DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2024

01

Feb

Elsa Pataky’s got a Fit Mom Ass of the Day

Elsa Pataky is Chris Hemsworth’s older wife. She seems to be keeping up with her younger husband by staying fit thanks to living in Australia on a pile of his super celebrity THOR money…..

I guess when you’re a celebrity known for being a hot chick, you have to do all that you can to maintain your body into your 50s…and I can tell you that the thong bikini wearing Spaniard is clearly doing all she can to stay fuckable…..

She’s too old for a thong, but committed to the thong and as of recently, I’ve developed a thong fetish….

Her ass is muscular, which may offend some of you soft ass loving perverts, but at her age, it’s better than being a sloppy inverted ass that looks like it is eating itself becuase of the aging proceess.

I don’t like moms, I respect them because they are doing what the good lord intended for them….and breeding is the whole point of life…but sexually, I don’t like moms.

I don’t like old ladies, they generally smell like diapers and Werthers Originals…but when a decent ass appears on a Celebrity turned celebrity wife…It may be antique but I think it’s worth staring at…

Posted in:Elsa Pataky

2024

01

Feb

Eiza Gonzalez’s New Face Promoting Bullshit of the Day

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You know, I talk about Stefan a lot and he gets mad at me all the time, because I call him hairdresser and he prefers being called a fashist-bro….involved in the New York fashion scene from afar while knowing nothing about fashion…being a homosexual who has a titty fetish and who still titty fucks girls for jokes despite being gay. I thought that was weird thing to want clarified but as a reputable news source, I’m all for the retarction and correction….

That said, he recently sent me an Eiza Gonzalez picture and asked me “Where did her Mexican Face Go”…..which I guess was in reference to all the work she’s done that has made her into an instagram AI face. You know, one of those living sex dolls that looks like a middle aged chick married to rich dudes in their designer clothing.

I guess she still gets acting work, despite turning herself into a porn face, I just don’t know when she’ll stop the fillers, injections and other procedures because girl’s looking weird…

Posted in:Eiza González

2024

01

Feb

Ariana Grande’s Creepy Promo Picture of the Day

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Ariana Grande who is responsible for anti-American commentary at the donut shop many years ago, which the internet seems to have forgotten, but that I’ll never forget because my brain is stuck in an era of many years ago…and well because that’s the last time I paid attention to Ariana Grande gossip.

I guess she’s also been responsible for at least one ex-boyfriend death, because she could have saved Mac Miller man…not that anyone really cares, maybe a few people care, but we have our own problems and wasting time on Fentanyl idiots is a waste of time. I am a firm believer in banning Narcan because I have no sympathy for addicts, and if you’re an addict and are too much of a baby to fight your addiction, and you end up die of Fentanyl that’s your right, that’s your calling, that is you doing what you love….

Point of the story, Grande’s outfit reminds me a little too much of the Satanic newborn section at the Hollywood clothing store…a romper with a lot of demonic red….

The other point of the story is whether you think the former teen star was diddled by industry creepers….

I’m not a betting man, but maybe running bets on which celebs have been diddled is my million dollar idea…

Fuck sports betting, Celebs Diddled Betting is the future…..Anyone at FanDuel want to build out the platform for me?

Posted in:Ariana Grande

2024

01

Feb

AVN EBNER of the Day

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The AVN’s happened last week. I was a judge at the AVNs for Two years a bunch of years ago, but then one of the title sponsors found out and wanted me dead, thanks to me having written a post about his girlfriend’s asshole being blown out, which I guess rubbed his porno ego the wrong way….so NO MORE AVN judging for me.

To make fun of me, a legitimate Journalist named MARK EBNER (he has a WIKIPEDIA and has WRITTEN BOOKS decided to apply for a press pass as a journalist for Drunken Stepfather….Hilarious right….

Well, I told him that he should do an actual journalistic deep dig while there because why the fuck not. Let’s legitimize this site, let’s go for the gold, let’s get that Pulitzer….

And instead he sent me these pics and this story:

AVN was infinitely more fun than Sundance.

Thanks for the insight Mark, but the reality is, I wasn’t expecting anything from him, just the reminder that I suck at life and he’s better at being DrunkenStepfather than me.

Here are those AVN red carpet pics, until Next Time, when Oprah applies for a Press Pass under DrunkenStepfather, cuz motherfucker, we’re moving on up….after this investigative report….

AVN was infinitely more fun than Sundance.

Awesome. I think the cool kids used to say “cool story bro”….so cool story bro.

Posted in:AVN Awards

2024

01

Feb

Naomi Kyoti is the Instagram Of The Day

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Naomi Kyoti is some big tits that has an OnlyFans….and that’s about the extent of all we need to know about Naomi Kyoti….because that’s all there is to her…and we shouldn’t waste our time giving unnecessary attention to just another girl on the instagram machine making the noise and wanting your money…while not actually caring about you, your feelings, or even basic customer service….I’ll tell you why I’m mad….I’m not actually mad, only mad that I didn’t create OnlyFans because that dude makes 2,000,000 dollars a day…..

Image Credit – Instagram

Posted in:Instagram Babe

2024

31

Jan

stepLINKS of the Day

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In trying to establish just how irrelevant this website is, I decided to apply for press passes pretending I am a media outlet. I mean 40,000 people end up here every day, that may not be the 200,000 I once had but that means something…

Anyway, I figured that the new generation think I am irrelevant because the old generation think I am irrelevant, I have no influence, impact on anything, it’s not a big deal, it’s just how it is…..

So I applied for press passes to a Music Festival, not even something relevant like the Oscars, the Grammys, the American Music Awards…but some music festival and this is how it went down:

I wrote:

Will you give DrunkenStepfather.com press passes to your event so that I can dance on laps like old times?

DrunkenStepfather is the premiere worst site on the internet that NOBODY reads….

It makes no MONEY, therefore PRESS PASSES are necessary for me to get my DANCE on…

Don’t you want to see me dance?

You like seeing me dance, don’t you.

You sick fuck.

They responded:

Unfortunately we cannot credential you to cover the festival.

I wrote:

Due to your mean spirited rejection – I’ve lost all meaning, all purpose.

I feel so hurt….I feel so alone….I feel so irrelevant….

I feel like I don’t matter, like my website doesn’t matter, like 20 years of updating pop culture BULLSHIT in hopes that one day I’d be granted Press Passes has been a waste of my time.

Thanks to you, I’ve realized that uploading all that content to millions of loyal readers just doesn’t matter.

The music festival thinks I suck dick, but not in a good way, like the DJ whore sucking DJ dick to get in the VIP room…

The music festival thinks that I suck the kind of DICK so bad that it isn’t even worthy of getting into the press room….

I mean this rejection letter may be the worst rejection I’ve ever had….this may be the one that puts me over the edge.

My mom giving me up at the age of 10 to a foster family due to her HIV getting the best of her from a life of prostitution was pretty bad….BUT THIS…. THIS is unbearable.

I feel like my insides have been brutally ripped apart like that time I was in prison with that very aggressive man….only this time it is far less sexual…

YOU ARE MEAN

How do you LIVE with YOURSELF knowing how SNOBBY and MEAN you are.

I am sure deciding who the COOL kids are, who the RELEVANT kids are, like some kind of overlord of COOL makes you feel special and important….but the truth is YOU ARE A MONSTER!!

They should make HORROR movies about you….

“Attack of The Media Accreditation Email Person”…..STARRING YOU!

They never responded….it’s been weeks now….I don’t think they will…but there’s still a chance they will right….it’s like being a SIMP in a dating scenario….ONLY the truth is, I’m not going to a music festival even if I got the press passes….I’m lazy and old but it’s nice to be reminded that I don’t matter!

Here are some stepLINKS….

Eugenie Bouchard Relaxes in Aspen!
LICK HERE

Bella Thorne Forgets Her Shirt!
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Serena Williams is Island Hopping!
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OH SHIT! (GIF)
LICK HERE

Two-year-old kid runs onto a football field, and his mom tackles him
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Gifts To Get the Lady In Your Life!
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Cars driving over massive potholes
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Collection of funny pictures
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Helicopter crashes on a highway
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Rita Ora’s Bikini Selfie!
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OOPS I DID IT AGAIN!
LICK HERE

FINALLY, I CAN GET MY REVENGE
LICK HERE

21 Texts That Prove Moms Shouldn’t Have Phones
LICK HERE

Amanda Cerny’s Hot Tub Time Machine!
LICK HERE

Olivia Wilde Nipple Pokies in an All-White Outfit!
LICK HERE

Sultry Elegance: Yanet Garcia’s Revealing Lingerie Shoot – A Symphony of Curves!
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Giant RC jet plane worth $35,000 crashes and explodes
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On Set With Dakota Johnson!
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Kristin Cavallari’s Little Black Dress!
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Key cast chosen for ‘SNL 1975’
LICK HERE

Very strange cars competing at the drag strip
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Driver and passenger run out of the car right before it falls down a mountain
LICK HERE

10 Items From Tana Mongeau’s Amazon Wishlist!
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17 Rental Car Horror Stories
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Using Her Head (GIF)
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Sophie Turner’s Snowy Pool Day!
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Anne Hathaway – getting ready for Albie Awards
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Some of the best lowrider cars in actions
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Joy Corrigan’s Sultry Palm Springs Photo Shoot: A Bootylicious Display!
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Bella Thorne Forgets Her Shirt!
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Driver bounces his fancy Maybach, police asks him to stop, he doesn’t listen
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Rosie Huntington-Whiteley’s Fitness Inspiration!
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Tiny engine gets fitted inside a model car
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Élodie Frégé Cleavage and Nipple Pokies!
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USER UPLOADS: WEEKLY MASHUP
LICK HERE

20 Hot And Sexy Cosplay Girls
LICK HERE

World Champion Speedskater Jutta Leerdam Stays Fit!
LICK HERE

15 Funny Doggy Shower Thoughts
LICK HERE

Compilation of the funniest Japanese pranks
LICK HERE

IT WASN’T THAT BIG OF A DEAL
LICK HERE

Cargo plane crashes into a New Hampshire town
LICK HERE

Talking parrot activates Siri on an iPhone
LICK HERE

Livvy Dunne Gets Free Louis Vuitton!
LICK HERE

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Find Sugar Babies
LICK HERE!!!!

MAKE ME RICH OFF THE BACK OF THESE CAM GIRLS
LICK HERE!!!!

===============
From the Forum

===============

Emma Stone – The Late Show with Stephen Colbert in New York
LICK HERE

Alexandra Daddario – Harpers Bazaar (Taiwan)
LICK HERE

Victoria Beckham – Arriving at JFK airport in New York City
LICK HERE

Kat Graham – Jean-Paul Gaultier show at Paris Fashion Week
LICK HERE

Jennifer Lopez – Leggings for the gym in Los Angeles
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Alison Brie – Buying more toilet paper in Los Angeles
LICK HERE

Sadie Stanley – Somewhere In Queens reception in Los Angeles
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Yvonne Strahovski – Scrambled premiere in Los Angeles
LICK HERE

Kimberley Garner – Seen out in Miami Beach
LICK HERE

Bryce Dallas Howard – Outside Good Morning America in NYC
LICK HERE

===============
From stepSMUT!!

(LINKS BELOW ARE NSFW!)
===============

Come onnn Titty! (GIF)
LICK HERE

Naturi Naughton Naked and Pregnant!
LICK HERE

Sweetie Care And Her Great Big Pair Get Bare At XL Girls
LICK HERE

Giving Herself A Concussion (GIF)
LICK HERE

DOMESTIC DISPUTES
LICK HERE

Australian model in nude and leaked pics and videos
LICK HERE

Standing For the Dildo in the Butt
LICK HERE

Onna Metcalf Fruit Yourself Zishy
LICK HERE

Louise Bordeaux Big Wet Tits
LICK HERE

AMATEUR MEAT: MILLIE
LICK HERE

Lily Starfire Brings Pancakes and Pussy!
LICK HERE

Lucky Neighbor
LICK HERE

Michele Brand topless in A Piece of Sky (2022)
LICK HERE

Raven Lane in Stay In Ravens Lane at BaDoinkVR
LICK HERE

Left or Right?
LICK HERE

Big Boobie Asian Chick Ruanruan via All Gravure
LICK HERE

‘Skinny Dip’ with Son Ye-eun via All Gravure
LICK HERE

Dildo Humpin!
LICK HERE

LEARN TO COOK WITH ALRNCN
LICK HERE

WTF MOMENTS
LICK HERE

Literally For The Streets
LICK HERE

Cristy Ren and Her Impressive Cleavage!
LICK HERE

Rebecca Bagnol Topless photoshoot by Alexis Paoleschi Summer 2023
LICK HERE

DAMN! So Sexy on the Runway and…. Oops!
LICK HERE

Ali They Taught Me Some New Things Today Exploited College Girls
LICK HERE

Unlocking the Scandal: Jessica White’s Dazzling Topless Shoot Unveiled!
LICK HERE

Amazing Titties (GIF)
LICK HERE

Payton Preslee Curvy Squirting
LICK HERE

‘Open Hydro’ with Lupe via Photodromm
LICK HERE

Titty Drop with Vibration!
LICK HERE

Alexsis Faye Social Media Pics
LICK HERE

Julia Rayner and Jenny Pickering naked in Topsy Turvy (1999)
LICK HERE

Fleur Conradi is sexy AF
LICK HERE

The Fuck Was That? (GIF)
LICK HERE

Busty Danielle Sellers via Hayley’s Secrets
LICK HERE

McDonald’s Ass!
LICK HERE

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

///////////////////////////////////////////

FOLLOW ME INTO THE DARKNESS ON SOCIAL MEDIA:
INSTAGRAM | FACEBOOK | Patreon! | SNAPCHAT | Follow
stepTV YouTube | FUCK TWITTER THEY KEEP DELETING ME! | SHOP THE SWEATSHOP

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———————————-

Fuck Girls Who Are Out of Your League….
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Fuck Fleshlights, They’re Amazing
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Girls Girls Girls – Support These Cam Girls By Falling In Love With Them
LICK HERE!!!!

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:stepLINKS

2024

31

Jan

Padma Lakshmi’s Cooking with Tits of the Day

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Padma’s TV show may not be called cooking with tits, I don’t know if she’s even an actual cook, or if that’s some polarizing scam she’s pulled.

I just know that she doesn’t use her breast milk for her recipes….not that she’s still got breast milk but if she did it would probably be spoiled breast milk, maybe even yogurt breast milk, perfect for her Mango Lassi drink that she’s being paid to promote because she’s Indian….CULTURAL APPROPRIATION!

I do know that she still uses her breasts to get noticed, the 50 year old who makes babies with multiple billionaires because she’s mastered the system in seducing billionaires, recently did SI Swim despite being old, showing off the tits, now she’s in tight clothing showing off the tits….so we should help her monetize the tits, even though her vaginas done all the monetizing it needs to, at least for her billion dollar baby….

Posted in:Padma Lakshmi

2024

31

Jan

Anna Kochanius is the Instagram Of The Day

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Anna Kochanius has a lot of followers on her instagram, she’s almost got 600,000 followers who are clearly there for all the right reasons.

Her instagram bio reads “genetically gifted” and I have no idea what she could possibly mean by that, but I’ll assume she’s talking about her tits.

Some may see that as small titty shaming, some “LOOK HOW MUCH BETTER I AM THAN YOU”….because of the big tits, but the truth is she could be talking about something else.

Maybe she has a strong immune system, maybe she’s a fast runner, maybe she is able to jump high…maybe she has 20/20 vision, I don’t know what other genetic gifts she could mean, so I’ll keep assuming she’s talking about her tits and really with tits like this, that’s probably all you can talk about, it’s all anyone notices, it’s all anyone wants, it’s all she is…a giant set of tits and clearly that’s enough!

Image Credit – Instagram

Posted in:Instagram Babe

2024

31

Jan

What has Kelly Gale’s Tits Been Up To of the Day

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I am a pretty fucking lazy person who is not really interested in anything celebrity, pop culture, model, babe, half naked chick, porn chick…it’s all really repetitive and dull…I just update this site angrily because I have a mental problem.

So I haven’t really checked in on Kelly Gale, in fact if it wasn’t for my hairdresser friend who is not gay, despite being a little limp in the wrists, I would have forgot her all together, but he just loves her tits and trying to figure out if they are real, gel packs, inserts or a combination of being half Swedish and half Indian, raised the slut breeding Australa…

As it turns out, she still doing some model shit, she still has the tits, and overall, I think she’s pretty lovely….remnants of Victoria’s Secret Past….revisiting us in social media hipster slut content….FUN.

Posted in:Kelly Gale

2024

31

Jan

Dora Madison Burge Beach Bikini of the Day

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Dora Madison Burge is some old Hollywood icon, they call her Janes Mansfield cuz her head game strong…

I don’t know what that means, but I do know that Jane Mansfield was decapitated and I assume all the lower level actresses who tried to make it in a pre-social media era were good at sucking dick….they are actors, best be as fucking performative as you fucking can when trying to get a job, you go for that OSCAR potential dick suck…

She’s adapted to social media in her old age….because she’s posted her ass and nips consistently and in a world that reduces women to their tits, she’s perfect fodder for a site that reduces women to their tits as a social commentary to how the world reduces women to their tits, while also liking tits….

Posted in:Dora Madison Burge