother mentioning Mischa Barton in all this, because she’s out of work, not pregnant and not hot enough to bother with today.

Related Posts:

Nicole Richie May Be Pregnant of the Day
Nicole Richie is Pregnant of the Day
Nicole Richie Hiding Her Rat Face From The Camera
Nicole Richie Bikini Throwback

2007

14

Aug

I am – Lohan is Named the Maxim 10th Anniversary Cover Girl for September Sneak Peak of the Day

7 Comments »

So it turns out that the people at Maxim are into the same kind of women as me. You know, barely legal, addicted to drugs, with panties that are filled with money, herpes, men’s cock and a vagina that is always ready to have a good time. She is a pornstar without showing penetration on video, although after watching every single one of her movies I’ve felt totally prison raped, she’s Lohan and when I was away, she was put away. So seeing her grace the pages of a magazine in picture and in interview is a nice welcome home to me.

I have realized that I will never get to hang out with Lohan by the pool drinking cocktails. She will probably either be dead or committed and even if she had maintained her life livin’ the dream, she’d never take the time out for me. I have been trying to stalk her for about 2 years, I thought I found her on facebook, myspace, AIM, Google Talk. I had her phone number and would call her and never get an answer, so I guess I am forced to accept defeat and move on. It is going to be hard, goodbyes are never easy, especially when you’re not leaving by choice. I guess what it comes down to is that Lohan is done to me, but her tits will always have a place on this site when no one else wants to let her in off the street for a shower and a warm meal….

I was just outside and saw two girls thuggin’ it out. They were rehearsing some rap song while shopping for groceries with their mom. They were saying shit about a girl they had bagged who was five foot six and really knew how to suck some dick and I found the whole thing pretty awkward because the younger one’s dance move was simulating giving a blowjob. I blame them for my slow start to the day…and I blame the Disney Channel for giving them such shitty idols. Cuddles.

If You Want to see all the pictures and read the interview because I was too Lazy to Upload Them…
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