DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2022

05

Apr

Alessandra Ambrosio Bikini of the Day

Alessandra Ambrosio, who has a similar story as IZA GOULART who I just posted…Some Brazilian model brought to America to work for the biggest underwear brand before it was cancelled….now pushing 40 and looking better than they did when they were in their 20s…confusing me, but not enough to not stare at their crotches to determine if they were born dude, still equipped with balls…or born dude rocking an AI cunt, or born woman, rocking a biological cunt…making her bikini pics in some epic place broke asses like us aren’t allowed like an obstacle course, scavenger hunt, trivia night, murder mystery night….WE NEED THE TRUTH..but not really…because I’ll stare at the bikini pics either way.

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Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio

2022

05

Apr

Izabel Goulart’s Crazy Fit Ass of the Day

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Izabel Goulart is some near 40 year old Brazilian model who you may or may not remember as being a Victoria’s Secret model back when Victoria’s Secret was some dream brand to be a model for, that made a girl feel like one of the hottest women in the world, before the whole being cancelled for not casting fat chicks or trannies (WINK WINK)….because I am of the school of thought that all the Brazilian models ware trannies, only because I worked in porn when Tranny porn was making huge moves in popularity, and the biggest trans stars were Brazilian…plus I’ve known a few freaks over the years into that kind of thing who travel between Brazil and South East asia for their LADY BOYS….

It would make sense for a hard bodied Brazilian transgender to work for an underwear brand, no PERIODS, (just exclamation marks or is it an eclamation points).

Goulart’s still working, this is some paparazzi bikini times and her body is fucking fit as fuck…..she basically moved back to Brazil to do health and fitness and tan and her body delivers at a level of even if her balls were tucked into herself, you’d suck the man clit with vigor even though you’re not into that kind of thing…

I don’t think she’s a man, but she could be, I do think she’s got a rocking body, which could be a man’s body, but it’s a reminder that fitness can make a straight man bang trans, so if you’re a trans out there looking to trap straight men for your LGBTQ gang initiation, hit the fucking gym and do whatever is going on here, rather than looking like a multi-colored hair fat as fuck cat lady a lot of them look like…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Izabel Goulart

2022

05

Apr

Things to Wear to the Beach Tuesday of the Day

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Things to wear to the beach, or really to wear anywhere you want to go, assuming you’re a lady or you identify as a lady, because we’re a progressive species where men wear lady bathing suits, and I don’t give a fuck, so long as I have fair warning because I’m not into being trapped or misled into jerking off to a dude with a hot female-like ass, especially on the internet, where you can basically edit or filter a old Asian man into a hot California girl….totally distorting our sense of reality and paving the way for an accidental jerk off to someone with a dick….It’s happened to the best of us….I blame the internet for all my woes.

The point is, I love the bikini or swim pic, it is the foundation of the internet to me, which is probably why I am not a dot com millionaire, I should have thought the foundation of the internet was modernizing brick and mortar services, you know offering a taxi alternative, a banking alternative, a currency alternative, but instead I just mindlessly look at bikini pics, more wholesome than throat fucking porn, but about as useless…NO REGRATS!

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Posted in:swimsuit

2022

05

Apr

Padma Lakshmi Bikini of the Day

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Padma Lakshmi, the billion dollar pussy, that’s had not one, but two billionaires cum inside her at basically the same time, so there was some level of confusion of who the biological dad was…

No judgement here, if you’ve got a pussy, you should all be using it for personal gain, or at least for your child’s gain…why the fuck would you bother dealing with broke ass losers when there are desperate rich guy losers out there….

That is something I’ll never understand from ladies, maybe they should take a little more Padma’s pussy strategy of dating rich as shit dudes, because life may not be transactional and love may not be transactional, but it makes for a better fucking life and investing your time into a dude who may never make it when you can get a dude who has made it, makes sense. That’s why dudes try to make money, for the pussy bro.

Anyway, she’s 50 years old has rocking bikini body and a nice tan that probably doesn’t think her pussy is the billion dollar pussy, you know like the comic strip someone should make….but rather just a girl who knows how to give billionaires what they want, in their circle, it’s not her fault they are rich as shit, it’s just who she knows….you know sugar babies have excuses for why they are sugar babies, my favorite hustle they do is buy dinner on the first date, that’s the way a billionaire will be gamed into thinking she makes her own money, she’s generous, no one ever pays for them…kind of thing.

They should teach courses to girls out there on how to bag billionaires, Padma should launch the school, I bet bikinis will be part of the equation, cuz billionaires aren’t buying dumpy ass bitches, they need to be YACHT ready for the YACHT party….and Padma, even in her old age..clearly is.

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Posted in:Padma Lakshmi

2022

05

Apr

Tight Pant Tuesday of the Dayt

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Tight pants are a wonderful advancement in the human experience or in human technology.

We could sit here and list all the horrible thing that technology has done to humanity, from surveillance of citizens, to digital ids….social media…the internet…even in food production that put chemicals in our foods to increase profits of the producers….ALWAYS BE INCREASING PROFITS…transhumanism, EMFs, cellphone cancers, you know there’s a lot of fucking shit that you can thank technology for destroying what would have been an otherwise much more peaceful existence….all traded in for convenience and profits for greepy scumbags who don’t care about you, the planet, no matter what lies they tell you.

But we should sit here and list all the good things technology has brought us, some half glass full shit, the world is too fucking negative, let’s not add to that, or bring light to that, when we are at the able to appreciate the slutty nature of ladies, posting slutty content on the internet because it’s fun, or thrilling, in pants that have been made with technology to be as tight as fucking possible, second skin, where even an old dumpy expired ass could look like a fit young ass….and when you’re not fucking that old dumpy ass, or seeing it naked, it makes going to the old folks home to volunteer and read to the old people so much hotter.

What I am saying is I like tight pants enough to do a dedicated post to the girls who post their tight pants like the HEROES they are.

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Posted in:Tight Pants

2022

05

Apr

Inbar Lavi Topless Coconuts of the Day

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Inbar Lavi’s got a lovely bunch of coconuts….right? RIGHT!! RIGHHHHHHHT?

There’s nothing like a good old fashioned picture of some idiot chick holding any spherical object, from Tennis Ball, to Watermelon, to Cantelope, to Balloons at a Kid’s McDonald’s birthday party, in front of their tits….to be like ‘TITS’….

I guess, there’s a lot of things that are better than a girl making a silly big titty pose, like spreading her ass and putting things inside herself, but you can’t do that on instagram….

So we’ll take the “I get naked on the beach”….she’s wild like that, free spirited, a modern day hippie…..holding some coconuts instead of just showing her tits, because it’s tropical, thematic, on brand….perfect prop….until you realize the perfect prop would be just showing us the damn titties…

She is an Israeli spy/and/or/actress, in some shit I’ve never seen, as a child, she suffered from asthma[4] and had to use a nebulizer for 45 minutes at a time, fascinating….at 17 she moved to America and got rich and famous as an actor, as you do, when you’re an immigrant with a dream…

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Posted in:Inbar Lavi

2022

05

Apr

Erika Christensen Cleavage of the Day

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Erika Christensen, who I always confuse for being Hayden Christensen, Rachel Bilson’s ex husband and baby daddy who kept her in captivity at the Canadian farm many years ago, because it’s Canada and I am sure I’ve known at least one person who fucked his sister….I just googled his sister’s name and saw he’s coming back to Star Wars, once a Disney Kid, always a Disney kid I guess.

This Christensen is some Scientologist freak….who has defended Scientology to the haters, despite it being an anti-Christian religion for satanic freaks in Hollywood…not that I know anything about Scientology except for it keeping a lot of actors in the closet….

I only remember her from Swimfan, because a friend’s dad was obsessed with the show, they lived together and every time I went over he’d be watching her a little too intently…

I don’t now what else she’s done, I’m not going to bother digging, I’m only here for the uneventful mom tits.

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Posted in:Erika Christensen

2022

05

Apr

Brec Bassinger Bikini of the Day

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Brec Bassinger is not Kim Basinger’s daughter, she’s just trying to steal some of Ireland Baldwin’s Glory, but that Amazonian will stomp out any motherfucker who encroaches on her empire of daddy issues, sadness, prison tattoos and legitimately failing at being an influencer when she had a budget, famous parents, and big old tits.

Brec doesn’t seem to have the prison tattoos but she could be sad, daddy issued, or at least chewed up and eaten out by the entertainment industry she’s a part of….I don’t know, I’m googling her to see who the fuck she is…

22 year old from Texas, with type 1 diabetes, a brother named Beric, her other brother Brice, she’s Brec…tell me you’re a tacky white suburban family, the kind with that shitty Target home wall art that reads “Family” with some dumb pun….

She’s also in Stargirl from DC Universe, but I don’t understand any of that comic book shit…I just know it’s part of the cultural decline of America….it’s on The CW, so she matters….hence the bikini pics to enforce her being sold off to the industry.

It’s a skinny body….good enough for me to look at, better than the other Bassinger who I would imagine would be like a crow eating up a sparrow if she realized this Bassinger was trying to be top Bassinger..

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Posted in:Brec Bassinger

2022

05

Apr

Tiny Tits Tuesday of the Day

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Tiny tits are a lot of fun, haven’t you ever heard that good things come in small packages.

I don’t know if I’ve been indoctrinated by the media, you know loving small tits because fit ladies with hot bodies typically have smaller tits than their counter parts, but I’m pretty sure the narrative that gets blamed on us misogynists is that girls are only valid if they have big tits, something TikTok confirms or reaffirms over and over again on the daily, enough to make a small titty girl think their small tits don’t matter, not realizing that so many perverts out there, want to make their small tits matter, because they do matter…maybe not as much as their fit stomach, lean legs or round fit asses…but they matter.

Maybe I’m just being contrarian, a word I only learned during covid, some motherfucker who just instinctively goes against the narrative, not because the narrative is wrong, but because motherfucker thinks he’s too cool for school, but that can’t be it….since I’ve always thought small tits were as great as big tits, I guess I’m inclusive when it comes to real tits…all tit lives matter, now let me milk em like a starving child.